Be a Strong Woman: Carnegie's Book of Spiritual Growth for Women

Chapter 28 Left-handed love and right-handed marriage, women's happiness must be managed (3)
After returning to the United States, Frances became the busiest hostess in the United States again.She was also busy entertaining the constant stream of dignitaries who came to visit Thomas, including explorers, pilots, and many other luminaries.Weekends at the Thomas House are often bustling with 50 to 200 guests.

Frances had to endure even more worries when her husband was away on expeditions.For example, during the German Revolution after World War I, she heard over the phone from the newspaper office that her husband had been wounded while covering a shootout, and she had to wait in Paris for the news.

On another occasion, Lowe Thomas was seriously injured while passing through a mountainous area.He was carried on the shoulders of the locals and walked for more than 20 days before he left the mountain safely.During all these days of mental torment, Frances suffered alone from the panic of losing her husband.

Can you stand such an energetic and adventurous husband?Can you bear all the pressure behind your husband's fame alone?So, being the wife of a celebrity is not an easy and fun thing.If you can adapt to your husband's work and lifestyle now, then you are happy, because you have been able to solve the troubles brought by life.

happy with husband

Many women often complain that their husbands spend most of their time on their hobbies, but never think about sharing the joy of these hobbies with their husbands.

Florence's husband was an outstanding kendo player, and she couldn't even understand the simple terms of kendo.But she later won the National Women's Kendo Championship three times in a row, and was selected as an Olympic representative several times.

If it hadn't been for Florins to take the trouble to learn and share the joy of sharing interests and hobbies with her husband, maybe her husband would have to give up some valuable life in her life, or she would have to live alone while her husband pursues his hobbies. living a lonely life.

Edgar Wallace is a famous mystery and adventure novelist.His work was very heavy, and horse racing was his favorite pastime.Mrs. Huaras had no particular interest in this aristocratic sport, but she knew that her husband needed a break from his heavy workload.So she accompanied her husband to the races and admired the famous horses with him to encourage him to spend more time on recreation.

If the wife has learned to take pleasure in her husband's leisure and amusement, she will not be left behind by him.

The first days of Mrs. Frances Huett's marriage were unhappy, for her husband, as he had in his bachelor days, spent his spare time at friends' houses.Mrs. Huett, on the other hand, wished that her husband would be at home often.But she didn't nag, cry, or accuse him of neglecting her.Instead, she researched and learned from her husband's hobbies.

Mr. Huett enjoys playing chess and plays it at a professional level.So Mrs Huett asked her husband to teach her how to play chess.In no time, she became quite a formidable opponent.Mr. Huett loved company, and Mrs. Huett tried to make the house very comfortable.So Mr. Huett began to proudly bring his friends home instead of running outside all day.

This approach works.Since Mrs. Huett had learned of her husband's taste, Mr. Huett no longer found it necessary to leave his wife behind and play outside.

"I think," said Mrs. Huett, "that the most important thing a wife can do for her husband is to make him happy."

If you want your husband to be happy too, try to share common hobbies with him.

Be gentle and courteous to your husband

Dam Loch, the wife of the great American orator Bray, once said: "When we choose our partners, we must be cautious; secondly, after marriage, we must pay attention to each other's courtesy. Young wives, you might as well treat a Like a guest, treat your husband with gentleness and courtesy. Any husband is afraid that his wife will be a cursing shrew."

Rudeness, rudeness, will destroy the fruits of love.I believe everyone knows this fact, but it is only natural that we treat a guest more politely than our own family members.

We don't want to jump in and say to a guest, "My God! You're telling those old corny stories again!"

"There is an inner politeness, which is connected with love. It will produce the most pleasing politeness on the surface of behavior." Goethe said.

We would never open someone's mail without their permission.At the same time, we will not pry into other people's privacy and secrets.However, when we face our closest family members, we will openly reprimand and insult them as soon as we find that they have even the slightest fault.Let's look at Dix's words: "That's an astonishing thing, but it's true. Almost all the mean, insulting, hurtful things we say are aimed at family members .”

Resnow said: "Courteousness is a quality of the heart, which can teach a person to ignore the broken garden gate and concentrate on the flowers in the garden."

Courtesy is as important to a married life as a car is to gasoline.

Holm is considerate and considerate to everyone in the family, and takes every possible care.Even if he has something unpleasant in his heart, he must hide his worry and not show it on his face for the family to notice.

Holm can do this, but what about ordinary people?Ordinary people, if they make a mistake, encounter unpleasant things, fail their business, or get criticized by the boss, they would like to go home as soon as possible and vent the "worse spirit" they received from the office on their family members. .

Learn to Improve Your Husband's Influence
Try to draw attention to your husband's strengths and minimize your husband's weaknesses.

Each of us has our own shortcomings.Beethoven was deaf, Byron was lame, Napoleon was afraid of speaking in front of the public, and even the brave Archer had his weakness - he dared not expose his heels.

The problem is, a man's mistakes sometimes get in his way.But a woman's mistakes only affect her family and social success.

For example, every person in business will tell you how important the ability to remember people's names and faces is.Yet most of them will go on to say that they find this difficult to do.Rather than lamenting her husband's poor memory, the wife can train herself to remember those names, and when she catches her husband hesitating, do him a favor.

If the wife chooses, she can also make up for some lack of training or education in the husband.Many self-taught great men have achieved success because of the help of their learned and educated wives.The wife of President Andrew Johnson, who taught the president to read and write only after she got married.

Many people are now limited by their professional knowledge and have no opportunity or leisure to learn other things.How lucky is such a man to have a wife who can answer fluently when a group of people talks about music, literature, and similar subjects.

Some men are too modest, and that's not necessarily good for him.If your husband is in the habit of underestimating his own accomplishments, it will be seriously and firmly believed that he is not really a man of talent.

What should you do?Here are some tips to help a dry violet branch bloom again:

Remind him of successful things he has done in the past.

Use the opportunity to ask him as many questions as possible and encourage him to express his opinion.

Hang out with friends who inspire him.

Although the impression your husband brings to others does not properly represent his inner worth.However, this impression does determine how others perceive him.So, why don't you help him make a good impression on others?

Between husband and wife, don't be a good teacher

As a leader, we often criticize and accuse our spouse of poor ability, low level, and superficial knowledge, and set short-term goals and order them to be completed within a time limit; dignity; we often educate each other as parents, earnestly, follow good temptations, act both hard and soft, establish rules and control, and require spouses to change from passive to active, form a habit, and consciously be a good child; we often use the savior’s Our status is to repay kindness, domineering, and ask our spouses to never forget their kindness, and to be willing to take the lead; we often, as shaders, ask for a big tree with luxuriant branches, a vigorous canopy, and a firm trunk, so that we can enjoy peace in the wind and rain.

As a result, there will naturally be constant disputes between husband and wife.

Think about our situation, the universe is vast, the sea is full of vicissitudes, our home is just a cave, and the husband and wife who get into the cave are like two hardworking mice.We are small and clever, and we dare not slack off in order to survive, creating happiness bit by bit, and continuing to future generations.After a hundred years of busy work, I only realized two words: survival.How difficult it is to survive, the situation is changing, and the fate is unpredictable.But we have a hole after all.

If we regard ourselves as small, understand the mediocrity of the other party with a small heart, be tolerant and full of love, let him complete his life with an independent personality.Then what disputes do we have - sometimes, our friction is just a failure to figure it out.

Although we are small, we are also a meteor that flashes across the universe.We live a life, have our own ambitions and social responsibilities, in this sense we are great.Life is like a dream, and we must seize the day and night.At this time, we should jump out of our own caves, and the husband and wife should no longer be small rats, but mighty tigers, full of vigor, fighting hard and doing something.Maybe we get hurt and become rats again, shrinking into our holes, but our spouses comfort us.

Husband and wife don't have to pursue and discuss things that belong to tigers in the state of rats in the cave.Whether it is a strong tiger or a weak tiger, it cannot be used in the cave.When you get out of the cave, you can try your best to cross the sea and show your abilities.

In the family, husband and wife should try to avoid——

[-]. Design the future for the other party and criticize the success or failure of the other party's career;

[-]. Comment on the other party's relatives and friends, monitor the other party's whereabouts, and inquire about the other party's plans.

[-]. Busy for the other party's work and career without the other party's request;
[-]. Force the other party to hand over their income to their own management, and suspect that the other party conceals their income;
[-]. Discuss each other's positions, achievements, abilities, and gains.

It is best for husband and wife to build a happy family together in an atmosphere of mutual admiration as equals.Of course, topics other than family cannot be refused and avoided. As long as you follow the above principles, fully respect each other, and be relaxed and comfortable, the atmosphere will be more harmonious.

Seven things you must say to a man

Women are always used to listening to men's sweet talk, but they have never said anything "nasty" to men.In fact, men, like women, also love to listen to sweet words.A woman who can talk will send her sweet words to him in a timely manner to win his joy and favor.

Some people say that in the face of love, men want to hear expressions of love from each other more than women.In real life, men, as the guardians of the family or the future family, not only bear the pressure of society, family, love, etc., but also face the challenges brought by their self-esteem from time to time.Therefore, when a man falls in love recklessly, that is when he is most vulnerable.At this time, a kind word from a woman can make him feel caring.

So, what kind of words can win a man's heart the most?Please review, how many of the words listed below have you ever said to him?

One, I love you.Yes, men also love to hear you say: I love you, and the reason he loves to listen is actually the same as you.If you want to add a little fun, you can also use Japanese, French, Hebrew... to say to him: I love you, instead of just saying: I love you too.

Two, you are really wise.If a man praises a woman for her wisdom, it seems to mean that her appearance is questionable; but if a woman says to a man, "You are really wise", the man will be very useful, because in comparison, a man's wisdom is more important than his handsome appearance. something to be proud of.Although many praises are nonsense, who doesn't know how much they are?But since everyone loves to listen, its existence cannot be obliterated.Praise is a kind of affirmation, and it is a very good means of regaining or increasing self-confidence.

Three, you are so funny.A man with a sense of humor is always in demand, as long as he's not a chatterbox or a clown.There is always laughter around a humorous man. In this relaxed atmosphere, if you sincerely say to him: "You are so humorous." Presumably he is also happy in his heart.

Four, you are so generous.In our society where the material life has not been thoroughly enriched, generous men are still in short supply.Because many times a man's generosity to himself in material terms represents his love for himself.For example, he spent half a year's salary to buy you an expensive diamond ring, which shows that he cares about you very much, and you might as well praise him "You are so generous" when accepting the gift.

Five, you are really capable.They try to make themselves outstanding, but few women say to him "you are really capable", don't be so stingy, even if he is not as good as you think.

[-]. You are a gentleman.As people grow older, people will become more and more mature, but it cannot be said that all adults are mature.Mature men and women exude a unique charm.So, at some point, a gentleman is the best compliment to a man.

[-]. You are the best husband in the world.Taking care of women is a matter of course, and taking care of your wives is an inescapable responsibility.Then, if he behaves well, such as taking the initiative to help you with housework, you should tell him "you are the best husband in the world" without losing the opportunity. Not only will he be happy when he hears it, but he will also be more willing to be a good husband.

Of course, speaking these sweet words also requires certain skills.As long as you pay a little attention, you will find out what the man closest to you likes to hear and what he doesn't like to hear-in this way, you can say more about what the other party likes to hear and not what the other party doesn't like to hear.

(End of this chapter)