Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 13
"Ha ha? Ha ha? Let you ha ha!" I said cheerfully to the jade plate, "Let's see if you can still laugh out loud!"

Sanniang, Nanchen and I came upstairs.Now the total time has passed six minutes and 47 seconds, the gambler looked at the puppet on the wall, and said nothing with a sullen face.

"There are still more than three minutes." I asked the gambler triumphantly, "Can you find the little ghost among the hundreds of dolls?"

Seeing that he was in a difficult situation, San Niang tried to persuade him: "Since you understand that the technique of raising ghosts will backfire, even if you take the little ghost away, he is still a time bomb by your side. Why do you have to find him?"

The gambler said: "That's right, it's because I knew that the technique of raising ghosts would be counterproductive, and I lived in fear before I was alive. Until now, this is also a knot in my heart. I must win with my blood on my body, and I am a community of destiny with me." , he might be my biggest weakness."

"So, if I find him this time..." The gambler grinned, showing his withered teeth, "I will swallow it into my stomach, and let him and I truly become one! As long as I eat it With my own weakness, I am invincible in the world!"

Sanniang looked at me regretfully, shook her head, and told me with her eyes that this guy is seriously ill, and it seems that there is no cure.

"Then just look for it slowly." I turned around, "I'll go downstairs and wait. I'll call you when the time comes. Don't thank me too much."

"Hehehehehe..." The gambler suddenly laughed behind me, "Hehehehehe, you're showing off."

"What?" I was taken aback, and turned to look at the gambler.

The gambler stared at me sharply: "I was almost cheated by you! If you are sure to win among these hundreds of dolls, you must be very nervous now, how can you watch the excitement so leisurely?"

"I...I..." I said, "Is my mental quality good?"

The gambler laughed and said, "You are just trying to confuse my soul with blindfolded tricks, it's not about winning!"

Nan Chen said, "Then you can keep looking."

The gambler looked around and said, "I searched all over this house just now, but I couldn't find it. In addition, you have found messy ghosts to interfere with me, so I can't analyze the situation for sure. Now... as long as I calm down ..." He closed his eyes, and after a few seconds, he opened them suddenly!

Sanniang and I looked at each other, looking nervously at the gambler.

"Hahahahaha, so it is." The gambler was extremely happy, and finally changed his way of laughing, "So it is!"

"What's wrong?" Nan Chen asked strangely.

The gambler said: "No wonder I can't feel where he must win. It turns out that he is constantly moving."

I was shocked!
The gambler stared at me and said, "He's right next to me! You attached him to something else!"

My feet were so weak that I nearly collapsed.

Sanniang also turned pale, and asked, "Tell me, where is he?"

The gambler squatted down, waved his hand on the ground, grabbed something, then put his clenched fist in front of Sanniang and me, and spread it out: "He's right here!"

He held a cockroach in his hand.

I opened my mouth, Sanniang covered half of her face with a fan, and neither of them could speak.

The corner of Nan Chen's mouth twitched, "You said...it's this?"

The gambler held the cockroach's leg and shook it a few times. The whole body of the cockroach turned into a pocket version of the little devil, and the little devil screamed: "Ah... ah... ah..."

"I found you! I must win! I must win!" The gambler laughed loudly, "I still win this game!"

Nan Chen still couldn't believe it, and turned to look at us: "This..."

The gambler chuckled, opened his mouth wide, held the cockroach's leg with both hands, and threw the cockroach into his mouth in an extremely slow and exaggerated gesture.

"Ah!" Sanniang exclaimed, looking at the gambler in pain, "You..."

"You are a beast!" I scolded, "You can eat this!"

"Hehehehe." The gambler said, "It's useless to scold me. I said earlier that I am invincible. You should die." After speaking, he took out the dice and threw it on the ground.

The number on the dice was exactly two.

I just felt my body lighten up, and in a blink of an eye, I had already entered the dice.

Inside the dice turned out to be another world.It was black and boundless.I kept falling in the air, reached out my hand in a panic, and caught something sticky. I quickly hugged Sanniang with my other hand.

"Horsepower?"

"Uncle Mary!"

"He even came in!"

Suddenly a familiar voice came from below me. I looked down and could vaguely see a bright spot below. After careful identification, there was a table below, surrounded by Wu Xiang, Li Botong and Wang Wang. Bright, the four of them were still holding cards, apparently playing poker.A few people standing behind watching them play poker are Reddy Gaga Yunmei Hanged Ghost and Pixiu.

It's completely different from what I thought, you guys are too laid back!
The hanged ghost said: "Uncle Mary, are you shitting too?"

I looked at them and said with a hey hey smile, "I'm here to accompany you."

"Oh!" Li Botong threw the cards on the table, looked at me and said, "Why did you come in! Then we are hopeless!"

Wu Xiang pointed at Li Botong: "You're playing tricks again, you should have lost this round."

Wu Xiangwang held his head and said: "It doesn't matter whether we lose or not, we have lost all of them now."

Yunmei covered her mouth with her hand, and Pixiu said angrily, "I thought that no matter how incompetent you are, you can win a game, but I didn't expect you to be so incompetent! What are you going to do!" It opened its mouth wide, revealing two fangs Said, "It's better to let me eat it!"

Reddy Gaga was also furious, pointing at me bouncingly and shouting: "Come down, come down! Come down and I'll beat you!"

They are passionate, how can I let go.I said, "I won't go down, if you have the ability, you come up!"

The people below were even more angry, pointing at me and cursing non-stop: "If we could go up, we would have beaten you to death!"

Sanniang wondered: "There are many people with strong magic skills among them, why don't they come up?" After speaking, she took out the jade plate from her bosom, shook it back and forth, and the jade plate suddenly shone brightly, illuminating the surrounding scene.

I saw that the place we were in was all blood-red, with criss-cross tendons, as if inside a human body. What I was holding was an intestine, while the people below were stepping on slow-moving lungs.

Are we inside the body of the gambler?
"Look at their feet." Sanniang called.

I saw that the feet of the people below had melted into one with the lungs like candles, as if they had grown on the lungs, and the speed of the fusion was getting faster and faster, almost half of their bodies were gone.

Gamblers want to absorb us!

"You really lost." Wang Liang said, "The fusion speed has increased several times."

Sanniang frowned, took out her fan again, and stabbed the nearby blood vessels fiercely, but she didn't expect the fan to touch the blood vessels, and there was a sound of "ping" metal impact, and the blood vessels were as invulnerable as a copper wall and an iron wall.

"Sanniang, hold me tight." Seeing that the people below were about to be merged, I didn't care so much, so I said to Sanniang, "Let's go down and save them."

After finishing speaking, I let go of my hand, but I didn't expect that my body didn't fall at all. I looked up again and found that my hand holding the intestines was also fused.

"San Niang, let go!" I yelled to San Niang in my arms, "Otherwise you will be fused with me."

"No, Brother Ma." Sanniang looked at me and smiled softly, "We're going to die together."

With beauty and companionship, what can a husband ask for, I laughed three times, hugged Sanniang tightly, and the speed of fusion became faster and faster. In a blink of an eye, the two of us turned into blood and were absorbed by the intestines.

Looking at the people inside the dice, they have completely merged.The gambler sneered and took back the dice: "Hehehe, before he died, he even acted in a love drama about life and death... But the weak are always weak, they can't win." He glanced at Nan who was still standing in the room. Chen, said, "The game is over, there is no need for a referee. You can go back now."

Then, the gambler went to the door. The door of Xin'an on the second floor of the small building had no handle.The gambler pushed the door a few times without opening it, smashed the door in a fit of anger, and stepped out of the small second floor.

"Is the game over?" Someone asked.

"The game is over," said the gambler.

Although it was morning, the sunlight outside the door seemed to be no different from that inside the room.

Suddenly realizing that the voice just now was a bit abrupt, the gambler raised his head strangely.

Just now he had clearly stepped out of the building door, but now he looked up, and the gambler found that he was standing on the stairs on the second floor, if he took a step, he would fall down the stairs.

"Of course the bet is over." The fox spirit's charming voice sounded, "The time has come."

The gambler opened his eyes wide and stared blankly downstairs.

Sanniang and I were standing on the first floor, looking at him cheerfully.

How are you, silly?
"Ten minutes have passed." Nan Chen said, "If you didn't find the kid, you lost."

The gambler let go of his hand, and the three dice in his hand fell to the ground, rolled down the stairs, rolled to my feet, and cracked a crack.

Reddy Gaga, Yun Mei, Hanged Ghost, Li Botong and others who were sucked in by the dice rushed out from the gap one by one.

"Win?" asked the man's head that came out of the dice. I touched his head to confirm, and then shook hands with the men who came out one by one.

Don't forget tears welling up in his eyes: "Horsepower, you have worked hard!"

I shook his hand heavily and said, "Serve the people."

The gambler finally lost his smile: "What the hell is going on?"

"The rules stipulate that you can use spells, but if you find out that you are using the spells, it is considered cheating." I said, "In other words, as long as you use spells that you can't find out during the gambling process, it's okay."

The gambler's face was livid: "What spell did you use?"

Sanniang opened the fan with a clatter, fanned the wind and said with a smile: "Of course it's an illusion."

"Since when?"

"The old man, wife and children you see are all illusions." I said, "But they are all intermittent. The most powerful part is when you take the doll to the stairs and see the leftmost room. At that time and after that, everything you saw was Sanniang's illusion."

"That's right." Sanniang smiled coquettishly, "How could we find so many dolls overnight, they are all fake."

"It's all fake!" The gambler took a step, rolled down the stairs, pulled my trouser leg before standing up, and asked, "What happened after that, including the kid being discovered by me, and you being sucked into the dice , is it all fake?"

"Ten minutes is too long." Sanniang said, "You are such a cautious person. If you have a little time for you to think, you will definitely doubt it, so we must make you watch the whole play."

The gambler obviously couldn't recover from the blow, and muttered repeatedly: "Fake...fake..."

"Hehehehehe, don't be so depressed." I helped him up kindly, and comforted him by patting him, "It's not all fake."

The gambler asks, "What is true?"

"Hehehehe." I said, "At least the cockroach you ate is a real cockroach."

"Cockroach?" Yun Mei covered her mouth.

"Hey..." Reddy looked at the gambler with disgust, "Why do you eat everything?"

The hanged ghost hid behind Wang Liang and said contemptuously, "It's disgusting!"

The gambler must now feel that there are countless grass mud horses running wildly on a prairie called Mary's next door in his heart.

"No!" The gambler shouted again, "If that's the case! Where must he win? There is no smell of him in the whole room! Where did you hide him!"

"Hehehehe." I said, "He's always by your side."

The gambler looked around and cursed, "You're talking nonsense!"

"Brother Ma is not talking nonsense." Sanniang smiled charmingly, "The best way to hide a straw is to throw it in the grass. Similarly, the most perfect way to hide the smell of a brat is to hide him in a place with the same breath on you."

Gamblers are still looking everywhere: "Where is it?"

"Can't you figure it out?" I pointed to the gambler's hand, "You brought him to you yourself."

The gambler looked at his hand, his pupils suddenly dilated.

On the palm of his hand, there was a piece of paint left.

It seems that he finally remembered. After he opened the door this morning, I yelled that the paint was not dry yet, and the piece of paint remained on his hand.

A small piece of the paint slowly turned into a ghost and floated to the ground.

"Hehehehe, why is there no doorknob on the door?" I said, "Because you have to push the door open. If you don't push it, how can the piece of paint that the kid turns into be attached to you. You always say you have no weakness , Hehehehe, in fact, your arrogance is your biggest weakness. You thought you would win, so you didn't have any doubts when we saw that we lost. How about it, we took advantage of the loopholes. Hahahahaha."

"Stop huh!" the gambler yelled, covering his head, "It's so noisy!"

"You know that too." I snapped my fingers, "The bet is over, let's pay the bet!"

"I don't admit it!" shouted the gambler, "you are cheating! I don't admit it!"

"I would like to admit defeat." I said, "This is what you said, and you set the rules yourself."

"Ah! Ah!" The gambler suddenly rolled on the ground holding his head in great pain.The spiritual power on his body was transferred to the little ghost as if being sucked by a magnet.

"Backlash!" Pai Xiu said, "The backlash that gamblers have suppressed for hundreds of years has begun."

'Kacha' 'Kacha' The three dice on the ground were torn apart, hundreds of white souls flew out of the dice, the souls killed by the gambler bit the gambler's body, and the gambler let out a sharp cry .

The gambler struggled and crawled on the ground, crawled to the little devil's feet, stretched out his hand to grab the little devil's feet, opened his mouth to speak, but spat out a mouthful of blood: "I must... win... win..."

Then he seemed to be stuck by something, grabbed his neck in pain, and then spit out half of his tongue with a 'pop' sound!The tongue was neat, as if it had been cut off at the root!
"The gambler will repay the pain suffered by the little devil back then with a thousand times the pain." Li Botong shook his head and said, "The laws of heaven are clear and clear, and there will be evil rewards if you do a lot of evil. I knew why I did it today. I have been greedy for a lifetime. Six relatives do not recognize good and evil, people..."

What happened next to the gambler was really tragic. If it was broadcast on TV, it would definitely be a mosaic. The book written in the book would be a banned book. All in all, seeing the retribution of the gambler, I saved half a year of meat money and ate it all. I can't go down!

Seeing the final result of the gambler, we all sighed.

Pixiu said to me: "It's completely beyond my expectation that you can win."

"I would like to thank my uncle for this. It was he who told me yesterday 'you have your specialty'. I thought hard yesterday to understand this hint. My job is to post advertisements. What is the most important thing about posting advertisements? It must conform to ergonomics! Post the advertisement where it is easiest for people to see and tear up the phone number!” I looked at Li Botong, a Taoist priest with a black beard, and said sincerely: “So I can most understand that when people stretch out their hands, they will push on the phone number.” Why, relying on this, I can accurately paint the paint on which the little devil leans over on the position where gamblers would push the door!" I gratefully held Li Botong's hand, "Uncle, I didn't even realize that I had This advantage, you are worthy of being my uncle, you know me better than myself! I adore you!"

"What!" Li Botong said in shock: "I just want to enter the dice and say nothing, which is disrespectful and immodest. I remembered that people on TV usually said that, so some people followed suit and said it casually. I didn't expect you to still say that." What an advantage!"

I kicked over.

Sanniang smiled sweetly: "Since the matter here has been resolved, then Taoist stinky, you should also settle our matter by the way."

Li Botong laughed: "Pindao suddenly remembered that there is a family in the back mountain waiting for me to get rid of the demon, and we will meet later." After finishing speaking, he quickly rushed out from the door.

"Damn Taoist priest, don't run!" Sanniang stomped her feet and chased after her.

Wu Xiangwang said to me: "Ma Lishu, since the matter on your side is over, I will take Wu Xiang to reincarnate."

Wang Liang said, "I have to go back to the company too. If I'm absent from work these days, I think I'll have to deduct a lot of money."

I pointed to Nan Chen beside me: "You take him back too."

This wave of people was finished, and I looked back, the little ghost was still standing there, Yun Mei supported his shoulder and looked at me.

I asked: "You have settled this matter, what do you want to do in the future?"

The kid lowered his head and didn't speak.

The hanged ghost said: "What else can I do, he will continue to live with us."

The head of the man said: "But we can't always call him kid, let's give him a name."

The little ghost Yiyi yelled.

Pixiu said: "He said he didn't want to say 'must win' anymore."

It seems that this brat has hated gambling and winning.

"Then you'll be called Loser." Reddy Gaga said, "You'll be called Loser by nickname. I'll call you Loser in the future."

The kid's eyes lit up.

"That's a good name." Yun Mei also nodded repeatedly.

Reddy Gaga cheerfully pushed the kid to me: "Horsepower, take care, we will lose from now on!"

Why do I feel more awkward the more I listen to it!
Who is he?
The little ghost's name was finalized by Yunmei.

Yunmei said: "How about we use Malishu's surname and the lost part to form a name."

I blurted out: "Carriage?"

Yunmei looked at me dumbfounded: "Ma Yu."

After naming the name, Yun Mei bent down and asked the kid again, "Is this name okay?"

The kid just got rid of the entanglement of the gambler at this moment, he is happy to call him whatever you want, and nodded quickly.

So the name of the little ghost was decided.

We also discussed for a long time whether to dig out the corpse of the little ghost, but in the end, because this place itself is an extremely yin place, the yin energy is overflowing, and the little ghost couldn't find his body, so we gave up.

(End of this chapter)