good luck

Chapter 872 I Come to Think Today, It’s Raining and Snowing 2
Take away "Daughter of the Sea".

What appeared in front of my eyes was a kraft paper envelope.Barbie doll with blond hair."Blood Myrtle" by Cang Yue.

Tears broke the thread.

See things and think people.

Even if I don't see these things, I miss you the same.You are my best friend and I have never forgotten you.

So so important to you.

Pu Anhao took out the envelope and looked at it like this.

The stale taste of time.Has been exuding quietly.

After five years, reopen the letter you wrote to me again.The grief in my heart continued unabated.In the past five years, have you lived happily in that world?

If you still remember the secret of the stars we said, have you been watching me tenderly in the sky for the past five years?
Are those twinkling stars in the night all your thoughts?
——————— Letter from Zhu Jin to Anhao———————————————————————

To my dear - write to Anhao.

Dear Anhao:
1
When you read this letter, I am no longer in this world.

Please don't be sad.Don't cry either.Don't scold me.I'm really sorry, I just left you and this world.

Because it's my choice.Such an explanation is too simple and rash, you must think so.That's why I made up my mind to write you such a long letter.

This is the first time I have written a letter since I grew up, and it is still a long letter from an elder.You must be patient to read on. (I don’t need to remind you, you will. Because you are the most gentle and good-tempered girl in the world. Because you are Park Anhao.)
2
Now to get down to business.

Where is the best place to start?My former life?What's your impression?No, let's start with what happened when we first met.You must have not forgotten it. (Actually, I really want to know what you think of my story, but unfortunately I will never know again.)
Then let me tell you what I think? You haven't asked me for so long.Cough, no one told us that we are not good at talking.From now on, I will tell you all the joys, sorrows and joys I have experienced in my whole life (I know I should say my 17 years. Well, please forgive me. Allow me to be hypocritical once.).You said before that you wanted to be a writer.Hahaha.You see, I am creating excellent material for you. (Anhao, don't cry.) If you really write a book in the future, you must remember to write me in it.I really want to read it... Fortunately, I have read your composition before, the "May Wind" in the school newspaper, I like it very much.

3
This time I really want to get to the point.

My family didn't come to the dormitory to take my things.I knew it would be like this.Anyway, I'm not her own.She never liked me anyway. (Anhao, don't be shocked, I will tell you everything.)
Most importantly, since I'm dead anyway, what's the point of taking it back?They were already impatient with me when I was alive, what's more, now that these things are taken back, can they have other meanings besides occupying space?No!

However, my dad will be lonely... I still believe that he loves me. (Actually, there is a voice in my heart that says, no. But Anhao, you always say that we have to believe in beauty, love, and that someone really loves us. So, I believe in you, listen to you, and believe him. Believe Besides taking care of you, he also loves me.)
My things, well, what are you going to do with them?
4
life experience.

Well, what is your first reaction when you see such words.Do you feel so mysterious. (There must be.)
my background.Now what I'm going to tell you is.

I am not my mother's own.Forgive me for such a simple and pale sentence.Of course, I must be my father's own, with another woman.I don't know what kind of woman she is, but she should be a good person.Because my father still helps her to support her mother so far.

Because of this, my mother has always disliked me.I just found out this month too.In the past, she always thought that it was because she didn't do a good job and was not as good as her sister, which made her feel ashamed all the time.I've always thought so.So no matter what she asks me to learn, I will still compromise in the end.I want to be good and get her praise like my sister.I always thought that as long as I did it, it would change and her attitude towards me would change.

Now it seems that even if I am a genius, the result will not be any different.

5
You asked me why I was unhappy that day.I'm not actually unhappy.I am uncomfortable. (Anhao, you must be so smart to know the difference between the two.)
In the eyes of others, there is everything, and there is nothing missing.Almost like a princess.An Hao, you have always thought so.Yes, none of you are wrong.With a mayor dad, what more could I ask for.

Please don't be surprised, I've been hiding it.One reason is because even if I didn’t say it, you should have heard some rumors more or less. For example, my good grades are actually because the teacher revealed the topic to me.For example, I joined Zilin because of family reasons like everyone else.Well, you probably haven't heard of it.Another reason is that I don't know how to start.Could it be that he said: "An Hao, my father is the mayor." This is obviously showing off?It must be despised by you.You will definitely say that you are the old-fashioned family?Speaking of which, do you remember the last time I got angry and ignored you because of what you said to the 22-star queen?

"I don't know that your old friend's reputation is not asking if Bie Lai is safe."

My first reaction at the time was that it's a good thing that she doesn't know about my family situation, otherwise one day our quarrel would probably be ruined like this.Anhao, not everyone likes the halo on their body, there are many things that cannot be changed.

It's like no one knows how heavy the shadow under my halo is, and no one knows how uncomfortable and unhappy I actually live.

6
Choosing to leave is not impulsive.

I have always had this thought.She shook off my hand and walked forward holding my sister.From her fleeting smile on my face.I feel that my life may really be superfluous.

It's just that I'm really not reconciled.Many things can't see the end until the end, good or bad.

I wish my mom could treat me like my sister, really, really.I also think that my sister can treat me like a younger sister.But, I think, I can only think.

My mother told me not to embarrass my father, so I studied hard.She said to live like a sister, and I followed her steps.I have always thought that as long as this is the case, she will treat me differently.She'll find out that I'm not so bad, that I'm not going to embarrass Papa.

But I didn't wait till I died.

7
Speaking of death.Anhao, are you afraid?
Confucius said that there is nothing greater in sorrow than death in the heart, and death in the human body is the second.I like this saying.

But I don't think it's right, it should be that there is nothing more to be sad than a heart that never dies.For example, I have always hoped for the so-called maternal love.Always wanted to get it.Even now that I no longer care about whether she will like me again, subconsciously I still think that it would be great if she could love me well.Such obsession.Even if I have given up on life, I have never given up thinking about it.

Well, I am very sad.

8
Do you like this little Barbie?Is she the kind you loved as a kid?

You said that the happiest thing for you when you were a child was playing house with Zhang Jingya.Because you guys will make a lot of clothes for the dolls.However, you have never had a little Barbie of your own.In fact, I'm not sure if you still want to own one as much as you did when you were a child, because you told me before that what you waited too long to get is no longer what you want.

However, I still hold good hopes, I hope you like it, I hope you are happy.

Wish we could meet sooner, so we won't be so alone.

9
Anhao, the happiest thing for me is to know you and really study in the same school, the same classmate, the same dormitory, and the same club, and participated in "Listen to Xuelou: Xuewei" together.

I'm really happy on the 22 star days.

This "Blood Myrtle" is for you.Inside is a bookmark, which I hand-drawn.There is a surprise when you open it.

10
You have to keep your bank card.The password is your birthday.

This is our travel fund.

Don't forget that we said that after graduation, we will go to many places.Although I can't go with you, you must go.You keep saying that even one person can be amazing, so, dear Anhao, go forward bravely and confidently.

Your life is still very long, and the chances of life are always unlimited, and you will definitely meet better friends than me.

You will never be alone again.

11
Do you remember that summer night when we sat on the swing next to the rockery and watched the stars together?

The stars are so bright, so many, so beautiful.Just thinking about their twinkling lights makes me happy and laughs inexplicably.A long time ago, there was a boy who liked me. He always said Xiaojin, if you feel lonely and unhappy, you should often look up at the starry sky.We also walked together at night, he said, look, the stars are so beautiful, like a beautiful river.At that time, I was a little fond of sad spring and autumn, I said, but it was a pity that it disappeared during the day.Although I know that the stars are always in the sky and during the day, it's just that the sun is so strong that we can't see them with our naked eyes.Do you know what he said to me?He said, Xiaojin, even if we can't see it, the stars are still in the sky, and they haven't gone anywhere.Some people are always there even if you never see them.But I didn't take it to heart at all.Now think how much... regret.Like An Hao, he has been very kind to me for a long time.

Around that time, every time I was sad, I would look up at the stars in the sky and count them one by one.When the sun rises, you will feel empty in your heart.Like an empty sky.It seemed that the Milky Way was still brilliant just now, but when I accidentally blinked, they all disappeared.In fact, it gradually decreases little by little and then disappears.

Just like the boy who used to be very good to me, after I broke his heart again and again, he alienated me a little bit, and then simply ignored me again.

Love needs to be reciprocated.There is no giving in this world without expecting anything in return.

12
I still want to continue talking to you—the stars.

Well, I have the French-Chinese translation of Saint-Exupery's "The Little Prince" by my hand.Haha, yes, the one you gave me.When you gave me the book, you said Zhu Jin, you must read it carefully.I was still thinking about being so cautious, and I had already seen it when I was a child.Now I'm ready to rewatch it all over again.This is your favorite book, just like my favorite "Daughter of the Sea".

Fairy tales are always so beautiful, and the sadness in fairy tales is also beautiful, it is so pure that there is no trace of impurities.It would be great if there really was a fairy tale world in the world.

It is said that after death, people will go to the place they want to go most.

It is said that the soul still exists after death.

I believe in all of these.

Well, wipe away your tears, don't be sad, don't be sad, everyone will say goodbye in the end.

13
The little prince said, you look up at the stars at night, my star is too small, I can't point out where my star is.This is even better.You may consider my star to be among these stars.Well, all the stars you'll love to see...these stars will be your friends.

The little prince said, when you look at the sky at night, since I live on one of the stars, and since I smile on one of the stars, it will seem to you that all the stars are laughing, Then what you will see are smiling stars!
The little prince said, after you are comforted (people always comfort themselves) you will be happy because you know me.You will always be my friend.You'll want to laugh with me.

14
Well, I will become a star in the sky after I die.Maybe the brightest.Perhaps the most inconspicuous.But I am among the hundreds of millions of stars.Maybe before that, you thought stars were just stars.But now that I tell you this, you will feel that these stars are unique.Because the star is me.

15
I don't regret it at all.

After writing this, even the things that I felt a little regretful before, I no longer feel regretful.

Anhao, thank you for accompanying me through such a long journey.

16
Well, I'm not here, will you be lonely?
It's okay, you still have Zhang Jingya.Liu Yuhan is also kind to you. I always feel that he has some love for you, but it's not entirely true.Anhao, you are sometimes too slow to respond, and you can't understand what people really want to express for a long time.But sometimes, the reaction is too sensitive, and some think too much.I really want to teach you about thinking too much.Don't always have trouble with yourself, and carry all the eggs in the world on your own shoulders.You are only one person, your heart is only so big, your shoulders can only carry so much.Consider some for yourself properly.

Time has come here, looking back at the past, I never lived for myself.Whether it is bad or good, they all carry the expectations of others.Even if not all of them, they are working hard to cater to others and get their affirmation.Thinking about it is a failure.

Well, your road is still so long, you must, you must follow your heart and live well.

17
All right, I'm leaving.

Remember, the star is me and it loves you for me.

--Hibiscus

Nov. 2007, 6

Watch once, cry once.

That bookmark has a hand-painted red rose flower on the front, and a photo of Hibiscus and Park Anhao on the back.She traced patterns in the blank spaces.

How could Pu Anhao not know that she herself had such a habit a long time ago.

They were so incompatible.

In the past, I went away, and the willows were Yiyi; now I come to think about it, it is raining and snowing.

Even after five years, five years between heaven and man, the heart-wrenching pain still hasn't gotten better, but she knows that the only thing she can do is to live stronger with thoughts of her.

She said she wanted to be a queen, then she would work hard to become a queen who can protect important people.

If I can meet you in my dream tonight, I want to tell you, if there is an afterlife, let me protect you, and you can be a little princess.

(End of this chapter)