good luck

Chapter 563 One Hundred Years of Solitude ([-])

Park Anhao’s Diary, May 2013, 5 You said that I am a person who can live well alone

To this day, I still can't stop mourning the lost past.

Sitting on the school bus in the morning, I suddenly lost my mind.Looking at the rapidly receding buildings outside the window, I think of you and the time we spent together.

Dad used to always say this familiar allegorical saying, the leftovers were fried three times, and the dog didn't even hear it.If one thing is explained over and over again, it will lose its original flavor more and more, until it becomes annoying in the end.

This is the truth, if you eat the leftover food from yesterday, it’s just a bit unpalatable if you eat it today, but if you continue to eat it tomorrow, it’s just a bit unpalatable, and if you continue to eat it the day after tomorrow, you’ll have the urge to throw it away.

What about you in my memory, I have missed you like this more than once.I know this is just pure utopianism, something illusory, no matter how you think about it, it is useless.And it's a waste of time and energy.

Those old problems have not changed at all.Thinking of you suddenly has become a stubborn old disease that is difficult to cure.That's not all, the most shameful thing is that when I think that you may not think of me again at all, I feel so depressed that I want to die.

Also very frustrated.I really don't like myself like this, I hate it to death.Even if he said these things now, he was gnashing his teeth, wishing to crush himself to ashes.

I still remember that when we quarreled, I always refused to bow my head. You always said that I am a person who can live well on my own, and I don’t need anyone, so I can always say it easily. ,calm down.I think you must still think so now.I am invincible.I can do well alone.

I also admit it.I can't live too badly by myself, and my ability to survive in the wild is still good.It is more than enough for a person to take care of himself.

But that's because I've always been alone.When you are alone, no one can rely on, so you must become stronger yourself, so you must become someone who can make yourself feel safe.

Later you appeared in front of me, even though I kept saying that I had to rely on myself and be alone; in fact, I put down my posture and relied on you, relying on your tolerance and love.So I never take the initiative to admit my mistakes, because you will come to coax me.I know you love me, at least I can say it without hesitation at that time.

Sometimes Lu Jinnian thinks about what Wei Liang said to me, she said that you are the one who doesn't like to stay, even if you stay, it's short-lived.

I still have no way to deny that our separation, our reunion, we have experienced so much, people who think that they can see the joys and sorrows of the world through each other, but in the end they still did not get together.I don't know what the hell is going on here.

It's obviously easier to see people's hearts than others, isn't it?

We are so confident that there is nothing we can do about the people we love deeply.

At night, at [-]:[-], I was still under the desk lamp, writing these fragmented feelings.After so many years, the habit of writing a diary has not changed.And you.Do you still write a few words now, do you still remember the golden dream you once told me.

When I stopped writing, I suddenly thought, what would it be like if we met again after a few years?Have you ever imagined this?
(End of this chapter)