If you are still together when you wake up

Chapter 18 I Love You

Xia Huixi pushed open the door, and looked for Su Ruhao's figure by the faint light of the light.She ran over with small steps, held his hand, and said with a smile, "How do we go?"

It's like breaking free from a world with layers of constraints, two people, a strange world, and upside-down solar terms, all of which make her feel free and fresh.Her voice sounded light and sweet, like a small flower blooming in spring, full of impatient vigor and vitality.

Su Ruhao glanced sideways at her, but with a solemnity that was incompatible with her.

"What's the matter?" Xia Huixi quietly stretched out her hand and clasped his fingers, "You look very unhappy?"

He didn't answer, he reached out his hand to gesture to a car on the side of the road, took her hand and walked over.

After getting into the car, his expression seemed to relax slightly, and he asked her lightly, "What did you say to him in the end?"

"I said...the consultation will continue when I go back." Xia Huixi said quickly, as if this could relieve her pressure, and looked at Su Ruhao's increasingly gloomy face anxiously, feeling uneasy moved.

His eyes were unbelievably bright for a moment, and he let go of her hand without saying a word.

"You don't ask me why?"

"Yes." He raised the corners of his eyes slightly, and said word by word, "I'm waiting for you to tell me the reason - after being coerced by him to come here, I came to you day and night, and you said you still want to talk to him reason to continue working together.”

The driver stepped on the brakes, and Xia Huixi rushed forward, and her internal organs also moved forward, feeling dizzy and nauseated.

He noticed it with a frown, his face still pale, hesitated for a moment, still stretched out his hand, slowly and gently massaged her lower abdomen in circles near the stomach, and "hummed" again: "Have you had dinner yet? "

The movements were slow and skillful, and the palms were warm, as if they were injecting heat into her body.Xia Huixi felt that the discomfort of stomachache and motion sickness were disappearing, she clasped her hand on the back of his hand little by little, slowly held it, and finally stopped: "You came so soon, I... waiting for you."

He smiled, withdrew his hand, and looked out of the window again.

"I decided to continue because it seems that Pei Yueze has potential schizophrenia symptoms. Maybe he doesn't know it very well." Xia Huixi didn't know if he was listening, but he still said to himself Go on, "If you look at it this way, some of his behaviors are easy to understand."

Su Ruhao finally turned around, with shock in his eyes, but also seemed to be in disbelief, and repeated: "Crazy? Pei Yueze?"

Xia Huixi couldn't tell him everything, so he could only nod his head, and simply said: "It seems like this now. Part of his personality is so strong that this crack exists, but it is covered up again. In the past, people couldn't see the clues. My initial judgment is like this."

Su Ruhao's expression became serious, he straightened up slightly, and looked at the road ahead with bright eyes.After a long time, he asked: "What is the basis?"

Xia Huixi put her hands in her pockets, gently stroking the corners of the paper, which was a little thin and a little hard.She pulled it out very slowly, unfolded it again, and handed it to Su Ruhao.

Su Ruhao looked down for a while, maybe because the light was not bright enough, he looked so carefully that he didn't even hear the driver calling his name.

"Mr. Su, here we are."

He still didn't seem to hear it, just folded the piece of paper, returned it to her, and asked ponderingly: "Is this what he drew?"

Xia Huixi nodded.

"It's still wrong." He slowly analyzed, "Are you sure he drew it while relaxing, not consciously? The lines of this painting are too meticulous, and the strokes of the portrait are like someone copying something from memory , and there are traces of modification, it doesn’t look like a work under free association.”

A trace of admiration flashed across Xia Huixi's eyes, and he explained to him: "This is my copy. His painting is on the beach, so there is no way to preserve it."

He nodded and said nothing more.The doorman has already opened the door for them, and they have been waiting for a long time.

"Let's stay here for one night now." Su Ruhao turned around and held out his hand to her, "It's already here, let's play for a few days."

The Sheraton Hotel in Sanya, at this time, the night is dark, and the lights are like bright jewels, making it more and more resplendent.When Xia Huixi walked into the hall, she looked at her dress with some anxiety, and her toes curled up slightly on the slippers.Su Ruhao didn't notice this, he quickly completed the formalities, and took her hand to the room.

The room is not very big, but it is also extremely luxurious.Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows is a sea-view terrace with an excellent viewing angle.Because it is night, looking out from a distance, there is a piece of mist, which makes people unable to tell whether it is the sky or the sea.

The customer service quickly delivered the order, and everything was listed on the table. Xia Huixi ate a few mouthfuls of macaroni, turned around and saw that he was still carefully analyzing the picture under the lamp, and couldn't help asking him: "Do you still want to see the picture?" What's going on?"

He smiled, stood up and sat beside her.

"The most notable thing in the composition, of course, is this notch that divides the picture in two. It splits the whole picture, which is one of the characteristics of schizophrenia. You thicken this line, presumably he is on the beach When painting online, this one is also focused on digging deeper.”

Xia Huixi nodded, remembering that when she saw the painting, she also noticed the line like a split mirror at first sight.This is known academically as a divisive line.In fact, it doesn't just appear in this place. Around every star and every flower, there are isolated lines, showing the split in the spiritual structure.

"Also, the whole picture is in the shape of a vase. This container is a spiritual measure of himself. It shows that he tries to integrate different things together in this container. The tilted state is because the structure is unstable, so Falling into one aspect of the split." He looked at her inquiringly, "This picture does expose all the conflicts in Pei Yueze's mind, with typical split characteristics-what else did he tell you?"

Xia Huixi silently took the paper and looked at several prominent images: irises, stars, and vines.She glanced at him, tightened her lips, and decided not to speak.

But Su Ruhao's body approached her little by little until he was an inch away from her, staring at her closely: "What does that vine branch and leaf sticking out of the bottle represent?"

Xia Huixi turned her head slightly to the side, and couldn't think of anything to say in a hurry, just shook her head and said in a low voice: "I don't know."

He gently lifted her chin with his fingers, and wiped away a little ketchup from the corner of her mouth with his thumb, his eyes were burning and complicated, and he said softly: "He likes you, how could you not know?"

Xia Huixi was so embarrassed that her face was burned, she slapped Su Ruhao's hand away, and stared at him again: "Don't talk nonsense."

There was a slap, which seemed to be still lingering. After hitting her palm, she still felt a little ache, and she felt a little regretful. Looking at the back of his hand, there were already faint fingerprints, and she couldn't help but soften her tone again: " Don't talk nonsense, he doesn't like me."

Su Ruhao leaned back in the chair slowly, and said leisurely: "Don't be so excited. He likes you, I told you very early on. Remember? On the plane to Russia."

The blush on Xia Huixi's face was slowly fading. She didn't know how to explain it, so she could only lower her voice and say with certainty, "He doesn't like me. I just know it."

There was a faint smile on the corner of Su Ruhao's mouth, which made Xia Huixi feel a little bored.Without further arguing with her, he got up and went to the terrace.

She stayed in the room, watched TV for a while, and then looked at the figure on the balcony, but she still couldn't let it go, and pushed the door open.

His figure was gathered in the darkness, like nothingness, and like a black hole, standing there, a little sharp, but also a little lonely.

Like last time, she wanted to walk over quietly and hug his back.

The moment his arm was about to touch him, he was one step faster than her. Instead of letting her hug him without moving, he suddenly turned around, brought her into his arms, hugged her tightly, and lowered his head to kiss her. lip.

Like a very strong lovesickness, but also like a fiery thought, this kiss occupied all her thoughts.Perhaps because of lack of oxygen, there are a large number of gorgeous colors in my mind, like bright fireworks blooming, one after another, overwhelming.

The sea breeze, the sound of insects, intertwined breaths, and entangled hair, his kiss went all the way down, lingering on the side of her neck, gently nibbling at her collarbone.

This feeling seemed to arouse a certain desire in her body, she unconsciously tightened her body, and there was a refusal between her lips and teeth, but her fingers grabbed his back convulsively, but she couldn't really put that Speak out.

Su Ruhao's movements stopped slowly, her thin lips restrained her from leaving her warm and beautiful skin, and then buried her head on her shoulder, and said suddenly and in a low voice: "I'm sorry. "

His mind was still a little confused, and his body suddenly lightened up. He had already picked him up and placed him on the side of the double reclining chair on the balcony.Xia Huixi stared at his bent face in a daze. Through the floor-to-ceiling glass, the indoor lights cast shadows and spots of different shapes on his handsome face in a somewhat confusing way.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't lose my temper." His expression has returned to calm. "Whether he likes you or not, it has nothing to do with us, does it?"

His voice was so soft that it made people tremble, and he looked at her so intently, as if he was looking at a piece of beautiful jade, and his expression was like that of a child eager to respond, with a little uneasiness and vulnerability.

As if losing the ability to speak, Xia Huixi thought hard for a long time, but she didn't know how to respond to him.For a long time, he maintained such a posture, his eyes were like a breeze blowing across her small face, only then did he hear her say a word in a low voice.

He didn't say a word, just tightened his hand on the armchair.

Xia Huixi thought he didn't hear, raised her voice slightly, and said again: "I love you."

Apart from this sentence, it seemed that there was nothing else he could tell his own heart.She was thinking about whether to repeat it again, when his slender fingers brushed her lips, and chuckled softly: "I heard it."

There are factors that make people feel comfortable and happy in the air.

He didn't kiss her again, just lay down next to her, and stretched out his arms to wrap her in his arms, making her curl up like a kitten.The temperature at night was much lower than during the day, he reached out and took the blanket beside her to wrap her body, and asked her in a low voice: "Shall we play here for a few days before going back?"

Xia Huixi rubbed her face against his shoulder and said nothing.

He continued to ask: "How did he bring you here?" After a while, he pressed his brow again, "It's okay if you don't want to talk, I'm just asking casually."

She remained silent, motionless.

Su Ruhao thought she was asleep, so he didn't speak anymore, but sighed inaudibly, and hugged her tighter with his arms.

"Let's go back early, shall we? It's almost the Spring Festival, and it's so hot here, I feel weird..." Xia Huixi's body moved, and she stretched out her arms to wrap around his waist, "I want to go back."

Su Ruhao smiled: "Okay."

"I didn't finish the hot pot last night."

"We'll go back tomorrow, and we can make up for it in the evening."

"how did you find me?"

"I've tried everything I can..." He smiled lightly and kissed her forehead, "I can't let you disappear for no reason."

"Also...were you jealous just now?" Her fingertips pinched his waist slightly, "Say!"

He grabbed her restless hand, kissed it on his lips, and repeated: "I'm sorry."

She shook her head silently: "It's my fault. It made you worry. But this job... I really want to continue... He's not a bad person. And, sometimes, I think he's quite pitiful..."

This sentence was interrupted without saying a word, Su Ruhao said flatly: "I will not force you. But you have to be careful, when dealing with such a case, it is not without danger for the analyst."

I don't know if she heard these earnest cares.When Su Ruhao lowered her head again, she had already fallen asleep with her pillow on her arm.

The blanket was very soft, and her body was wrapped in it, as soft as a feather.Su Ruhao carried her back to the room, and by the light, looked at her sleeping profile in a daze, couldn't help but kissed her cheek over and over again.

Her sleeping face is very beautiful, the corners of her lips are slightly raised, like small flower petals.The moment the light was turned off, Su Ruhao was a little bit reluctant, lost the light, and could only look for her appearance in his memory - he heard his own heart beating again, beating in his chest.

He knew that this was all the beauty he had in this world, just like... his angel.

After breakfast at the hotel's cafeteria in the morning, they checked out and rushed to the airport.Su Ruhao went to check in, and thanks to his carefulness, he even brought his own ID.There are people coming and going at the airport, most of them come to Hainan for the winter.It seemed that there were only the two of them, hurrying back to celebrate the New Year.

Leaning on Su Ruhao's shoulder, when I woke up, more than two hours had passed, and the sweet voice of the stewardess reminded the passengers to fasten their seat belts.In just two days, and only 48 hours before and after, she felt that many things had happened.

The tiny gravels on the beach were still sticking to the soles of his feet, and Pei Yueze's story was still forming pictures in his mind. He had already found himself, and brought himself back safely.Xia Huixi looked at the man beside him, his trench coat was lifted by the cold wind, his side face was quiet, as if sensing her gaze, he glanced at her, and asked in a low voice: "Is it cold?"

In fact, just after leaving the airport hall, she felt that the temperature was okay, and his hands were very warm, holding each other, and she couldn't feel the chill, but the answer was out of control, and she couldn't help but say: " Kind of."

He took off his overcoat, put it on her body, and pulled the skirt for her, almost covering her whole body in it, while he was standing in front of her wearing only a shirt and a dark sea blue knitted sweater , slender and straight.

Until returning to his home, Xia Huixi couldn't stop the smile at the corner of her mouth.Turning around, Su Ruhao was looking at himself inquiringly: "What are you always laughing at?"

She refused to say, but when she saw a table of leftover hot pot ingredients from that day, she glanced at the sauce dish again, and said "tsk tsk" twice: "Su Ruhao, you still ate it secretly without telling me."

He rolled up his sleeves to tidy up, and said calmly, "Yeah, I'm starving to death, let's see who else can go all the way to find you?"

She stood there in a daze, watching his busy back, suddenly the corners of her eyes felt sour, she took a step up, hugged his waist fiercely, and said in a low voice: "Well, only you."

A large pot of soup in his hand almost spilled out, but he managed to hold it steady.Such a heavy vessel was really heavy, but he didn't speak, and let her hold it.

On such a winter day, only by warming each other can we feel happy.

When I went to the supermarket to purchase the next day, I bought a mobile phone by the way, and went to the mobile office to reapply for the card.Looking at the empty business card column in the new mobile phone, Xia Huixi felt that those missing numbers were a bit tricky. When he was debugging, Professor Peng called.

It was almost New Year's Eve, and at this time in the past, Professor Peng would call and ask him to have dinner.Xia Huixi happily picked it up.

Sure enough, it was still the old rule, let her go to eat.Xia Huixi agreed with all her mouth, and suddenly heard the teacher say: "Call Xiao Su too."

When an outsider mentioned it, Xia Huixi was still a little embarrassed. He quickly glanced at Su Ruhao, and involuntarily lowered his voice: "Oh, okay."

Su Ruhao was driving without looking at her, and asked casually, "Professor Peng?"

Xia Huixi nodded: "He asked us to go to his house for dinner together. Little New Year's Eve."

He smiled and agreed: "Okay."

Professor Peng's two children are both abroad, and they don't come back often during the Chinese New Year. As long as the old couple don't go abroad to visit relatives during the Spring Festival, they always ask Xia Huixi to come with them for the New Year's Eve dinner.

In the afternoon, they chose flowers together and bought fruit baskets before visiting.

The teacher's wife came to open the door with a smile on her face, and then turned her head to say hello, "Lao Peng, Xiao Xia and Xiao Su are here."

After saying hello to the teacher, Xia Huixi rolled up his sleeves familiarly, and said to his wife, "I'll help."

Peng Ze greeted Su Ruhao in the living room and said, "Come on, let's go play chess."

The teacher's wife was pickling jellyfish while chatting with her about home affairs. She also seemed to like Su Ruhao very much, and whispered to the young girl, "I think Xiao Su is pretty good. I used to urge the old man to help you find suitable partners. I can't think of such a thing, it's really a coincidence, things like marriage are always predestined by God."

Xia Huixi's face was a little red and she didn't answer.

The teacher's wife put down the seafood in her hand, washed her hands again, and peeled two oranges: "Actually, I'm about the same age, have you met Xiao Su's parents?"

Xia Huixi was taken aback for a moment, this sentence reminded herself that Su Ruhao never mentioned about his parents.This thought made her feel a little uncomfortable, so she could only say vaguely: "Not yet, I think it's too urgent."

"That's right, it's better for girls to be more reserved." The teacher's wife cut up the oranges and put them on a plate, then handed them to her, "Go and deliver them."

Xia Huixi wiped her hands quickly, took the fruit plate, and went to the study.

The door of the study room was closed, and she was about to knock on the door, but she was afraid of disturbing the old man's thinking about the chess game. Almost everyone who knew Peng Ze knew that he liked to be serious in the game of chess, and if he lost, he might blame others for interrupting Think for yourself.After thinking about it, she still quietly turned the doorknob, intending to put down the fruit and leave.

Before the door was opened, she heard an old man and a young man chatting inside.

There seemed to be a slight worry in Peng Ze's voice: "Yes, the review and approval from above has come down. Now it's trial production, but I'm still a little worried about the stability of the drug. You know, it's not like nothing happened before. "

"Since it has been approved, it means there is still no problem. Don't worry too much about it."

"No, you know why the speed is so fast this time. CRIX kept urging me again and again, and now I doubt if they used some means. Otherwise, the approval of the new drug will enter the trial production, and it won't be like this. Smooth and fast."

Xia Huixi frowned slightly. She didn't participate in this work, so naturally she didn't understand what they were discussing.I just remembered that Pei Yueze had mentioned to himself that the girl had suffered from depression, and I couldn't help thinking, maybe it was because of this that he wanted the new drug to be put into production so urgently, right?

After a while, the topic in the room seemed to turn to Pei Yueze.

"His personality is indeed very unstable. Two years ago, the funds for one of our projects were also sponsored by CRIX. Later, something happened, and the project was urgently frozen, and even the reason would not be disclosed to the public. I am always a little worried..." Peng Ze said slowly, "Maybe I'm getting old? I believe in feelings more and more."

Su Ruhao didn't say anything, just smiled lightly.

The teacher's wife said "Hey" behind her: "Haven't you sent it in yet? Why are you standing at the door?"

Xia Huixi quickly knocked on the door and pushed in.

In fact, the two of them were not playing chess, but one of them took a document and studied it carefully.Peng Ze took off his glasses and asked her, "How is the proofreading of the thesis collection going?"

Xia Huixi sneaked a glance at Su Ruhao, and he looked away as expected, as if nothing had happened, but the smile at the corner of his mouth was obviously stubborn.

She bit the bullet: "It's almost finished. I've already contacted the publishing house."

"Oh, don't try too hard for the New Year's Eve." Peng Ze stood up and called Su Ruhao again, "Come, come, let's play the next round."

After they played this game, the food outside the house was already fragrant.Someone in the community started to set off firecrackers. Looking around, the light blue smoke spread out, like a layer of tulle, covering the field of vision.Xia Huixi poked her head in to say hello: "Master said it's time for dinner."

Peng Ze quickly stood up and laughed: "No more, no more."

Xia Huixi guessed that the mentor was about to lose, so she just had a reason, so she walked to Su Ruhao's side, and said in a low voice, "Just let him go, and be careful when he turns around and he will mutter at you again."

He smiled slightly: "If you let him on purpose, do you think he can't see it?"

It was a joy to eat a meal.In fact, they are all home-cooked dishes, pickled hoof, boiled chicken, braised fish... In fact, it is nothing more than big fish and meat, a special oil and water for Chinese New Year.Chatting casually, we ate until after eight o'clock, and finally started to clean up the table. Xia Huixi wanted to help, and Peng Ze waved to her: "Let your teacher clean up, Xiaoxia, come here."

Xia Huixi let out an "hey" and followed him into the study. For some reason, her heart beat slightly faster.

Peng Ze put on his glasses, with a serious expression on his face: "That's right, I'd better tell you about this earlier. You should also be mentally prepared."

Xia Huixi looked up at him without speaking.

"In fact, the college made a decision at the end of the semester. Next semester, your class will have to change lecturers." He spoke slowly, as if this would make it easier for her to accept, "It's mainly a matter of curriculum setting. Next semester There is also case analysis in the class, and they feel that something happened to you before, which is a bit inappropriate. They are afraid that students will have opinions."

Some time ago, I hid myself outside the campus and society. It turns out... the impact of this incident is much more serious than I imagined.

Xia Huixi wanted to justify something, but thought that the decision had been made long ago, and the teacher was just notifying herself, so she nodded disheartenedly and said "oh".

"Also, there was originally a place for a visiting scholar abroad in the first half of the year. I wanted to leave it to you years ago. But, girl, going abroad alone is too hard... Now you and Xiao Su are getting along well. , so I thought, starting from next semester, how about you transfer to the research institute to work? And prepare your doctoral dissertation by the way."

Xia Huixi lowered her head and didn't say anything for a long time. Finally, her tone was aggrieved: "Teacher Peng, actually..."

Peng Ze sighed: "I know, I know, you are very wronged about this matter. I heard you say the cause and effect, and there was nothing wrong with what you did at that time. As for ordinary people, misunderstanding is inevitable. All right."

She still didn't speak, she sat there thinking for a while, tried her best to suppress the frustration, raised her head and smiled: "Actually, I really like being a teacher. But, Mr. Peng, I really didn't expect this The impact will be so serious. In fact, it can be regarded as my misconduct. The college has punished me, and that is what it should be. I will adjust my mentality."

Peng Ze glanced at the student appreciatively: "It's good if you can think that way. In fact, small setbacks are nothing, as long as you figure it out. Well, actually, I know something about the sudden death of the female patient. It's because the side effects of antidepressant drugs are too strong, and there are some problems with her own physical condition..." He didn't go on talking, just sighed: "Forget it, it's all a coincidence."

The way back was very deserted, because it was New Year's Eve, and probably many families were having New Year's Eve dinner.Occasionally, one or two firecrackers exploded in a corner of the city, and it became more and more silent.

It is rare that there is no traffic jam on the main road of the city, and they are the only car waiting for the red light, which seems a bit scattered.

Xia Huixi leaned over to look at Su Ruhao's face, and said: "Be careful, have you had a few drinks today?"

He let out a "huh" and suddenly said in a low voice, "I like the red lights in this city."

She was stunned for a moment, but before she could react, she suddenly felt something soft and soft pressed against her lips, followed by the faint smell of wine, lingering in front of her.

She moved her head slightly, but he stuck to her face relentlessly, even reached out to fix her cheek, and murmured, "Don't move, it will only take a few tens of seconds."

After a while, Su Ruhao seemed to feel her absent-mindedness, and stopped on his own initiative, touching her face: "What's wrong?"

She pointed to the front: "The light is green."

The slight distraction in his eyes was fading, and his eyes became clearer. He asked while driving, "What did Teacher Peng say to you later?"

"It's nothing. After the holidays, I will go to the research institute to work, and the next semester's class has been cancelled." She said as calmly as possible, "It's not a bad thing actually. There is no coursework burden, and the progress of the thesis will be smoother."

He hesitated, just held her hand, without saying anything.

I drank too much at the teacher's house the night before, and got up in the middle of the night looking for water to drink.Xia Huixi woke up after a late sleep, and found several missed calls when she turned on the phone.

She dialed back, it was a flower delivery.

The other party asked very patiently: "Is it Miss Xia? Are you at home?"

She reported her current address, and just after washing up, someone came to look for her.

The visitor was concealed behind a large bouquet of blue flowers, and he only handed over a courier form for her to sign for.

Xia Huixi signed in a hurry, only in time to see a line on the courier slip: "Blue Iris".

Turning around, I saw Su Ruhao leaning against the wall, looking at me with a half smile but not a smile: "Who is so courteous? Sending you flowers early in the morning of Chinese New Year?"

Xia Huixi smiled, put the flowers on the table, stepped back and looked at them carefully, and sighed, "Blue iris, a very cool flower."

It is the iris, a big bunch, looking from a distance, it seems to be condensed into a lake, glistening and barking.Looking closer, those flowers are like butterflies with dew on their wings, about to spread their wings and fly.

She thought of the big bunch of irises in the upper part of the picture, and wondered curiously, what kind of story is there between that person and this flower?

Both of them looked at the bouquet of flowers silently, and neither of them spoke for a while.

In the end, it was Su Ruhao who broke the silence and picked up the little card from among the bouquets.Because of a light touch, countless golden pollen and dewdrops are scattered, as if many crystals splashed on the ground, scattered all over the ground.

Xia Huixi glanced at the location and time written on the card, calculated it, and said in a low voice: "Next week." He handed the card to Su Ruhao for a look, raised his eyebrows and smiled, "I have an appointment for psychological counseling." Time, don't think too much."

He didn't look at it, and just threw her a sentence: "I don't worry about you going alone."

Xia Huixi followed him with a shameless face: "Why don't you follow me and wait for me outside for an hour?"

Su Ruhao stopped in amused manner, turned her head and held her face: "Do you think I'm already so idle? Just follow you as a bodyguard every day? Or do you want me to look for you again?"

Xia Huixi smiled sarcastically, and said helplessly, "Then what should I do?"

(End of this chapter)