Across the literary and art world

Chapter 382 Time for the Orientation Party ([-])

Before the chuckle on his face dissipated, Ying Hua continued to talk with a smile on his face.

"Today, what I want to tell you about is our present and past events. What does this mean? It doesn't mean much. I just want to say that this matter has existed from ancient times to the present. Of course This ancient word is considered strict and somewhat exaggerated, but it still exists for hundreds of years. When it comes to this, everyone probably wants to ask, what is it, it has existed from ancient times to the present, hundreds of years, it is a bit exaggerated. Make a guarantee for the first time, not exaggerating, not exaggerating at all, then what is this about, it is the name that was reported when the host announced the curtain just now, quitting alcohol, this is the matter, the name is naturally the name, It's worthy of the name."

Ying Hua's voice at the moment is quite different from usual. At the beginning, he still had some usual speaking taste, but now he seems to be a different person. Just listening to the non-stop content of the voice makes people unable to control their laughter. of desire.Coke also requires level and skill!
Ying Hua, who just explained that he was talking about stand-up comedy, did not pretend to pause between the explanation of the content below. Although there was a pause of a few seconds, it was absolutely consistent with the introduction of the content, which was very natural.But after these words, Ying Hua deliberately paused.

For more than ten seconds, following the expression of the last sentence just now, he kept smiling. Although it was not artificial and the time was short, it was real.Before getting into the main topic, make a preview, and then take a little time to tantalize people's appetite. This is a small trick that Ying Hua deliberately uses.This was researched by Ying Hua in front of the computer video in the past two days. As for Lin Feng, it has nothing to do with it. After all, Lin Feng just gave a manuscript, took time to listen to Ying Hua a few times, and corrected some of the overall tone. Lin Feng really ignored the details.He really didn't know, although he said that the things of the past life imprinted in his mind were complete, but that's not what he said after all.What is in your head is not necessarily your own.

"Walking east and west on North and South Streets, people bit dogs on the cross streets, picked up dogs to chop bricks, and bricks bit his hand. There was an old man who was only nineteen, and he drank lotus root in his mouth while drinking wine. He had never seen such a thing since he was a child. Wheels pull the train."

With a smile on his face, after a pause, Ying Hua put away the smile on his face, and started the text with the righteousness of the cross talk.Not to mention, the opening doggerel is quite impressive.

"Hey! Do you listen to the rhetoric?!" After the doggerel finished speaking, Ying Hua asked something to interact with the venue following the joke.The voice and appearance are still the positive colors in cross talk.

"It's not like...it's not like..."

"Not like..."

……

Under the stage, in a crowded place, I don't know if someone has arranged childcare in advance, or if they really want to agree, anyway, following Ying Hua's question, the audience is very lively.

In ancient times, there was a saying for the king to report good news but not bad news. Of course, it is also an act.As for why this is so, the reason is very simple. People like to eat sweets, but no one likes to eat bitter things.Even if there was a Goujian in history who was trying his best, but he did it for the sake of better eating sweets in the future. After Wu Fuguo was destroyed, he was more able to enjoy himself.Happy and sad, spread more, in the words, there are good words, there are bad words, flattering words, and harsh words.Not many like it if it is harsh.

Ying Hua is also human, so naturally.The response from the audience, although dispensable in cross talk, is better than nothing, and the speaker is also happy, the smile on Ying Hua's face is as shy as a flower.

"Today, in the stand-up comedy I told everyone, there is such an outrageous person in it." Regardless of whether the flowers bloom or fail, the key is the matter in front of him. The meat squeezed his brain down, so he forcibly put away the expression on his face, and after returning to the positive color in the cross talk just now, he continued talking.

"What exactly is this? By the way, there is such a rich man with a wealth of wealth, and he is also one of the best in the capital city. This old man has two sons. The eldest son is very calm and calm no matter what he does, and he is very personable. He is very capable. What about the second child? He is not bad, but he has a small problem and likes to drink a little wine. How good is he? He hangs a wine gourd on the head of the bed, and opens the gourd when he wakes up at night After drinking a few sips, he doesn’t go to the toilet well, so put a wine jar at the door of the toilet, and he has to drink a few sips after going to the toilet!”

As he said that, Ying Hua changed his left hand, which had been in front of him just now, into a right hand, and made a few small movements, some exaggerated but absolutely true jokes, coupled with his "yin and yang weirdness" voice, coupled with his lively and vivid slightly exaggerated The small movements, the laughter on the playground is like a pot of boiling water, with bubbles popping up from time to time, and then spreading quickly, and at the same time accumulating upwards.One by one, it spread throughout the playground, and then rushed into the sky.

"That's it. He drinks every day and gets drunk every day. Look at this kind of life, besides being drunk, he is drinking. It's very fulfilling!" Ying Hua continued when the laughter subsided slightly.This sentence, which belongs to a paragraph summary, was originally not that long, but it was originally, when Lin Feng carried it from that world, he still removed a lot and added a lot.A sentence like this was added, but Lin Feng took down the issue of time at the beginning of the text. After all, there was no Qing Dynasty in this world.To create a Qing Dynasty in this world without a Qing Dynasty is to create something out of nothing.Creating something out of nothing is a very good skill in money, but it is not very good in life. In this category, she belongs to lies, and lies are more labor-intensive than the sequence of computer components. There are countless lies to fulfill, this is not an easy job.Therefore, Lin Feng still filtered and processed these transported works through his own filter.

"Finally one day, the old man was dying. He was seriously ill and was about to die. He called the two sons to him, ordered the funeral, left the eldest son alone, and said to the boss: "I'm about to die. , My biggest wish at the end of my life is to ask your brother to quit drinking. Even if our family has tens of thousands of dollars, we can't afford his way of drinking! "" After a slight pause, Ying Hua started the next round of content. When the old man told his eldest son on his deathbed, that sound was full of emotions, and it felt soul-stirring. Although It still focuses on the biggest role of cross talk, but after all, it still pays tribute to a lot of things.

After finishing singing with deep meaning, Ying Hua paused slightly amidst the ensuing laughter and applause, and continued to speak.

"The boss nodded and said yes. The old man died after he finished speaking. The two sons finished the old man's affairs, and the boss started to stop drinking for his brother. How to stop drinking? This is a problem, and it is still a big problem. As we all know, addiction , but it’s the most important thing to deal with. So the boss thinks a lot, asks this, asks that, but before the idea comes out, this matter has already been known to everyone, and it’s still the focus of attention Level. If you use it now, people all over the world know about it and pay attention to it.”

Some words added by Lin Feng that fit the current language, and the tone and way of speaking of the current cross talk, and spoken through Ying Hua's mouth, there were extra smiles for several minutes, and the mouth was a bit forgetful.Not too funny, but too speechless.Once this level is raised to the world level, it is completely extraordinary.

"As the saying goes, good things don't go out, and bad things spread thousands of miles. This sentence may be right, right or wrong is beyond the scope of my discussion, let's take it as right for the time being. Why do I specifically say this sentence to a certain extent? If there is no connection in the Internet, because it is related. What is the level of a bad thing? It must not be a good thing, it must be a dangerous thing, and it is well known that the dangerous things generally have high profits, everyone. I want to discuss a few words, and I want to share some of it. Please note that I am not promoting some extremely bad cultural concepts, I am just talking about cross talk, and everyone laughed, but it has nothing to do with me .”

"Haha..." Wow...

There was another burst of good-natured laughter and applause, and Lin Feng in the background couldn't help nodding his head, which was considered a pass.

"Someone may ask again, is the high profit related to this matter? The answer is of course yes. Is it a good thing or a bad thing for the boss to help the second child quit drinking? The answer is also yes, this is the younger brother. Family scandal level is naturally considered a bad thing, and this bad thing spreads thousands of miles, no matter it is real profit, or illusory but existing profit, everyone wants to make some, so naturally it will spread, to see if others can learn from it. Get some ideas of your own from the inspiration. Other people's inspirations, your own ideas, you say people's logic, one is more weird than the other."

Apart from bantering, Ying Hua didn't set aside time to make the people on the playground laugh and applaud, the Coke ones were in the back, and they came directly to have a good laugh.Ying Hua waved his hands in front of his chest like a band conductor, shook his sleeves, and continued talking.Looking at his posture, if the staff had prepared a gavel on the table in front of him, he was going to take a few shots.

"So, when this story spread all over the world, someone soon told the boss that the second brother had run into a drunkard! We had to ask an old mage to do exorcism, and the boss believed it, and asked me to say, this Even if you are in a hurry and go to the doctor randomly, can this be solved by the old mage, at least you have to ask the old mage. Some people may ask, what is this old mage, the senior of the old mage. At this point, someone may ask Yes, the old mage is old, is the old mage still there, this is very simple, the senior is not necessarily the age, but also the grief and anger."

Wow... "Haha..."

There was another round of applause and laughter under the stage.

"Let's gossip, let's get back to business. With an idea in hand, it's natural to start taking action. So the boss spent a lot of money to hire a group of mages. I didn't realize that this group of people was a group of two swords. They read the book" "Grape Sutra". Who asked what is "Grape Sutra"? In fact, it is the one who practiced basic exercises in the cross talk world, 'If you eat grapes, you don't spit out the grape skins, and if you don't eat grapes, you spit out the grape skins'!" Ying Hua said. The chanting started, which caused another burst of laughter and applause.

"Actually, they didn't even know what they were talking about! That's it, the exorcism failed, so I asked the boss to throw those people out. If there is a family with a wealth of ten thousand, everyone wants it. This is really good. This is a ridiculous thing among bad things, and it has been spread for a long time, and those who want to take advantage of it are one after another. As soon as the old mages went out, someone said that the second child was a wine bug and had to be exposed Liquor bugs. It was dog days at that time. Comrades, I hung up a big living person with a rope to dry. Can I bear it? I definitely can’t bear it. Blood, sweat, but not tears. There is another sentence later, blood, tears, but not sweat It's just that, no matter what I can't stand it, the boss is really cruel. It still doesn't work. It's nothing. It's not enough, the water in the body is almost dry, and there is only wine left, so I can't continue The boss is afraid that the second child will spontaneously combust."

Ying Hua grinned, gestured with both hands, and uttered words clearly, but they should be long, short, loud, and low.It caused continuous laughter from below. As for the applause, Ying Hua didn't stop, because it was hard for him to start, so he didn't get up.

After a slight pause, Ying Hua continued to speak, turning his body slightly, and pointing his head to the left with his left hand.What Lin Feng occasionally mentioned to him, saying that on the cross talk stage, don't give the audience positive words, was well implemented by him.

"Why don't you say it? The boss is smart. He asked someone to find a big big tank, and this guy asked what is a big big tank? A big big tank was a big water tank that could only be moved by five or six strong men in the early years. What are you doing with such a big water tank? Don’t worry, listen to me slowly, the tank can have things in it. The boss didn’t do anything else with this big tank, he just filled it with a full tank to age Good wine, the kind of good wine that can be fragrant for ten miles with a drop of wine, a big tank full. That person may have to ask, why is he packing wine, no matter whether he asks, let his old brother drink? Of course No, the boss is very determined to help the second child quit drinking. Then why the boss is like this, you can understand what the boss has done. After he packed the wine, he threw the second child in it. It's amazing, a big tank full of wine, if someone gets in, the water will overflow when it's full, and the wine is the same, as soon as the second child goes into the tank, he finds that there are more of him in the tank, and the wine in the tank starts to flow out Flow. God knows, what the second child thought, maybe because he regarded the wine in the vat as his own. When he saw the wine began to overflow, he got anxious and hurriedly drank it. What he drank was called a swallow. Like how Ba Jie tastes ginseng fruit, it is estimated that his taste does not taste much."

Ying Hua spoke for a long time in one go, and finally paused, giving the suffocated applause a chance to breathe.

After a slight pause to allow the applause to erupt, Ying Hua turned to the right, aimed at the microphone, and continued speaking.

"Boss took a look, good guy, my second child really saves me trouble, and I don't have to clean up the drinks in the yard for a while. However, helping the boss' second child did not make the boss too happy. My point is It’s not easy. Seeing this scene, I originally wanted to ask the second brother whether he should correct it or not, so he didn’t ask. He just got a big grinding disc to cover the mouth, and then posted it Put a seal on it, and the seal reads: "Brother, the seal is only for abstaining from drinking, and he deserves to be drunk if he seals the wine tank." Look at others, they use official methods to seal them, and use the words in the Buddhist seal Form, crossing the official and Buddhist paths. This is it. After the boss got the title, he left and was going to deal with it overnight. But what he didn't expect was that his behavior made the second brother very happy, and he could finally be big. After a meal, he drank in the tank and sang: "It doesn't matter if I'm drunk to death, I'll be buried next to the wine shop, smell the fragrance of this Daqu, I'm happy like a fairy"!"

Speaking of this, Ying Hua was unambiguous, and began to sing. Not to mention, Ying Hua's voice is not bad, and the laughter from the audience was mixed with a lot of applause.After singing, Ying Hua continued talking.Talk more vigorously, this is the end, he wants to finish well.

"Listen, it's not a bad word. But the second daughter-in-law can't sit still at home. If the head of the house is drunk to death, she can't survive! She ran to the side of the water tank overnight and knocked on the water tank. "Head of the house, are you okay?" The second child was happy when he heard his wife came, and sang with a bit of alcohol, "Hey, wife, you don't need to open the seal. If you still have a relationship with your husband and wife, give me I'll bring a pickle,' his wife let out a hey when she heard it, and said in anger or joy, why are you still drinking?"

Speaking of this, Ying Hua came out from behind the table, still in the position where he bowed when he first came out. it's over.

"Ha ha……"

In the audience, the smile that had been suppressed all the time because they wanted to hear what Yinghua was saying, finally let go. The smile was so joyful that my stomach hurt a little.Accompanied by this laughter, there was an extremely warm applause.Such a happy show was only rewarded with applause.

……

……

"Ha ha……"

On the other side of the theme stage, Cai Yu's undisguised and unaffected chuckle echoed. Her clear voice like a silver bell and her image when she just played "Ode to Joy" were completely different visually. It feels more unified, just now she just used the sound of the piano to hide her own laughter and joy.

Of course, she only seemed to be smiling lightly, like some people in the audience bent over while laughing, which was far away from her.

"Mr. Lin, is this passage written by that expert? Is it so funny?" Cai Yu didn't use this as an excuse to keep laughing, as if she didn't laugh. After laughing for a while, she restrained her face. smiled at Lin Feng.

　Five thousand.

　　Regarding the consequences of this hands-on adaptation, I am silent, silent, and continue to be silent...

　　Good night everyone!
　　
　
(End of this chapter)