Draw a circle in his paranoid heart

Chapter 209 But at the beginning, you don't want me

At this moment, Fu Shuang was in an abandoned playground in Jiangcheng. She was curled up and squatting, crying silently.

This is the place she has longed for since she was a child, but until it was abandoned, she never visited it once.

She doesn't understand what her parents think of herself, she just knows that they don't love her.

She was their helpless choice. The mother had lost several girls in front of her. When she was pregnant with her, the doctor said that her uterine wall was too thin, and if she had another miscarriage, there would be no more children.

They reluctantly kept her, and they were estranged and indifferent to her since childhood.

Since she was a child, her food and drink expenses have been deducted. She is the only child in the family, but she has not received any care.

When the father is drunk, he will beat the mother. It is useless to scold her, he will only give birth to a daughter.

When the mother got angry, she beat her and blamed her for being a girl.

She once suspected that she was a child picked up by them. She couldn't understand this family when she saw that the parents of her classmates were so kind to them.

If you don't understand this family, you don't understand them.

Don't even understand why I exist.

If it is not because of love, then what is my own existence?
Since she was a child, she has been extremely competitive, and her grades have always been among the best. The school teachers like her very much, and her classmates also admire her.

But what's the use of that, she is even more envious that they can get the favor of their parents.

Even if she took home countless papers with full marks, no matter how well she did and how many good grades she got, they never took a second look at her.

One or two of them blamed her.

But what did she do wrong?

She successfully completed high school with the support from the village, and she saved the tuition and living expenses of the university bit by bit.

For a long time, she only ate one meal a day, because she didn't have time, and she had to do a lot of part-time jobs, go from place to place, do tutoring, and do odd jobs.

Her life is so busy that she can only feel relieved when she sees the numbers on her card increase little by little.

She had long since hoped that they would remember her. In that home where she could only sleep in the utility room, she lived without dignity.

But she wanted to live for herself, not to please them, not to look at their faces.

When telling them the decision to transfer schools, they scolded themselves hysterically. They said she was a white-eyed wolf, that she didn't want this family anymore, wanted to fly far away, and didn't want to care about them anymore.

Fu Shuang listened to them quietly, and then smiled wryly after a long time. The person on the other end was stimulated by her laughter, and the words she uttered were even more ugly.

Looking at the completely deserted playground, she seemed to see herself standing outside the playground when she was a child.

She had been looking forward to the family affection for so many years, but she couldn't get it after all.

Just like when she was very young, she wanted to ride a merry-go-round like her peers, which was wishful thinking.

She kept the phone away from her ear and kept murmuring, "But in the beginning, it was you who didn't want me."

They didn't want her, and she knew that very, very early on.

When was it early? Probably when I was still a child, I broke a bowl at home and was punished to kneel all night.

Every brick in the house is more important than her.

No matter how well she did, no matter how much she did, it was only their last choice.

She endured her father's disapproval and her mother's resentment, and it just passed 21 years.

Now that redemption has finally appeared in her world, she desperately wants to catch her, fearing that she will easily disappear again.

She didn't want to be disappointed again.

Fortunately, she won't, Lin Qingqing won't.

The phone was hung up at some point, she watched the light of the phone finally disappear, the surrounding was quiet, there was no sound.

Her legs were already numb from squatting, and it took her a long time to stand up and walk out step by step.

This place carries all her childhood expectations, and now, her own expectations are like this place, deserted and lonely.

From now on, she will only be Fu Shuang, not the money-losing product that her parents said, and not the good girl that others said.

She always has to live for herself.

The transfer procedures have been completed, BJ's school is arranged by Lu Chen, he has always done things properly, Fu Shuang trusts him.

She doesn't have a lot of luggage, but she has a lot of painting tools, and she plans to send some over there first, so as not to be difficult to carry when she gets it.

Because she hadn't gone there to go through the enrollment procedures, she filled in Lin Qingqing's address, and she sent her a message to ask her to sign for it.

Lin Qingqing agreed to everything, but was worried about her emotions.

She seemed to have recovered a bit, and chatting was the same as usual, Lin Weiwei knew her character, and when she didn't want to talk, she didn't have to ask too much.

She is used to suppressing herself, she has her own inner world, as long as she guards her fragility well, it will be fine.

She believes that Fu Shuang will become stronger and stronger in the future, and she will put a thick protective cover on her heart, making her invincible.

She is so good, she must be able to.

Before going to sleep, Lin Qingqing sent her a message.

"Tomorrow will be a new day when you wake up, Shuangshuang, let's work hard!"

She was very considerate and didn't mention her sadness, but just cheered her up.

Fu Shuangtong looked at the message with red eyes, but couldn't click it.

How lucky a person like me was to meet her.

She seemed to have harvested all the good luck in the world, but Fu Shuang knew very well that she deserved all of this.

The dormitory was very quiet, and none of the other roommates came back. She nestled in her small corner, weeping quietly.

She has never wanted to change so strongly like this moment.

She was afraid that she was not worthy of her kindness, she was afraid that she was not worthy, and she was afraid that she would fail her.

Such a good Lin Qingqing, how can I repay her.

It's not that she hasn't longed for friendship in the previous 21 years, but the person who once let her confide in her heart turned her into a joke.

Lin Qingwei is her salvation, the only light in her dark world.

She desperately wanted to grab her, but was worried that if she grasped too tightly, she would lose it.

Maybe it's because I've never owned it before, and I really got it at this moment, but I'm worried about gains and losses.

Fu Shuang thought, she was really disappointing.

She stayed up all night, and waited for dawn with her eyes open. When the campus returned to life, she packed herself as fast as she could, and went to the studio to pack her things.

She went to the school's courier station to send a courier, and sent all the packed painting tools there. It was not until she filled in BJ's address on the courier slip that she felt a sense of reality.

She is really going to leave, and she may not come back for a long time in the future.

There was nothing left for her to miss in this place.

Next year, Lu Zhixing will also pass the BJ test, and the three of them can be together again.

God gave her this luck, and she will definitely seize it.

(End of this chapter)