exclusive ex-wife

Chapter 540 Desperately loved him, fell in love with you in a dazeBy Jane
Desperately loved him, fell in love with you in a daze By Jane
I thought it was just when I showed up that you and her were saying goodbye.

I thought that you no longer expected her, and would not allow her to hurt you again.

……

I thought my tenderness could give you the whole universe

I thought I could do my best to fill the gap in your feelings

I will concentrate on being by your side and make up for all her mistakes

Maybe I'm too naive to think a miracle will happen

……

When I heard this song, it was the spring of the second year after I divorced Yingwidow. He called and told me that they met and decided to start over.

I calmly wished their love, cut off the phone lightly, and went back to the conference room to continue the meeting.

One of the top executives attending the meeting was a Chinese woman, and her mobile phone rang so abruptly in the quiet conference room, lingering in everyone's ears.

It turns out that you have already thought about who you want to stay with

I thought I was strong enough, but lost so hopelessly

Give me less hope, hope is not luxury

……

When the ringtone dissipated, everyone in the conference room looked at me with stunned eyes.

I saw a tear-filled face in Hang Hang's worried eyes.

And myself, I didn't notice it.

……

When my parents disagreed with her marrying him, I never cried. The seven years of married life that respect each other like ice never made me cry. Even the divorce that I voluntarily mentioned two years ago, I only cried that once. , Since then, there have been no more tears to speak of.

This has been divorced for two years, why am I still crying!
He finally found the happiness he wanted, I should bless him, shouldn't I!

It's just that he is happy, so what should I do if I support these two big families alone.

There was a dinner party that night, I could go or not, I went anyway, I couldn't avoid being teased and drunk by those men.

I am already the most powerful, richest, and youngest woman in France. Naturally, some men are afraid of me, and some men want to get close to me with malicious intentions.

It wasn't until nine o'clock, and I was completely drunk. I usually still have this amount of alcohol, but I don't know what happened today, so I got drunk.

I came out of the bathroom and fell into someone's arms. I looked up and saw a familiar face in a daze. It seemed to be my ex-husband, but the voice in my ear was not.

The voice is like Hang Hang, "You are drunk, I will take you back."

It didn't seem to be him who was driving, because I was leaning in his arms all the time, and I couldn't even stand still, so I was half-carried into the car by him.

Severe dizziness, unreasonable grievance and depression in my heart, I am not a woman who cannot afford to lose, nor a woman who cannot let go, but just looking at his happiness, without my share, I still feel very uncomfortable.

Instead of warming his heart, I spent seven years cooling my heart. I transformed myself from a princess loved by my parents to a strong woman whom everyone fears. .

I bravely let him go, bravely support the family business alone, who would know that I will be tired, feel bitter, and want to have someone to rely on.

Sometimes I also think hypocritically, why the person I love can't love me, give me a safe haven, and only let me be a good wife and mother, instead of playing intrigues with these men in the mall.

That night I lay in his arms and wept uncontrollably, as if I wanted to cry out all the grievances and sorrows of the past ten years to him.

……

When I woke up the next day, I was not at my own home, but at Hang Hang’s.

Eyes hurt, and the clothes are still yesterday's clothes, but they are already dirty and unsightly, and there is no tidiness at all.

Hang Hang was holding a glass of freshly squeezed juice, the moment he saw him, all the things that happened last night flashed in my mind; I felt ashamed, embarrassed and at a loss.

He wanted to flee in a panic, but when he reached the door, he grabbed his wrist.

"Let go!" I turned my back to him, not even daring to turn my head, it was too embarrassing.I actually mistaken him for a widow and said something that shouldn't be said.

If you talk too much after drinking, you will lose if you talk too much.

He held my hand tightly and didn't speak.

"No matter what I said last night, please forget it!" I uttered awkwardly, the past was like dust in the sun rolling fiercely, and the scenes flooded into my heart, the heartache was terribly painful.

"If you want to cry, my chest will always lean on you. If you want to say something, my ears will always listen to you. If you don't want me to remember, I will forget."

His voice came from behind in a low voice, and his breath was particularly close, "I just hope you don't hold on to everything, sometimes a woman should behave like a woman, don't live like a man, it's too tiring. "

I looked back at him, and caught a faint wave in his eyes, what is it?
Distressed, or pitiful?
Throwing off his hand, he said in a trembling and harsh voice: "What qualifications do you have to say these things to me? And why do you look at me with sympathy? I, Jane Lancelot, never needed others to sympathize with me! Even if Jane So what if Yao is a test-tube baby? He is the child of Yingwid and me after all, so what if Yingwid doesn’t love me? He and I have been husband and wife for seven years, and I was his wife...I owned him for seven years, I……"

I couldn't go on, I choked up inexplicably.

Seven years of marriage, no love and no sex, I have never experienced love between men and women, but I am already a mother.

In order to overthrow Mrs. Hong overwhelmingly, Yingwid and I must have a child, a child with my and his blood flowing through his body; but he couldn't do it, and he didn't respond to me.

To be precise, he couldn't do it with any woman except her.

We tried many things, blindfolded, drinking alcohol, etc., but nothing worked.It is impossible for him to rely on drugs, that would be a humiliation to him, and even more so to me.

In the end, there was really no other way, he said forget it, it’s okay to have no children, but it will take two more years.

I don't want to wait, and I don't want to give up.

I am his wife, I want to bear children for him, I want to be a woman, a mother; in desperation, I propose the method of test-tube baby!
At first he disagreed, he said: This is too unfair to you!I feel sorry for you!

I am so stubborn, I am not afraid of being wronged, I am not afraid of suffering, I am just afraid that from the beginning to the end of this marriage, I have nothing.

Perhaps from the moment I started trading a ten-year marriage, I knew that I was destined not to win this man's heart in this life, and if I couldn't keep him, then at least I would leave something about him to me.

In the end he compromised and agreed to me.

I asked my mother to try to invite Mrs. Hong to go abroad for a while, and give time for me and the widow Ying to do this.

When Mrs. Hong came back, there was the fact that I was pregnant.

In Yingdow's view, Jian Yao's appearance may be just to bring down Mrs. Hong; to me, this is the best and most precious gift he gave me.

Without Jian Yao, how could I be willing to let him go easily!
It’s just seven years of marriage in name only, which is a disease in my heart after all. If people know that the earl has never touched me and gave birth to Jian Yao, but I am still a woman who has never experienced love affairs, I will be the whole France, and even the whole world. The laughing stock of the world.

His gaze deepened, and he stretched out his hand to grab my shoulder with great force. I broke free and didn't look at it. I really didn't want to lose my composure in front of him, but last night and now, I made a big joke in his eyes.

"How could I sympathize with you?" His voice was inexplicably difficult, and there were many things in his eyes that I couldn't understand. "How could I sympathize with you..."

Before he finished speaking, he hugged me tightly.

The tears in my eyes are blurred, and the pain in my heart gradually fades because of the passage of time. On the contrary, as time goes by, the wound becomes bigger and bigger, and it becomes more and more empty. I am tormented day and night. Only when I see Jian Yao, can I realize that A precious joy.

He didn't say anything, I was hugged tightly by him, only shallow breathing and his beating heartbeat remained in the quiet space...

In the sound of his fiery heartbeat, I seemed to realize something, but I couldn't believe it.

Because I never thought about it, and I dare not think about it.

——He has feelings for me.

====================== Finally ask for the dividing line of the recommendation ticket ======================
After that day, we tacitly acted as if nothing had happened, and we continued to work and live as usual; only the occasional and unintentional collision of eyes made me flustered, for fear that he would say something to me at any time, which I would find it difficult to respond to. It was because I felt that something was wrong, and I was acting affectionately.

I have known him for many years, the British widows regard him as a brother, and I regard him as an elder brother.

He is a good helper at work, because with him staying in Paris to help, many things can be solved smoothly. He is also a good friend in life, and he is very good to me and Jian Yao.

I never thought about what would happen with him. In my heart, apart from the widow Ying and Jian Yao, I couldn’t let go of anyone or anything. I was afraid of changing the status quo, afraid of something that shouldn’t happen, which made our relationship difficult. Get mysterious and mysterious.

In addition to the tacit understanding at work, I no longer dare to rely on him in life, and I use the assistants I trained more.

Many times he looked at me with complicated and obscure eyes, hesitated to speak, I pretended not to know, and lived in a daze.

Life is long, it is better to be confused than to live soberly.

Jian Yao is young, but smart and sensitive, aware of the subtle changes between him and me; he actually asked Hang Hang in front of my face: Uncle Hang, did you quarrel with my mother?Do not know let let my mother?How else can I do this..."

I quickly covered Jian Yao's mouth, seeing Hang Hang's astonished expression for a few seconds, I was so embarrassed that I scolded Jian Yao for the first time.

Jian Yao was naturally unhappy, and ran upstairs sullenly, leaving him and me alone, and the atmosphere was even more embarrassing.

I don't know how Jian Yao knows, he is still so young; I don't know how to explain it to him.

If I were someone else, I would definitely be able to talk openly and honestly, but because of him alone, I don't know what attitude and tone I should use to bring this up.

"Is this why you dodged from me during this time?" He was the first to break the silence.

"Children's words are not taboo, Jian Yao is talking nonsense..."

"Jian Yao is not talking nonsense." He interrupted my words, I was stunned for a few seconds, and when I looked up to see his gloomy expression, I felt inexplicably sad.

He said: "Everyone knows Sima Zhaozhi's heart for you, even Jian Yao can see it at such a young age, but you haven't realized it for many years, that's right, the person you love is the Earl, how could you see me. Now that you have noticed it, I don’t want to deny it, so why not tell me frankly.”

He said: "You don't have to be troubled. I know I'm not good enough for you. I never expected to have a chance to start with you. The biggest wish in this life is to guard your mother and son and not be bullied. If I give If you cause trouble, I can be transferred to another branch, and if it is not necessary, I will not meet..."

Everyone knows Sima Zhaozhi's heart about you, even Jian Yao can see it, but I have been confused for so many years, and I didn't realize it.

I thought he stayed in Paris to protect the Louis family and Jane Yao for the British widows; I never thought that the biggest reason for his staying was me.

He said a lot that day, but my mind was completely blank, I didn't know what to do, and I didn't even know when he left.

When I came back to my senses, I called Yingwid, regardless of the time difference or not, I asked sullenly when I opened my mouth: "Did you already know..."

I was stunned for a long time, and I probably realized what I said, and said "En".

I was even more annoyed, and couldn't help raising the decibel: "Louis Yingzhi, are you going too far? What do you mean? What do you think of me..."

Knowing his heart, but still keeping him by my side, what is my desire!

Before I finished speaking, Louis Ying's deep voice interrupted me: "Jane, he is my entourage, but he is also my brother; and you are the mother of my child, even if you have been married for seven years without love , but they are already relatives; whether it is him or you, I hope you can be happy. What's more, he has his freedom and choice, staying in Paris is his choice, and I respect it."

I am speechless.

The widow is right, he has his freedom and choice, the widow cannot interfere, and I have no right to interfere.

Why should I blame Yingwidd and blame Yingwidd for my own insensitivity, I have not noticed his heart for so many years, but even if I did, so what?
In my heart, there is no him after all.

On the phone, Yingzhi asked me whether it was my feelings for him that I couldn't let go of, or the years and years that I couldn't let go of.

I didn't have an answer, so I panicked for a moment and cut off the phone in a hurry.

……

After that day, he really transferred to the branch office. Since then, I have withdrawn from my life, my life, there is no need to meet each other, and I don’t even need to talk on the phone; his assistant will contact my assistant for everything.

He does not appear in front of my eyes, but I find that he is always by my side, because I can easily think of him.

My assistant is loyal and capable, but compared to him, he is not smooth enough to deal with things, and not calm and calm when encountering problems; I have received a lot of care from him in my life before, but now without him, I have no one to prepare for me carefully. There are also no nutritious biscuits that can fill my stomach when I am hungry; no one reminds me to call Jian Yao when I work overtime late at night; it is cold, and no one always prepares a piece of warm clothing for me.

Every time I come to this point, I will unexpectedly think of "It would be great to have him by my side!" I pick up the phone and want to call him, but I am afraid that I will not be able to respond to his feelings, so I put down the phone.

The days went on like this, and it was a year in a blink of an eye.

At the year-end company annual meeting, he did not attend the company's annual meeting because he was not feeling well; I was alone facing the staggered toast and light, perfunctory greetings, and felt lonely standing in the crowd.

In the noisy crowd, I don't know who is talking about him, and my ears can't help but listen to the conversation.

It was said that there was a female manager in his branch company who fell in love with him at first sight, and she stalked him for a long time, and she got very close recently, and the two of them didn't come today, probably because they lived together in a two-person world.

I heard these words in my ears and put them in my heart, I don't know what it feels like.

Should he breathe a sigh of relief and bless him, or just let go after years of entangled feelings, how can he be so free and easy.

Before the banquet was over, I found an excuse to leave, leaving behind so many people, I just wanted to be alone and have a good time.

The annual meeting was at Christmas, so I thought I couldn't accompany Jian Yao, so I didn't let Ying widow make this trip, and let Jian Yao go to Xixun, because he also wanted to see Sijun.

The servants were on vacation, and I was left alone, guarding the huge villa, guarding the loneliness of this room, lingering.

That night I drank the wine in the wine cabinet alone, and passed out on the sofa all night.

Thinking of the past and the present, I feel sad in my heart. I want a home, a shoulder, and Jian Yao to grow up quickly so that I can retire. It's too tiring for a woman to support these.

It turned out that I was not as strong as I thought.

The servant came back the next day and found me drunk and unconscious on the sofa. She was frightened and rushed me to the hospital.

I was in a coma in the hospital for two days, and my parents came and went, and came and went; the media was stalking and trying to press my drunkenness into the shadow of divorce.

The widow Ying called to care, I feel a little sorry, and asked him to hide the matter from Jian Yao, don't let him go back to Paris for the time being, and wait until everything is calm!

Before cutting off the phone, Yingwidow sighed on the phone: Why do you torture yourself like this, and torture him.

I sneered in my heart, when did I ever torture myself and him, when I was tossing and turning in the gentle village now, never had I ever been tortured!
The alcohol hadn't dissipated, and he didn't realize how sour his tone was.

Sleeping for half a day, the silhouette that came into view when I woke up made me feel like a dream, and my deep eyes were full of worries and emotions that I couldn't understand. He said, "Why don't you take good care of yourself?"

I replied calmly: "I've been living by the rules, and if I want to mess around for a while, I forget that I'm old."

He looked at me with complicated eyes for a long time, without saying a word.

I glanced at his fingers subconsciously. The nails were round and neatly trimmed. There were no ornaments on his white fingers, and he looked much thinner than a year ago.

Say I don't take good care of myself, that person doesn't take good care of you either!
"When will the wedding be held, even if I'm not there, the check will arrive."

He frowned and asked, "What happy event?"

I didn't say a word, he thought that if he didn't tell me about such a thing, I wouldn't know?

After a while, he seemed to think of something, cleared his throat, and explained: "It's just some crazy talk, why take it seriously."

I don't know where the anger comes from, and my words are all yin and yang: "It's not without reason."

He seemed to be irritated by me, and stared at me, "I know I'm not good enough for you, so I don't think so, why are you so aggressive!"

The unprovoked anger spread in the chest, burning a source of prairie fire, "You try to despise yourself like this again?!"

He despised himself so much a year ago, and he is still the same a year later. Does he know that I have always respected him from the bottom of my heart?

He froze for a moment, probably not expecting me to get angry about such a thing, his tense jaw slowly relaxed, and his voice softened a lot, "Don't be angry, it hurts your body; I just don't say anything!"

I took a deep breath, glanced at the kettle next to me, and licked my dry lips: "I'm thirsty."

He carefully helped me to do it, and poured water for me. There was still a needle in his hand, so he was afraid of touching it, so he specially held a cup to feed me water.

After drinking a glass of water, he asked, "Do you want more?"

I shook my head.

He put down his cup, sat by the bed in silence for a long time, and said hesitantly, "Can I...can I stay by your side to take care of your mother and child?"

My heart suddenly tugged, and I looked at him, "I never drove you away."

There was light in his dim eyes, he looked at me and smiled faintly.

============================================================================================================== =
No commitment, no start, he just stayed in Paris and never left.

The days went on as before, just like before.

Jian Yao looked happy when he came back to see him. He once told me: Mom, Dad has Aunt Lan, and you must have Uncle Hang so that you can be happy and live a good life!

I don't know how he understands the five words "live a good life" at his age, but I can feel that he is growing up day by day, becoming sensible day by day, and occasionally being naughty and noisy, but enough is enough.

He didn't dislike Hang Hang, and he could accept it very well. I wondered if the widow Ying said something in front of him. After thinking about it, it was unlikely. Ying widow's character is not such a meddlesome person!

As for the matter between me and him, whether it is not as anyone expected, he is still the same him, I am still the same me, even if there is a little bit of sympathy, whether there is any emotion in it, I don't know!
The two got closer, worked together, met occasionally during holidays, or accompanied Jian Yao to participate in school activities; some media picked up on the rumors and exaggerated, and there were some rumors about the company.

Some people scolded me for being unwilling to be lonely, some scolded him for wanting to use a woman to get ahead, there were all kinds of ugly words, he may not have heard it, or he may have heard it, after all, even I have heard it.

He remained indifferent, working as usual, doing what he should do.

One time I couldn't help asking him: "Aren't you angry?"

He froze for a few seconds, then he realized that he could still laugh: "What's the point of being angry? They're not me, how can they understand me! It's not worth it to be angry with people who don't understand me."

I stared at him for a long time. This man is extremely fierce when facing the enemy, but has such an open-minded attitude when facing life. What kind of wisdom and mind does he possess!

Seeing that I had nothing to say, he turned to leave.

A question that has been hidden in my heart for a long time, I couldn't help blurting out at this moment: "Love me, aren't you afraid?"

Those gossips, those people's words are terrifying, enough to kill people invisible.

He turned his back to me, his back froze obviously, he turned to look at me in silence, his eyes were full of sunshine, dazzling, "I'm just afraid you're having a bad life."

I'm just afraid that your life is not good, but a simple sentence broke all the defenses in my heart. No one has ever said such a thing to me for so many years.

What they saw was that I possessed incomparable wealth and supreme rights, and they never thought about whether I would be happy or happy like this.

Only this man in front of me is worried about my poor life.

All kinds of things in the past are vivid in my mind. After experiencing a failed love and failed marriage, I don't know if I still have the ability to love.

I got up and walked in front of him, mustered up all my courage, and took the initiative to say: "Hang Hang, love is courage, and being loved is a blessing. I used to have the courage to love, but now I selfishly want to be a blessed woman. You Will you make me a blessed woman?"

He was stunned for a long time, and when he came back to his senses, his eyes were red, and he hugged me tightly, as if he wanted to hug me into his body, "This is my blessing!"

The hands hanging by his sides hesitated for a long time, and slowly hugged his waist, as if embracing a piece of sunshine.

I'm not young anymore, my heart has been wandering for too long, I'm too tired, I really want to settle down; I don't know whether I'm dependent on this man, or I'm used to it, or I have some affection, I just know that I want to stay By his side, I don't go anywhere, no one looks at me anymore, my eyes are tired, I just need to look at him.

Our start was uneventful, as usual, and we told Jian Yao.

He seemed calmer than we expected, apart from saying that he wanted Hang Hang to treat me well, he asked, when will he give birth to a younger sister!
It seems that it was because Sijun mentioned that Yingdao wanted a younger sister, but Lan Mufei didn't want to. After hearing this, Jian Yao also wanted a younger sister. Without coaxing my sister, Jian Yao put the idea of ​​wanting her on me and Hang Hang.

He even said that in order not to prevent me from falling in love with Hang Hang, I would go to live in Xixun for a year or so.

I know he wants to play in the past, no one cares about him, so naturally his wish will not be fulfilled.Jian Yao turned her gaze to Hang Hang, but Hang Hang pretended not to see it.

Jian Yao sighed helplessly: Both fathers are angry (wife) Guan Yan, why is my brother and I's lives so miserable...

Hang Hang and I were speechless and looked at each other in blank dismay.

========================================================================================== ======
The widow Ying called me and accidentally mentioned Hang Hang. He asked about our wedding date, but I couldn't answer.Hang Hang will not hide the fact that he wants to come to us.

It's just that I don't understand what the call is about.

He and Hang Hang have been dating for one year and three months, and they get along very well, as plain as water, with more than warmth, but they never mentioned the topic of marriage.

Is it he who wants to know whether I want to marry him through the mouth of the widow?
Even if there was a failed marriage, I don't have any shadows about marriage, especially if the object is still him, let alone.

It's just that I don't know what he thinks in his heart.

After the ups and downs that night, he hugged me and fell asleep, and I told him what the widow Ying mentioned on the phone.

He was stunned for a long time and refused to speak.

The bottom of my heart is inexplicably cold at the moment, although it is best for two people to be together sincerely, marriage is not that important; especially those who grew up in France disdain that piece of waste paper.

But marriage is the biggest promise a man can give a woman. Has he never thought of giving me such a promise?

I lifted the quilt, picked up the clothes on the ground, and put them on one by one. My heart trembled inexplicably, as if I was in an ice cave.

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Xinkeng: "Love is melting, President, you have to be good!" "Concluded article: "The President's Rich Ex-wife"

(End of this chapter)