the most beautiful time

Chapter 53 Whose life is sugar-coated (2)

She traveled all the way from the south for that pen meeting.And I also closely followed their whereabouts, walked through every street in Suzhou with them, and visited the calm and calm houses on it.Of course, online.Every place she has been to has been recorded with photos and words.The words are still slightly ostentatious, making me, who avoids it, feel more jealous every time I read a word.But in the radiant light and shadow, there are simple scenes, but there are no people I want to see.

And this is my deepest regret.

One afternoon a long time later, I accidentally visited the blog of a girl who also loves writing, and in a diary, I found a photo of that pen meeting.One of them, in the note below, has her name written on it.The girl in the photo is short, fat, and has sparse long hair. On her face, you can see clear freckles, smiling, and dodging the camera.Standing in the crowd, her humbleness is so distinct.

At that moment, I was hit by her who was far inferior to me.The inferiority complex that had been caused by her for a long time and had nowhere to escape suddenly turned into a puff of green smoke and dissipated.

I never thought that she was such an unbeautiful woman, and the gorgeous words in those diaries were just because she had a loneliness that was deeper and deeper than mine.We are the same cowardly women, hiding behind the words, can be enchanting and charming, but once the veil of the words is removed, the grass in the shade will slowly wither.

But in the end, from the sight of her bravely looking at the camera, I knew that I had lost to her again.

I often encounter people who leave anonymous comments on my own or outsiders' blogs.They are all messages, and they have no names or surnames. You have nowhere to find their footprints except for these few words on the boundless Internet.If there are no accidents, basically, you and this hidden messager are just a few words of fate.As for whether they leave you with lingering anger or long-term warmth, it depends on the person hidden behind the net. At that moment, the words written by hand are decided.

One situation is that the anonymous person really has no dealings with you at all, he is just a passer-by in your messy or prosperous private land.You and him neither had a bloody street fight on a certain forum because of a boring point of view, nor did you turn against each other and become enemies in order to protect your idol status.The short words he left on your blog, no matter if they are bad words or good words, are probably not too intense.At most, if you catch up with this person in a bad mood, and you happen to come across your "unpleasant" words, you can vent it and let it go.Such a message, because there is no grievance, the person who wrote it will probably forget it after a while, and, because of this venting, he will feel happy and refreshed.And the blogger who saw this remark knew it was the footprints of a boring person, so he smiled, or cursed "I'm sick!", and deleted it casually.And the appreciation that is as light as the fragrance of jasmine can be remembered for a long time.When I think of it in my spare time, I can still smell the fragrance in those few words.If such an anonymous person does not visit frequently, you will rarely think of him, and he will probably not remember you.Each other is just passing by in a hurry. On the complicated network, it doesn't matter who is with whom. Therefore, love and hate are as light as clouds of smoke. When a gust of wind comes, it will disperse.

But what I want to say is another situation.Most of these hermits have had a relationship with you, maybe you have forgotten it, but he remembers it wholeheartedly, and is always looking for opportunities to regain the face he lost in the past.Of course, he will not let you see his motives, nor will he easily reveal his identity. It just so happens that the Internet has given him such an excellent opportunity. Let it out in words.For this type of person, he will not just write it once, he will change different network addresses, or use different people's tone to harass you every now and then.You can neither have the magic of Monkey King to pull him out of the vast sea of ​​people, nor can you clearly find out who he is, you can only rely on guesswork, in his malicious messages again and again, depressed, angry , irritability, until it affected the originally simple and clear life.

Therefore, people who are a little bit famous on the Internet, for the sake of convenience, turn off the function of blog posting or commenting in a fit of anger, so that they don't have to worry about it anymore.There are also some, see one and delete one, so that they can't show their abilities.There are even more serious people who find the person they are guessing, leave messages on the other party's blog, and scold them back, until the fierce battle is escalated.

In fact, a person with a clear heart does not need to be so angry at all.Because those bad words, those who really hurt or leave marks should be the ones who harbor resentment.And if you ignore it, this kind of trace will be drawn deeper in that person's heart.It should be noted that resentment, hatred, resentment, and jealousy are all poisonous plants. If you do not give them the environment to grow, they will gradually wither; , is the deeper pain.Ignore them, let them grow secretly in the person who cultivated the seeds, until they are like crazy vines, entangled and suffocated him.And you, on the other side, watch, or turn around and forget them.

The person who sows the seeds may not understand that when he implants a piece of resentment into your field, the thorns that grow will one day scratch his own hand.He lived in a hatred for a long time, unable to get out, and finally, a heart, in the gloom, molded.

And the person who "turned a deaf ear" blossomed into a clear and pure white lotus in repeated boring slander.

Chinese people are delicious, probably because there is another kind of ups and downs in life at the dinner table. In it, you can see a person's cunning, shrewdness, impatience, selfishness, or vanity that is deliberately hidden on weekdays between the lips and teeth.

A man he knew well was a surgeon. He was rigorous and decisive on the operating table on weekdays.Moreover, he is an excellent employee selected every year by the unit. He has a forbearing and restrained personality, never competes with others, and has a good reputation.But I don't like to eat with people, saying that there are too many people talking and I can't eat well.At first I was puzzled, but later, after eating with him a few times because of the need to interview and write reports on his advanced deeds, I understood the inconvenient truth that he avoided.

Once we ate spicy fish in a restaurant, and everyone around shouted that it was cool and enjoyable, and we will definitely come here more often in the future.Only he, after eating without saying a word, arranged all the shark fins in an orderly manner.Everyone saw him looking at a spliced ​​fish seriously, and thought it was a professional habit of him to study the difference between animal bones and human beings, so they didn't bother him and let him concentrate on thinking.After a while, he suddenly slapped the table and shouted at the front desk: Waiter!I want to complain!A table full of guys, seeing his angry face, didn't know why.The waiter also came over in horror, thinking that he had eaten flies or bugs in the dishes, and he was mentally prepared to deal with the savage.

But he, as if at the operating table, looked calm and at ease.Pointing to the fish bones lined up on the table, he said, you have cheated the customers, the fish has lost two catties, you must have cut off part of the fish and made a new plate to make a profit .Everyone at the table was in an uproar, not knowing where his judgment came from.And he lightly pointed to the fish bone in front of him, and said, judging from the fish skeleton I put together, this is not a complete fish skeleton at all, and you obviously cut a part from the middle.

It was supposed to be his treat that time, but because of such an unexpected discovery, the good-tempered boss waived half of the fee.When I was leaving, I went to the bathroom, and I heard a waiter muttering in a low voice, saying: It should be written on the door that this surgeon is not allowed to enter. Last time, he was so fussy that it made people frightened. He just put the eaten crab into a complete shell , and then justly accused us that each crab lacked two legs, and we insisted that we charge him half of the fee.If anyone marries this man, he will probably analyze whether he has been touched by another man.

Later, I heard people talk about his private life, and he refused to let go of the small things like this.Once, because my wife received an ambiguous text message sent by mistake, I have been looking for the bottom line, together with the previous generations of scandals of the man who sent the text message by mistake, I wish I could investigate everything clearly.

This stubborn man who refuses to let go of himself and others reminds me of another woman I met.Every time there is a dinner party, she must be the protagonist at the banquet, toasting people, telling jokes about Coca-Cola, and taking care of everyone as if they are at home.During the whole dinner party, everyone's sights surrounded her tightly, and she was also in such a warm sight, like a spring breeze.And, don't miss any chance to show off yourself.It seems that this dinner party is held for her alone, and we are just the audience who listened attentively.

Everyone thought that she must be living in happiness, that's why she couldn't help posting her husband's achievements, children's intelligence, and in-laws' power.There are indeed many women who envy her perfect life and wish that the beaming and radiant heroine can be replaced by herself immediately.

Later, once by accident, after eating, I found that I forgot my bag in the restaurant, and I turned around to pick it up. At the entrance, I met her on the phone with my husband, almost begging in her tone, and said: Please Please, go home and stay for a day before leaving, okay?If you haven't seen each other for more than ten days, can you really let go of this family and your child without hesitation?As long as you come back, I won't care about your past with that woman; you can't let me tear up even the last disguise in front of my colleagues and friends...

She seemed to want to say something, but the other side hung up the phone.Wearing a mink coat worth tens of thousands of yuan, she ignored the dust on the ground and slowly squatted down, weeping silently.The wind blew up, entangled and rolled up the leaves and paper scraps, and then fell beside her with a splash, staining her expensive coat and delicate shoes.

It turned out that in front of everyone, she carefully built a fairytale-like resplendent castle, which she thought was impenetrable, but she just peeped around a corner, and saw the dilapidated interior.And her vanity is that seemingly dazzling and bright shell, or sugar coating, once it is removed, it will be a scar that refuses to be shown in the noise.

And how long do we hide our hearts in the endless boasting at the dinner table before we are willing to calm down and face up to the bloody or desolate life?

(End of this chapter)