the most beautiful time

Chapter 51 Who remembers the young Mo Xiang

I have not had the habit of reading at night with a book in hand for a long time.When I surf the Internet, I browse websites that seem like passing clouds, and read the most fashionable petty bourgeoisie magazines. My eyes just scan quickly, and my hands follow the E speed cultivated in this computer age, flipping quickly.Occasionally, those colorful things will enter my brain, stuffing my already clogged brain even more firmly.But many times, they are all filtered out, like those vegetable leaves, dead branches, old slippers, and plastic bags. When it rains, they rush into the sewer or shovel into the trash can. Since then, Nothing to do with me anymore.I often feel hungry, not physically, because as I desperately eat many burgers, the hunger that I don't know what to do, and I need to grab something still binds me tightly.I was like an ant on the vast ocean, desperately crawling and crawling, only to find that I was still unable to touch the safe and secure soil.

One night, I held an old book from N years ago. In the yellowed pages, I saw a small jasmine flower that I put in in a certain early summer. When I gently picked it up , placed under the nose, I finally know that what makes me anxious and dazed is just because I have forgotten the smell of ink in the book.

Many years ago, when I was a child, I followed my elder sister who was in the first grade in an elementary school and listened in.Everyone has desks, but I am the only one who moves my own small green bench and carries a cloth schoolbag sewed by my mother. Like a real student, I put my hands behind my back and follow the teacher on the podium to read: Autumn comes Now, the weather is getting colder, a group of wild geese fly south, lined up into a character for a while, and a character for a while...

At that time, how I wanted to have a book of my own!I have thought of many ways for this. I gave all the candies, sparkles, and candy wrappers I had saved to my sister and let her choose, so that I could wash my hands clean under her "monitoring" on weekends. , sat down at the table, and carefully flipped through her newly issued textbook.Through the pink plastic cover, I would glance at the hazy word "Chinese" on the real cover.Occasionally, while my sister was going to the bathroom, I would quickly open the cover of her exquisite package, and see two brightly dressed children running and flying kites on the grass, and a kitten was walking happily from under their feet. through.The sky is blue, the trees are green, what a beautiful season.But I can only turn them over in such a hurry in the fragrance of ink.Each of my sister's books is wrapped in a book cover, some are colorful calendars, and some are newspapers I have read.I love watching my sister wrapping her new book meticulously at the table.She prepared a knife, ruler, glue, and used a large newspaper to cover the entire table to prevent the book from being soiled.She never allows me to touch her new book until she has wrapped it.If I dare to turn over, she will definitely quarrel with me upside down.Although, in fact, every time I sit aside, I will automatically wash my hands and watch the entire book-wrapping ceremony religiously.

After two years of looking forward to it, I can finally go to school.I remember that the day I took the book back, I repeated everything my sister had done: wash my hands, wrap the book, and keep her from touching it, and then I sat in the courtyard, reading aloud with full of showing off and pride. , I kept reading until the sky was getting dark, bright lamps were hung on the tree of the neighbor’s house, and my stomach had already protested for a long time before I noticed it.

I remember everything about the book-related past.I shared the most beautiful method of wrapping books with my sister; I closed my eyes slightly, and smelled the ink in the book affectionately; I picked the most beautiful leaves, flowers, and grass and put them in the book; I was on the rainy road , took off his clothes, wrapped the book layer by layer, and hugged it to his chest, not allowing any raindrops to fall on it; I received a new book every year, and I always greedily read all the texts in advance; Because I was too devoted, half of my eyebrows were burned by the flame of the candle; I sneaked to the door of the neighbor's house several times, trying to take the book that was accidentally left on the wall by the neighbor's brother, and take advantage of the moment when no one was paying attention. Steal it home, and put it back quietly after watching it.I remember these bits and pieces, just like remembering the words in a book.It was they who comforted my soul when I was short of books to read but was hungry for books when I was young.

The lack of books, on the contrary, ignited the enthusiasm for books in my heart.In the years when I had no books to read or couldn't afford books, I had endless passion and wisdom to find books to read.On the eve of the college entrance examination, I even borrowed a pirated copy of "The Ordinary World" from a classmate, and stayed up all night to read it in one sitting.I also used the gap between classes to read a copy of "A Dream of Red Mansions" intermittently.When I got the admission letter from the university, I turned around and looked back, only to find that I actually read the most books and made the thickest excerpt in the busiest third year of high school.

Now, I have already left the campus, and I can earn a good salary to buy books. There are also bookstores around where I live, and I have started writing books myself.However, I found sadly that I have not had the habit of reading for a long time.I flipped through fast-food magazines, went online to Dangdang Bookstore to buy a local book, and I passed by bookstores and libraries every day, seeing those young faces, holding a stack of books, and leaving happily.I also bought a study room for myself and bought the best wooden bookshelf, but in the end, I found that my bookshelf was full of books, bought by myself, gifted by others, given by friends, borrowed and forgotten to return, However, I seldom have intimate and unimpeded contact with one of them.When will they withdraw silently from my beloved, and wear a thick robe made of dust instead, waiting for me to pass by one day and take a look indifferently?
When did all this start?When exactly was my heart congested by worldly desires, complexity, greed, and laziness, and I forgot the clear waters that nourished me in the first place?I thought that all my irritability, helplessness, loss, and fear were just because of my environment, which was unfair to me, but I forgot that it was me who lost the clearest spring.

Fortunately, I know that Hongqingquan is still on the way when I came, waiting for me quietly. As long as I pick up a book with ink fragrance on a certain night alone, I can turn around and return to its side .

For a period of time, I was in a hurry every day because of some trivial matters and the series of books I compiled that I thought were great.I get up early every day, sitting in front of the computer, or making phone calls to different people, convincing each other about some small corners, and even myself feel a little long-winded, or even annoying.A cup of Pu'er tea that has been brewed is placed on the table just like that, waiting for me to drink them down when I have leisure time.It's a pity that I missed the good time of talking softly with them. I always saw their black and bright color gradually dimming. A cup of tea lost its temperature, so I took it up and drank it like drinking water. middle.

So the blisters on my lips are always in my impatience, sticking to one side and can't be repelled.And the friends around me also regarded me as a thornbush that couldn't get close, and walked around carefully, lest if I didn't pay attention, I would be stabbed and bleed by the sharp thorns on my crown.The roommates who live in the same room, seeing that I am overwhelmed and busy, automatically shut up, and lock up the interesting daily knowledge in their stomachs, or go to the next door to talk to others.

But there are still things to add to the chaos.It's the network I'm using, but for some reason I couldn't log in when I woke up one morning.I tried many methods, and I almost broke the computer, but it still can't be used.In a hurry, I grabbed the phone and called the network company, demanding that they must, immediately, must send someone over now to check the network problem for me.

It was a female staff member with a sweet voice who answered the phone. Hearing that I was so angry, she was not in a hurry, but explained calmly, let me wait patiently. Now that the employees have been dispatched to various places, no one can spare for the time being. Take it, but she promises to come over and fix it for me today.

As soon as I heard it, I became even more angry, and almost shouted: Isn't your service tenet that the customer is always God?If you don’t solve God’s problem right away, then what is God? !If you can't fulfill the promise, you just close the door and go out of business!
I am so angry that my lungs are going to explode, but the telephone operator still has a good temper. After quietly listening to my reprimand, he spoke softly as usual, and said, please forgive me, they are indeed too busy manpower.In the end, he gently suggested to me that it is better to turn on the computer, listen to a bandari song, drink a cup of chrysanthemum tea to dispel fire, or chat with family members and catch up with friends.Otherwise, just sleep for a while, but it's just a few hours, and it's easy to pass anyway.

But I couldn't bear to listen to her kind advice, and I always felt that she had fake compassion to avoid responsibility.So I got more and more angry, and when I was almost about to blurt out the national curse, the operator said goodbye in time and hung up my phone softly.

I slammed the phone down on the computer table, closed my eyes and thought for a moment before deciding to call again.Just when I got up to pick up my phone, I saw the plug of the network cable behind the computer, like a loose piece of clothing, hanging on the socket.When I lightly press the interface, the computer line is immediately unimpeded.

At that moment, my face was burning with pain.I thought and thought and finally decided to call the internet company.The female staff with a sweet voice answered the phone. When I embarrassedly said the reason for the network failure and whispered "Sorry", she didn't sarcasm me in turn. Instead, she smiled and said, in fact, She has long heard that I have accumulated too much anger in my heart, not just because of network problems, so I need to find a place to vent.

With an apologetic expression on my face, I said, then I shouldn't treat you as my punching bag and speak so harshly.And she joked to herself that God would lose his temper with us every day, but she had already gotten used to it, besides, it is an honor to be a punching bag for God and relieve temporary troubles.

I really want to ask that female staff member, if she is reprimanded and complained fiercely on the phone every day, will she be as restless as I am, and want to have a big fight with someone?But I still held back and thought, in fact, troubles have filled the lives of each of us, but some people still smile at it indifferently, then sit down and drink a cup of tea, and wait for the time to pass, and the troubles will also be smoked The same goes away.Others, like me, in the restlessness, fermented those dust-like troubles into cloud after cloud, until they got stuck in it and couldn't find a way out.

If you can't find your way, you also lose yourself.

I call her Aunt Tang and Miss Ai.But in fact, the two of them are almost a few years old, and they are both Ben 5 women. It's just because Aunt Tang has a low rank and Sister Ai has a high rank. Their identity and status are distinguished.

Aunt Tang is the manager of a supermarket. She is in charge of more than a dozen people, but she is still like a little girl, with a sweetness and gentleness that people like. A small piece of spring sunshine, or gently caressed by a feather.When I go shopping in her supermarket, I like to stop for a moment to share her happiness and joy at work. I think it would be nice to be a sleeping kitten with squinting eyes by her side.Aunt Tang has no academic qualifications. When she was young, she worked part-time in the canteen of a research institute. She was liked by many researchers because she was as innocent and cute as a pistachio. Among them was Sister Ai, who was just a few years younger than her when she started working.

According to Aunt Tang's description, Sister Ai was a timid and shy girl at that time. She had just graduated from university. Among the many senior researchers, her qualifications were the lowest, so she had no right to speak, and often went to the hospital alone. Eat in the canteen.Aunt Tang greeted her enthusiastically every time she saw it, and took the initiative to say some good things for her in front of the leaders who came to eat. Such kind deeds really got Sister Ai's response. Aunt Tang who is cultured but can be liked by many people.Moreover, being both women, the two actually had many private conversations that outsiders could not know.One is an intellectual young woman doing academic work, and the other is a working girl who sells food in the cafeteria. The two girls with very different identities, because of Aunt Tang's innocence and kindness, exchanged for a job that has been nearly done since then. 30 years of friendship.

It can be seen that Aunt Tang likes this sister Ai very much. She calls her son "our son". he.Before I met Sister Ai, I always envied their friendship every time, and sincerely admired Sister Ai who has become a researcher and has a high status and status. Thinking that she has not forgotten Aunt Tang until now, Or take the initiative to stay away from her who is humble, as if she has a high enough self-cultivation.

Later, I accidentally met the two of them in a restaurant, and sat with them for a while out of politeness. It was such a short meeting that I suddenly discovered that in many cases, the friendship between women is far less reliable than that between men. Proverbs such as "Be rich and honor, never forget each other" are said to men, there is a quack air, but to women, it is just that cheap makeup powder, which will fall all over the ground as soon as the wind blows.

Sister Ai's 17-year-old son is only three years younger than Aunt Tang's daughter, but he is like a spoiled emperor, not only acting arrogant in front of me, seeing me sit down without even raising his eyelids, He lazily cuts the steak in his hand, the ruthlessness and indifference when he does it makes you feel that he is not here for Aunt Tang's date, but to meet a little man like a cleaner who is completely cumbersome to him.Aunt Tang stroked his head a few times and called him "son", but he ran away in annoyance, and ignored Aunt Tang's invitation to visit his godfather at home, as if it was unnecessary for the leader to deal with his subordinates It is a blessing to be able to avoid a meal.

On the other hand, Sister Ai, in the light chat with Aunt Tang, has the aloofness and pride of a professor, and the sense of superiority of a female intellectual has been soaked into the bone marrow, which cannot be removed with a knife or axe.Regarding the newly bought clothes and jewelry that Aunt Tang showed her, she just smiled and did not comment, but the sense of distance in that expression was enough for people to understand that she didn't really care much about Aunt Tang .She would rather show off to Aunt Tang the house and new car she just bought, as well as the Ph.D degree she earned, and her husband who had three consecutive births.And only these contents can give her the joy and comfort of being flattered in front of Aunt Tang.

It's only 10 minutes, but I really want to pull Aunt Tang and her well-behaved daughter aside and tell them that there is no need to give such intense enthusiasm to a woman who is indifferently looking down on a tall branch. Her splendor and wealth, and you have your own comfortable life.I believe that Aunt Tang, who is liked by many people, has a lot of true feelings of equality. They like Aunt Tang, and they will not ignore her kind and grateful heart just because of her humble status. Her happiness and joy are completely ok For those who know how to cherish and appreciate more, instead of a sister Ai who no longer needs her friendship because of the change of status although she has gone through nearly 30 years.

But I didn’t break out of this unbalanced friendship in the end, maybe I still have a naive Aunt Tang. When she wishfully recognizes and likes someone, she also has a wishful happiness that outsiders can’t understand.

(End of this chapter)