the most beautiful time

Chapter 13 The Traveler Walking on the Left Side of My Life (2)

Of course I got up late the next day, so I grabbed my schoolbag in a panic and rushed out the door. When I got to the classroom, I saw the boy walking over with a smile, and then I remembered the love letter in the book.Blushing, he opened his schoolbag and reached into it.Then, my face immediately turned from crimson to ugly purple, and that love letter disappeared!After school, I returned home anxiously, and I saw my mother sitting in a state of distress, waiting for me.At first I refused to admit it, but later I insisted that it was a novel written by me. My mother couldn't find a way, so she slapped the table and said: "Then I will go to your head teacher in the afternoon to find out whether it is a novel or a love letter." !I finally fainted, but I also used the most powerful trump card, raised my head, and said bravely: If you really humiliate your daughter like this, then I will really break the can and smash it to you in the future!My mother was stunned on the spot, blushing and staring at me for 10 minutes, and finally leaned back dejectedly, and stopped talking.

There were many such fights later, and each time, my mother and I were almost evenly tied.When the youngest brother was about to graduate from college, the defeat and loss in the eyes of the always aggressive mother finally became unstoppable.At that time, my mother began to take the initiative to ask us for peace, and there was a rare ray of tenderness in her tone.I no longer intervene arbitrarily like when my sister and I were discussing marriage.She learned to discuss with her younger brother in soft words, and asked him with a little pleading, could he not associate with that tattooed girl?Or change girlfriends, don't be too frequent, okay?The younger brother is always impatient, saying that she doesn't know how to enjoy a good life, so why bother.After hearing this, my mother complained to my sister and me, saying that the third child is becoming more and more disobedient, and no matter what you say, it will not work. If you have time, please help me educate him.

My sister and I both laughed, saying that you always worry too much, if you have time to get angry with him, you might as well chat with your neighbors.This sentence was like a key, which opened her chatter box with a snap, and described the trivial news about Zhang's parents, Li Jiashao, to us in a very interesting way.It sounded fresh at first, but later I found out that my mother had suffered from amnesia at some point, and the topic that I had just talked about just now called us again a few days later.Even, she can tell us four or five times about one thing.I have always been absent-minded about my mother's conversations, so she talked about the old things N times, I glanced at the TV screen as usual, and nodded in response to her; but it was the outspoken sister who had no patience to listen She interrupted her endless nagging like this, and yelled at her: You have said this 180 times, and I can hear calluses in my ears!Mother always stopped abruptly in this sentence, her eyes looked around in embarrassment, and finally landed on a basin of clothes, and said awkwardly: I forgot to wash, so I got up and left.

It was at this time that my mother learned to be silent.Often after finishing the housework, she would just stand by the TV and watch blankly until she saw a snowflake on the screen, her head tilted on the sofa, and she fell into a drowsy sleep.It was I who came out to pour water and wake her up, then got up, turned off the TV, and walked into my bedroom.Our busyness, and her self-control in refusing to disturb our work, finally made us unable to talk to each other.

And the mother's chatterbox, which used to be eloquent, just closed down like a petal in the years.

I don’t know if it’s a coincidence, or J City itself has a strong tolerance. In the community where I live, on the way to the library, or on the bus, I often meet many mentally retarded children, couples or women.Walking in the hustle and bustle of J City, they are inseparable from the smell of worldly fireworks just like us, but they have a clear alienation and separation from the world.They will never understand our haste, mania, desire, and secret struggle, and we also don't understand that in their spiritual world, apart from eating, dressing and sleeping, will they hear the crisp sound of flowers blooming and falling? , Enjoy the verdant greenery from winter to spring, or see the bustling city with neon lights.We are walking on the same road with each other, but we are suddenly separated by an invisible thing; like a ship, when it rides the wind and waves on the river, it cuts the white waterway silently.

My landlord has a 20-year-old mentally handicapped son. Almost every evening, I would see him wandering in the garden of the community downstairs with the landlord.Basically, he and the landlord go shopping separately, the landlord chats with the acquaintances around him, and he is never idle, muttering something in his mouth.Of course, outsiders couldn't understand it, and even his mother ignored his self-talk, but he still enjoyed talking and commented curiously on everything he saw.Although, such comments, apart from getting curious gazes from outsiders, there will be no response.He was always clean and well dressed, so if he sat quietly, no one would think he was retarded.But he loves to speak, sitting, standing, walking, he will be like a child who just learned to speak, unable to stop talking.Occasionally, when he noticed someone looking at him, he would stop suddenly, tilt his head, and stare at passers-by.In his eyes, there is the purity and concentration of a baby, as well as the gentleness and tranquility of an old man.But more, it is a personal joyful world that outsiders have never been able to enter.

I heard that he also has his own job as a cleaner in a dead factory nearby.With a salary of [-] yuan a month, he does it with gusto.Like a normal person, I get up early to go to work, and when I get to work, I put on my work clothes and go to clean up the garbage for the day.I once passed by that factory and saw him sweating profusely pushing a big bag of construction waste towards the door.The sun was shining, and everyone else was drinking tea and chatting under the shade of the tree, but he was the only one running back and forth happily, like a child having fun.The more others tell him to stop, the harder he works.I believe that at that moment, he had a happiness that we will never understand, and it was this kind of happiness that made him live happily in a world of one person.

In a market not far from the community, there was a couple. The man was reticent, and the woman even omitted all vocabulary, and only used simple gestures to express her displeasure or joy.They have a stall that sells boiled peanuts and edamame, and sometimes snails and scallops.Men often take care of business while changing the saliva-soaked towels on the chests of women in wheelchairs.I heard that the woman suffered brain damage and paralysis of her lower limbs due to a serious illness two years after her marriage.At that time, they had just had a child, and the man often held the child who was waiting to be fed, and brought her a change of clothes at the same time.After 20 years like this, their children have gone to other cities, and only their husband and wife are left, setting up a stall in front of their house to earn pocket money.The intelligence of a woman is about the same as that of a 10-year-old girl. She likes to chew snacks, and she prefers to eat and laugh at people on the side of the road.Occasionally, when her husband walked away for a while, she would look at the stall alone, and when someone came to buy peanuts, she would feel at a loss and panic.

I remember one time when I went to buy edamame, she was the only one left to watch the stall.I pointed to the package of edamame that she had weighed by a catty, and then gave her a 5 yuan note.She handed me the edamame and stared at the banknotes in a daze.I laughed and said, you should give me 2 yuan.She hugged the change box as if suddenly opened, and searched over and over again. Finally, like a victorious general, she happily raised her right hand and stretched it towards me.I took a closer look and found that it was a two-cent bill, so I waved my hand and said, it was two dollars, not two cents.But she thought I didn't want it, and left it for her as a tip, and forced it into my hand, with a bit of cute kindness in her stubbornness.After arguing like this for a while, I had no choice but to exchange some change for her at a nearby stall, which calmed down her excitement.When she left, she breathed a sigh of relief as if she had completed a big task, and then waved goodbye to me vigorously.I, who was used to fair business and never owed each other, was moved and warmed by her childish wave of hands.Afterwards, when I see her greet me silly, I will respond to her with a smile, although maybe she will not remember me, just out of an instinctive curiosity.But I know that I remember her pure heart.

When I was walking on the road, sitting in the car, shuttling through the crowded vegetable market next to the community, I saw those strange mentally handicapped people, they were staring at their toes, listening to the voice of the conductor announcing the station, or a Zhang Zhang helps customers find banknotes, and every action is so serious that it is almost stubborn.When someone watches curiously, they will look at them with the same eyes without any inferiority, but, compared with the wretchedness of the world, their hearts are magnanimous.They will not think about passers-by, nor will they feel hatred because of the ridicule of passers-by.They just look at all the past, like a philosopher, seeing the mediocrity, ridiculousness and jealousy of the world, it's just a smile.

I'm not envious of them, I'm just touched by God, let us healthy people know many things in the world, there is no need to worry about it, it is a miracle to have life, and it is a miracle in the next life, so why bother to stick to desire and utilitarianism with vanity.And these mentally handicapped people who are at ease walking or staring, I prefer to regard them as angels who have descended to the world. Whether they are flying or falling, they only pay attention to the beauty and tranquility of flowers blooming and falling.As for those things that can never be taken away when they disappear, they just deliberately forget them.

(End of this chapter)