the time you love

Chapter 10 Who Really Loves Who (2)
I bit my lips and said nothing, and after a while, I asked, "Why did you come here now? I called you countless times before I came back, why didn't you answer?" I walked away in a cool way at the time, but I still feel wronged when I mention it now .

Shen Su's eyes were full of helplessness, "I'm sorry, Xixi, I was having a showdown with my mother at that time, I knew you would not stay for me after graduation, I was ready to leave with you at that time, but my mother's reaction was more It was even stronger than I imagined, not only confiscated my mobile phone, but also prohibited me from going out, and I was not allowed to contact people in the school."

I glared at him: "So you just give in obediently and let me, a fool, wait for you until the last day you leave school, no, wait until the moment before you board the plane."

"I'm sorry I've made you wait so long, I'm late, I'm sorry." He said those three words hurriedly with an apologetic expression on his face. He is better than Zhou Nuoyan in this regard, even though Fang Wenlin always told me that Shen Su is a A spoiled child, but at least he knows how to spoil me.

I looked at him, feeling a little angry, and said, "Yes, you are late."

He didn't think about it because of my words.If my heart falls to Zhou Nuoyan, it will be a kind of betrayal to Shen Su.But Shen Su won't easily doubt my loyalty, or he doesn't have that self-consciousness at all, just like I never think that Zhou Nuoyan wants to take away my custody just because I look like his first love.

Me, Shen Su, and Zhou Nuoyan, we all have our own proud side, sometimes too much trust in ourselves is the root of the final sadness.For example, believing that you can change a person, or believing that you can replace your old love with a new one.

These ideas are wrong.Zhou Nuoyan's attitude towards that photo made me realize that I would never be able to replace Jiang Enjie's position in his heart.As for Shen Su...his arrival was probably just a spur of the moment, why should I believe that I have enough charm to make him never regret it for the rest of his life.

"Shen Su, how many days do you plan to play here?" I ignored his surprised look, and said on my own, "Now everyone is still at home for the holidays, and they will return to work one after another after the eighth day of the Lunar New Year. Be nervous, it's better for you to make a plan in advance, about one day you will go back, let's go and book the ticket first."

Shen Su ignored all the hidden intentions in my words, but patiently explained to me: "Xixi, I'm here this time, and I won't go back in a short time. I have already made an agreement with my mother. She will give me time. I'll prove it to her. Don't worry, I'll go find a job in two days, and I'm very confident about our future."

Confidence again!A talented student like Shen Su is in high demand everywhere. I never doubt that his ability will fail when he goes to the south.It's just that the more steadfast he is, the more I waver and fear.

Sighing, he asked, "Have you really thought it through? What did you say to your mother? If you have the heart to ask me to go back with you in the future, I advise you to leave now, and no one can say anything about it in the future." Sure, maybe I will go with you, maybe I will never go with you, if you are not mentally prepared for this, you may be disappointed and regret it in the future."

Shen Su smiled slightly, her handsome face was still somewhat childish, and her gestures in the sun were dazzling, "Xixi, I came here willingly, even if I really have to go back alone in the future, I will leave willingly , you don't have to bear any burden."

I was still worried, so I asked: "Then your mother..."

"I will slowly convince her," he said very calmly, "Xixi, trust me."

I was stunned, thinking of Zhou Nuoyan's low wry smile last night, he said: Why don't you always believe me.

Shen Su's pupils, which were as beautiful as black jewels, could not find a trace of haze.I thought of all the good things he had done during the three years of dating with him, and thought of that photo that Zhou Nuoyan had hidden for seven years, as if trapped in a nightmare of time and space, and after a long time, I heard my own voice say in a low voice: " OK, I believe you."

Isn't this the redemption and liberation I have dreamed of for many years?Why am I hesitating.

Shen Su happily touched my back and said, "Xixi, don't you live at home?"

I panicked and said, "Shut up, what's the matter?" Then I thought of what was going on.He was on the plane in the morning of the second day of junior high school. He probably called me at the airport, but I didn't answer. When I called, he had already entered the warehouse and turned off the phone.Then I drank coffee with He Amber and got into an awkward relationship with Zhou Nuoyan, and lost my bag. After he got here, he couldn’t find anyone on my mobile phone, so he ran to find me according to the address in the address book I left for the school. .

"Are you staying in a hotel these days?" I feel a little distressed. This hotel is famous for its high prices and poor service, and it's foreigners like Shen Su who deceive them. "Why don't you go to a youth hostel? Stay here for one night." I've lived there for three days."

"I went downstairs to your house to wait for you a few days ago. It's more convenient to go here."

"Wen Lin didn't tell you that I..." I slipped my words for a moment, and then stopped abruptly in the middle of my sentence.

"tell me what?"

I had to say: "I live with my brother-in-law's eldest brother, and I will move back in a few days."

"Oh." He didn't say anything, and he didn't even want to ask me why I stayed at Zhou Nuoyan's house.

I felt a little guilty, thought about it, and said, "Well, you stay at my house first, and check out now."

Shen Su has no objection. I guess he will be tired living in such a hotel. He is very particular about life, and he can't sleep well with a different pillow, let alone a different bed.

I know it's inappropriate for Shen Su to live in Zhou Nuoyan's house, but I can't think of a better way.The arrival of Shen Su disrupted some of the original plans and gave me a lot of comfort.When you are repeatedly frustrated in front of a man, and when you turn around and see a man pursuing you and caring about you without hesitation, no matter what, your heart will always be at peace.

It's my turn to have a showdown with Zhou Nuoyan, although it's a bit difficult, but it can't compare to everything Shen Su has done for me.When helping him organize his clothes, he found that his luggage was just a light blue denim backpack with only a handful of things in it.I wouldn't be surprised if it was someone else, but from what I know about Shen Su, he is the kind of person who pays attention to the quality of food, clothing, housing and transportation even for a short trip. I think his coming this time is not as simple as he said. It's more like running away from home, or angering his strong mother and being kicked out.

But these are not important, I have a lot of troubles of my own.Get Shen Su settled down, and I'll go back.As soon as he took out the key, the door opened automatically. When he looked up, he saw Zhou Nuoyan standing in front of him, holding the handle in one hand and putting the other in his trouser pocket.He seemed to be in good spirits, not as tired as last night.

After looking at each other for a while, I looked away and said, "Are you free? There is something I want to tell you."

He nodded and said, "I also have something to tell you about Enjie, that is..."

"I know," I interrupted impatiently, "your first love, Jiang Enjie."

Sitting at the round table where we ate, I stared blankly at the glasses on the table, "Let me start with mine, mine is simpler."

He didn't object, he just said hello lightly.

I took out the agreement from the pocket of my coat, and laid it flat under his eyes, "This is what I signed with you back then, and it was up to the time when I graduated from college, and I'm still in the internship period, which means this The agreement is not expired yet, is it?"

He didn't understand, so he frowned and waited for me to continue.

I held the glass in my hand and said slowly: "I was in college, and I had a boyfriend, his name is Shen Su."

"Shen Su." He repeated in a low voice, and after a while, he suppressed the surprise on his face, "How long have you been dating? Why didn't you tell me before?"

I had to say, "It wasn't necessary before."

"Where is he now?"

"It's in the apartment you gave me, but don't worry, I'll look for a house tomorrow, and we'll move out soon."

"He Bixi, what are you doing?"

I looked up at him, the anger from last night could no longer be brought up, maybe the reason why I was so angry was that I felt miserable, but today is different, I have Shen Su, that man came to me happily from thousands of miles away , I didn't even have a simple complaint when I met for many days, I am content.

"Let's break up, I can't live without you, and the person in your heart is not me, so why should we continue?"

"Do you love him?" After a long silence, he asked me suddenly.

I was stunned for a moment, but within two or three seconds, I said with certainty: "Yes, I love him."

There was disdain on his face, "Why are you hesitating? Isn't it something you've been certain of for a long time whether to love or not?"

I didn't argue, or even think about it.

"How long have you been together?" He continued to question with a sullen face.

"Three years." I answered honestly. At this moment, I felt that our relationship had changed drastically.He's just my guardian, I told myself.

"Three years." He smiled suddenly, "Are you so eager to get rid of me? You went to college for four years, dated that man named Shen Su for three years, and took two long vacations every year. Whether it's in front of me or on the phone, you never mention this person. If you think about it, my treatment with you is not much better. Shen Su doesn't know my existence, does he? This makes you love him? This Is it the way you love?"

The more he spoke, the more passionate he became, I couldn't help but sneer, "Yes, I hid him from you, hid you from him, do you think it's unfair? But Zhou Nuoyan, how are you better than me? I I have been with you for seven years, and for seven years, I didn’t know that there was still a woman named Jiang Enjie hidden in your heart. Even if I, He Bixi, am sorry, only Shen Su has the right to question me. Why are you? You just treat me as Her stand-in, do you want a stand-in to be loyal to you? This is too much to do."

"He Bixi, you..." He paused, as if he was hesitant to say something.

My heart trembled uncontrollably, as if I was about to hear unbearable words.Fortunately, he stopped talking and didn't go any further.I couldn't help heaving a sigh of relief, but when I looked up, I saw that his face was completely devoid of blood. I was surprised and blurted out, "Are you okay? Are you feeling unwell?" Thinking of the scene of him lying on the sofa last night, my heart was full. twisted up.

"It's okay." He stared down at the agreement, tore it in half in the blink of an eye, and said, "He Bixi, I will fulfill your wish. From this moment on, you are free." The calm voice showed no emotion, Just weaker than usual.

I looked at the black and white words, and there was no long-awaited joy in my heart. Suddenly, discomfort, loss, and sadness came one after another.

He said as if talking to himself: "From now on, you don't need to be loyal to anyone, just to yourself."

I was stunned, and then laughed: "You are right, you must be loyal to your own heart, what about you?"

"Let's go." He leaned on the edge of the table and stood up, making a gesture of seeing off the guests.

I raised my chin and stared at him: "You haven't said anything about that woman yet."

"It's not necessary." His face became indifferent, and he didn't even want to look at me more.

I grabbed his hem and said, "I don't want to know anything else, but can you tell me that when you kept me by your side back then, you really... only regarded me as her substitute?"

"If I say no, will you stay?" There was an obvious mockery on the corner of his thin lips, "I told you to explain, but you can't wait to make a choice. Tourmaline, you still want me to give What's your answer, yes or no?"

I took a deep breath and said, "I want the truth."

He nodded and said softly, "Okay, I'll tell you the truth—yes, you're a substitute, are you satisfied?"

I was immediately discouraged, and felt infinitely desolate in my heart, "Then thank you for your fulfillment, even if I elope with other men now, I don't think I was sorry for you first, Zhou Nuoyan, I will ask you one last question."

"You said."

"Why don't you go to her? Since you still love her." After waiting for a long time, it was almost beyond my patience.

His eyes were so deep that he couldn't see to the bottom, and what filled his eyes was not sadness but a refreshing chill, and he said lightly, "Enjie, passed away eight years ago."

"How did you die?" I was astonished and couldn't help asking.

"Accidentally fell from the building." When he said this, his expression was numb, and I couldn't see what mood he was in.

"I'm sorry." I didn't know what to say, the answer was so unexpected.If I had known earlier, I might have pretended not to know anything and just laughed off He Amber's words.After all, what's the fight with a dead man?
But if this is the case, I won't be able to hear the word "substitute" from Zhou Nuoyan's mouth. He Amber's [-] sentences are not as hurtful as his utterance.

"It's okay, it's all in the past." He responded lightly, just for a moment, I felt his face became paler and paler.

Go back to my room to pack my things, I'm going to move back today.Zhou Nuoyan went to the study to answer a phone call, but I didn't see him come out again.While tidying up and worrying about him, I think I'm really the most sympathetic stand-in and best ex-girlfriend in the world, if that counts as my girlfriend.Shen Su drove away most of my anger, and the fact that Jiang Enjie was no longer alive made me lose even a little bit of anger, even if there was, I couldn't find the vent.

Before leaving, I saw that the door of his room was ajar, so I went to knock on the door, but didn't plan to go in.Weighing the beautifully packaged carton in his hand, he said: "I prepared a meeting gift for your mother, but I'm afraid it won't be needed now. Please pass it on to her for me. I've called her several times, and she told me It's good." After waiting for a while, seeing that he didn't speak, I put my things on the sofa and left.

I accidentally opened his wound, I think it's better not to disturb him at this time.

The next day, Shen Su dragged me to Gome to buy a mobile phone, and even replaced the lost card number. He was more careful about these things than me.I have a dispensable mentality about a lot of things, so it doesn't matter if I don't have a phone.

Shen Su said: "Xixi, you don't have a mobile phone, so it's inconvenient for me to find you."

I find it funny that we are inseparable for at least fifteen hours a day, and the significance of mobile phones is really small.But Shen Su was very serious, calculating, and said: "It's not very useful now, but you are about to go to practice, and I will miss you."

He said things like this so true and natural that you didn't feel the slightest bit awkward.We watched dishes, listened to music, played cards and checkers, went hand in hand to the supermarket downstairs to buy three meals a day, and sometimes cooked. I cooked and he washed and washed the dishes.Occasionally I would think about what Zhou Nuoyan was doing now, but soon Shen Su would run over to disrupt my thoughts, and then fight with him until it was too late.

This kind of days soaked in honey water accompanied me through the first week of internship.

On weekends, Shen Su picked me up from get off work, we had dinner together, and then went to see a movie before coming back.

While waiting for the traffic light at the three-way intersection, I heard someone calling my name from a distance, and I looked around.Shen Su touched me, pointed at the car parked in front of a Korean restaurant, and said, "It's over there."

I took a closer look, and it was Guo Yi.

We walked over, and Shen Su took my hand naturally.Guo Yi's gaze lingered on him for a few seconds, and he said to me with a smile, "I haven't seen you for a few days, you're pretty again."

I know he likes to joke, and said: "Let me introduce you, Shen Su, Guo Yi." He gestured casually.

The two people shook hands in a serious manner, which was as grand as a business meeting, and I couldn't help laughing at the side.

"Tourma, are you free? Go in and have a chat." Guo Yi frowned, with a helpless smile on his face, "It's not about my family, I can't figure out what you women are thinking. When I met you today, You are unlucky, be me a military adviser."

Shen Su smiled understandingly, and said self-consciously: "You talk, I just want to go to the bookstore."

I tugged at Shen Su's clothes, "Don't go back too late, help me buy the book I mentioned to you yesterday."

Shen Su nodded.I watched his figure disappear at the end of my sight, and I heard Guo Yi say: "Are you so reluctant? It seems that Xiaobie is better than a newlywed."

I gave him a blank look and said, "Since when did Zhou Nuoyan become your partner? Be careful and I'll tell him to go!"

(End of this chapter)