Waiting for a long time, Captain

Chapter 23 Little Known Stories

The plane flew directly from Kunming to Tianjin. Gu Zeng was not very comfortable all the way. He started to have a fever in the second half of the night. Fortunately, his eyesight recovered on the way to the airport.

Immediately, he sent a text message to Lu Zhao, asking him to contact the doctor for surgery.Lu Zhao didn't know what happened, guessed the bad situation, but couldn't help asking why.He glanced at the sleeping person beside him, and edited the text message very slowly.

When the eyes are dark, I can't see any of her actions. I think she will cry and feel uncomfortable, but I don't know which direction to reach out.That feeling was really not good. There was a moment when I was really frustrated. For the first time, I felt that I was incompetent.

Lu Zhao: Have you considered the risks of surgery?May be permanently blind, never see her.

Cen Today: So please find the best doctor, really, don't make me blind.

When they arrived at the airport, Lu Zhao and Xu Shen had been waiting there for a long time. Seeing that Gu Zeng's expression was not very good, they didn't ask any further questions, and drove home directly.Before this, Gu Zeng carefully calculated the time, and she hadn't been home for more than a year.I was still in Khartoum during the Chinese New Year, and I only told my parents that I was safe.

Xu Shen hugged her in the car, kept feeding her water and talking to her.They just came from home, and because of Lu Zhongnian's arrangement, everyone didn't bother too much.Her mother is also in good condition, but she always sheds tears when looking at the photos.

Relatives and friends at home stood in the yard, dealing with follow-up matters.Not long after she went back, they all left one after another, and finally only some people from the company remained.Gu Zeng heard them talking, and the final decision was to find a professional manager to continue to manage the company. From now on, the company's legal representative will be directly responsible to Lu Zhongnian.In fact, she really doesn't understand the company's affairs, so this arrangement is the best.

When the mother saw her, neither of them spoke, but seeing that she was still having a fever, she drove her to the room to rest.It was night when she awoke, and she sat on the bed for a while, listening to conversations in the living room.

Now, at this moment, those who are there are the closest people in her life.Mother came in to talk to her, and chatted with her about his father's recent physical condition.

"I went for a physical examination a few years ago, and it wasn't very good at the time. I thought you would come back for the New Year, but...Xiao Zeng, your father and I both think you are a very sensible child. It's not that we haven't seen and felt you for so many years, but we don't know. Why, if you don’t tell me, we’ll just pretend nothing happened and we don’t know about it.” Mother came to touch her forehead and hair horns, which hadn’t happened for many years, and she suddenly had a sore nose.

"Xiao Zeng, you have grown up, and now you can understand some truths. Although you are not our own, we treat you as our own daughter... Sometimes your filial piety and cuteness make me feel very distressed. This particular failure of being a mother. Many times I want to ask myself, is it because I don’t know how to be a mother that I let my children suffer so much outside, but they never complain or complain when they come back, so they act as if nothing happened. "

"No, Mom." It's not their problem, it's her problem.When I was too young, my mind was still not sound, so I heard many children say that she was a picked child. At that time, she was not very old, but she clearly remembered it.

It is also because of this that I have been extra cautious towards my parents these years. Perhaps it was cultivated when I was a child. I was afraid of angering them, afraid of not getting love, and afraid of being thrown away.In fact, she is really a very bad girl, she is used to hiding too many complicated thoughts.

"A few years ago, you were married all the year round. Every time you came back, you locked yourself in the room, didn't talk much, and were terribly thin. Your father and I thought you must be sick. I wanted to ask you many times, but I was afraid to touch you. Touching your sadness, I am afraid of hurting your self-esteem. Xiao Zeng, mother is also afraid that you will not want us."

Some topics that have not been mentioned for many years, until the death of his father at this moment, let the sad point have an outlet to vent.

Because they love each other so much, they become extra careful.She used to feel that there was no mother and daughter like them, who knew each other's thoughts clearly, but kept silent, so they could only treat each other doubly well.But in fact, we all know that we can't hide it.

But it's good now, we both confess to each other, and we can relax a bit, and we don't have to worry about touching each other's bottom line or wounds, but we feel a little bit guilty.The mother said that when her father was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment, he kept calling her name and calling her all the time.At that time, she was still in a small town in Yunnan, desperate for her love.

At around two o'clock at night, Gu Zeng sent Xu Shen and the others away.There were not enough rooms at home, so they all booked rooms in hotels.Cen walked behind her side by side today, without speaking to each other.

After leaving the yard, Xu Shen and Lu Zhao got into the car, but he started to find the cigarettes in his pocket, found the lighter and lit it.

Gu Zeng looked at him and said after a long time, "Stop smoking."

He smiled, and hugged her with one arm, with a tone of discussion: "I just smoke one?"

"Just one."

He nodded and said, "Okay, listen to you."

The light at the door was orange, illuminating the flowerbed.She thought of something endlessly, and said, "I also have a pot of the beauty of Jianhu in my house, have you seen it?"

"Well, put it on the bookshelf."

"My dad also likes to grow flowers, especially orchids."

He smiled: "It can be seen."

Slowly smoking a cigarette, chatting a few words, she saw Xu Shen and Lu Zhao who were still waiting in the car, and said softly: "It's too late, you should go, go to the hotel and go to bed early."

His hand touched her ear from her shoulder, and kneaded the small earlobe a few times: "Okay, you too."

Then he left, the cigarette butt fell on the ground, and the small half of the cigarette butt that was not burned was scarlet.She squatted down with her knees in her arms, and pressed the cigarette with her thumb until it was completely extinguished.

When he looked up, he saw Lu Niannian standing at the door with a pale face, and he didn't know how long he stood there.

"You don't like him smoking?"

"Does Xiaoxiao like you smoking?"

Lu Zhongnian was noncommittal, poured a glass of water and handed it to her. The two of them sat on the sofa in the living room. She hadn't had dinner yet.

"He only started smoking when he was sick. It's the same as drinking alcohol. I'm afraid he's addicted." She took a sip of water slowly, seeing that the noodles on the table didn't have much appetite.

"Many men in this society smoke. Do you take him too seriously?"

"If there is such an opportunity, I really hope that he will not do anything, just let me see quietly, and let me raise him alone and take care of him for the rest of his life."

Lu Zhongnian raised his eyebrows: "According to your current assets, it seems that you can do this. But I don't think he will accept it."

How is it possible to accept it?As long as he is a little bit willing to give in, treat himself better, and accept the care of others, he will not let himself become like this.

For so many days in Khartoum, he faced the possibility of blindness at any time alone. What kind of experience did he have?Not at all, he refused to say.She rested her chin on her knees, crossed her arms, and slowly lost focus, not knowing what she was looking at.

"Do you know any soldiers?"

"Ok?"

"I would put myself in danger because of performing some tasks, such as defending the territory and maintaining peace. I worked very hard to save my life, but my body was damaged due to some unavoidable factors."

"Physical injury?"

"Probably blind, deaf, disabled and spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair."

Lu Zhongnian looked at her incredulously: "You mean that Cen might do the same today?"

Gu Zeng acquiesced.

"So, he almost fell because he couldn't see?"

"You said he fell before?"

"It's okay, Gu Zeng, he just bumped into the table accidentally, I thought he was worried about you, that's why..." Lu Zhongnian hurriedly explained, almost surrendering, "It's really all right, just a light touch, I promise !"

"Radiation, force majeure, his eyes will be blind anytime, anywhere." She changed her position, curled up in a corner of the sofa, covered her eyes, her voice was low and deep, "You know what? I almost lost him."

She nestled in the corner of the sofa, whimpering like a kitten: "When I heard the news of my father's death, my heart was too confused. I regretted going to Yunnan a little bit, and I was a little anxious, so...so I just left like that, I I left him alone in a strange place. I knew he might not be able to see me, but I still couldn't hold back my impatience and lost him, almost lost him."

Lu Zhongnian suddenly lost his temper.He may be the only one of her friends who knows that she is not Papa Gu's biological daughter.A traumatic childhood directly affects a person's life. At that time, out of protection for her, she deliberately did some things, so that everyone who knew about it would withdraw from the circle of her life, but it still made her irreversible. Later that temper.

Tolerating silence, warm and simple, too cowardly.

Looking at her for so many years, I feel distressed, and sometimes wish to bear some pain for her.After finally waiting until today, he let him know the cruel truth inadvertently.The person who will stay together for a lifetime in the future may not be able to take care of her because of physical defects, and even needs her to do a lot of things, a lot of hard work to take care of another person.How can the love relationship between two people be so difficult?
Many years of experience made him feel that God was a little too cruel to her.

Gu Zeng didn't speak, and Lu Zhongnian was also silent, both of them were hiding their thoughts.This posture was like this all night, she didn't feel sleepy, so he guarded her all night, and they went back to their rooms to sleep for a while when it was almost dawn.

She always remembered what Lu Zhongnian said to her, if she couldn't keep it, he could guard it for her.Suddenly very touched, I hugged him.The past between them was really relieved, completely relieved.

I fell asleep until the afternoon when my mother woke me up to go shopping in the supermarket. There were not many ingredients left at home, and Lu Zhongnian and her seldom came back. My mother wanted to cook some home-cooked food for them.

After shopping in the supermarket for a while, my mother saw her old classmate, and the two of them chatted for a while, and then she went shopping in there.Walking to the milk place, remembering that Xu Shen likes to drink yogurt, he took a box and put it in the shopping cart. When he looked up, he saw two aunts standing in front of him.

"Is it Xiao Zeng?"

She reacted for a while, and the two aunts had already introduced that they lived next door when they were young, and they moved later for some reason.She greeted them with a smile, and after talking for a while, Aunt Li grabbed her hand and said, "I haven't seen you for how many years, and you've grown so big and so beautiful. Are you here alone?"

"No, with my mother."

"Oh." Aunt Li looked at her kindly and smiled, explaining that they had moved to another place, and they came back this time to see relatives.Aunt Zhu next to her kept urging her, and she quickly said goodbye to her.

Gu Zeng walked back, wanting to find his mother, but suddenly remembered that a box of yogurt might not be enough, so he went back to get another box.It was so unfortunate that she overheard a conversation by accident.

"It's not biological, it's emotional, not filial. I heard that her father passed away for three or four days before she came back. The country is so big, how far away would it take three or four days to come back? If it wasn't for Lu Zhongnian's family back then. If I have money, I won’t move, what I’m saying is the truth, if it’s not my own, why don’t people say it?”

"Don't say that, children of their generation are like this. They go far away and are not close to their parents."

"I don't believe how far he can go. His father was probably mad at her. I heard that he kept calling her on the way to the hospital, but he didn't answer any of them. How cruel."

……

"Xiao Zeng, what are you doing here?" The mother's voice came over, and it was inevitable that Aunt Zhu and Aunt Li turned their heads to see her. They were both a little embarrassed, and the latter left without even saying hello.

"Seeing you standing still for a long time, what did you buy?"

Fortunately, my mother didn't see or hear it.She turned around, wiped her eyes, and said under cover: "It's nothing, I bought a box of yogurt for Xu Shen, she likes to eat such sour things."

"Sour? Can you eat spicy? I'll make pickled fish for her at night, is that okay?"

"Okay, yes, she can eat spicy food."

The two of them turned to the fish stall again, but fortunately, they didn't meet those two aunts again until they checked out and left.When they returned home, Lu Zhongnian had already woken up, playing chess with Lu Zhao in the study, Xu Shen was busy in the kitchen, and Cen was sitting in the living room reading the newspaper today.

The mother secretly took her hand and said in a low voice: "I like him very much. His temperament and temper seem to be better than those of the whole year. If you bring him back earlier and show it to your father, he must be very happy."

"mom……"

"Okay, let's not talk about your father, I will go to the kitchen to help Xu Shen, you go and accompany him."

Just saying that, as long as father is mentioned, both mother and daughter can't help but turn red.Gu Zeng stood at the door for a while, changed his shoes, and moved very slowly. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that his gaze had been chasing her.Looking at her intently, nothing can be done.

She took off her coat, sat next to him, and asked like a routine: "Is the eye okay?"

"It's okay, I just can't see clearly."

"Can you see the numbers I'm gesturing with my fingers?"

You can tell when you are close, but you can only see a hazy overlapping image when you are far away. It is said that you are reading a newspaper. Who knows, you can’t read a word clearly, just waiting for her to come back.

"When are you going to the hospital?"

"tonight."

"I'm with you?"

He came to hold her hand and smiled slowly: "No, you stay at home with your mother, and Lu Zhao will follow me, everything will be fine." He didn't hear her response, and he comforted her, "Really, it's just Xiao Operation."

"Ah Cen, can you still see my face?"

"Not quite."

That's okay, this way he won't see her red and swollen eyes, and her fragility that can't be hidden at all.

"Pity."

"Yeah, I can't feel any tiny movement of yours anymore, but I can feel it." He touched her cheek with his hand, touched her nose from the corner of her lips, and then lightly brushed her eyes and fingertips Brows, "I've told you this sentence many times, and I still want to say it now, the more I experience the long darkness, the more I want to bring warmth to the people around me. But this mask-like habit, don't use it to treat me , For a long time in the future, you can lose your temper with me, ignore me, or leave me without any explanation, I will cooperate with all decisions as long as you want."

Gu Zeng was about to cry: "Then, tell me about how you waited for me in Khartoum?"

It was a long period of darkness and heat, the sun was burning above his head, he was lying in the wheat field, his eyes were all her shadow when he closed his eyes.For a while, he really thought he was going to die in the sun, but then some bugs got into his clothes, probably biting the wound, which made him wake up in pain.The whole body is filled with dense soreness.After trying for a long time to get out of the wheat field, I kept asking people passing by two things.

"where is this place?"

"Can I have some water?"

Then a child brought him a bowl of water, took him to a cool place, and told him as much as he knew, such as where, when, and how to get to Khartoum.

Because of his obvious Chinese face, he attracted some attention during the conversation with that child, and there were many local rough men and girls among them.

In the evenings, he told stories there in exchange for food and money.A girl hugged his body from behind and offered to take him home, but it took him a lot of effort to politely refuse.When I left there, my eyes were much better, and I could recognize the direction and the road. Except for some unclear feelings, everything else was fine.

Because someone doubted his identity, they fought with him specially. The men there were all very tall and tall, and his physical condition was not very good at the time, so he was beaten a bit badly.Fortunately, he was beaten away.

"When I arrived in Khartoum, I tried to show myself in various districts so that you can find me." His hand stopped deep in her hairline, brushing the broken hair on her forehead time and time again, "It's just that at that time Without identity information, it is not suitable to stay in one place for too long, and it is not convenient to go to a large hospital. The small clinic I found simply treated the wound, which was very painful. When I had no choice, I smoked."

He didn't have much money on him, and of course it was only enough to buy some necessities, such as instant noodles and cigarettes.He waited for a long time in Khartoum, because he had to avoid the inspection of some uniformed sergeants, and he might miss them from time to time, but he never met them.Fortunately, the last message left was the Qingbai Nile River, and there were only two ways to get there, so he planned to wait forever.

"Aren't you afraid you won't be able to wait for me?"

"Don't be afraid, I knew you would come."

Gu Zeng smiled: "Why did you choose the road to Tuti Island instead of Family Paradise?"

"For me at the time, that road might be relatively safe. Take the family playground, and someone will check."

Her temper softened, her eyes were red again: "I didn't think that much, I just know that I'm afraid of missing you."

"No." He patted her on the shoulder and said, "For so many days, the only wish I made on the banks of the Qingbai Nile is not to let me miss you again."

(End of this chapter)