Waiting for a long time, Captain

Chapter 21 The much-anticipated confession

Gu Zeng curled up on the car seat with her knees in her arms and was a little sleepy. The mountain road was not easy to walk, and it was always bumpy.My heart is very confused, I don't know whether to be happy or sad.

Just before getting into the car, he told her that there was only a period of the past, which belonged to Su Ge.His grief and ten years of Atlanta belonged to Suger.This man, when she thought those things belonged to another woman, now gave the most direct answer.Well, she should actually be very sad, very sad.Moreover, he refused to promise not to lie to her again.

She regained consciousness, propped her chin up and looked at his side face from the not very bright moonlight, very focused, without any other expressions.

He must have thought long and hard before deciding to go to Sudan. If she didn't go to him and just believed that he had died in an accident, wouldn't he stay in Sudan forever, in Khartoum?Are his eyes really what he said, but his eyesight has declined?
It's not that she didn't ask Lu Zhao. Although she never read the test report, when she was in Khartoum, Lu Zhao definitely gave her a report of the report.Yes, as long as the eyesight deteriorates and is lower than the aviation standard, you will lose the qualification to fly.At that time, when he promised his mentor to do the last flight mission, his eyesight should not be so bad?But after all, you still gamble with your own life, don't you?
Closing her eyes, she tried to recall his appearance at that time, thin, pale, with several wounds at the corners of his eyes, large and small scratches all over his arms, and the elbow was pierced by a sharp object, a large lump The blood scabbed over.He seemed to have been followed for many days in the deep mountains, and he was exaggeratedly thin.

In the farmhouse that gave the hostess the phone number, she saw him clearly, and she really couldn't help crying.But when I asked him about those days repeatedly, he always briefly mentioned it.She knew very well that this was his way of expression, the way of a soldier.

In the middle of the night, the snow was getting heavier and heavier, and the three men in the back row had already fallen asleep, but Gu Zeng was very awake, and became more energetic because of some memories.The car was getting harder and harder, snowflakes kept flying in front of the car, and the speed slowed down.When it was time to turn off the flame, the three people behind were still unconscious.

But the atmosphere between them was extremely solemn, she was the one who turned off the ignition, she had the key in her hand, and Cen today leaned over the steering wheel without speaking.

"Tell me about your eyes." She asked in a low voice with a firm tone, "Ah Cen, don't let me experience regret and pain again."

When I watched him adjust his posture many times to hide the fatigue of his eyes, I knew it very well, and I felt so sorry for him that I was so distressed that I was about to cry.Thinking of his wounds, he was full of nonsense, and felt that this person was really too much, hiding too much from her.

"Ah Cen, tell me, what happened to your eyes?" She took a deep breath, her voice already moist.

A momentary thought made her quickly unbuckle her seat belt and approach him.Cen reacted quickly today, raised his head, held the back of her head, closed his eyes, and kissed her.The posture has not changed for a long time, she feels that she is about to suffocate, filled with his breath, and there is still some residual heat from the cigarette, her mind is in a mess, she can't see his eyes, she wants to struggle, but obviously she can't escape The strength in his palms.It's really annoying to bully her like this.Slowly feeling his movements slow down, she tried to respond to him.She was really worried about him, and she didn't think about how inappropriate the time and place was at the moment.

Someone in the back seat swallowed and muttered softly: "Should I not wake up?"

Gu Zeng's face became hot.When Cen let her go today, it was obvious that the three men had woken up. They looked at each other, didn't speak any more, got out of the car decisively, and started talking with their arms folded in the cold wind.It really cooled down, and I felt very cold in the car.

Gu Zeng glanced at Uncle Zhang and the others, and after getting the kind eyes of several men, he spoke to him with confidence.The time is short, and there are only a few words.

"Can you see it now?"

Cen pondered for a moment today and said, "I can see it."

"Can you see the numbers I compared?"

He shook his head and saw that her hands were only vague outlines, sometimes blackened.

"It was fine before, and only when I used my eyes too much did I feel uncomfortable. I was about to stop just now." He tried to reassure her, and kept repeating, "Really, it's just some discomfort, and it will be fine after rest."

"Ah Cen, we'll see a doctor when we get to the city, shall we?"

He reached out to touch her cheek, obviously he couldn't see clearly, but he felt that she should be crying, pretending to be peaceful, but the tears kept falling down.If there were other options, even if they were bad, he didn't want her to see them.

"I'm fine. I'm fine except my eyes are not clear." The moment he stopped, his eyes suddenly lit up, allowing him to see her face clearly. He smiled slightly, "Gu Zeng, I need you."

"I know, I know." She hugged him tightly, "Ah Cen, I need you too."

So they hurriedly let Uncle Zhang and the others get into the car, and after changing positions, the two of them returned to the back seat.After calculating the time, she could reach the city center at four o'clock in the morning at the earliest, and she must find a doctor for him, she kept repeating in her heart.Cen drove for a long time today, and it was only at this time that he could close his eyes and go to sleep with peace of mind.She was carrying it wholeheartedly, and she couldn't relax all the time. She really didn't feel sleepy at all. She glanced at him from time to time, and then again.

Another teenager in the back seat always looked at her at this time, and once said in a low voice: "Before my sister married my brother-in-law, she always used me as a cover to have a tryst with him. When she looked at her brother-in-law, her eyes were like yours. It’s exactly the same, as if I can’t get enough of it.”

Gu Zeng blushed when he was told, and explained: "He's sick, and I'm worried about him."

"Oh, is it acclimatization?" The boy scratched his head. "There is a clinic near the protection station. Let Uncle Zhang take you there."

"Okay, okay, thank you." She glanced at the sleeping Cen Today, made sure that he hadn't been woken up, and repeated a few more words, "Thank you, thank you very much."

Uncle Zhang couldn't help but look back at her, and the co-pilot also looked at her nervously, but he didn't ask anything after all.

As she was walking in a daze, she didn't know when she would relax. She just fell asleep for a while while staggering, with her forearm blocking the car window, worried that he would slip down and her head hit the car window, so she fell asleep. It has been left like this, and it doesn't feel sour.

Later, I was awakened by a huge bump. The noise was so loud that everyone in the car woke up.Cen's condition is very good today, his eyes can see very clearly, he immediately held her hand and said softly: "I'm here, I can see it, it doesn't matter."

Gu Zeng nodded, licked his dry mouth, and breathed a sigh of relief.

Uncle Zhang ran out of the car, and someone stood in front of him, waving his hands non-stop. The answer he got later was that the mountain was covered by heavy snow, and the front was not allowed to go.

Gu Zeng's heart sank all of a sudden, and he asked, "How long will it take?"

"It was said before that the snow will be cleared before it will be released. At least it will take three days."

"Then... is there a clinic near here?"

"If you don't go to the village and don't go to the store, how can there be a clinic?" Another person in the car replied.

She didn't respond, she lowered her head and tried hard to digest the bad news, then looked at Cen Today, and conveyed her most direct thoughts: "Shall we go back? Go to the village where we watched the big show before, there should be a doctor there."

"No need." He held her hand to dispel her nervousness and anxiety, "Look, from Khartoum to Nepal and then here, I'm fine all the way. It's just that sometimes I use my eyes too much. .”

"You don't have to lie to me." She resisted stubbornly, "You always lie to me like this, again and again, which makes me very sad and guilty when I find out later." She really had emotions, strong and uneasy Feeling emotional, she repeated: "This is your usual method, I can't always be deceived by you." She let go of his hand, turned around and hugged him, leaning her cheek on his shoulder, "Ah Cen, if you If you don't tell me the real condition of your eyes, I'll call Lu Zhao."

"Threat me?" He squinted his eyes and smiled like a sly fox, "Gu Zeng, I'm very happy to see you like this, you can treat me without reservation."

She sighed: "I just want to make sure of your condition."

"I won't be blind, trust me." He leaned down and hugged her completely in his arms, ignoring the rest of the people in the car, "Gu Zeng, there is nothing like not being able to detect you with your eyes anymore." Every little gesture still makes me feel sorry, so I will not let myself be blind."

In this way, she was fooled again.

At night, they lit a bonfire at the mouth of the leeward cave, and the fire was so strong that everyone's eyes were very bright.

When Uncle Zhang talked about his deep feelings about fate at the beginning, he recalled: "30 years ago at the Golmud Railway Station, someone asked my father for five yuan, saying that his ticket was lost and he should buy one quickly. My father At that time, there was only six yuan left after buying the ticket, but we still gave it to him. We didn’t buy rations on the way. Nine years ago, my mother-in-law encountered illegal traffickers at the train station, and several men took her to the alley. Liya, it was very late at that time, and the sporadic people on the street chose to be silent after hearing my mother-in-law calling for help. Later, a man who sold tea eggs at the station stepped down to save my mother-in-law and sent her back safely. Home. When my father and I saw him, we were stunned for a long time. It turned out that this man was the one who asked my father to borrow money. He has been selling tea and eggs at the station entrance all these years. He can’t make much money, but sometimes he can People fill their stomachs. Fate in this world is so strange, it is all predestined, every action will have a result in the future or at a certain time in the past, whether it is a gift or a punishment, it is all predestined."

The youngest boy among them, who had just been at the protection station for two years, chased after him and asked, "You went to the protection station afterward?"

"Yeah, I always feel that we should do something useful." Uncle Zhang said shyly.

"My sister and his man were also in the protection station, but later passed away, in order to save a border smuggler." The young man scratched his head, his eyes lingering on Gu Zeng, "My family is still forcing me to send me In the past, they said they were not afraid that I would die suddenly because I was a promising worker at the protection station?" He expressed inexplicably, "People are commended only after they have passed away, and the family members are happy when they receive a large pension. It is said that my sister has settled for the rest of her life, but I don’t know that my sister is almost blind from crying. Maybe one day I will be like that, and they will just be sad for a while, and then be happy with a large pension?"

"Don't think of your family members as villains. If you can't even trust them, how much coldness and darkness will your heart be filled with?" Gu Zeng comforted him, "Perhaps for the most primitive purpose, the word protection is great, you It's a boy, and they want you to be responsible."

The young man smiled bitterly: "They want me to be successful, so it's best to leave here. How many people live in this land, but still want to leave. I just can't figure it out. If the outside is really so good, why do people keep coming here? , once you come, you won’t leave.”

He pointed to a certain mountain and said, "Behind that is the most backward village here. In recent years, almost all the villagers have moved away, but more and more tourists yearn for this place because of the undeveloped natural environment. I want to settle here. I told the tourists that the people in the village can’t get through, so don’t stay, but they actually lived at the foot of the mountain. What are you planning, the environment is good?”

Gu Zeng felt very sad, most of them liked the new and disliked the old.

"Generally speaking, no smugglers will show up here. The law and order has been very good in recent years." Cen was sitting today with his back facing the wind, and the sound of the wind brushing behind his ears, and then blowing his temples, his voice was the same as always "If you have been to Africa, you will know that there are some people who kill people in order to go out of the country." This is a difference in regional culture. Even if they live in the top of the city like them, they still want to return to the original, "People always In this way, things that have never been experienced are thought to be beautiful, and they all want to try. The most important thing to live in the world is to keep a clean and warm heart, so that in any place, it is the same and beautiful.”

He doesn't think money can solve everything, but when he was in Khartoum, he was particularly helpless and lost money.

"When I was a soldier, I saw a lot of real scenes. Evil thoughts, greed, indulgence, or delusion derived from emotions and desires will be magnified and eventually turned into killing. Among the many accidents of survival in the wilderness, the last one who survived Usually there is only one person. A small number of people die of natural causes, and most of them die of cannibalism. Many people in the local borders will also be disturbed by the disputes in one place. If the war continues, it will affect countless people. If it stops , the offspring will be extended. But no matter what the result is, the initial idea is from the selfishness of human nature, so how can it be judged by theory and conjecture because of cause and effect?" Because the voice was deliberately lowered, several people present All became very quiet.

At this moment, Gu Zeng felt that he was recalling some real experiences of his own.

"Everyone walking in this world has an independent soul and personality, and has his own warm belonging. If you see a person as a good man, you will live in your heart. If you see him as a poisonous snake, you will be a poisonous snake. "

After he finished speaking, he turned his head and looked at her, staring at her in the firelight.Seeing her timidity and warmth, tension and worry, and unreserved feelings.He would feel that there was such a girl giving him all his love and trust, how could he deceive her repeatedly like a bastard?
So he confessed to her: "Gu Zeng, one day in the future, I may lose my light and become a person who needs to walk with a blind stick. I use some instruments that use sound and temperature control, such as alarms and clocks. Maybe..." His voice was almost hoarse, but he laughed.

Gu Zeng rarely saw him smile like this, showing his teeth, Qingjun was pale and sad.What was he trying to say, that he might never be able to rescue her again in an Atlanta strip club and take her racing down an alley late at night?Still unable to see her at first sight in the crowd?Or was there no way to kill Sim and give her time to escape in the woods late at night in a state of extreme exhaustion?
She didn't say a word, but everyone saw her bursting into tears, thinking of the scene in the car before, they suddenly understood.Everyone walking in this world has an independent soul and personality, and has his own warm belonging.But now, her only belonging doesn't seem to want her anymore?

There was a long, long silence.

Right next to the bonfire, during the long confrontation between the four eyes, he finally said: "Maybe, I will need to work harder to take care of you."

"What did you say?"

Everyone looked at Gu Zeng in surprise, crying and laughing again.No one can understand her joy at the moment, the true meaning of the infinite meaning expressed by that word: lost and found again.

Just now she thought that he didn't intend to want her anymore.

"I said, I may need to work harder to take good care of you, and I may not take good care of you, at least not as good as before."

In Lu Zhao's report, it has been clearly pointed out that when he was performing missions, his eyes were damaged by radiation, and black spots were left in them, which was the reason for the temporary loss of vision. This situation is worse, but not too bad, and can save lives.

"In this place, unless you go to Kunming, small clinics may not even be able to find out the cause of the disease."

Gu Zeng immediately said, "Let's go back to Beijing and go for treatment now, okay?"

"Yes, hurry up and go back for treatment. These eyes can be big or small." Uncle Zhao said.

"Don't let your wife cry, it's the rule we local men believe in." The boy patted his chest and turned his face away.

"Hey, we can give you the car, and I will go back with you if necessary." Another person said.

……

This thread needs to end quickly.

Cen thought about it today, and briefly expressed his intentions. Soon Uncle Zhang and the three left the campfire and got into the car.They sat not close or far away, and she had been stubbornly expressing her idea of ​​going back to Beijing, which seemed very sad.

He started to fumble in his pockets, first found the lighter, then took out the last cigarette from the only box left, lit it and put it in his mouth, took a deep breath, and spit it out again.

"When I jumped out of the parachute, I fell into a wheat field. I was not very conscious at the time, and I felt pain in my body, as if my bones were falling apart, and insects were biting my skin. I lay on the ground for about a dozen years. For a few minutes, all I can think of is you, some details about getting along with you. I have been in the dark for these ten minutes, and I still have a fever for several days afterwards. "

Gu Zeng looked at him, holding back his tears stubbornly.The wind made my nose sore, my throat and eyes hurt, my stomach was cold, and there was no place on my body that was not uncomfortable.

"At that time, my wish was to come here with you in my lifetime, my favorite place in the world."

Gu Zeng felt that she would never be able to refuse Cen Today, watching him speak, meeting his eyes, hearing the consistent low temperature in his voice, would naturally want to obey him, obey all his actions or decisions.So, she was still persuaded.They were waiting for the snow to clear and reach the city, and the only thing he promised was to tell her about the eyes, anytime, anywhere.

On the second night, the line waiting to go to the center of the city grew on this mountain road. There was an acrobatic troupe from Dunhuang who walked here on foot.They stop and go, and it has been more than half a year. There are only three children here, the youngest is only seven years old, the others are adults, and there are two master acrobats, both of whom have been on the international stage.

When one of the old gentlemen was asked what he was best at, he said ancient color tricks.

Cen lowered his head and said today: "The tricks with Chinese heritage are fundamentally different from those western magic tricks. Now many oriental elements are recovering."

"How do you know everything? You have been abroad for so long, and you still have such a deep understanding of Chinese culture?"

He lowered his head and poked the bonfire: "Not all of them. My grandpa likes this trick very much, so he will know some of it."

Seeing everyone shouting loudly, the old man showed off his unique skills, holding out a goldfish bowl from under the Taoist robe. The point is that there is water in the fish bowl and the fish is still alive.I can't even think of where such a big thing is placed.The old man's clothes also looked very simple, and they couldn't hide living things at all.

The final performance was to take out a brazier from the Taoist robe, such a big brazier, with the flames soaring high, and then take it out of the clothes, the movement was thrillingly fast.

The whole audience cheered, and Uncle Zhang and the others hugged the old man and asked him how the fire was lit.The old gentleman's answer was not very clear, because at this moment, outside the crowd, a man was showing love to her.

On the open space illuminated by the bonfire, Cen spelled out a heart with a box of matches today, and said to her, "I asked the boss for it when I was in the hotel, but now I hardly see matches."

Sitting next to her was a little girl doing acrobatics. She didn't know how she did it. With a wave of her arm, all the matches were lit, and the heart-shaped ones were burning.

The little girl grabbed her hand and kept saying, "Sister, I'm so envious of you." Then she secretly looked at Cen Today, sitting in the firelight, with small snowflakes drifting past, his face was as silent as the world can see tenderness.

The little girl let out a low cry and held her face together: "My greatest wish in life is to marry a handsome man like him."

There was this little girl between them, and their eyes met slowly.The little girl's face became hot, and she quickly ran back to her team, and the rest of the people also looked away tactfully, and communicated with each other.

The conversation between Gu Zeng and him made this night warm.

"Did you just show love to me?"

"good."

"I don't think you're sincere enough."

"Oh?"

"This kind of trick is suitable for men and women who are just dating."

He smiled, squinted his eyes, and stretched out his arms to catch her. His fingers touched her wrist, which felt a little cold.Because of such actions, even the people who were talking to each other couldn't help but stop. The crowd was extremely quiet, except for the creaking of firewood.

"The relationship between us is far more than this." Gu Zeng took a deep breath and said slowly.

Cen remained silent today, motioning for her to continue.At any time in the past, she would never have the courage to say such things in this environment.He felt content that his little girl could overcome her timidity in order to show her love for him.Infinitely close to his purpose, very good.

"The relationship between us can be described with some words, such as empathy, lost and found..." She spoke very slowly, so slowly that people became tense unconsciously, "Or, it can be explained with a poem, Chun You There are flowers and moons in autumn, cool wind in summer and snow in winter, when we are together, any time is a good time.”

His eyes are black and bright, looking at her at this moment, as if looking into her into the depths of his soul.

"Or, use a story to express the relationship between us. In the last life, you buried me, so in this life, I can only love you without reservation." She repeated in a low voice, in the snowy night , "I can only love you, Ah Cen."

At first on that one-way channel, he asked her, "Do you believe in destiny?" One sentence broke the three years of no news from each other.At that time, she believed that there would really be destined encounters and reunions in this world.Later, when he told her the story of who buried you in the previous life, what she thought of was - if there is a third person in this life, I hope it is him.

It can only be him.Gu Zeng's whole body was hot, and his cheeks burned again, but he really said to himself in his heart, try hard once, don't be timid again.

"So, if you want to use this trip and your lack of health to get rid of me completely, I may really leave. You know, I'm not used to being rejected repeatedly."

Cen laughed today and opened his arms.Gu Zeng moved over slowly and was hugged by him.

Someone in the crowd blew a whistle, and several men around the campfire grinned loudly: "Who can keep rejecting such a girl?"

He nodded seriously, with the light of snow shining between his brows, clean and warm: "Gu Zeng, don't think of me so badly, I don't have the courage to bet so big." He expressed frankly, "I hesitated before going to Khartoum , because I really dare not bet so big, I am afraid of losing you."

(End of this chapter)