Love is so close, you are so far

Chapter 26
"I don't have a mind like yours. I only think of my own interests."

"You are still a child and have not experienced many things, so you don't think like me. You really don't blame me?"

"Of course it's true. On the contrary, I love you more. You are a kind and righteous person."

"Don't mock me. I'm not as good as you said. I just want to make my conscience feel better. Seriously, if one day I have nothing, would you still be with me?"

"willing."

"Are you willing to suffer with me?"

"Whether it's enjoying happiness or suffering, I am willing to be with you."

"Actually, I don't want you to suffer, but I'm worried that I won't be able to do this. Maybe one day I will really have nothing."

"It's okay, I'm not afraid of suffering. If you really have nothing, we can start a business again. Are you a fool with strong limbs and a simple mind?"

"Hehe, of course not, you are a big fool, so stupid that you are willing to suffer with others."

"How can you know sweetness if you haven't tasted bitterness? Everything will be fine, right?"

"Yes, everything will be fine."

But instead of getting better, everything got worse.

Because I was worried about being kidnapped again, I followed the director's advice and submitted a "vacation" report.I filled in the "vacation" report for half a year, but I don't know if half a year can solve all the problems, whether Milan will let me and An He go.

When I was packing up, the choreographer encouraged me to work hard, saying that she would definitely cultivate me when I came back.I don't know why she likes me so much and helps me so much, is it really because of the same "lover".But no matter what, I am very grateful to her, and I hope she will work hard, I hope she will love and be loved well, and I hope she can get real happiness.

After leaving the TV station, I lived in seclusion and lived a secluded life in the city.

It's funny to think about it, love should make people's life bright and sunny, but I actually have to live in hiding for love, let alone enjoy the bright sunshine.Of course, I don't regret it, since I have chosen this kind of love, what is there to regret, at most I feel wronged.

During this time, An He had a lot of things to do, so she rarely had time to see me. I was so bored all day long.An He is very sorry for this, please bear with me.Yes, what else can I do besides being patient, do I still want to be kidnapped and humiliated.

To love someone is to suffer so much. We are really two obsessed sinners.

An He wanted to agree to a divorce with Milan, but they had many conversations with no results, which intensified the conflict. In the end, An He had no choice but to file a divorce lawsuit with the court.However, in the court, Milan firmly disagreed with the divorce, claiming that the relationship between the husband and wife could be reconciled without the intervention of a third party, and her lawyer did not know where to collect some so-called evidence, proving that before I showed up, An and her husband The relationship between Mi Yao and Mi Yao was very good, and Mi Yao's father intervened a little more, so the court did not grant the divorce.

Facing the court's verdict, An He was very distressed, and I felt bad too.If An He hadn't said that he had to divorce Milan, I might have no expectations, but An He gave me hope, but in the end the expectation turned into hopelessness, and I was really disappointed.

I don't want to live in seclusion forever, I thought of giving up, and I'm worried that Anhe's situation will get worse and worse.Anhe's current situation is very bad. Mi Yao's father has a great influence in the wood industry in Wuping. Some of the key clients lost.There are debts and client loss problems in his career, and the distress of divorce in his life. Anhe is suffering from enemies, and he also worries about my safety and my feelings, so he is under a lot of pressure.

I really don't want to see An He continue to work so hard. He is so eager to succeed, and finally got to where he is today. I don't want all this to be ruined because of me, and I don't want his life to fall into poverty again.

I proposed to break up, but An He disagreed. He hoped that I could stay by his side, but what use would it be for me to stay by his side?I can't help him at all, and I also add to his troubles. Maybe if I leave, Milan and her father will let him go, let him live a peaceful life again, and his career will improve.

An He said that Milan and her father's purpose was to put him to death, and my departure would not solve the problem at all.It's not easy to get to this point, he doesn't want to give up, he wants me to persevere.

Faced with his prayer, I had no choice but to stay by his side and fight against fate with him.

An He refused to accept the court's decision and filed an appeal. Milan seemed determined not to divorce, and hired a team of lawyers to defend her.Mi Yao's father kept intervening in this matter, so the lawsuit went on for a long time without any result.

The days went on with difficulty, and An He was physically and mentally exhausted, but he refused to give up.

I didn't expect An He to be so persistent. Maybe other men would have given up a long time ago. Is it worth it?
An He said it was worth it, for happiness, no matter how much you pay, it is worth it!
But for happiness, An He paid too much, besides his career, he even paid for quietness.

10
A traffic accident took away Quiet's life.

Since the conflict with Milan has escalated to a fever pitch, An He is worried that the quarrel with Milan will harm Jing Jing, so I take Jing Jing from the kindergarten to my residence every Friday, and Jing Jing naively thinks that she can live with me in the future. Happy.But after I lived a "reclusive" life, An He didn't let me pick up Jing Jing, and took Jing Jing back to her home.

One Friday, a client happened to approach An He to negotiate compensation. An He talked with the client very late, and was so upset that he forgot to pick up An He's matter.

It was a rainy day, An An waited at the gate of the kindergarten until it was dark, but there was no sign of An He, perhaps feeling scared, so she went home alone.Maybe it rained too much that day, maybe An Jing was so scared that she was hit by a speeding car while crossing the road, and she fell into the rain...

Quiet, just finished her short and pitiful life journey...

Facing An An's death, An He fell into endless self-blame, and became haggard all of a sudden.Although An Jing has no blood relationship with him, in his heart, he already regards An Jing as his own daughter.Her happiness and her sorrow are closely related to him.He wants to live quietly and happily, wants her to be surrounded by love, and wants to watch her grow up bit by bit.

For a long time, An He couldn't accept the fact that An Jing had passed away.

I can't accept this fact either. As soon as I close my eyes, I can see her clear eyes, her tender and sweet voice, and the scene of her lying in my arms asking me to tell a story. The scenes are so clear.I can't believe that none of those scenes will ever reappear, disappearing with that Friday into the rain, into the endless darkness.

One night, An He and I went to the intersection where the accident happened. There was still traffic and there was no trace of death. Does anyone remember that a fresh and lovely life disappeared there in an instant.I don't know if Anjing's young and delicate body felt pain at that time, whether she was calling "Dad" or "Sister". The sound of honey is wrapped, and I can no longer feel the warmth of her tender little hands.

She left Anhe and me and went to another world.

An He stood by the side of the road, staring blankly at the intersection, and said to himself, "Did Jing Jing really leave?"

"Um……"

"She must have blamed me for not picking her up that day, she must be angry with me, and she must scold me for not being a good father when she sees me."

"She won't be angry with you. She said you are a good father, the best father in the world."

"Xiaomei, let's have a baby. If it's a daughter, she will be as kind and beautiful as you, and she will be as innocent and cute as Jing Jing. She thinks that only dad is the most powerful in the world. No matter when dad is there, she will be happy." will be scared."

The words An Jing asked me to ride the roller coaster with An He lingered in my ears, "Sister, don't you, if you have daddy around, you won't be afraid, right..."

My tears flowed down, "Our daughter will be very good and love her father very much."

An He hugged me tightly, and tears dripped on my face. This was the first time An He shed tears in front of me, because he really loved his daughter, the only daughter in his life.

That's right, An Jing is the only daughter in his life, because I failed to give him a daughter, not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't have time.If I know that there will be no chance in the future, I will definitely give him a daughter, even if it is not a daughter, it is fine as a son, as long as it is the child of me and An He.

Many years later, I often regret not having An He's child. Maybe that way, my heart will not be so empty, so painful, and I will not be so hopeless and have no sustenance.

In the past, when I saw those women on TV who were dying to give birth to the man they loved, I always scolded them for being either stupid or stupid.Later, I finally understood them—it was because of love, too true and too deep.

11
My "recluse" life didn't last long and was broken by the people Milan found. They wandered around my residence, and she still refused to let me go.

Mi Yao knew about my kidnapping and the current situation of An He and I. It was Pang Xie who told her.So she called again and again, asking me to go to Beijing, hoping that I would be separated from An He for a while.

At first An He was hesitant, but he had too many things to deal with, and he couldn't guarantee my safety.In the end he had no choice but to accept Mi Yao's suggestion and agreed that I should leave Wuping.

Mi Yao then arranged everything for me.

Although the idea of ​​leaving has flashed in my mind many times, it is very difficult to really take that step.Since being with Anhe, I have never left Wuping, and I have always been within the range that he can see, but this time I go to a place that is too far away to be seen or hugged. I don't know if I can bear it, and An He, can he bear it?He is so in love with me, attached to me.

But we had no other choice. Mi Lan and her father fought each other step by step and forced each other hard.

This is the only way to go, to leave Wuping and Anhe.

An He said that he didn't want to leave him, but just separated for a while, and when he took care of everything, he would pick me up.

I don't know why people who love each other must separate. Is it really that we are wrong? If it is wrong, where is it wrong? Is it the wrong time for love?It's the person you love, right?Is it the way of love?Or is love itself wrong? ...

I don't know, but I know, I love An He, and An He loves me too, we love each other more deeply than any lover, this kind of love has penetrated into the bone marrow and penetrated into the soul, and we can never be apart, forever Neither can be separated.

However, no matter how much we love and how reluctant we are, we still have to separate.

12
An He bought a train ticket for me, which was a soft sleeper. He wanted me to be more comfortable on the train; he gave me a sum of money, and he wanted me to live in peace; fully……

When An He prepared these for me, I was like a father, and I was like a child about to go away.I wanted to say that I didn't want to go, but I couldn't say anything while holding An He.

Finally, I finally stepped on the platform where I left. There were many people who left on the platform. I don’t know if those people were sad, but in short, my heart was very sad and bitter.I have the urge to cry, but I hold back, I can't let An He see me sad, then he will be sad, blame himself, and worry about me.

I hugged An He, and my eyes slowly became moist.As much as I want to cry, I can't let it flow unscrupulously.

We are only separated temporarily, this is not a parting of life and death, he will pick me up, we will have many days together in the future, we will live together for a lifetime, so I can't cry, I should smile at An He, I A smile is very important to him.I also want An He to smile at me, but his smile looks a little thin at this time, and I know mine is the same.

He held me in his arms and clasped my hands tightly.He looked at me, and there were many things in his eyes, including love, reluctance, and self-blame, which made my heart ache.He kissed me desperately, and there was a heart-wrenching pain in my heart. I was really reluctant to part with his kiss. His kiss was so sweet, so warm, and so intoxicating.

"Anhe, you need to get better, don't make me wait too long, okay?"

"Okay, I will definitely pick you up soon."

"You have to take care of yourself, drink less, smoke less..."

"Okay, drink less and smoke less."

"Send me a text message every day saying you love me."

"Okay, I text you every day saying I love you."

"Think of me every day, think of me when you eat, think of me when you work, and think of me when you sleep."

"Okay, miss you every day, miss you all the time."

"Only think about me, not anyone else."

"Okay, just want you alone."

"Remember the way I smile."

"Okay, remember the way you smile."

"You have to laugh too!"

"Okay, I laugh too."

An He has always followed my words. I know he has a thousand words in his heart, but he doesn't want to say them out, for fear that any word will make me sad.

We hugged and stared at each other's faces and smiled.

An He gently stroked my face with his hand, and said affectionately: "Believe me, no matter what happens in the future, I will always love you. So you must live a good life, eat well, sleep well, and take care of yourself. Wait for me to pick you up."

"I'll be fine, I'll wait for you."

"Don't blame me, don't be angry with me, okay?"

"I don't blame you, you should be fine too."

When the ticket inspector reminded that the train was about to leave, An He hugged me tightly and kissed me hard. His kiss was full of helplessness and reluctance. I greeted him and kissed him with all my strength. My tears could no longer be controlled. Can't help but come out of my eyes.I had promised not to cry, but An He and I couldn't control ourselves, and his eyes were wet.

The train started, I put my face against the window and looked at An He, his figure gradually faded away, and finally disappeared from my sight.My heart was empty and sour, and my eyes hurt a little.

For a long time, I turned my eyes to the sky, the sky is so quiet, but it looks so lonely, the sun is so bright, but not warm at all.

Without peace, no matter how bright the sun is, it will not be warm.

The train is moving forward, I don't know if this train will take me out of the peaceful life, I don't know if I can come back, if I can't come back, how should I live; if I can come back , when is the return date?I don't know, maybe An He doesn't know either, no one knows.

Fog gradually formed in my eyes, and my eyes became blurred.

(End of this chapter)