Wanli 1592

Chapter 683

Xu Guangqi suddenly had doubts about himself.

I... am I really a useless person?
A good-for-nothing cripple?
Where is my use?What am I here for?Why is everything I do?
What answer am I looking for here?What path am I looking for here?What kind of consideration do I come here for?Me, did I really make such a decision after careful consideration?
Is this... is this really a decision I made?

Why did I make such a decision?
Xu Guangqi's brain was in chaos.

only……

There is only one point, so far Xu Guangqi has never doubted or wavered.

He is not useless.

He is a useful man, a man who compels himself to be useful and will certainly do something for his country.

This is something that Xu Guangqi has never doubted and never slack off.

"I...I'm not a useless person..."

Although Xu Guangqi's expression collapsed and his body was shaking, he still expressed his only belief to Xiao Ruxun in this state.

"I am not a useless person, I... I am a useful person... My body is... a useful body!"

Xu Guangqi raised his hand and held Xiao Ruxun's wrist.

"Oh?"

There was a mocking smile on the corner of Xiao Ruxun's mouth.

"Useful people? I don't know how you define useful and useless. I only know that in this military camp, this is on the battlefield. What is useful to me is daring to take up arms and kill the enemy A man! That is a useful man! And you! Not!"

"No! I am a useful person! I, Xu Guangqi, am a useful person! I swore! I must become a useful person! I want to serve the country! I want to go down in history!!"

Xu Guangqi suddenly roared loudly.

"Then take this blunderbuss and kill a captive and show me! Prove that you are a useful person! If you want to serve the country, then go kill the enemy! This is to serve the country!"

Xiao Ruxun's roar was louder than his.

"me……"

Xu Guangqi's breathing was trembling, he gasped violently, his eyes shifted from Xiao Ruxun's face to the ground, the flintlock that he had discarded by himself.

"I am a useful person, my body is a useful body, I will never, never be a useless person..."

"In that case, pick up the gun and show me how to kill a captive, otherwise, no matter who you are, no matter where you go, you will always be that useless person in my eyes, forever !"

As soon as Xiao Ruxun let go, Xu Guangqi collapsed on the ground. His body was soft, and so were his legs.

The flintlock was within reach of him.

He stretched out his hand and touched the cold body of the gun. A deep chill suddenly swept over his whole body. He couldn't help but retracted his hand back halfway, and his hand stopped again.

Am I useless?

Yes, right now, right now, here, without a doubt, I am the most useless one, I don't know what I should do, I don't know what I can do, I don't know what I can do.

I can't even pick up a gun and kill a person, which seems so simple.

That is the Beilu, the Beilu who has been killing the people of Ming Dynasty for a long time, is my enemy, could it be that even so, I can't do it?
I am a literati, I am a Juren, but I am also a Han Chinese, a citizen of Ming Dynasty, a man, a man, don’t I even have the courage to pick up a gun and shoot an enemy?

At this time Xu Guangqi was extremely annoyed that no one in the books he read taught him whether he should kill people or kill enemies.

Why is everything different from what I imagined?

Xu Guangqi lamented himself so.

His hand reached forward slowly, touched the gun, and picked it up.

Start with a piece of heavy, and my heart is also heavy.

How should I bear this heavy thing?

Xu Guangqi took a few deep breaths, calmed down his restless and flustered heart, and picked up the gun.

He pointed the gun at the front of himself. At the place where they were fighting, there were constant beiku who were tied up to the upper body and stumbled outside to survive, and soldiers from the Ming army kept chasing them out with red eyes.

His breathing became more and more rapid.

But at this moment, a northern prisoner ran out, stumbled, and was chasing three Ming soldiers behind him. He panicked and rushed directly in the direction of Xu Guangqi.

Xu Guangqi panicked immediately, took several steps back and bumped into Xiao Ruxun's body, Xiao Ruxun pushed him forward.

"kill him!"

The cold voice made Xu Guangqi shudder.

The Beilu kept running towards him, as if he didn't notice his existence at all, but Xu Guangqi hurriedly raised his gun and pointed at the bloody Beilu.

"do not come……"

Xu Guangqi raised his gun tremblingly.

The North Prisoner certainly didn't hear it.

"do not come!"

Xu Guangqi's voice was filled with tears.

The Beilu still didn't hear it.

"Don't come here! Don't come here! Don't come here! Don't come here!!!"

Xu Guangqi suddenly stood up like crazy, staring forward with red eyes, raised his flintlock and aimed at the northern prisoner.

He pulled the trigger.

And at the same moment, the Beilu's eyes suddenly met Xu Guangqi's, and the two gazes intertwined.

There was a bang.

At an almost unresponsive speed, the shot shot just hit the head of the Beilu, and the head of the Beilu was instantly exploded by Xu Guangqi's shot, like a watermelon hitting the ground, it exploded.

Xu Guangqi stared blankly at the dead body.

The three Ming soldiers who were chasing the northern captive cursed a few words, then turned around and continued to rush into the prisoner-of-war camp.

Xu Guangqi was left alone to stare at the corpse in a daze. After a while, Xu Guangqi shuddered and threw the gun out. Then he looked at his hands, screamed a few times, and then collapsed on the ground and hugged himself. His head was curled up on the ground, and he cried bitterly.

Xiao Ruxun looked indifferently at Xu Guangqi who was on the verge of collapse.

Li Rumei walked over silently.

"Governor, isn't it a little too hasty to deal with him like this? These scholars are very stupid. If he is suddenly asked to kill someone, he won't be able to bear it."

Xiao Ruxun shook his head.

"Since he came to me, he has always regarded himself as an outsider, with a high self-esteem, and regarded himself as different from other people. He was completely treating this war with the mentality of watching a drama and watching a story. If this is the case, I What is the use of him?
Maybe it was my courtesy that gave him this illusion. This illusion is unacceptable. Since he can't turn it around on his own, I will help him. If it still doesn't work, I can only let him go. I can't accommodate another person here. Nothing to eat. "

To be honest, he was very disappointed with Xu Guangqi's performance during this period.

Li Rumei nodded when she heard the words, then reached out and scratched her face a few times.

"Oh, that's right, that's true. It's just that this appearance is much uglier than a recruit's egg. It's the first time I saw someone crying like this after killing someone. Governor, he won't just go crazy like this?"

"If you go crazy, you go crazy, it just means that I misjudged the person, and it's no big deal."

Xiao Ruxun turned around and walked to the edge of her seat and sat down.

"Does the Governor expect anything from him? Although he is a Juren, it is not worth the expectation, right? At least there are more Jinshi than Juren, and this guy looks like a failed Juren who didn't pass the exam."

Li Rumei's sense of Xu Guangqi is very bad, it has always been.

"My expectation of him is not simple, I expect him to be a different person, but maybe I am too hasty, he hasn't seen what is real cruelty, what is a real hypocrite, what is a painful choice, no Seeing those bad things in the officialdom, he hasn't changed yet, so the current him is far from meeting my requirements."

Li Rumei didn't quite understand what Xiao Ruxun meant.

"What is the Governor going to do? Get him back?"

Xiao Ruxun hesitated for a moment.

"Keep it for now and see what happens next. If he doesn't improve, send him back to his hometown! If he can't pass this test, this person will almost be useless."

"As ordered!"

Li Rumei looked contemptuously at Xu Guangqi who was curled up on the ground crying bitterly, and curled her lips in displeasure.

(End of this chapter)