Rebirth of the strongest female nun

Chapter 243 Awakening
After Ye Junhua left, Hua Ruomi sat alone in silence.

In the past, she always felt that the most difficult distance between her and Ye Junhua was the incompatibility of the world and ethics.He is the master, and he is the disciple. The combination of master and disciple cannot be tolerated even in the comprehension world composed of these comprehension practitioners who vowed to practice against the sky.

When she was lucky enough to be reborn after death, she did not forget the obsession in her previous life. She still fell in love with Ye Junhua at first sight, and she was deeply trapped in it, unable to extricate herself.

Without secular public opinion, this time, she and Ye Junhua finally admitted their feelings for each other, but to be honest, even before the two were not involved in these chaotic things, in those simple and warm days, in Deep down in her heart, she was also uneasy for no reason.

It seemed that there was a voice in the dark that kept telling her that things were not that simple.

Happiness is not so easy to be caught in her hands!
But now, she suddenly realized what the problem between the two of them was.

People say that there is no love without a source, and there is no hate without a source.

She said that she loves Ye Junhua, but she never seems to understand, what is it about Ye Junhua that she loves?
appearance?Talent?character?Or status?
She seemed to have never thought about these things, as if she was dominated by an inexplicable impulse, and she said "like" and "love" without thinking about it at all.

It is true that Ye Junhua is very good, very outstanding, gentle and considerate and attractive.But to her, perhaps more important is that Ye Junhua stretched out his hand to her when she was the loneliest and most helpless, tender and caring. Affection should be born from that faint family affection.

It's just that no matter what her feelings for Ye Junhua are, she has always forgotten to consider another point. For Ye Junhua, what exactly does he want?
She only remembered that when he was her teacher, he was very indifferent to everything. She thought he was just indifferent by nature, but she forgot to think that even if he was indifferent by nature, he would Have goals and pursuits.

Ye Junhua's pursuit is definitely not just to be in love with her.

She remembered that she once asked the old man Qi Ling why that evil thought would stay in Ye Junhua's soul, instead of Ye Aotian's body, which was born of evil.

The old man Qi Ling told her at the time that evil thoughts are not something created out of thin air, but something that exists in everyone's body and mind. It is only magnified. When the evil thoughts are infinitely magnified, people will forget other emotions that they originally cared about, and instead only focus on the thing that makes him have evil thoughts, thus falling into the devil's way, because "demon" is persistence, It is the obsession that is either hidden or displayed in the human heart.

At that time, she didn't think about it, but she just wanted to pull Ye Junhua back from the road of becoming a demon, and restore everything to its original state.

Thinking about it now, maybe she has never really thought about Ye Junhua, never really thought about what he wants, what he is pursuing, she just wants him to be with her and live the kind of life she thought about. life, but never asked Ye Junhua if he was sincerely willing to live such a life?
What is Ye Junhua's obsession?What kind of obsession made him a demon?Just because of yourself?Or, in the depths of his heart that she doesn't understand, are there other attachments hidden?
Ye Junhua has always been polite, indifferent and distant.He never seemed close to anyone, not even his parents, sister, or even herself.

She can feel that Ye Junhua loves her, he is gentle and doting on her, he can't help but protect her, this seemingly close emotion makes her often feel that this closeness is always separated by a thin film , so that she can't tell clearly, she always feels that she can't see through, can't figure it out.

Perhaps, she has never really understood Ye Junhua, never understood his inner desires and desires, let alone truly understood the real reason why he became a demon.

Maybe it has something to do with her, but it's not just because of her.

She has been avoiding thinking about this question, because she doesn't want to let herself think that people like Ye Junhua have demonic nature in their hearts. She is afraid that her thoughts will insult him, but she never thought about it. Maybe her thoughts are just She took it for granted that she forcibly put her thoughts on Ye Junhua, forcing him to become the kind of person she wanted to see.

If he wasn't the kind of righteous, selfless, chivalrous, heroic, talented and nearly perfect person she wanted to see, would she still love him so persistently?What if his nature is what it is now, indifferent, cruel, ruthless, unscrupulous, obsessed with power, and likes to control and manipulate people?Will she continue to love him as before?
Thinking of this, Hua Ruomi was suddenly stunned.

Such in-depth thinking made her seem to have pushed herself into a dead end. If she couldn't figure it out, she couldn't continue walking.

However, for a while, she couldn't make a judgment, couldn't figure out what her heart wanted, did she really want to be with Ye Junhua and just live an ordinary and peaceful life?Or deep down in her heart, she also wants to be vigorous, to be famous in history, and to be famous in the Three Realms of Gods and Demons?
All of a sudden, Hua Ruo Mi was confused, her heart was confused, and her mind was confused. This state of confusion made her anxious, she stood up unconsciously, and told Gulan who was waiting outside the door to help her take care of the little girl. After a while, she needs time and space to think about these issues that she has never thought deeply about.

Walking out of Ziyue Palace, Hua Ruomi moved unconsciously, thinking over and over again about the series of questions just now, but sadly found that she seemed to have never even figured out her own heart, let alone figured out Ye Junhua's. upset.

At first, she just wanted to gain enough power to control her life freely, but she never thought that no matter how advanced her cultivation was, her life seemed to be completely out of her control.

Wanting to protect mother, mother died in front of her.She wanted to grow old together with Ye Junhua, Ye Junhua became a demon, and she became a fairy, separating the two worlds, she came to this demon world desperately to find Ye Junhua, and reconnect with him, but now she ended up like this. Break up with him.

Is all this really because she doesn't have enough strength?
Perhaps not so, no matter how powerful the force is, there is something that cannot be controlled, and that is the human heart.

She couldn't control her heart to fall in love with Ye Junhua, she couldn't control her mother's heart so that she wouldn't die for her because of concern and love, she couldn't control Ye Junhua's obsession in her heart, she could only let him become a demon, in the current situation, Maybe it's fate, or maybe it's the result of their respective personalities and dispositions, and they can't blame anyone.

Hanging his head to die bitterly, his eyes fell on a section of the hem of the clothes unexpectedly. The purple clothes with dragon patterns belonged to Ye Junhua.

Raising his head, he saw Ye Junhua standing in front of his eyes. He glanced around, but found that he had unknowingly walked into the purple bamboo forest in the back hall of the Demon Palace. There was a spring in the depths of the bamboo forest. It also added a bit of aura to the purple bamboo forest.

Ye Junhua said: "Is the child asleep?"

Hua Ruomi knew what he meant to ask why she was free, so she smiled slightly and replied: "Tuanzi is asleep, Gu Lan is watching him, the room is so stuffy, I'll come out to get some air."

Ye Junhua nodded, and then fell silent.

Hua Ruomi glanced at him secretly, but saw that he was looking at her with deep eyes, and when she turned her head, there was a little panic in her eyes.

Hua Ruomi was taken aback for a moment, then blurted out and asked him: "You said that after becoming a demon, your memories of the past still exist, right?"

Ye Junhua was slightly stunned, and nodded.

Hua Ruomi continued: "I observed other people in this demon clan. Although they have the same demonic nature as you, their emotions do not exist, let alone give up. You said that you have forgotten your emotions with your memory. What is it? Is it true or not? Is it true or false? For you, what is more important is not those feelings, but the power you control now, so you are not forgetting, but from the beginning to the end, you have never really faced your true self. Have you ever Have you thought about it, maybe the you before you became a demon was the you who suppressed your true temperament, but the you now is the real you?"

Ye Junhua was stunned when he heard the words, and looked at Hua Ruomi in astonishment, his expression was too shocking, but Hua Ruomi almost confirmed his deduction in an instant.

Ye Junhua's expression changed from shock to bewilderment, and then became as clear as enlightenment.

Hua Ruomi suddenly smiled wryly and sighed: "It turns out that we are the real fools. We have lived for so long, but we never dare to admit and face our true selves. I always want to grasp something to prove the value of my existence, but no matter what When I was Bai Yuening, or now as Hua Ruo Mi, I never caught anything, I couldn't let my mother who really cared about me and loved me live, and I never really caught your heart."

"I always feel that all this is because my cultivation base is too poor, I have no strength, and I am often influenced by others. Now, it seems that maybe it was because my heart was not firm enough, and I didn't even have what I wanted. I figured it out, but I just went on a rampage blindly, wanting to get affection, want to be free, whether it is family, friendship, or love, what I pay is limited, I always expect others to take care of my emotions, I have no mother from the heart I have thought about it, and I always want to prove that I am capable enough to let her live happily even when she leaves home, but I failed to protect her and let her die because of it. I have never really understood you, but I just keep chasing, wanting to pull you and be with you, but I never really understand what you need, what you want, such me, in the end, I'm just a self-righteous selfish ghost!"

"So, Junhua..." Hua Ruomi suddenly raised her head, fixedly looked at Ye Junhua who was already shocked, and smiled slightly.

"No matter what you want to do, as long as it is what you really want, I will support you, because I have thought about it for so long, the moment I saw you just now, I finally understood, maybe I don't understand other things, I have not tried my best to do many things, but I am sure, I really love you, no matter what kind of person you are, I love you, so I plan to understand you sincerely, think about you sincerely, sincerely I will work hard to be with you and live the life you and I both want!"

　This chapter mainly writes about the true inner feelings of the characters. Xiao Wu always feels that Ruo Mi’s love is a bit groundless and unstable, and the temperaments of the hero and heroine are a bit confused, so I want to use this chapter to explain it clearly. It is also paving the way for the drama behind.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)