Hunter and Hussar

Chapter 88 I Only Care About You

"Does it hurt?"

I shook my head.Like an old tailor, Mi Le helped me remove the sling on my shoulder bit by bit slowly and precisely like measuring the size, as if a slight deviation of the movement would make a huge mistake.The sound of the Velcro being pulled creaked in the empty bathroom, as if it came from the darkness and silence deep in the room.There is hot water in the afternoon, no one is there, but the lights are not turned on.Neither of us took a shower yesterday, so we chatted in the dormitory for a while and then came to the first floor with a basin.

I put the unloaded sling into the basin, and Mi Le took off his socks.The two of us walked to the row of benches in the middle of the changing room in the bathhouse, and Mi Le stood on it barefoot, so that he was much taller than me.I obediently let him help me peel off the clothes from behind one by one, like peeling vegetables, I don't know, after all, I have never helped my family when cooking.I closed my eyes, listening to this soft rustling, engulfed in the dimness of the bathhouse, I wanted to doze off a little.It is indeed nap time.sleepy.

"I can't spare that brat Xin Xin." Mi Le almost spit out the words from his mouth.He helped me put my clothes into the basin without jumping off the chair.

"Ghost, little ancestor, I told you several times that I hurt my hand myself. It has nothing to do with that brat. Ah, can you not think so hot?"

I turned to look at him, and finally once, it was my turn to "look up" to him.In the dark bathroom, only leaves of light came through the blinds behind Mi Le, floating on my body one by one, like little snakes swimming in the dark.

"I don't care! Anyway, he got your hands first! If he doesn't kick, you won't be hurt at night!" He bit his lips tightly, "Don't try to take the matter to yourself. What should you do? It’s what it is! Ye Ruiyang told me yesterday afternoon, and Taotao also told me. Do you think I don’t know if I don’t see it?”

"Okay, I understand you, I understand you." I stretched out my right hand, which only reached Mi Le's waist.I patted it lightly twice, and looked at him with grateful eyes.

"Hmph. You're here again, and you don't even want to face me." Mi Le pouted, stretched out his foot and kicked me, but he didn't use much force. "You're really a great saint."

Maybe it was Mi Le who was kicked, I would say the same.If I saw it with my own eyes on the field, my reaction would at least be no less than that of Ye Ruiyang, maybe I would rush up to strangle someone like I did three years ago.Not necessarily, I'm the captain now, and Jiang Xiaofei's move didn't look like it was intentional.

"Why are you dumb? Idiot Keke." He glanced at me unwillingly, and I was distracted again. He didn't notice it, and squatted down on the chair to ask if it hurt just now.I shook my head, so he told me to turn around.I listened to him, only to get another kick in the ass.

"It's better to kick here, you can kick it with confidence. If you kick it from the front, it will be miserable." He changed his tone of complacency, and quietly lay on my right shoulder.

"Ke Ke, I want to ask you something."

"You said."

After being kicked and said by him just now, I am not sleepy at all, and even have some inexplicable special feelings.But his question made me uneasy—I didn't tell him the whole truth.Zhao Rui did this to me in the past, and today I did it to Mi Le again.I didn't tell a big lie, I just hid some of the truth.Admittedly, part of the truth may not be the truth.

I didn't mention what Li Bin's mother did, either to me or to Xianxian.I just told him that it was too late that day, it was dark, there were no lights in the factory area, and it was raining heavily, and I hurt my hand myself.

Ke Mi Le is so smart, if he finds some flaws and asks me all the way, how long can I hold on?Once he finds out that I'm lying to him, will he be angry and not even want to play with me anymore?I don't want to lie, and I don't want to lie to my best friend.But... I don't want him to get involved in these things anymore.Maybe, I mean maybe, I was trying to keep Miller out.This is my own business, and all the consequences will be borne by me.I know that no matter what I say to Mi Le, he will listen and carry it with me without hesitation.But I don't want him to carry it with me, and passing on the distress won't relieve much of the burden, but it will make my best friend feel sad with me.He has been worrying about his grandfather for a whole day, and I don't want him to suffer because of me anymore, and I don't want him to hate Li Bin or his mother, they have nothing to do with him.

It is enough for Mi Le to kick me beside me well.

"Then I said..."

nod.

His voice was thin and light, like the wind blowing on my ears.But after he finished speaking, he couldn't help but put on a hippie smile.My face was flushed.

"Get out! I can do it myself! I don't want it!"

"Don't force it." He grabbed my cheeks on both sides and rubbed them like a ball of dough.

"No! It's just not!" I held my head high, and walked to the cabinet with my basin in my hands.When I took off my pants with one hand, I once again felt the difficulty and jerky of missing a part of my body.I couldn't stand firmly, couldn't take it off, I was like a child who just learned to put on clothes, or a clown in a show, entangled in my pants, shaking uncontrollably, anxious and anxious gas.Suddenly, I felt that I had become a useless person, unable to do small things well.Mi Le must be gloating, which makes me want to prove myself even more.Health is really a precious thing only after you lose it. It was so easy to do things with two hands before. No one would think that this is a luxury and happiness.In an inexplicable anxiety, I couldn't stand firm and slipped.If I did fall, I'd probably be pounding my fists on the tiled floor or yelling in frustration.It's really shameful that you can't even control your own body, and you don't have any dignity in your life.No wonder Mu Zheng was so desperate when he was sick, all his patience and confidence were challenged, and he was defeated without suspense.

Miller held me up.

"Hey, I said, don't make things difficult for yourself like this. Come on, wouldn't it be more convenient to sit on a chair and take it off?" He coaxed me, lifted my half-taken-off trouser legs, and moved me step by step. bench.

"Help me." I hummed with my head down, wrapping my lower lip in my mouth.

"Yeah!" He nodded diligently, deliberately raised his head and smiled at me.

"thank you."

He didn't say anything, after helping me take off the waterweed-like trousers, he quietly pressed his forehead against me.

Maybe one day, I'll be sick, or grow old.On that day, I couldn't dress and take off my pants by myself, and I couldn't take a bath by myself. I even needed help from others to go to the toilet.Maybe reality and life are like this, and it can make you hate it in the most boring and simple way.I don't know what I'll be like then.I'm still young, and in a few months my arm will be as good as if nothing happened.But that day will always come, birth, old age, sickness and death are always with us.Probably just like I thought before, when people want to find a partner, they are probably afraid.Fear of being alone, of the darkness of falling asleep at night, of disease, old age, death, and oblivion.You need someone who is similar to you to be around.That person can't stop all of this from coming, and you can't stop it either, you can only accompany and bear it together.Although life, old age, sickness and death are all a matter of one person, there may be a moment when a person who is very close to you can feel you personally.Maybe it's just a moment, but with such a moment, it seems that you can say "this life is not in vain"?

As the hot water gushed out from the faucet and flowed over my body, I thought of this, and I couldn't help kicking the slippers on my feet far under the opposite faucet.Miller kicked it back for me, and it splashed like stars across two streams.In the curtain of falling water, I thought of the darkroom of a photo studio. Someone should have developed photos in this way in the years after I was born.Bathing seems to be the shaking, tossing and washing of the human body and shadows in the dark room, the water is rushing, and the hot air is churning in the bathroom with only patches of light, as if it will never stop.Time passed year by year, the photos remained, but the person disappeared, leaving only a pair of eyes fixed in the photos.

I kind of want to run under Mi Le's faucet.Pretending to wash together, while washing and washing, I suddenly touched the foam in front of his eyes, making him want to chase and beat me but couldn't find it.It must be interesting.

"Have you seen it before?" Mi Le tilted his head, looking at the old man who handed us the menu.He is gray-haired and wears a crisp shirt.After taking a bath, the two of us slept quietly on our stomachs for a while, like two kittens who crawled out of the water and basked in the sun until they fell asleep.Afterwards, Mi Le asked me to treat him to dinner—it was my birthday.In fact, he didn't say anything, and I was going to wait until that weekend to take him to my house to play.But what he wanted was a separate meal, like the one he took me to the day before my birthday.That was the happiest day of the whole summer vacation. We finished cram school in the morning, did not do homework, did not go to practice, stuck on the sofa and played mobile games all afternoon, changing various postures.First they lived on both sides, then they changed back to back or shoulder to shoulder, and then they hung their feet on the back of the sofa (my dad must say me when he saw me before), and finally he used my knees as a pillow.The sunlight rolled on the floor through the glass windows, the air conditioner was blowing a refreshing breeze, and on the table were two cans of Coke taken out of the refrigerator, which were bubbling vigorously.From afternoon to night, it seemed that there were only the two of us left in the whole world. We didn't think about anything, and we were so happy to be lazy for half a day in the air-conditioned room.

"It seems to be." The old man's eyes, deeply sunken in wrinkles and eye sockets, flickered, "Have you ever eaten at Jinbaodao Restaurant in Jiangdongmen? I am the boss, and I opened a branch here this year."

"Hey, boss, are you from Taiwan Province?" Mi Le's eyes lit up.The boss's accent is indeed a bit Taiwanese.

"Yes, I have been in mainland China for many years." The old man smiled and nodded.

"I remember! Yes! I ate there last year, it was the two of us!" Mi Le gave me two OK gestures, "I almost forgot. The last time was after going to the memorial hall The fish here is a little salty, I told the boss, and you gave us a fruit plate."

"This time the fish will not be salty, and the fruit plate will continue to be delivered." The boss politely left the menu and left.It was not until five o'clock, and there were still very few people in the store.After ordering, Mi Le came to my side from the opposite side, said a few words and drove me to the seat inside.I was a little puzzled, but let him sit next to me.

"Why? I don't want you to feed me. I can still handle it by myself." I blushed and looked out the window.

"Forget it, I'm not happy if you want me to feed you!" He pinched my thigh, "I have something to tell you."

You don't want to ask about yesterday again, do you?I finally realized how difficult it is to hide a secret, and when Mi Le leaned closer to me, I would not tell myself.No wonder Pu Yun wanted to leave our class. It was so difficult for Zhao Rui. We had to see him at least once a week. Every time we saw him, he would give me a high-five. I never saw anything unusual about him.Keeping a secret takes perseverance.

"Hey, don't be so nervous. Don't worry, my grandpa is really fine. I told you only after I was sure he was safe, just because I was afraid you would be worried." He shook my right arm, "He didn't wake up I was scared to death when I was there, and I didn't want to make you like me."

It turns out that we are about the same.Whether I am pleased or distressed, perhaps with a hint of bitterness, I smiled and patted his shoulder with my right hand.We looked at the window facing the street tacitly, and the daylight at nearly five o'clock was much brighter than that in the morning.

"Sometimes, I always want to go faster, grow up quickly, and be successful soon. I have to be successful before my relatives get old, so that they can live a good life quickly-of course, it's not what my grandpa said The life of a corrupt official surrounded by secretaries and beauties." He looked at the light on the white tablecloth, which was spotless, "But this time when I go back, I suddenly feel that it is very good to be with my loved ones. I If I spend all my time on growing up, will I miss a lot of things? Like spending time with them. It may take me more than ten years to make myself decent, but in a blink of an eye, I may find that there is no more How much time can I spend with them. What should I do?"

"I don't know. But I know that it's right to work hard and be with your loved ones. Maybe you can do both at the same time."

"It would be great if I could succeed immediately. Forget it, after all, I'm still lazy, so I know how to blame others." He scratched his head embarrassedly.

"Why? You're not lazy at all, and you haven't complained much. People who are really lazy and complain don't want to get ahead."

"I'm just lazy. You personally certified this." He smiled and pointed a finger at me, "Here, remember? I stayed on your bed on the first day of military training and refused to get on it."

"I was talking nonsense. Why are you holding grudges like this? Please forget about it!" I reluctantly stretched out my remaining hand to him, and I might have clasped my fists to beg him normally.

"Oh, I'm just kidding, I just remembered." He blinked mischievously, "I'm a Cancer, but unlike you, Scorpio is the most vengeful."

"So don't feel lazy. Mi Le is obviously very hardworking."

"Obviously he is very diligent and hardworking, but Mi Le...is pretty good. If you only need to work hard to succeed, then success is too easy. It's okay in school now, and you will get better grades if you work harder. In the future The society doesn’t know what will happen. Sometimes you try your best, but it may not be as good as others just playing around.”

"What's wrong with you? So depressed?" I subconsciously reached out and touched Mi Le's forehead, and then touched my own. It wasn't very hot.

"No fever, no nonsense. Don't worry. I just suddenly feel that I seem to have wasted a lot of time. I should have spent time with my family." He licked his lips and shook his head slightly.

"sorry."

"What?"

"I was wasting your time. I'm sorry. I involved you too much with my own affairs. I was too selfish." I heard the overtones and hung my head.I have always been knowledgeable.All good things come to an end.When people don't want me anymore, I'll go, go right away, go far away, and won't wait for people to chase me away.

"No, that's not what I meant..."

"I'm sorry. It's me who has been pestering you and asking you to stay by my side to do this and that. In fact, you don't have this obligation and responsibility. You can go home every weekend. It's my own problems that dare not go home , still dragging you along. I'm sorry, I wasted a year of your time, and I took half a summer vacation away. If you go back to spend more time with grandpa, maybe he won't fall. I'm sorry, if you think The two of us are too close, I can take the initiative to stay far away. You don’t need to eat together or go to cram school, if you want to change dormitories, I will also..."

"Kopevi! Are you out of your mind?" He interrupted me who was chattering, and threw a napkin to me with some annoyance, "Crazy! I haven't seen you for a day, is your brain caught by the door? What nonsense?"

"Sorry……"

"You just know 'I'm sorry'! Where did you go wrong? Do you want to be so sorry?" He grabbed my face hard, "If you are sick, you need to be cured!"

I swallowed the last "sorry" back in my throat.

"You don't trust me so much, you always think I'm going to kick you out? Twice in one weekend! I'm going to be mad at you." He scratched my nose aggressively, and I let him dictate, "My parents were originally They are often on business trips, and they seldom stay at home on weekends. If I come back, I will go to eat with them? Where do I feel that you are wasting my time? I wanted to thank you for being with me all the time! Big idiot!"

After all, he asked me to promise that I would never dare again.Of course I have to.It happened to be served, and he helped me pick up a piece of fish and put it in the bowl.Tasted it, it was really not that salty.

"I'm so afraid of losing them." He wiped his mouth and stared at me blankly.

I didn't speak.To be honest, when he said this, I was a little flustered.

"Once you're gone, you never see them again. Ha, that's bullshit. But I'm scared. I wonder if I'm old enough to think about these things? Maybe."

I'm afraid too, and I don't know.I said nothing, but he should know.After a while, we didn't say anything.

"In fact, there is always some time worth wasting. The main thing is to see what is wasted." He said while serving food, "Perhaps in the eyes of the dean, as long as we are not studying in the classroom, we are all wasting time."

"Lao Ye's father must think so too." I said after regaining some vitality.

"Yes. However, people always waste their own time. As long as you don't think it's a waste, or you know it's a waste and think it's worth it, then that's acceptable. There seems to be a poem in the magazine of the Literature Society , I don’t remember the title, what is it called "I Want to Waste Time with You"?" [1]
I'm ashamed to tell him that I haven't read the magazine.My sister will definitely say that she wants to slap me again when she finds out.

"I never thought staying with you was a waste of time. I don't care who thinks I'm wasting time just to make them feel better, but you're not allowed to feel that way, understand?"

nod.

"I'm asking you something."

"Come on, little ancestor, why do you have so many questions today? I haven't seen you for a day!"

"It's the last one for today. It's strange to say that it seems like a week has passed since I haven't seen you for a day. Maybe the time is like this. When you are in a traffic jam, you go very slowly, and when you are in an exam, you walk very fast." He tilted his head. He turned to me, "Listen up. If one day, I get along just fine, but lose my memory, and besides you, I don't have any relatives or friends around me, what will you do?"

"I...I'll stay with you until you remember everything." Without thinking too much.

"But I couldn't remember you at all at that time, maybe I would really drive you away. So you want to accompany me?"

"Accompany me. If you drive me away, I won't leave."

"really?"

"Really. I'll take you to do what we did before, go to school together, read books together, play games together, do homework together, and play football together. I'll call everyone back, play together, maybe I can remember."

"But what if I think very slowly and take up a lot of your time? For example, you could write a very good poem, but it takes you a long time, a long time to write. To take care of me, you just Can't write poems anymore, will you still accompany me?"

"As you said just now, this is not a waste of time. There is always someone who is worth your time and energy. I don't want to be a poet. Without people, even the best things are gray and meaningless."

"Okay, let's eat."

We continued to eat.

"I won't let you make this kind of choice. Don't worry." After eating for a while, he wiped his mouth and leaned into my ear, leaving a light and safe guarantee.

"Is the fish salty?" Seeing that we were almost done eating, the boss put the fruit plate on our table as promised.

"No, it's delicious." Mi Le snapped his fingers cleverly.

"By the way, do you want to change the background music? Do you young people like Jay Chou more?"

If it wasn't for the boss' mention, neither Mi Le nor I cared about the background music in the restaurant.It seems to be integrated into our chats and meals, gentle and delicate, existing all the time like soft sunshine, unnoticed but conveying a touch of comfort.

"I like Jay Chou very much. But I also heard Teresa Teng, my parents like her very much."

I also nodded.My parents said the same thing.

"Maybe when we reach your age, Boss, everyone will think that Jay Chou is an old singer that young people have never heard of. But classics will always be classics, and they won't change with time." Mi Le said , poked on the phone, and released a video.It turned out that on the occasion of the 22nd anniversary of Teresa Teng's death, Japanese fans used holographic projection technology to reproduce her image on stage.Without warning, she suddenly appeared on the stage like a shadow, bowed to the audience who had passed away, and sang "I only care about you". The lingering sound is still there, and the gestures are so real that people on and off the screen have the illusion that she has never gone away.After the song was over, she said goodbye like in the past, and disappeared quietly like a dream.

The lost time seems to come back at that moment.

"Boss... I saw that there is a stage for singing in your store. Can I sing a song?" I felt an impulse churning in my head, urging me to do something right away.The boss readily agreed and asked me what I wanted to sing, and I said it was "I Only Care About You" by Teresa Teng.Mi Le covered his mouth in surprise, it was indeed unprecedented, I never sang in front of others.Of course, empty restaurants gave me more courage.If a table of people came in suddenly, I might not dare to go up.

"I want to give this song to someone who is very, very important to me. Please forgive me for not singing well."

The accompaniment remembered, and I cleared my throat.After listening to and learning to sing for so long this morning, I think it's time for me to learn something.Although there is no way to compare with him, I also want to try my best to sing well and let that person hear it.

if i didn't meet you

where will i be

how is your day

走入 无边人 海 里

不 要 什么 诺言
live an ordinary life

我 不 能 只 依靠
片片 回忆活 下去

time flies by

I only care about you

Willing to infect your breath
Life geometry can get a confidant
It's not a pity to lose all your strength

所以 我 求求 你

don't let me leave you

I can't feel anything but you
一 丝 丝情意
"Ke Ke, you sing better than I imagined. No wonder, your sister sings very well! The family inheritance, the genes are too strong! But you sang it upside down, and you remembered the words wrong! You need to check first Look up the lyrics and sing! Boss, don’t you? You don’t hear much at first glance. My parents like to play songs while driving. By the way, you are singing for your brother, right? He sure is I can hear it. He didn't leave us, never, even though I haven't seen him, just like Teresa Teng didn't leave the person who likes her. Maybe one day he will come back to us, isn't Teresa Teng back? Is it? We can do it. We don't have amnesia. Right? Well, I know I've been a little talkative today, especially with questions. I'm not asking you this time, and you don't have to answer. Don't worry, don't worry , I understand you. Come on, let's eat fruit, it won't taste good after a long time."

[1] What Mi Le is talking about is probably "I Want to Spend Time with You", the author is the poet Li Yuansheng.It may be that the magazine of the literary society excerpted the poem.The content is as follows:
I want to spend time with you, like looking down at fish

Such as leaving the tea cup on the table and leaving
Waste their beautiful shadows

I also want to waste the sunset together, such as taking a walk
Until the sky is full of stars
I still want to waste time when the wind is rising

Sitting in the hallway in a daze, until dark clouds in your eyes
All blown out of the window

I have wasted the world, it passed me

Tired and like never been loved

But tomorrow I will be like this, wasting
Full of flowers and plants, life should be as beautiful as them

It’s as meaningless, like a wasted movie
those desperate loves and dying

Bring us a short silence
I want to waste each other with you
Let’s spend a short silence together, and a long meaningless

Spend the delicate and old universe together
Such as leaning on the railing and looking down at the mirror of the water

Until all the things that are wasted

Behind us grow thin wings
　Candy, candy!It should be sweet again!

　　It's time to go back to fighting again!It will be very tragic!
　　
　
(End of this chapter)