Chapter 6

"Didn't it just be said that no matter what I say, you can't be angry."

I threw the pillow and clothes on the floor, Mi Le picked them up, patted the ashes, and put them back on my bed.

"You're just lying to me." I leaned against the wall, lost my energy and lost my temper.My head is tight and tight, and it hurts a little.

"I came to this school alone, and I didn't know anyone. You were the first person to be kind to me. You helped me pass things, changed my bed, gave me food, and helped me put sanitary napkins in my shoes..."

"Don't mention sanitary napkins!" I blushed again, not just because of anger.

"I'm sorry... that is, you take good care of me, so I want to treat you better."

"So you sold my news to my sister?" I turned my face away and didn't want to look at him.

"No."

"What did she tell you? About Xianxian?"

"No, just let me pay more attention to you and tell her in time if there is anything." He drooped his head, "I don't know who Xianxian is, I just know that you lost a very important relative."

"You still don't admit it!" I kicked him, but it was useless.

It's me who didn't call myself.

"But, after your sister told me, I think... I really need to do something. I'm afraid..."

"What are you afraid of? Oh, are you here to take pity on this troubled child, so that he doesn't suddenly get overwhelmed?"

"That's not what it means." His eyes were red, "I'm just afraid..."

Well, now I made him cry too.

We sniffed for a while, and when he remembered something, he pulled out napkins from his bag, one for each of us.After the tossing, we both calmed down a little.Time to deal with this.

"Xianxian is my younger brother. My name is Ke Peiwei, and his name is Ke Peixian, that's all. Only you know, don't tell others. Otherwise, we will not be friends."

He nodded vigorously, his hair fluffing up.

"Sleep." I leaned my head against the pillow, and suddenly found that it was still covered with a layer of dust, but I could only endure it.

"That..." He stood on the ladder and pulled down his pillow, "Shall we sleep together today?"

"What?"

"Your pillow is dirty."

"Dirty is dirty."

"But that's my pillow, I can't stand it being soiled."

"Didn't we change?"

"That's mine too! Let's go!"

He took my pillow away at once and put it on the bench, then stuffed the pillow that once belonged to me onto the bed, turned around and turned off the light, asked me to move a seat for him, and squeezed in.I sometimes toss and turn and can’t sleep by myself, but knowing someone is close to me, the drowsiness becomes contagious.After Mi Le returned home, he obviously took a shower, and his hair still had the fragrance of shampoo, which could be smelled back to back.

A long time ago, before our house had bunk beds, I would sleep on the same bed with Xian Xian.We are still very young, we don't have much sleep patterns, and we can stretch our limbs as we feel comfortable.I often wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, maybe I kicked the opponent, or my hand was numb from the pressure of the head.After waking up, he continued to sleep, as if to make sure that the other party was still by his side.When we wake up the next day, we will be in a relief-like sleeping position of various shapes. It is not unusual to be upside down and end to end.Perhaps the biggest joy of my parents' day is to sneak into the room when they wake us up, and secretly take pictures of our posture with their mobile phones.When I realized their fun, I insisted on changing to a bunk bed.

I know that my parents want to buy a new house, and I and Xianxian will have our own rooms.I heard that every child's growth begins with saying goodbye to parents and brothers and learning to sleep alone.He is no longer afraid of the dark, no longer afraid of ghosts, and can cope with the long night without the company of his relatives.

That being the case, why do people get married?Why go back to falling asleep with someone else?Is it true that when people grow up, their hearts become smaller?
Xianxian didn't wait for her own room, and I didn't care about whether to move or not.My own room doesn't appeal to me anymore.

"Ke Ke."

"how?"

"You can hug me if you can't sleep."

"what?"

"Because I see you always sleep with your goalkeeper gloves in your arms. By the way, do you want me to buy you a pillow? I'm also used to sleeping with something in my arms."

"That's a gift from Xianxian." He whispered softly.Anyway, he already knows, it is better to tell him.

"No wonder you like it so much, you still take it with you when you go to military training."

"If I carry it with me at all times like now, Xianxian will still be there."

It was a game two years ago, I didn't go because I had a high fever all day.Xianxian and Zhao Rui went, and called me in the evening, saying that they had a 1:1 tie.Zhao Rui said on the phone that if I came today, maybe we would win.As my understudy, he was always so humble, which made me a little uncomfortable.

Xianxian said that Zhao Rui performed very well today, and his progress is getting bigger and bigger.

Hearing this, I wanted to find my gloves.Maybe it's the sense of crisis as the main force, maybe it's jealousy, maybe there are some other emotions, all mixed together by the hot head.However, I couldn't find the gloves, so I became anxious.This is always the case when looking for things, the more urgent you are, the more you can't find them.I started throwing things around, yelling, like crazy.My parents knocked on the door and asked what happened, and I locked the door.I scold them when they kick the door.

Xianxian has been calling to ask me what's going on.After a while, I told him that the gloves he gave me were lost.

"Brother, don't worry, it's okay. I'll buy you a new one right away, wait until I get home!"

I calmed down and found it later in a small satchel.The line of poem on the fingertip is still there: "Heaven and earth have righteousness, mixed with manifolds".

"Brother, if you are a goalkeeper, you must have aura. I wrote Wen Tianxiang's poems on your gloves. You must have such awe-inspiring righteousness when you are guarding the goal!" Hearing this, I smiled rarely.

It was very late, and Xianxian didn't come back.I unlocked the door and went out, only to find that my parents were not there.

I sat waiting in the living room, in my thick pajamas and pajamas, watching the dim light in the dining room.It consists of several small light bulbs, and there are many crystal pendants on the outside.As soon as you turn on the light, you can see countless diamond-like rhombic shadows shaking on the wall.Our family always ate around the flickering light.

Today, several small bulbs on this lamp did not light up.I waited and waited and almost fell asleep on the sofa, only to wake up just in time to see a light bulb go out like a candle.Not a breath of wind, not the slightest sign.After a few seconds, it flickered tenaciously twice and never came on again.

I got up and twisted it to make it firmer.My mother told me that it may be a bad connection.My hands were burned.I wrapped my hand in a paper towel and retwisted to make sure it was firmly stuck where it belonged.

But it still showed no signs of coming back on.

I'm a little uneasy.

The door opened, and I hurried over, my mother was in front, and my father was behind, they were wearing dark coats, with a deep and icy chill.As soon as Dad came in, he closed the door without a moment's pause.

"Mom? Aren't you going to pick up the strings? What about others?"

I have never seen my mother look so pale.She is like a tree that is about to fall and is trying to support it, trying to control it in front of me.And I felt light all over, as if I had been punched hard, and the whole world was left with a muffled sound that echoed in my head for a long time, and the air around me was surging like a dark tide...

"So brother Xianxian died of a heart attack?"

"Yes. If he doesn't buy gloves, but goes home and rests, it will be all right. It's all my fault."

"Ke Ke, don't think so."

"I killed him, didn't I? I don't dare to admit it."

"Then it's your substitute's fault too. If he knew a little about first aid and rescued him in time, your brother wouldn't have left."

That's why I hate Zhao Rui so much.He kept saying that he was Xianxian's best friend, but in the end he couldn't do anything, and watched him lose his life.And when I saw him and asked him these things, every time he hesitated and said sorry to me, and then pretended to care about me.There are such shameless people in the world.

And he is still in the same class as his sister. During military training, I saw them talking together several times.I complained to my sister about him, but she turned her elbows out to protect the kid.

"Wei Wei, what's the matter? I'm sorry, the teacher is procrastinating. How long have you been waiting?"

After school on the first day of school, I blocked my cousin at the gate of Class [-].I saw Zhao Rui, he greeted me at the door, and he was pretending.I ignored him.

"What have you done?" I sullenly, like a head teacher interrogating a student.

"Ah? No, I, I just..." She probably didn't expect me to ask such a direct question, and she didn't know how to answer for a while.But she understands.

Finally one day, my eyes can make people want to escape.

"Are you filming a spy war drama? Director Zhao, Boss Zhao, Commander Zhao!" I said this on purpose. On the one hand, I was angry, and on the other hand, I wanted to provoke her and have a good fight with her.She went too far this time.

"Don't say that, I just want to care about you. I didn't say anything specific." She patted me on the shoulder tentatively.I shook her hand down.

"That's how you care about me. How about I care about you too?"

"sorry Sorry."

"What are you afraid of? Am I a problem child? I have worked hard in my studies, but I am not as good as you. That's because I'm stupid and you are smart. What else do you want?"

"No, you're not stupid." She stretched out her hand again, but this time I didn't move again, "The three of us grew up together, and Xianxian is gone, am I not sad? Are you all sad? We Once you lose a family member, you cannot lose another.”[1]
"Then you can take care of yourself, go for more physical examinations, find out if you have a heart attack in advance, and treat it well, can't you?"

"How do you talk!" She was a little angry.

"Peve, don't talk to your sister like that, okay?"

It was Zhao Rui who interrupted me. He came out of the classroom with a voice that seemed to be begging me, but in my opinion he was still the same, just because he was a little taller than me, he looked like a little adult, It seems to be chastening me.He is half a year younger than me.

"Go away! You're not from our family, so what's your business? Just because your surname is Zhao?"

After being yelled at by me, he froze at the door of the classroom, staring at me blankly.I really don't understand why this round-headed and silly boy has such a good academic performance.

"Okay, if you don't go, then I'll go! I'll go!" I waved my hands, my nose was sour, and before I left, I didn't forget to tell my sister that you can report to my parents tonight, and I caused trouble at school again. Now they should be at ease.

I ran to the top floor.There was no one there, and the door to the roof was locked, so I just sat outside and cried, wiping my eyes with my hands.My sister came after me, sat down beside me, handed me a piece of paper, and said to wipe it with this.

One after another.

"I don't mean anything else, that is, if I found out earlier, how could Xianxian..." I was almost crying, trying to piece together my own words, "Do you understand? I'm afraid, I'm afraid you also have..."

"It's all right, bro, I've checked, and there's nothing wrong with it." She patted my knee hard, reassuring me, "You're fine, very fine, I've heard from my aunt and uncle. But I'm a little bit uncomfortable rest assured……"

Hearing this made me angry and sad.I don't know how to prove myself, it seems that I have been convicted of an irreversible crime-you are not normal, no matter how good you are, there are problems behind it.And at that moment, I just wanted to prove that I can have another real friend like all ordinary people.To be honest, what my sister did to Mi Le made me feel deeply that I was not trusted by the most important person in my heart.It was like a blow to the head, telling me that you're never going to get better.

"Then what should I do? Is it normal for you to be a problem child, a gangster, not studying hard, skipping classes all day long, loafing around, fighting and smoking? Then you can come to care about me and heal me Oh, isn’t it, it’s a sense of accomplishment, right? I’m the one you give love to? Do you want to choose you as one of the top ten people who touched No. [-] Middle School this year? Help the younger brother with psychological problems get out of the predicament..."

"I just want Wei Wei to be well and be okay." She drew a piece of paper for herself, "I'm sorry, my sister will never do that kind of thing again. Please forgive me."

"I told you, I won't end my life casually. I still owe a lot of things."

I got pushed and slammed into the door behind me.

"Don't say that! What do you mean 'you still owe a lot of things'? Tell you, Copeway, no matter what you owe, no matter who you owe, and no matter when you pay it back, even if you pay it off, you have to pay it back. My old lady is alive and well, do you understand?"

"understood……"

"Next time I say that again, I'll slap you right away." She said close to my ear, her tone softened a little, and tears dripped onto my collar.

"Fan it."

"Then you promise me that no matter what happens, you will not end your life."

"Didn't you promise before?"

"You promise again."

[1] My sister used Zhou Puyuan's lines in "Thunderstorm" here.

(End of this chapter)

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