Hunter and Hussar

Chapter 57 Rastignac
Time flies, and the midterm exam is about to take place in a blink of an eye.Thinking about it, campus life goes round and round, and the only change may be the content of what the teacher teaches every day.They talked, we memorized, chewed and digested at the fastest speed, only the memory of the collision of the teeth, and the peristalsis of the stomach could not be heard.Every day is just three o'clock and one line, dormitories, classrooms, and cafeterias.We are like donkeys pulling the mill with our eyes closed. Sometimes it feels like we have been walking for a long time, and only a little bit of time has passed, and our bodies are still standing still.

Middle school life is the least lack of time, although in the eyes of teachers and parents, 1 minute should not be wasted.But at this age, students who have no worries about food and clothing are destined to have countless things to waste, especially in the first and second grades of junior high school.A cloud passing by outside the window, a gust of wind blowing the leaves after school, or a fight along the way, these seem to attract our attention more.After school at noon every day, walking from the teaching building to the cafeteria, you will pass a row of walls displaying photos of alumni.Under the shadow of tall teaching buildings, faint light spots flickered on the familiar pictures.We have long memorized the names of these predecessors, as well as the birth year following the name-some birth and death years.But we will take a closer look occasionally, because we always feel strange, so strange that we regard them as people who have been engraved in time and have little contact with us.We are far, far away from them, and far, far away from living to their present age.

But maybe it’s not that far away, and I will grow up in a blink of an eye, and I will return to these photos, patiently looking at the curious eyes of our younger generations.Perhaps as long as one is alive, one will never lack time.As long as he can, there are too many things that people can waste.Life is like a big bag, taking away our time little by little, but we don't know where to hide them.

After the evening self-study, I was thinking about this alone, waiting for Mi Le at the gate of the second class.He was still smiling when he slipped out with his schoolbag on his back, not at all like he had a midterm exam tomorrow.Good.

"Keko, 'Now let's fight together'!" He grabbed my arm and swung it up.

"Why, can't you wait for the exam?" I cooperatively swung my arms above my head, fell down, and hit his little head lightly.

"No! It's a sentence at the end of "Old Man Goriot". Haven't you read it?"

"No." Tell the truth.

"Tomorrow is the Chinese test, and I deliberately took out the books I have read before and sorted them out, in order to provide materials for the composition." He shook a notebook in his hand, ""Old Man Gao" is your sister's major in literature. Books recommended by the agency!"

"If you haven't watched it, you haven't watched it. Do you want me to pretend to have seen it to deceive you?" I shrugged.

"Okay, then I'll tell you about it on the way back, maybe you can use it tomorrow."

After that, he pulled me past, avoided the crowd, and walked up the path on the side of the teaching building.It's a bit devious, and there are relatively few street lights. It is said that there are always students who "have a close relationship between men and women" and make an appointment to take that road back to the dormitory or out of the school at night.The school is also unambiguous, and keeps increasing the number of patrols on that road to catch such dishonest students.In fact, it is four or five minutes longer than the normal route.I don't know if there are people who will really "fall into the trap" just to walk the four or five minutes longer together.

Spring in Jiangyuan is short-lived, before the cold is forgotten, the heat of summer slowly covers the earth from the sky.Fortunately, the evening wind at the end of April is still comfortable on the face, as if you can follow it to any corner you want to go after taking two steps.Mi Le told stories from the other side of Eurasia, which fascinated me like the wind blowing. I only hope that the road with lights and lights in front of me will be longer, and a little longer, so that I can blow the wind and listen to the stories for a long time.

"By the way, do you know who the protagonist of "Old Man Gao" is?"

"Old man Gao."

"No, at least not entirely." He blinked mischievously.I knew it must not be that simple, but I obediently took his bait.

"Who is that? I haven't seen it before, so I can only guess."

"Balzac wrote the most about Rastignac, a college student. Let him observe the old man. Rastignac is a younger brother who is a little older than us. He came to Paris to study law from other provinces. His family used to be aristocratic, but he fell into disrepair. No, money is tight. So he can only live in the Vogue apartment. This apartment is a bit like our dormitory. Although there is one room for each person, everyone lives in a very uncomfortable way. There are also various kinds of apartments in the apartment. There are people there, so I feel uncomfortable. Old Man Gao also lives in this apartment, and every time we eat, everyone sits together and makes fun of him. Of course, Rastignac is still good to the old man."

"Is it because old man Gao is poor, like Kong Yiji?"

"It was not poor at first. He was a distinguished guest in the apartment at first, and lived in the best room. Old Man Goriot was not a nobleman, but a flour merchant. His wife died and he had two daughters. He loved them very much and wanted them to enter the upper class. , spent a lot of money to educate them, and bought them dowry. However, the daughter and son-in-law are all white-eyed wolves, and the son-in-law will look down on him after embezzling his wife's property, and the daughter will just keep asking him for money. Old man Gao keeps going Selling property, living in worse and worse rooms, eating less and less, being sucked out of the last penny at the end of the novel, getting seriously ill, and wanted to see his daughter before he died. Rastignac helped him find it, but It’s too late. This old father who loved his daughter all his life was abandoned by his own children. The final funeral was arranged by Rastignac. He spent all his money. The two sons-in-law refused to pay a penny. An empty car was sent for the funeral. Finally, he buried the old man, overlooking the brightly lit Paris on the high cemetery, said the words, "Now let's fight together", and went to challenge the society. "

"Old man Gao is too miserable. So is Rastignac going to rebel against society and avenge him?"

"No. Although I thought so at the beginning." Mi Le pouted and shook his fingers, "I checked later, and he appeared in other novels. After that, he became a man with no bottom line." A person who has no conscience, does not believe in morality and law, only knows that money is paramount, and will do anything to achieve his goals. He made a lot of money and became a high-ranking official, but he degenerated into another person."

"What kind of challenge to society is that?"

"That is to say. He has integrated into that despicable society and has become the darkest side, the worst villain, so bad that no one can do anything to him. Just like what his cousin told him at the beginning, 'The more heartless you are, the higher you are and the faster you rise, you have to hit people mercilessly and make them afraid of you'."

"I hate this guy so much."

"But he is the only person in the whole book who really cares about Old Man Goriot. Without him, Old Man Goriot would die on the street." Mi Le said, sighed, the wind still patted our cheeks softly, "He started out pretty simple, too. He turned bad. I guess I'm kind of like him, too."

"What did you say?" I was not very happy, "You will not become a bad person."

This sentence came out without thinking.

"I think, the reason why Rastignac can understand old man Goriot may be because he sees the shadow of his relatives in old man Goriot, don't you understand?" Seeing that I shook his head, he continued, "Old man Goriot Doesn’t my daughter only care about her old father asking for money? In fact, Rastignac, a college student, is also like this. He has parents and two younger sisters at home far away in the province. He needs money to enter the upper class, so he writes to his mother He and his sister want funding. He is anxious and ashamed, because what he asks from his sisters is their private money. He knows that as long as he asks, they will give it without hesitation. He even knows that he can safely and boldly Squeeze the last drop of blood from his loved ones. Sure enough, he received a reply soon. In his opinion, the money can change his life and determine his destiny. In the letter, his mother said that he didn't have to pretend that he didn't I hope that he will not make detours. Despite this, my mother still loves him and blesses him. She sold all her property to make up the money, and her sick aunt also sold her only souvenirs. Mom said, 'Because I hope to have I only know the taste of poverty when I give my property to my children'. His younger sisters were also very happy when they received the letter from their brother. They gave him all the money without thinking, thinking that women suffer for the one they love It's a joy. Rastignac cried after reading his mother's letter, and felt that he must succeed after reading his sister's letter. The happiness and destiny of the family are all on his back. bring them all..."

Miller was in tears.

I slowly hugged him from behind.A drop fell on my hand and I could feel it.

"I'll ask you something, don't lie and don't get angry, okay?"

"go ahead."

"Are you afraid that you won't do well in the exam tomorrow?"

I felt him step on the tip of my shoe with his heel and twist it, but it was useless.

"I want to cry when I read this passage."

"I understand."

There were few people on the road, and there seemed to be nothing moving except the wind.It's very quiet here, and Mi Le's breathing can even be heard.I don't know what I can do, maybe, I can only accompany him and walk this road with him.

"Actually, I think Rastignac's cousin is quite nice."

"Huh?" Seeing that he took the initiative to talk about other things, I hurriedly gave the most positive response.

"It's a distant cousin, Mme. Beaussian. She's a star in the Parisian society, and everyone revolves around her to curry favor with her. It was she who told Rastignac that innocence is worthless in a cruel society. I mean, do you think she's pretty bad? I didn't like her at first, but later I found out that she saw through the profit-seeking society and knew it was a big mud pit, but she still wanted to resist. She kept pursuing love, Sincerely love others, but was deceived and abandoned one after another. She loved a Spanish Marquis for a long time, but the other party suddenly dumped her in order to marry a lady with many dowries. She chose to leave Paris and the magnificent hall. She was helpless and calm , The exit of self-esteem is still a bit tragic. At the moment of saying goodbye to Rastignac, she said that she often thinks of her cousin because he is kind, noble, young and honest. She thinks this is a good quality and wants her to leave The latter cousin will also think of her. Deep down in her heart, she still yearns for beautiful love and an upright spirit. She has been let down countless times without compromising. She is much better than those who only have money in their eyes..."

"What are you doing here?"

A blinding light slapped us in the face with a stern question.Both of us covered our eyes with our hands, like spies spotted by patrols.

"It's been almost 14 years, and I have been thinking about this question." When the light was removed, I suddenly wanted to answer this way.But the security guard's stare at us and the head of the year looming behind him put me off the idea immediately.

"Sorry, teacher, we came out a bit late after self-study tonight." Mi Le hurriedly bowed his head to apologize to them.

"Do you know that there will be a midterm exam tomorrow?" Rather than asking a question, he seemed to be accusing.

"know."

"Can you go back to sleep right away?"

"Yes, yes, yes, let's go."

We quickly exited helplessly, not very calmly.The grade director didn't say much about us, after all, his task was not to arrest people who discussed Balzac.

"Ke Ke."

"Eh?"

"Thank you. Actually, I was just looking for an excuse. "Old Man Gao" is not a required reading list, and I will definitely not take the exam tomorrow. I wasted your time."

"How come, it can be used for writing essays. Besides, what if you don't take the test? I like listening to your stories very much."

"Okay, I'll read "Red and Black" next time, and I'll tell you about it then."

"I must listen carefully."

"it is good."

Just as Mi Le expected, "Old Man Gao" will not be tested in the Chinese test paper.And the composition also requires us to write "things around us". Obviously France in the 19th century is not around us.

The three days of the exam passed quickly.Before the end of the history and politics exam, I rubbed my sore hands as the "buzzer lore", and my middle finger was almost callused.As soon as the bell rang, everyone couldn't suppress the mood of finishing the exam, and almost dropped the test paper and rushed out of the classroom.The invigilator sensed the restlessness and suppressed the excitement.After collecting the test papers one by one, most of the anger was vented, and everyone walked out of the test room obediently one by one.

"Ke Ke, can we talk about self-study tonight?" Tao Tao, who was in the examination room again, suddenly walked up to me.This is an unexpected invitation, because no one has ever told me that they want to "chat", except for Mi Le and Ye Ruiyang.But most of the time, they don't ask me in advance, but say what they have anytime, anywhere.

"It's fine if you want to watch a movie..." He scratched his head embarrassingly.

"It's all right. I'd love to."

The old class's level of movie selection has improved a lot compared to last year, at least Ye Ruiyang will not rush to turn off the computer like last time.However, since Taotao has agreed, he cannot go back on his word.As soon as the movie was played, we both slipped out of the classroom under the cover of darkness, ran to the laboratory building, and stopped under the old maple and poplar.

"What's the matter with you? Just tell me if you have anything to say." I leaned against the maple and poplar tree, and rubbed its undulating bark with my back. It was very comfortable, like a massage, and I couldn't help stretching.

"Well...just tell you one person." He hesitated.Taotao was originally taller than me, but when I stood on the tree root, he didn't come up. Instead, I was "looking down" at him, and even the shadow was stretched long.

"Ke Ke, this may be the last time I will take a midterm exam."

"what?"

I saw my own shadow tremble, and my limbs, which were stretched just now, instantly became stiff.

"What do you mean?" Seeing that he bowed his head and said nothing, I hurriedly asked.

"I want to change schools." He said calmly, tilting his head slightly, looking at me.Those bright black eyes told me that it was not a joke or a lie.

Undoubtedly a shock.

"Why? Your grades are much better! If you still feel that you can't keep up, we will help you! I, Boss Ye, Mi Le, and Xuexue, aren't everyone happy? Why are you leaving? !" The more I spoke, the more anxious I became, perhaps because I faintly felt the unshakable fate and decision behind Taotao's words, "Don't go, no one wants you to go. Who asked you to go? Don't listen to him of!"

For a moment, I suspected several teachers, those who liked to talk about "killing 1000 people in one point" the most.Could it be that the 1000 people who are destined to be killed will not only be killed in the examination room, but also have to be killed in reality?And it started from our side?

"What if I told you that the one who wanted me to go was myself?" The expression on his face was much more relaxed than mine.

"Don't go!" I jumped down from the tree roots, grabbed his two arms, and seemed to shake him twice, "You are our friend, everyone cares about you so much, how can you leave us and run away? drop it?"

I must have panicked, and my words were indiscriminate, as if Taotao owed us.Maybe I really thought so at the time.

"I know, you are all my most important friends. I also know that my thoughts are selfish, but I can't help it." He bit his lower lip.

"Why is there no way? How can there be no way in the world? You don't want to think about it yourself! Tell me, tell me! I can help you!" My voice was much louder, anxious and angry, my head It must be smoking hot and sweating on the back.

"Ke Ke, I understand your kindness. But I am also a person with a conscience, right? I am very grateful for everyone's help, especially you. It's just that people have to rely on themselves, and they can't rely on others for a lifetime, right? ? Everyone has self-esteem. If you want to help, you can only help once, and if you help too much, it is not helping."

"I don't care! I am willing! What once, twice, how many times, nonsense!"

For a moment, I returned to the previous state of unscrupulous temper tantrums, and Taotao, who came to talk to me, became the one who comforted me.He patted my shoulder slowly, "Ke Ke", "Ke Ke", yelling continuously in a low voice, as if coaxing a child to sleep.It's a shame, but only he can see it.I was just making trouble out of no reason and completely disregarding his feelings.But I don't want to lose another friend, so suddenly.

"I'm very moved, Ke Ke, I know you all want me to stay, and I don't want to be separated from you. I've thought about this for a long time, and I've discussed it with my parents and Teacher Liu. I want to find someone who is more suitable for me. my school."

"No.[-] Middle School is obviously suitable for you. No.[-] Middle School is the best school in the city!"

"But I may not be very suitable for studying, not everyone is suitable for exams, I..."

"Lie! You have made great progress. You must be a good student in other schools! Don't lie to me! You are just making excuses! Exams are the most suitable way for us. Isn't studying hard better than others?"

I cut him off.At this moment, no matter what he said, I would refute it without exception, even if I refuted it in the words of an adult I usually don't like so much.I had an illusion, as if I could successfully keep him if I refuted him.I have no idea.I don't know what I have to do to keep him.I don't want him to leave.The night sky that is approaching summer has not yet gathered the sultry heat, but I feel that the clothes next to me are already wet.

He smiled, probably seeing my aggrieved and anxious look.I must have looked like a shar pei sprawled on the ground, almost puckered up.

"I'm making excuses," he admitted. "Actually, it doesn't have much to do with grades. I want to choose a school close to home. My sister will start elementary school in September, and my father is away, and my mother is not in good health." , there is no one at home. I am going to Xinjian Middle School, which is right in front of my house. In this way, I can pick up my sister every day and cook for the family. As you can see, I have been running between home and school since last semester. It's a bit far away, I'm tired and want to be lazy."

"you are so cruel."

"What do you mean?"

"You want to sacrifice yourself to take care of your family, don't you? But, can your family bear such a big sacrifice? Everyone knows that No. [-] Middle School is a good school. We are very lucky to study here. Many people crowded I want to come in with all my brains, how can I just give up?" I seemed confident, but I didn't dare to look him in the eyes, "If your sister grows up and finds out that her brother left his friends to pick her up for school, What would she think if she gave up her studies? Have you considered your sister's feelings? She will definitely be very sad. "

"I will not give up studying. Going to Xinjian is also very good, and it can save a lot of time to study. Usually I always feel that I don't have enough time, and I am in a hurry to go to the toilet."

"Then you can't sacrifice yourself like this."

"But Mom and Dad have already sacrificed a lot for us, so I should do something. If I don't do anything, the one who has to sacrifice is my sister. I hope she is happy, safe, and always accompanied by someone."

"Can no one help?" I racked my brains, trying to come up with a countermeasure for him.Part-time workers and small dining tables are of course impractical, but it seems that I have heard of some community service, which is probably called it, it is too strange.

I never thought about the ordinary and practical problems of food, clothing, housing and transportation. Before I could think about it, my parents had already thought about it for me.My primary school is only 10 minutes away from home. Since I was a child, I always go back together, take care of each other, hold hands and follow the crowd to cross the road.When I was alone, I was old enough to go alone.

But it's not that the problems I don't have to think about don't exist and won't happen to others.

"I don't want to trouble others. Besides, my sister is still young, so I don't feel relieved to hand it over to others."

"Is there no other way?"

"That's the best way."

I hunched over and stood still under the lush shade of maple poplars, my arms were hanging blankly, not knowing where to put them.The wind blows on my face, with a little summer drunk, erratic and unreal.Amidst the dense swaying sound of the regrown leaves, I realized very clearly that Taotao's departure was already a falling hammer and could not be changed.He told me this secretly, perhaps because he was worried that the sudden parting would hurt his friend's heart.However, if he told me in advance, wouldn't I be sad?I am very sad, because I can read without worry, I have been reading without worry, and this is a luxury for Taotao.Taotao is right in front of me, I know he is leaving me, he is destined to become a passer-by in my life, a leaf that drifts away and cannot be grasped, and the object that the whole class will reluctantly bid farewell to in a certain day in the future .I can picture him saying goodbye to everyone.After finishing speaking, he left, and our days continued to move forward, and we continued to read morning and evening every day, woo woo blah, the noise seemed to never stop.

"Actually Xinxin Middle School is really good..." He said, not knowing if he was comforting me or himself.Probably me, as if it was me who was leaving school and not him.This determination of never looking back and never regretting made me both sad and guilty.I know that he fully accepts and loves his responsibilities, hopes to do everything he can do well, and never complains no matter how hard he pays, because the happiness of his relatives is his happiness.

People cannot choose their own life, but they can choose how to live.At an ignorant age, he is working hard to protect and care for his relatives, but what am I doing?I just hurt them over and over.

"Both sides have communicated, and I can go to their best class. Xinjian also told me that the school will be changed to a branch school of No. [-] Middle School next semester, and teachers will be transferred from the headquarters. I am still from No. [-] Middle School, and we are still classmates. It’s not that if I transfer to another school, everyone will never get in touch with each other.”

He put his hand on my shoulder.I haven't been touched by him much, and I feel unfamiliar, so unfamiliar that I feel that I am not worthy of his comfort to me.

"When are you leaving?" I surrendered.

"It's the end of the semester. Do you know why?"

"Your sister will only start elementary school in the second half of the year. Do you want to stay with everyone for a while?"

"That's right, but there's another reason." He held out a finger excitedly, "We've reached the semi-finals. The team will still need me."

"Let's take the championship!" blurted out, "If you want to go, you have to go with the championship medal."

"Okay." His eyes became brighter.

"It's a deal!" Finally, I smiled and bumped my fists with him.

"Do you know? I played football in elementary school, but I never thought about playing football in junior high school. After all, I didn't even have a pair of reliable sneakers. I made up my mind the day you gave me the shoes, and I will definitely play football. Go on. So, even if I am no longer in No. [-] Middle School, I will still play. Xinxin also has a school team. Just like what the senior sister and Xu Mu said, I can’t let it go.” He licked his lips, a little shy, but also A trace of excitement could not be concealed.

"We will all kick it down, keep kicking it down." I hugged him tightly, with the strength that I didn't want to separate.

"We may become rivals. But you should get used to it, after all, we seem to have played against your friends before."

"I don't care, you are my teammate now, and you will always be my teammate."

"You too. By the way..."

He raised his head, and we looked at the peaceful night sky together.At first glance, there are only a crooked moon and a few solitary stars.However, under the poorly lit maple and poplar trees, the stars that have covered the sky since ancient times gradually revealed their distant shadows.As our gaze becomes clearer, they gradually flicker on the other side of the galaxy countless light years away from us, like friends who have been separated and reunited in childhood.In the winter of my hometown, I have leaned my head out of the window many times, away from the lights and hustle and bustle of the city, slowly chewing and swimming in the boundless sea of ​​​​constellations, with endless reveries about the horizon floating in my mind.

"You said, if I were a Brazilian, would I earn my living by playing football?"

"It's definitely possible, and you can make a lot of money. You will definitely become a star in Brazil." I heard Xianxian said that many stars of the Brazilian team came from bad backgrounds, but just to make their families live better. Out of their love for the sport, they worked hard, step by step from unknown street kids to stars sought after by thousands of people.In Brazil, football can change people's destiny.

"I'm just thinking about it. I guess not. Being a professional player is hard. It's no easier than an exam." He smiled foolishly, "Maybe in Brazil, I will become a street gangster, fighting every day, joining Gangsters are all possible."

"No, absolutely not." I said categorically, with such a confident tone that also appeared when I was talking to Mi Le, "A person like you will never become a bad person, never in your life, no matter where you are where."

"In fact, I never know what I will do in the future or what kind of person I will become. As long as I can do it, I will do it. However, since I have a family, and I also have Ke Ke's words from you, I think, no matter Wherever I am and what I do in the future, I will be down-to-earth and upright."

Looking at his simple and plain face under the starry sky, I believe that this sentence will be a promise to keep for a lifetime.Let me fight with Taotao, this is an aboveboard challenge.On this night, I feel that we must not lose the next game, we must win.

(End of this chapter)