Maid's Survival Manual

Chapter 146 Before Marriage
The days suddenly become hectic, hasty, and full of flavor.

Manman has a lot of trivial matters every day, and more and more people come and go. Although Chen Yunzheng said that she does not want to reach out, she is also indispensable for withdrawing money, finding someone to clean up the courtyard, and communicating with various people.

Although she is only the adopted daughter of the Wen family, Mr. Wen and his wife are just as serious as marrying their own daughters. They carefully prepared the dowry, and sent people to Manman to deliver some gadgets and food made by Mrs. Wen every now and then.

Manman felt ashamed, and she couldn't help reciprocating. Every two or three days, she went to pay her respects to her husband and wife, and sat down for a while, chatting with Mrs. Wen.

As May approached, both Chen Yunzheng and Mrs. Wen proposed to let Manman move in.

Mrs. Wen said very euphemistically: "Seeing that the auspicious period has arrived, the corresponding affairs are all prepared, and it is coming to an end. You, the bride-to-be, should also recharge your batteries."

In fact, everyone understands that this marriage is essentially an opportunity to rectify Manman's name, and it is the most important event in her life. Naturally, she cannot be carried out of the Chen family and brought into the Chen family again. It would not become a farce and a joke. up?

Chen Yunzheng put it a little more bluntly: "How can you handle your own marriage affairs? Because there is no manpower at home, I reluctantly let you do it. Now it's May, why don't you take a good rest? If it weren't for me, I couldn't bear it." , In fact, you should have moved to Mr.'s house a long time ago."

Manman made fun of him with a shy face and also laughed at herself: "Getting married is nothing more than a fig leaf. Thank you for taking it seriously. You and my close friends understand that a new couple is not a new couple. This marriage is not a newcomer. Is it just a cover?"

Chen Yunzheng grimaced, grabbed her hand tightly, and said: "You don't care if you call it a fig leaf or a cover, I don't deny that this is just for people to see. It was originally the life of the two of us, I don't need others to point fingers at all, but I don't want you to live so hard and so tired, if this fig leaf, this cover, can avoid others' suspicion and pointers to you, so what?"

Manman curled the corners of her lips, showing a serene smile, suddenly raised her eyebrows, turned around and spat: "It's none of my business what is love."

Behind him was Chen Yunzheng's wanton laughter, and Manman's ears turned red.Back in the room, while packing his clothes, he beat the bed angrily: "You are worthless, Su Manman, you are really worthless..."

But after scolding, he lost his mind for a while, staring blankly at a certain place in the nothingness in the air, and smiled weakly.Sumanman, is Sumanman really her?Is she really Sumanman?
She always thought that she was firm enough and strong enough, so she embedded this name, this body, and her own soul seamlessly without any psychological hindrance, no matter what time it was, even when she was talking in her sleep , She also confidently regarded herself as Su Manman.

But the words that she would inadvertently call herself made her startled.Manman threw down the clothes in his hand, rushed to the dressing mirror in a few steps, looked at the clear girl's face in the mirror, stroked the eyebrows and eyes that she was used to seeing with her fingertips tremblingly, and actually trembled a little.

Manman suddenly covered the mirror with a curtain, closed her eyes, and gasped for breath.

Maybe, because she was not sure, maybe what was shown on the surface was completely contrary to what should be in essence.For example, the stronger a person is, the weaker they are, the more proud they are, the more inferior they are, and the braver they are, they are not as fearless as they appear.

Just like herself.

She thought she persisted, but in fact, she didn't meet the person who made her give up her principles indefinitely.She thought she was free and easy, but in fact, she couldn't really let go like Chen Yunzheng.

She has deep shackles and cages that she can't even imagine.Because she locked it herself, and the key was thrown into an unknown corner, so unless someone breaks it with force, she will live in self-deception and self-righteous indifference and comfort forever, unable to get rid of it.

She said that she doesn't care about the eyes and opinions of the world, but it's actually because she first lowered herself into the mud and dust at the lowest level. She said that fearlessness will not get hurt, because she hurt herself to pieces first, and she has already endured extreme pain. A person in pain, facing the little pain that the world inflicts on her, because she has rehearsed it thousands of times, she has long lost that intensity.

She said that she was not afraid of being separated from Chen Yunzheng, because she had already imagined all kinds of embarrassments and embarrassments after being abandoned by him countless times.But in fact, she refused to invest because she was afraid of losing and parting one day, and she couldn't bear this kind of burden.

She said that she doesn't care about wealth and fame in the world. That's because she has never experienced it from the beginning to the end, so she is so abstract about what she wants to pursue, which makes her seem extraordinarily vague and at a loss.

She was far less thorough than what Chen Yunzheng watched and did.

She is a coward hiding on the edge of the world.She is afraid of getting hurt, afraid of losing, afraid of not getting what she asks for, and afraid of getting lost again, so she prefers to enjoy the sinking of having nothing.

She really felt unworthy.

What right did she have to doubt Chen Yunzheng's possible betrayal in the future?What reason does she have to doubt Chen Yunzheng's feelings for her?What position does she have to question his sincerity?

She didn't have any of these, even if she did, she wasn't as hot and pure as Chen Yunzheng.She always puts herself first, always thinks about how to be herself so as not to get hurt, and always thinks about how to escape immediately when she is invested but can't get it.

Of course she didn't betray, because she didn't give her heart and soul.

She thinks she is calm and indifferent, but in fact, she just opened a pair of indifferent eyes, looking at a boy named Chen Yunzheng, and fell in love with a beautiful girl named Su Manman.

No matter how he tosses, she may be moved, or a little moved, but not at all.Because she only said that this body does not belong to her, the beauty of this young girl does not belong to her, only the heart that seems to be beating like others, but is actually a pool of cold stagnant water belongs to her.

She can indulge this young and beautiful body to sink in the carnal desire given by Chen Yunzheng, she can indulge herself to enjoy Chen Yunzheng's contribution without hindrance, she can tolerate herself responding to Chen Yunzheng's feelings and dedication under limited conditions, but Don't allow your heart to open a little bit.

Because she has always believed that from inside to outside, from top to bottom, she is called Su Manman.And she is not Sumanman.And Sumanman is a dead person, alive, only this bit of faith, and this bit of faith is pinned on this cold heart, and therefore, it seems that there is only this heart left that does not belong to this world, is She can protect well and take things away.

who is she?Who is she?
At this moment, Manman became uncertain about herself.

She has always known very clearly that the past has long been abandoned, and she is no longer the same as she used to be, that's why she accepts "Sumanman" so calmly.But in fact, she didn't really integrate into it after all, otherwise she wouldn't have been avoiding and refusing to inquire about the truth about Su's father and Su's mother.

She is just living in a daze, not knowing the past, not knowing the future, and without a clear goal, she is anxious all day long, calculating in her own small world.

Because she was not sure about herself, she had to doubt who Chen Yunzheng liked, who she loved.

Su Manman doesn't look like her at all.

She is not as delicate and fair as Su Manman. In that time and space, she is a universal woman.She doesn't like makeup, shopping, or fashion. In fact, she is an ordinary woman among all living beings.

The traits she manifested in Sumanman are naturally mostly her true self, but because it is a completely different time and space, she looks different.

And what attracted Chen Yunzheng to her was just this "differentness".

But she knew that she didn't have any advantages or advantages at all.Even she is not kind, magnanimous, imperfect, afraid to love... There are only many shortcomings.

She used to blindly adhere to the attitude of protecting herself, and doubted Chen Yunzheng, but at the root of it, why did she doubt Chen Yunzheng?She didn't even know who she was, she didn't even know what she wanted to do, and she didn't even know what step she wanted to take. Facing Chen Yunzheng's magnanimous and unrepentant love, she had nothing but panic and fear.

I feel ashamed of what I received, and I made it clear that I confessed and responded, but I was afraid that I would express my wrong feelings.

She was afraid of seeing Chen Yunzheng's face suddenly repeated, her former love turned into suspicion and fear, she would rush out in a panic, and wanted to find an extraterrestrial eminent monk Fahai to take her in with an alms bowl.

She was afraid of seeing Chen Yunzheng's suddenly disgusted face. His once firm and warm feelings were only for that Su Manman, not for this ethereal wandering soul she sent to Su Manman.

You see, she is always afraid.Not getting it, being afraid, getting it, still being afraid, having nothing, being afraid, having nothing to lose, still being afraid.

Manman's slender white fingers tightly grasped the hem of her skirt, with excessive force, the whiteness of her fingers turned pale, and even turned blue, but she was still tightly gripping.

I don't know how long it took before the door was knocked open, and Chen Yun was striding in, his warm breath came over him, he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her over, and asked her eagerly and worriedly: "Manman, what's wrong with you?"

She just raised her head slowly and asked, "What?"

She didn't dare to agree, because she wasn't sure if Chen Yun was calling her or not.Chen Yunzheng snatched the hem of the skirt under her fingers, her fingers hurt from being pulled, but she still refused to let go.Chen Yunzheng put her icy fingers on the palm of his hand angrily, and said: "I ask you, shut yourself in the room, why are you crying? If you don't want to marry me..."

　Premarital phobia ha.The first one is delivered.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)