Gu Erbai's Pastoral Life

Chapter 301 In fact, you are just forging ahead

The firelight shone on the woman's delicate and white shoulders, and a large dark pink scar scalded by boiling water appeared impressively. There were faint dark brown spots on it, which should be the status quo after the scabs faded away.

The scar runs down the arm, like a ferocious centipede, climbing and extending to the place covered by the skirt, as if continuing to go down, down, like a flowing river, you dare not imagine how much more there is below. deep.

Xiao Xingzi stretched out her hand warming the fire, and suddenly stopped in front of the brilliant flames. In front of her, the vigorously burning flames scorched her palms for a long time, and it became hotter and hotter, as if she wanted to rush into her heart along her red fingertips. Just grab your weakest spot.

After she stared at the undulating flames, the flames danced in the woman's shoulders and dark pupils.

Next to her ear was the sound of "click, click" from the branches of the tree, and the vividly reflected scar suddenly came alive, like a swimming snake, silently sneaking towards her, gnawing at her heart.

"Why...you never said that?"

She opened her mouth for a long time, and her voice was a little hoarse.

With the flames burning more and more intensely, everything in the air did not seem dull, and even a little intense, and the questions that were close to my ears were mixed with some emotions.

Xiao Taozi hummed an imperceptible tune, she suddenly lowered her head, buried her scattered hair into her slightly curved knees, and even smiled a little in her trembling voice, "Who are you talking to? Have you ever met a delightful child who complained to someone?"

Xiao Xingzi didn't speak, but her brows were a little lighthearted.

She fixedly looked at the fire light reflected on her fingers, thinking that at some point, she suddenly proposed to have a room with her.

Thinking about it now, it seems that the matter of choosing a servant is settled on that day.

She lowered her head, as if something was blocked in her throat, it took a long time before she raised her head again.

"Why did Qiang'er do that? You are already the most beloved maid by the old lady's side, how dare she?"

When she said the last word, even her teeth trembled a little on her calm face.

I always feel that some things that have been buried for a long time, some unknown pains, are slowly and slowly revealing the most primitive traces.

And she didn't know if she could bear it.

"It's simple."

Xiao Taozi was playing with a lock of hair in her hands, slightly widening the corners of her mouth, trying to make herself smile and talk, maybe this has already become a habit.

"Xingzi, you think of me too perfectly, really."

She repeated two sentences.

"But I'm not who you imagined me to be at all, not at all.

You know, sometimes kindness, innocence, innocence, and the true nature that everyone admires can all be faked.It's just that in the process of disguising, gradually... Gradually, everyone believed it was true, even you yourself began to believe it. "

"I deserved Qiang'er's splash on me, because I stole her things."

"Didn't you always wonder why, the two sisters have such a grudge against us, why do all the maids treat us like smiling tigers?"

"You're okay, because you are the real temperament, and my disguise makes everyone disgusted."

"I once heard with my own ears some maids discussing me in private. They called me a sycophant and scolded me for being hypocritical, but what's the point? When they saw me, they would still call me Sister Xiao Taozi kindly. In this world, you If you want to stand firm, you never have to care about what other people think."

"The old lady's house servants have been appointed long ago, and it was not us at first."

"There are many maidservants in Gu's mansion. There are no girls of any kind of family background who are cute and delicate. You don't really think that the old lady is pitying us for being helpless?"

……

"You said at that time that the old lady took a fancy to your female worker."

When Xiao Xingzi heard this, her throat moved slightly, and she lowered her head after speaking, looking at the cold ground under her feet, it seemed like she couldn't even fool herself.

"Ah……"

When Xiao Taozi heard this, she suddenly let go and laughed.

She didn't know what to think of, and she kept laughing, and her shoulders trembled a little when she finally laughed, and her tears fell to the ground drop by drop.

"This is the most despicable part of me. Even such a kind and pure old man has the heart to deceive."

"When the old lady was choosing her servants, I happened to pass by the Liyuan, and I heard that the head of Tan inside was recommending candidates, and they had already been decided, they were the two Qiangwei in her room.

There is nothing unfair. This is a world where people with connections and backgrounds can walk easily.

But I know that this is our only chance.

Kyoko, you know that if we are not selected, we may still serve in the mansion for a few years, but when we reach the age, we should leave the mansion. Not everyone can stay like Tan Zhangshi.

But how should I leave Ah Shen?When I went back to my hometown, Dad would just find someone to marry me at random, and even the dowry was pitifully meager.

How do you go back to that home you don't even want to mention?
We were all too young at that time, and all the foundations seemed to be floating on the ground. There was no need for people to eradicate them, and they would fall down when the wind blew.

But we can't rely on anyone but ourselves.

I know that the relationship between the old lady and the master is not good. The old man has been doing business all year round. He has someone in his heart. It is his childhood sweetheart, not the old lady, but the old lady loves the old man like her life.

So on the night of Xuanshi, I went to Wenxinzhai's most famous gentleman overnight, spent all the monthly money I had saved over the years, and begged him to imitate a letter for me.

A letter from the master to his wife expressing his longing, every word in the letter is touching, lovesick to the bone, and lingering in every way.

But it is false.

I secretly handed the letter to the old lady, and said a lot about how the master loves his wife.

The old lady was very happy. In fact, she only needed to think a little more to know how false the letter was, but she was just a poor person lost in love.

I don't know if she knows that the letter is fake even today.

But that day she hugged me for a long time, she cried out of excitement, I stayed by her side for a day, and then the matter was settled. "

When Xiao Taozi raised her head again, she found that Xingzi was quietly watching her in a daze.

Those eyes were as calm as a pool of stagnant water.

She stretched out her hand to wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes, the corners of her mouth dilated slightly, and she couldn't hide a little bit of loneliness in her tone, "Why, you got to know me again?"

Xiao Xingzi slowly withdrew her scorching hot hand, which rested on the cold ground.

A wordless feeling of hot and cold blending, as if surging in my heart, I can't tell the taste.

She said, little sister Taozi, everything is better than her.

She said that we are the closest friends, but we are not equal.

She said that sister Xiaotaozi is mostly smiling, witty smiles, heartless smiles, sly smiles, and cute smiles. She must have a lot of things to be happy about, and she must be a happy person, so just laugh.

She said that some people may be really lucky to have food from the sky.

But now, she was sitting opposite her.

For more than ten years, she has been more real in front of her eyes than any other day.

And she couldn't be jealous anymore, she had paid too much.

How could the old lady fail to see that the letter was a forgery? In all these years, the master has never said a warm word to his wife.

But sister Xiaotaozi worked too hard to survive, her nervousness collapsed to the extreme, and she could even see through the emptiest places in people's hearts. She was the most suitable confidant to stay by the old lady's side.

It's not unreasonable, it's not unreasonable for the old lady to pet her.

There is no such thing as God's darling, everything is going smoothly, everyone is just forging ahead silently.

"Xingzi, sometimes I really envy you. I envy that you can always show your most natural and comfortable side. No matter what others say, you have a clear conscience. But I can't. I have lived the way others want."

Her voice was uncontrollably choked, as if she was feeling sad for herself.

"Stop it, stop it."

Xiao Xingzi lowered her head, her chest trembling intermittently.

Faintly, she felt that her legs were a little numb, but for some reason, she gradually began to feel the beating of her already numb heart.

"But even so, there are still tens of thousands of people who hate me, why are you spending time in the mansion when you are Qiang'er and Wei'er?

She was waiting for me to fall, and when I fell, she stepped on the soles of her feet fiercely.

So I can't fall down, I want to please my wife, I even have to keep climbing, keep climbing, and I can't relax for a moment, because only in this way can we walk down so smoothly forever..."

Xiao Taozi was still going on, and halfway through the talk, Xiao Xingzi's emotions suddenly collapsed through the flames rising in a trance.

"Stop it, I told you to stop it!"

She gritted her teeth tightly, held her head in her hands, and her wailing voice pierced the sky, resounding through the whole field, and the fluttering startled a large area of ​​ducks and cranes in the reeds.

Every word from Tao Zi's mouth felt like a fine and dense poisonous needle piercing her heart fiercely.

In the past, Sister Taozi told her that children should grow up well, and then she protected her to grow up well;
Later, she asked in her heart, how should she grow old when she grows up?

Oh, it turns out that she still wants to protect her from growing old slowly.

Tears flowed down her chin and hit the ground heavily, her eyes began to blur, and she couldn't see everything clearly, let alone herself.

"Xingzi, don't cry, you don't cry, we can't cry."

Looking at her trembling back, Xiao Taozi ran over staggeringly, with a smile that was always pleasing from her mouth, and hugged her body tightly.

"Sister Taozi, sister Taozi, I will go back with you."

(End of this chapter)