don't mess with me

Chapter 4 Liu Lao Liu
I lay still and ignored it on purpose, thinking to myself: If a thief came in at this time and saw me sleeping with a doll, he would think I was a pervert, right?

The celestial doll didn’t get any response, so she hummed to herself. I was lying in the dark, with a doll sleeping next to me, and there was a child’s voice floating in the room...I think I’m better than Xiao Qiang No. [-] Be strong, but he is "Midnight Ring", I am "The Grudge", at least Sadako looks like a girl with a beautiful figure, who should I reason with when I hear a doll singing?
I suddenly turned over and said, "I just remembered, you don't need to sleep, do you?"

Tianjie doll said: "Of course I have to sleep, but I feel like I sleep for a hundred days."

I was full of hope: "Then you go to sleep!"

"I'm not sleepy yet."

I was speechless again.

Tianjie Doll suddenly thought of something and said, "Why do you buy a double bed when you live alone?"

Because of this, I was full of bitterness, so I complained: "My parents are going crazy for wanting to have a grandson. The decoration is for a family of three. If they find a woman lying on my bed, they will definitely take the clothes off. Take the door and lock it."

"Your father is a cowboy?"

"It's not as good as Niulang. Niulang is a proletarian hooligan who harms others and benefits himself. My father harms others and does not benefit himself. This is very hateful."

"Then have you ever brought a woman to your house?"

I said angrily: "This is privacy!"

"Haha, I see, has your monthly income exceeded [-]?"

"Why are you asking this?"

"I see you are an otaku or a dick."

I said with a sullen face, "This is also private!"

Tianjie Doll concluded with a smile: "I have no women and no money, and I like to call myself an otaku, but I am actually a dick—" It added, "Poor dick."

……

The next day when I was sleepy, I heard the Tianjie doll shouting in my ear: "Xiaoqiang get up, the sun is drying his ass!"

I struggled to look out the window, just after dawn, I turned over and muttered: "Don't make trouble."

Seeing that I was indifferent, Tianjie Doll said again and again: "Get up, get up."

I simply covered my head in the quilt.But I forgot that the voice of Tianjie Doll has a penetrating function, and it automatically becomes a repeater:

"Get up get up get up!"

I sat up abruptly and said, "What are you doing up so early? Don't you know I'm poor?"

"Play with me."

"What can you play? Fist scissors cloth? If I play scissors, you won't have any chance, right?"

"You have to get up anyway, I'm bored waking up alone."

I sighed, washed my face and brushed my teeth, then sat down in front of the computer, and said to the Celestial Doll, "I have to work first and play with you later."

The Celestial Doll then shut her mouth.

I opened the book review section, and besides the ones advertising, there were more than [-] new book reviews, half of them were soy sauce party members who read books, and I added a few points for random comments: "Long Aotian, come on!" "Haha, drilled from the TV Come out the live-action version, it's funny" "I don't know what the consequences will be if someone takes off their glasses halfway".

The remaining half are reminders, and the other half point out my slow progress and stagnant plots with sharp eyes. I love and hate this kind of readers, but I can’t help it. Writing novels is actually like It’s like pulling the end of a thread, you can pull it for a long time if you find a long thread, sometimes you think you’ve found it, but when you pull it out, it’s as long as eyelashes, then you have to re-conceive the plot of the next stage.

And the difficulty of funny novels lies in the jokes and gimmicks. When there are plots and gimmicks, it is easy to write a chapter in two hours, but this is on the premise of smoothness. This chapter may be your previous week or even A month of accumulation, or even the result of pondering for one night at least, I update slowly, basically a chapter of 3000 words a day, sometimes doubling in bursts, basically I finish writing today’s chapter and immediately conceive the content of the next chapter , but for now, I have neither a plot nor a burden to hand, and the dog bites the hedgehog and has nothing to say, so I can only watch the screensaver flashing from time to time (writing a funny novel is really not easy, hey—— Author press).

Half an hour later, I still hadn't written a single word, and Leng Ding, the celestial doll, cried out, "You're not writing at all, go out and play with me!"

I rubbed my hair like a bird's nest and said, "No!"

"Okay——" Then this guy sang on his own, "The boundless end of the world is my love..." It stopped abruptly, and I hummed unconsciously: "The flowers at the foot of the rolling green hills are open!"

"I'm looking up, above the moon."

I secretly continued: "How many dreams are flying freely."

"Cut a period of time to flow slowly."

I couldn't help it: "It flows into the moonlight and ripples slightly." Then I jumped up and said, "Do you dare not sing the legend of the Phoenix?"

"The great river flows eastward, and the stars in the sky are drawn to the Big Dipper!"

I added in a low voice: "Hey, black and black - you won, can I stop writing?"

Tianjie Doll smiled and said: "You can't write it anyway, as long as you finish my business, I will find someone to help you, and your inspiration will be like a diabetes insipidus."

I asked curiously, "Who are you going to ask for help?"

"Didn't you write about female ghosts? Of course there is no inspiration behind closed doors. The part you wrote about fear is very unreal. I will help you find a real ghost to come back to experience life. The one with longer hair and the one with more grievances. If you don't think it's enough, I will give it to you." If you are looking for someone to stay in Japan, of course, try to ask for RB nationality to die in China."

I heard goosebumps all over my body. Although this product is unreliable, if it really gets such a person floating around the room, I can't stand it?If my parents and my mother locked us in the house, my funny novel would really be written as a documentary literature.

I said, "What do you want me to do with you?"

"I have a friend who is coming, why don't you help me pick it up?"

"Your friend? The little cloth bear and the big yellow duck are coming?"

"I'm not joking with you, it's true."

I put it in front of me and said, "Do you know anyone else besides me?"

"Ah."

"Did they take the train or the plane?"

"Even if it's an airplane."

"What time do you arrive?"

"It's about eight or nine o'clock in the evening."

"That's still early."

"Get a car for you first, let's go out now."

"Well..." I said cautiously, "We can't steal or rob."

"Stop talking nonsense."

I went out of the community and took a taxi, and the master asked me, "Where do I go?"

It was inconvenient for me to put my hands into my pockets because I was sitting on the seat, so I asked in a low voice, "Hey, where are we going?"

The Celestial Doll said, "Go straight."

I straightened up and said, "Go straight."

The master gave me a strange look in the rearview mirror, and drove away silently.

The master kept asking for directions, so I had to keep asking the Tianjie Doll. A person who asked and answered was busy in the back seat. After about 20 minutes, the car stopped at the entrance of a hospital, and the master looked at him with strange eyes. I said, "Are you here?"

I got out of the car and took out my wallet and asked, "How much?"

"Uh...forget it!" Before the words were finished, the master started in second gear, accelerated, and disappeared from my eyes in an instant when the arc drifted at the intersection ahead.I scratched my head in wonder, and then took a look at the signboard of the hospital - the Sixth People's Hospital of the city.

I immediately understood the astonishment in the master's eyes—the No. [-] Hospital is our mental hospital!
Think about it, a big man came to this place talking hesitantly, no wonder the master didn't dare to take my money, saying that a strong dragon can't beat a snake, he must think I'm home...

I said depressedly, "What did you bring me here for?"

The Heavenly Doll said: "Here is the person we are looking for."

"Besides being a rag doll, you also have mental problems?"

Tianjie Doll said: "Stop talking to yourself here, didn't you see that there are two doctors who are already eyeing you?"

When I looked up, I saw two big and thick white coats staring at me vigilantly on the other side of the iron fence.I hurried forward a few steps: "Who are you looking for?"

"Go 50 meters further and there is a waste collection station. The person we are looking for is there."

"Then why don't you park there?"

"Isn't this saving money?"

I was speechless, and walked forward for a while, and I saw a dilapidated compound full of all kinds of waste products, and sacks were stacked in mountains under the surrounding walls. At the door of the low wooden house, an old man sat In a chair with only three legs and a stack of bricks, he is leisurely raising his legs and smoking a cigarette.

Liu laoliu!

(End of this chapter)