Chapter 11 Drunk KISS
Looking forward to the stars and the moon, I finally look forward to the May Day holiday.This anticipation makes it feel like I have a grand plan to implement, but in reality I just want to sleep in the dark.According to Julie, I just really want to stay with the pigsty.

But the plan couldn't keep up with the changes. On the eve of May [-]st, I received a call from Shanshan, threatening that he would come to Beijing on May [-]st, so we can look forward to it.I obediently reminded him to buy two tickets so as not to crowd the passengers next to him.

On May [-]st, the sun, which had been invisible for many days, suddenly came up to the top of the head, which was very dazzling.

On the way to the airport, I muttered that I didn’t wear sunscreen when I came out. Fang Yuke glanced at me indifferently and said, “Don’t bring sunscreen out. People will see the brand you use. Would never buy that one again.”

I also don't care if I say loudly in public: "Don't think that you can hurt me casually after being my body sculpting coach for a few days. You are still my concubine because of seniority."

A few "post-90s" next to me looked at me strangely, and one of them, a guy with a nose ring and an indistinguishable male and female, looked at me contemptuously: "You are so old, and you are still so naive."

Well, I admit that the method of sealing a concubine is indeed a bit out of place, but I can't do it because I am lonely.Although I am wearing a khaki polo shirt, khaki trousers, and a red peaked cap today, it looks like a sanitation aunt, but have you seen any aunt who is so youthful? The face, the skin that can be broken at the fingertips?

I stared hard at the bus window, trying to see my face in the blurry image.Fang Yuke said: "Don't look at it. There are a little more beauty moles and super mini dimples on the face, but everything else is fine."

Who will roll the tape for me to seal this poisonous mouth beside me?When I go out in the future, I will be like other beauties, stuffing a big cosmetic bag in my bag, and filling my face when I have nothing to do.She usually pretends to be reserved and never smiles, because when she smiles, the powder on her face will fall down.

I turned my head and looked at him provocatively: "This is the original one, it's all natural, so don't comment on it if you don't understand it. There are a lot of fakes on the market now, they look beautiful but are not practical. You can guarantee that Ru Ting's stalwart is not acquired Forging?" I admit that I am in a hurry, and everyone will frame me.I'm sorry, Ru Ting...

Fang Yuke looked down at my chest: "It's better than nothing."

Ow—

By the time I arrived at the airport, I had already slumped down on my seat, exhausted.I promised Chairman Mao that I would never argue with him again.This man's teeth have been sharpened, and he bites them accurately.

Group after group of passengers came out of the airport, and finally saw that fat figure in the crowd.

I walked up, stretched out my index finger and poked him cautiously like ET on his swollen stomach, indicating that the greeting was over.Shanshan smiled like Maitreya Buddha.

I plan to repay the grievance I just received from Fang Yuke's mouth to Shanshan twice: "Shanshan, you can remove the table when you eat in the future, and just put the rice bowl on your stomach. This is so convenient for people who care about their stomachs. "

Shanshan was not annoyed, and said with self-mockery: "Sometimes when I eat snacks, I don't need to look for anything on the ground, just pick it up from my stomach and eat it."

I laughed out loud: "Well done Shanshan, it's shameful to waste, get rich through frugality, and you will definitely be a rich man in the future. My little sister will rely on your big tree to enjoy the shade."

Fang Yuke patted Shanshan on the shoulder: "Monopoly, let's go."

I think fate is a wonderful thing.Shanshan is my former neighbor, Fang Yu is Shanshan's current neighbor, but Fang Yuke and I didn't know each other because of Shanshan.Xiaoxi and Ru Ting were Fang Yuke's former neighbors, Xiaoxi became my injury, and Ru Ting kept Fang Yuke's guard.Who said that the world is so big, it's not just going around and going around, there are always just a few people?
In the evening we greeted Shanshan at Haidilao.

For the first half an hour, Shanshan hardly spoke to us, but just ate blindly, as if if he didn't eat in time, the waiter would have to remove the plate.I have to remind Shanshan that we are not eating a buffet, and there is no problem of not getting back the cost.

Fang Yu laughed: "Shanshan, you didn't eat so much when you were in junior high school, why did you go out of the country and bring back several stomachs?"

Shanshan held the general's belly, leaned on the back of the chair, and looked at me sideways: "Lin Lin, I haven't seen you in a few months, how did you lose weight? You have a secret to share with me."

I am happy with my face.This flattery is really exciting.

Fang Yuke went on to say: "A skinny camel is bigger than a horse. It has a big skeleton, no matter how thin it is, it won't be too thin."

I was angry: "How do you know I have a big skeleton? The phrase 'Bones are delicate and not vulgar' sung in the play refers to me."

Fang Yuke slowly put vegetables into the hot pot: "You forgot, I am still your body sculpting coach. I know better than you where you are fat and where you are thin."

I faltered and couldn't speak.

Shanshan stuffed his mouth again: "Don't look at me as fat, but my heart is still very thin. I already smell the smell of adultery between you. It's not true to hide it from me, brother."

I knocked on Fang Yuke's plate with my chopsticks: "You still haven't introduced your ideal to him, or I will lose money."

Fang Yuke just smiled foolishly and contentedly: "I'm very familiar with you, so I don't need to introduce you."

Shanshan continued: "Yu is a good man who is both personally and godly angry. How many women fall under his jeans. Lin Lin, can you cover him?"

I smiled treacherously: "You can cover it, you can cover it. He falls under his jeans, and I fall under his swim trunks. Who is as brave as me..."

Shanshan took a sip of beer: "Why do you speak like a hooligan..."

We just chattered around like this, and Shanshan and I had a good talk, and finally got a little drunk.

Shanshan raised his fat head and asked me: "Lin Lin, how good it was when I was young, everyone really played with me. After my family became rich, I couldn't tell who was my friend and who was my grandson..."

I pointed to Fang Yuke and said to Shanshan: "Fang Yuke is not our friend, you see he despises us. Will friends despise us?"

Shanshan's tongue began to tie up: "If he is not my friend, he is also your boyfriend, so...so he is also my friend after this arrangement."

I tugged at Fang Yuke's face: "Today Shanshan is the king, so he will do whatever he says. Shanshan says you are my boyfriend, so be it. Come on, tease me."

Dimly, I saw Fang Yuke's face being pulled into an irregular shape by me.I became playful: "Oh, my skin is so good. What kind of cosmetics did you use to maintain it? Oh, why are you blushing? It's rosy and rosy, it's different. It's so cute, let me kiss it."

I leaned forward and kissed Fang Yuke's cheek fiercely, then turned around and said to Shanshan: "This guy actually uses skin care products..."

Shanshan suddenly stood up and shook my body: "Lin Lin, are you serious? Our family Yu Ke's first kiss is gone like this."

"Shanshan, it's agreed, you have to lend me the submachine gun, and I'll fold you a gold ingot later, okay?" Before he could answer, I slammed my head on the table with a "boom", in a daze. , seeing Fang Yuke standing there holding a red tomato face in one hand.The idiot!
The next day, I was awakened in a daze by three pairs of eyes full of resentment.

My throat was about to smoke, and I waved to the three of them: "Hey, you three, don't stand in front of me and block the way, and pour me a glass of water when you are free."

Julie obediently went to pour water, and the sound of water splashed in the quiet dormitory.I smell something wrong: this is the calm before the storm...

I got out of bed and quickly took the water glass: "I'll do it myself..." As I spoke, I looked at the other three uneasily.

I gulped down the water, and the more I drank, the more I felt that I was drinking Hedinghong.I was really stared at, so I had no choice but to preemptively: "Don't bring people like you, why do you engage in such mental torture if you have something to say?"

After all, Wang Jie has the leadership style of the head of the dormitory. She dragged a chair and sat in front of me: "Lin Lin, do you still remember how you came back last night?"

After being reminded by her, I began to recall, sitting upright with piercing eyes, desperately trying to recall something.

Julie has a bad temper, and started to shoot like a machine gun: "Wang Jie, don't look at her as if she is trying to remember, just look at her empty eyes and you will know that she must have forgotten everything. Don't believe me, you are here today and look at her. Check it out one day, and make sure you break down before she remembers."

The scariest person in the world is really the one who knows himself better than himself.

Wang Jie persevered: "Then do you remember what you did when you went out at night?"

I have an impression of this: "I went out to meet my friend. He used to be abroad, and he finally came back to live for half a year. This time he came to Beijing. It's not easy..."

Roommate Wen Tao made a gesture of rest and interrupted me: "Stop, stop, I'm not interested in your wanderer who came back from afar. Tell us, who you went with and what you did."

"Fang Yuke and I went there, we didn't do anything, we chatted, drank..."

Julie patted her thigh: "Finally we're getting to the point. What happens after drinking?"

I continued to recall: "After drinking, we still chatted, and then drank again..." OMG, stop stop, I seem to have done something very special and tough.Is it reality or an illusion?What have I done?What did I do?What have I done?What did I do?After thinking about it, I muttered, "Did I do it?"

Julie next to me didn't pat her thigh, but directly patted me on the head: "You don't know if you did it or not. You laughed like that stupidly yesterday. If someone can really attack you, it must be a blind and cum Deaf."

Actually, I didn't want to talk about such a late step, I just want to know if I kissed or not...

"You came back fully wrapped, but," Wang Jie said calmly, "When Fang Yuke sent you back, your clothes were disheveled."

Zhu Li screamed: "You said that you have learned to flirt with men at a young age, can you still marry after you tell it? When you came back last night, you were still dragging Fang Yuke to take off his shirt , I blame him for having too many buttons. I blush for you. Fang Yu dare not take you to his house, and when he carried you up, your heart-piercing cry—"

Julie was still basking in the memories of last night.It's hard to say whether she can be Daoming Temple's mother, but she definitely has the potential to be Shancai's mother.

Roommate Wen Tao continued to add: "Don't worry, this time you are a hit, all the girls in the dormitory, even the auntie of the building manager, will remember you. Of course, I believe this kind of super gossip has already spread to the ears of Ru Ting who is traveling in Europe. It was she who came back in a hurry. Alas, the fire in the backyard caused a disaster." She didn't pretend to be concerned about the country and the people for a long time, and immediately clapped her hands, "Then we will have a good show. Lin Lin, you have to work hard, Otherwise, it would be worthy of being put on the top of the BBS gossip edition."

I broke out in a cold sweat when I heard it: "Did Fang Yuke say anything?"

Zhu Li crossed her legs and said: "So Fang Yu is a good person. He wiped your face himself, and told us to take good care of you. He also said that when you fell asleep, you might still Knowing how to kick a quilt or something, let us pay more attention. How many times did you say you slept in Fang Yuke's house without telling us? How would others know that you can kick a quilt to the extent that you can cover two quilts on the lower bunk? "

Alas, when I was taking computer lessons, I lay on his bed and fell asleep several times...

Seeing my gloomy expression, Julie added fuel to the fire and asked, "Do you know what other high-minded remarks you made last night? That was a naked challenge, written in front of all the girls in the dormitory... …But this kind of suicide challenge really made us sad and weeping. You said that if you want to have this idea, you have to wait for it to be at the right time, place and people, plus you can get countless top marks, which is [-]% One of the chances of winning, and then announced, and now it is so high-profile... Sigh..."

I can't stand Julie's poor-mouthed appearance: "What the hell did I say?"

"Hey, you said, although the famous flower has an owner, Lin Lin will come to loosen the soil. Let Fang Yuke be lucky with me tonight, I will kiss you..."

Oh my god, don't play with me like this...

At that time, mobile phones that could take pictures were regarded as high-end mobile phones, but I also forgot that many of the students studying in this school were also children of rich families.Last night, my ugly appearance was taken and uploaded by a good-for-nothing guy with his mobile phone.

For the first time, I thanked our old building for its dim lighting, which made the expressions of the people in the photos not so clear, but basically I can also see from the photos that I am not far from the person who ran over the wall of the mental hospital.

Not long after, I received a text message from Fang Yuke: "Are you up yet? Shanshan asked us to meet him at the hotel and go to the Summer Palace in the afternoon."

I don't want to go. I have done heartless things since I was a child, but I have never done such a heartless thing.If you really go, you will be as thick-skinned as a city wall.

But if you don't go, it's like a ghost in my heart...

Just thinking about it, Shanshan sent me a text message: "If you dare not go out to play together because of what happened last night, I despise you with all my flesh."

Alas, when will this guy's IQ be higher than his weight?
My IQ is not high, and when I was forced by Shanshan, I obediently went out.

When I go downstairs, I will meet up with Fang Yuke first.

I have never been so quiet in my life. When I saw him come out of the dormitory, I lowered my head and waited for the trial like a condemned sinner.

Fang Yuke was also very quiet, standing next to me like an accomplice.

Our two pieces of wood were stuck in place for a while, turning our heads [-]%, and the female compatriots with bigger mouths have already commented: "This is the one that was tossed last night, right?"

After I heard it, even if my face was as thick as the atmosphere, I had to move and leave.

All the way silent, very strange.

On the bus yesterday, we had an argument and bickering.Sure enough, the oath I made with Chairman Mao was too poisonous, and I can no longer bicker with him.

I smiled stiffly: "Fang Yuke, let me tell you a quick brain teaser."

Fang Yuke was as cold as ice, without squinting.

I continued: "A turtle walked over a pile of poop, but only left three footprints on it, why?"

Fang Yu could not speak.

I laughed dryly: "Because one foot is holding my nose."

Fang Yuke continued to remain silent without raising his eyebrows.

"There was a pig that went to a foreign country. What happened to it?"

Fang Yuke's acupuncture points were tapped, but he didn't respond at all.

I had no choice but to reveal the answer: "It has become a pig." However, this time, I myself was hurt by this cold joke.Alas, there are so many things I want to explain, but if I say it, I will be hypocritical, and if I don’t, I will be aggrieved.

"That—last night—wasn't intentional—don't worry about touching your face with my mouth. Just treat it as if you were bitten by a dog, bitten by a pig, or bullshit."

Fang Yuke suddenly said: "Zhou Linlin, try drinking like this in front of others from now on."

When I saw that things were turning around, I put my heart on my left hand and raised my fist with my right hand to my side: "Chairman Mao, my little one will never get drunk again."

Fang Yuke added: "Don't tamper with the concept. I mean you can't drink, not that you don't want to get drunk. Your self-control is too poor, it's not that you don't want to get drunk if you don't want to."

I explained: "I still drink very well."

"But the wine is not good."

I bowed my head, I really can't refute this.

"Actually, it's me who suffers, right? I use my mouth, so you just donate your face. Your face has been kissed by mosquitoes, flies, and flying insects. Why do you have to be so angry and mind? I also treat it as a meal Snacks, I'm relieved. You lost your first kiss, and I lost it too. Isn't it good if we get even?"

Fang Yuke's expression changed.

And what I recall in my mind at this moment is the previous private conversation with Julie: "Julie, if I said that when I kissed Fang Yuke, I was not completely drunk, and I still had consciousness, but I still kissed, what does that mean?" ?”

"That means you have lust all the time."

"Speak the truth."

"Well, according to Duke Zhou's 'thinking every day and dreaming at night' or according to Freud's psychoanalysis, it means that you have wanted to kiss him for a long time. After the alcohol is paralyzed, the desire breaks free and directly dominates your brain. .”

"You still say I'm lustful."

"That's different, why don't you kiss that 'sea turtle', but kiss Fang Yuke and still hug him?"

"That shows that I still retain a normal aesthetic when I am half-drunk or not."

"But what you said when you were drunk cannot be explained aesthetically. In fact, you have been trying to pry the wall for a long time, right?"

"You mean that I, Fang Yu, have unreasonable thoughts between a man and a woman? Impossible, impossible. I like Xiaoxi to the bone, how can I be in two boats?"

"Do you like Xiaoxi or the feeling of liking? Sanmao said: Some people's love is just an 'emotion at the time'. If the other party mistakenly regards this emotion as long-term love, it is their own naivety. You spend so much time with Fang Yuke, much more than the time you spend with Xiao Xi, more than the time Fang Yuke spends with Ru Ting. It's normal to have a long-term relationship."

"It's so nonsense..."

I pretended to be casual and asked Fang Yuke: "Tell me, is it possible that you have liked someone for a long time, and then suddenly found out that the person you like is another person?"

Fang Yuke shook his head resolutely.

"why?"

"If you found out early, how could it take so long to find out?"

"What if you're stupid?"

Fang Yuke stared at me, I reacted, and immediately said: "I mean, what if, maybe you just have an obsession with the person you have always liked, not that kind of liking? Maybe you got her and immediately found out that before you You just live in a hypothetical world, and the reality makes you realize that what you like is just those years."

Fang Yuke stared at me: "Why are you so sentimental all of a sudden? Love is an obsession. If it's not an obsession, it just arises and ends at will, it's because the feelings are not deep enough to find a place for the disappearing feelings. Just an excuse."

Having said that, I am even more depressed.On the one hand, I suddenly felt that my feelings for Xiaoxi were lost; on the other hand, if I really fell in love with Fang Yuke, then I would be doomed—if I fell in love with someone else in my heart again and again, where would I really be? When you fall, you lie down there.

When Shanshan saw me, he had a sinister smile on his face: "Lin Lin, I haven't seen you for a long time, and I've seen him with admiration. You are worthy of being the little overlord in the army."

The little overlord in the army was my honor when I was a child.I laughed and said, "A hero doesn't mention his bravery, but a gentleman doesn't mention his embarrassment."

Shanshan ignored me, just leaned on Fang Yuke's body and pretended to tear the shirt non-stop, and while tearing, imitated a female voice: "Why are there so many buttons, you took them off for me..."

People need face, trees need bark, there is no need to bear it anymore.I was shocked and shouted: "Fang Yuke, you must wear a T-shirt for me in the future, no buttons are allowed, do you understand?"

Fang Yuke smiled without temper.

This smile really bothers me.I repeat, I am a dimple lover, but why is the smile on a face without dimples still so dazzling, so captivating?

What a danger sign.

Northerners look at the Summer Palace to look at the mountains, the water, and the Little West Lake. For us three southerners who grew up surrounded by mountains and rivers under the influence of the myths of The White Snake and Xu Xian, the Summer Palace is no longer very attractive. force.In the end, we lost interest in playing, Fang Yuke and I sat on the corridor to rest, Shanshan could only sit across from us because of his huge size, and ate a sausage with great joy.

According to common sense, when I can't understand something, I will choose to put it aside and not think about it.But the theory that Julie said last night was lingering in my mind, unable to land for a long time.Is it me who has moved on, or is this just a pure accident?No matter how stupid I am, I shouldn't be so stupid that I don't know who I like.Xiaoxi is like rice wine soaked in plum blossoms. It has a clear and strong aroma. After drinking it, it warms the heart and stomach, and has a lot of stamina.But Fang Yu is...

"Hey, why are you in a daze?" Fang Yuke pushed me.

"I'm thinking about the big questions of life." I ignored him and continued with my research.

"Oh, your eyes can be so empty when you're thinking! Your expression is the same when you're using your brain and when you're not. You have the potential to be a pig." Fang Yuke intentionally stretched the word "pig" very long.

I gave him a blank look, disdain to talk to him.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Fang Yuke paused, "If you say that you underestimate your potential, then you have the temperament of a pig exuding from the inside out."

I regret comparing him to Xiaoxi's level, I'm so worried, how could I like such a poisonous tongue?I didn't speak at all, to see how much he could hurt me.

"Angry? Look how cute McDull is. What's wrong with being a pig? You don't have to think about complicated issues. You can sleep when you're unhappy, and hum when you're happy. Isn't that the life you're after?"

"How do you know what kind of life I'm pursuing? My dream is—" I looked up at 45 degrees to the sky, and the pride came to an abrupt end.I really don't have dreams.The furthest dream I can think of right now is to graduate successfully, and I haven't had time for other life plans-or don't know how to do it yet.

I bowed my head in frustration, maybe I really am the reality version of McDull.McDull once said: I am really simple in life. I don’t have fish balls, but rough noodles are fine, and I don’t have rough noodles, but fish balls are fine.

But the reality is, I can't get both fish balls and thick noodles.God said, the fish balls and thick noodles have already been booked.

I smiled wryly: "You really hit the spot, I really am a pig. Fortunately, you also found a cute image spokesperson, and I feel a little more balanced in my heart."

Fang Yuke looked at the lake in the distance and smiled: "McDull is greedy, so he is stupid. What about you?"

I finally knew what Fang Yuke looked like.

Like what Tang Bohu said, "half-step madness with a smile", it is made with honey, Chuanbei, Platycodon grandiflorum, and Tianshan snow lotus.No matter how poisonous Fang Yuke's words are, no matter how unbearable it is for you, in the end there will always be a sigh and a ray of warmth in you.

I'm bothered again.

Sure enough, McDull is greedy, so he is stupid.I have to agree with him.

Fang Yuke's repositioning has brought a lot of inconvenience to my life.For example, talking nonsense is no longer wanton, meetings have been deliberately reduced, and the previous unscrupulous physical contact has been reduced to zero.

At first Fang Yuke didn't pay attention to it, but he didn't notice it until I didn't participate in swimming training for two consecutive times.

He called me downstairs bluntly, and said in a fierce tone: "Have you taken the wrong medicine recently? The last time you said you were like a pig, you have held grudges for so long, and you were not so careful before."

I kicked the stones on the side of the road with the toe of my shoe and said nothing.

Fang Yuke was a little anxious: "Are you really angry? I have said all the more exaggerated things before, why are you so fragile now? Do you want me to tell you a brain teaser, and tell a bad joke to pass?"

I really don't know what to say anymore, he opened and closed his mouth like before.How can I tell him that the past was the past, but now I am a little dazed, wondering if I like him or not?It is enough to confess this kind of thing once in a lifetime, or to be rejected once in a lifetime.Otherwise, it would be the same as me and Xiaoxi, who thought they could be ordinary friends, but never thought that meeting and talking would become a burden for the other party.

Fang Yuke imitated my appearance on the bus, shook his head and said, "A turtle walked over a pile of excrement, but only left three footprints on it, why?"

"Because it covered its nose with one foot." I said softly.

Fang Yuke breathed a sigh of relief and smiled: "It's true that the other party's answer is very uncomfortable because of the sharp turn of the brain. However, this time is an exception. Because you and I can finally talk normally."

Oh, forget it, forget it.Don't take your relationship too seriously, it annoys me before you figure it out, if you really want to say one, two, three, four, don't I go crazy?

Fang Yuke looked at my slightly relaxed face and said, "Let's go swimming in the afternoon. If you don't practice, you really won't pass."

I decided to despise it strategically, and to respect it tactically.Specifically speaking, in terms of thought, I conclude that the confused mood after talking with Julie this time is purely a psychological suggestion and has nothing to do with feelings. Unknown feelings; in actual actions, I should not take it lightly, and I must not be in front of him and pretend to be aggressive.

So during the swimming class, I talked to Fang Yuke like a split personality:

"It's great to be able to swim? Is it possible to grow two wings and fly to the sky? Try flying 200 meters in one breath?" ——Finding balls.

"Fuck you, don't hold my hand, men and women can't kiss each other. Can a country rough man like you hold my slender hands?"——Pretend to be B-type.

"Hey, I don't let you touch it, but you do. Who is blushing? Which eye of yours saw me blushing? Are you colorblind today?"——Sinister type.

"Thank you for teaching me how to swim. Don't say thank you for your kindness. I'll treat you and Ru Ting to dinner another day." ——The polite style.

……

Fang Yuke looked at me like a monster, and suddenly jumped over and pulled my hair, and said while pulling, "Take off the hood! You're not Zhou Linlin, tell me, who are you? Who sent you here?"

... The height of the devil is one foot high, and the height is ten feet high, and people are so childish, but they still make me fail.

Because I immediately said in a more naive manner: "The poor nun was originally a little girl in the nunnery. I saw the little benefactor passing by the peach blossom forest in the nunnery on Qingming Festival. The benefactor passed among the flowers without a single leaf touching her body. The little nun is so lovesick every day. Unable to panic, I dared to incarnate as a layman and meet the benefactor to relieve lovesickness."

Fang Yuke returned to his normal tone: "It's normal like this. It was really awkward to speak in a strange way just now. If you do this again in the future, I will ignore you. Let's see who can bear your appearance."

When he said this, I suddenly softened my heart and forgot about strategy and tactics.

(End of this chapter)

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