Concubine like a house

Chapter 203 Extra Story: Concubine's heart is like a journey, gathering and dispersing silently (6)
The empress breathed a long sigh of relief, and finally let go of the thoughts she had been holding on to all day, and replied with a smile: "The concubine thanked the sage for the name, and will send the princess to the Lingxi Palace tomorrow. The concubine Dan has a very good temper, and she will definitely be able to do it." Raised the princess wonderfully."

"Yes. The empress is virtuous, and I am very comforted." The Emperor Tianshou praised a few words, and Longyan was slightly pleased.

"Your Majesty, please rest. You have to go to the court tomorrow." The queen persuaded at the right time, but the emperor did not refuse.

The lights in the bedroom of Fengchao Palace gradually went out, and the queen slept very peacefully that night.

But who knows, the emperor tossed and turned for a whole night.

In fact, there is no perfect way in this world, and some are just the word "heart".

Six, beginning to know the taste of human love
The ancients once said: "Death and life are false births, and Qi Pengshang is false. The future looks at the present, and the present looks at the past."

Every time I read this sentence of life and death, I can't agree with it.Xu Shi knew that his life was not long since he was a child, and I have never had much emotion about what happened before and after my life.What if life is long and short?In the end, there is no escape from the word "death", sooner or later.

That being the case, why bother to be obsessed with longevity?At least for me, there is no fame, wealth, emotions or desires worth chasing.I also can't understand why my mother values ​​fame and glory so much.

Ever since I found out the real cause of my father's death, I became more and more estranged from my mother.It's not to blame her for her temperament, it's just... Now that I know that one day I will leave early, why pretend to be a loving mother and filial piety, and make her feel sad when I'm done, sending the white-haired man to the black-haired man?

Since death is inevitable, let's maintain a sense of alienation from the world!It's not a bad thing to come quietly and pass away silently without disturbing the world.

Perhaps I have harbored this idea for too long. I have always been reluctant to get close to others. I lived alone in a corner enjoying the quietness and tranquility. Over time, I accidentally got the name "Exiled Immortal".

When Danxin mentioned these two words to me, I could only laugh it off.It is probably because Yunfu's family background is too high, and it is too mysterious in the eyes of the world, which makes others look at me like this.But how can there be a person who is exiled in this world?
At the very least, it should never be a dying immortal who suffers from leg problems.In fact, for a long time, I thought I wouldn't live past 15.

I still remember that my father and marquis once arranged a marriage for me, and the woman came from the Xia family, which has been scholarly for generations.In terms of family status alone, the marriage between the Yun family who was in business and the Xia family who was in Wen was a good match.What's more, no one in the Xia family has been an official for nearly a hundred years, and they don't provoke disputes in the court, which is quite to my liking.

As far as I can remember, I have met Xia Yanran several times, because I knew she would become my wife, so I treated her closer, and always referred to each other in small characters: I called her "Pinyan", she called me "" Take the brother."

At the beginning, I also thought about continuing the incense for the Yun family and raising eyebrows with Miss Xia's case, but since I suffered from leg disease, I stopped thinking about it and proposed to dissolve the engagement with the Xia family.

My mother persuaded me a few words, but never reprimanded and persecuted me, and finally agreed reluctantly.

After the divorce, I met Xia Yanran again, when I was 13 years old and she was only 11 years old.Although she pretends to be a slender lady, in my eyes, she is still a naive and naive yellow-haired girl.

At the very least, a lady would not come over without any scruples after being annulled, which makes me think she doesn't understand the meaning of the word "annulled".

I still remember that time when we met, she lingered in front of the gate of my garden, looked at the three characters written in a clear and handsome style and asked: "Brother Wan, why is your garden called 'Zhiweixuan'?"

Sitting in a wheelchair, I looked up and replied without hesitation: "This is a sentence from "Book of Changes"-'A gentleman knows the subtlety and the light, knows the softness and the strength, and the hope of ten thousand husbands'. Shibo is very knowledgeable. , should have taught you."

The "Uncle Shi" in my mouth is Xia Yanran's father.

Hearing this, Xia Yanran immediately replied proudly: "That's natural! My father said, 'The body of all things is from soft to hard; I also know that the end is in line with the way of the gods, so it is looked forward to by all people.'”

Xia Yanran knew it by heart, so she turned to me and asked, "How? How did I do?"

"The answer is good, and the recitation is fluent, but do you know the meaning of this sentence?" I asked again bluntly.In fact, I don't believe that she, an 11-year-old girl, can understand the meaning of this, and even I can't fully figure it out now.

Sure enough, Xia Yanran was stopped by my question, and she was stunned for a moment and asked back very unconvinced: "What about the elder brother, do you know?"

I laughed.It seems that the Xia family's way of raising their children is still superficial. Xia Shibo taught his daughter to recite so many chapter epigrams, but Xia Yanran didn't understand the meaning.But for her age, being a girl again is not bad.

I thought of her unconvinced question, and didn't want to argue too much, so I shook my head and said perfunctorily: "The name of this garden was inscribed by the ancestors, and I can't understand it."

Xia Yanran didn't answer the words, she didn't know what she was thinking, she just looked up at the word "Zhiweixuan" in a daze.After a long time, her crisp voice came again: "But I heard that the name of this garden has another origin, which is different from what you said, Brother Wanzhi."

"Oh? What's the origin?" I was a little interested by her.

Xia Yanran raised her sleeves to cover her face with a coquettish smile, and replied half mysteriously: "I heard that the founding queen of the Daxi Dynasty was named 'Nie Weinong', and your garden is called 'Zhiweixuan'. The ancestors wrote about her."

"Nie Weinong?" I took advantage of the situation to look at the three characters on the garden, and it was the first time I heard of this "allusion".There have always been rumors in the family that the ancestors had a close relationship with Empress Nie, but it is a little inappropriate to openly use the empress's maiden name as the title. I personally think this is not the way of my ancestors of the Yun family.

So, I bluntly denied this statement: "You know better than me, a descendant of the Yun family?"

Xia Yanran snorted softly when she heard the words: "Brother Wanzhi doesn't care about world affairs, he is extremely noble, so why would he care about these rumors and secrets? Naturally, we ordinary people can hear about them."

I was a little surprised to hear this comment, especially from Xia Yanran, who is only 11 years old - I am considered a "noble" person.

However, Xia Yanran didn't continue this topic. She looked at me for a while, and suddenly showed a bit of disappointment, and suddenly asked in a crying voice: "Brother Wan, why are you retiring the engagement? Is it because you don't like me?"

Seeing how she was about to cry, I realized that she didn't understand, she understood what "retirement" means.

It is really unbearable that I accidentally hurt a girl whom I regard as my sister.What's more, in this marriage, she has no fault at all, it's because of me that I have ruined her reputation.

"Pin Yan..." After calling out her small characters, I didn't know how to comfort her, so I could only tell the truth, "You are fine, I don't dislike you. It's just... I don't want you to suffer with me. .”

Speaking of this, I found that she was crying more and more, so I had to explain again: "You are still young, and there is still room for retiring the engagement now; if it is a few years later, I will delay you, even if you don't If you get married, you will innocently bear the name of 'Kefu'."

"But I just like you." Xia Yanran burst into tears, and I was at a loss.Persuading people is really not my forte.

She just kept crying, and I was silent on the sidelines.After a while, she cried and asked me intermittently: "Brother Wan, how do you know that your life is not long? You are not a prophet... Do you think you can live for a few more years?"

How many more years?With my current body and bones... I pondered to estimate, and replied to her: "There are about two or three years of life left."

"A lifespan of two or three years..." Xia Yanran stopped crying immediately, raised her eyes and asked me, "Brother Wan, can we make a bet? I don't ask you to marry me, I just want to make a bet with you. "

"What bet?" I really couldn't bear to refuse her again.

Xia Yanran raised her hand and pointed at the three words "Zhiweixuan", and said with a twitch: "You said that you still have two or three years to live, but I don't believe it. If you pass through the age of 16 safely, you will be able to save the garden's life. Can you change your name?"

change name?I didn't agree immediately, but instead asked, "What do you want to change to?"

"Name it with my small characters, and change it to 'Zhiyanxuan'." Xia Yanran's eyes burst out with a bit of eager anticipation, which didn't quite match her age.In particular, the request she made surprised me.

Just now she mentioned the rumors about the origin of "Zhiweixuan", and now she asked me to change it to "Zhiyanxuan"... The meaning of it is very clear.

At such a young age, Xia Yanran's mind is so precocious?
I subconsciously wanted to say no to bet with her, but then I thought about it, I just broke off the engagement of this girl, if I refuse to agree to this little bet again, I'm afraid it will make her even more sad.Besides, this can be regarded as an encouragement to me, encouraging me to continue to live, at least for a few more years.

After all, her intentions are good. Thinking of this, I couldn't refuse, so I followed the trend and said, "Okay, I promise you."

"Really?" Xia Yanran immediately smiled through tears, and stretched out her right little finger, "Brother Wanzhi can't go back on his word, get hooked with me!"

"It's a child's trick." Feeling helpless and amused at the same time, I reached out and reached out to her to make a promise: "Pin Yan, thank you."

…………

This scene at that time was quickly forgotten by me, because even I couldn't believe that I could live past the age of 16.It wasn't until later, when I passed my 17th birthday with difficulty, that this bet was suddenly remembered by me.

Although I don't believe in gods and Buddhas, who can tell clearly that the bet back then didn't support me in the dark?When my leg disease relapsed countless times, and I was in pain, maybe that crying girl was praying for me far away!
I did lose and I owe Xia Yanran a favor.And the divorce back then has already hurt her... Since I no longer plan to marry a wife in this life, why should I care about the name of a gardener?Might as well give her comfort, and it can be regarded as alleviating my guilt.

So, when I was 17 years old, I personally changed the name of this garden, and the "Zhiweixuan" where Li Xinhou lived for generations officially changed to "Zhiyanxuan".

However, fate is so unknown and mysterious.I still miscalculated!Lost to fate!
Abandoning the relationship between mother and child, looking down on the fate of master and servant, and ignoring fame, fortune and wealth... I thought that the lake of my heart had long been calm, and I could laugh at life and death in this life without being surprised.

But no one expected that just two years later, I would meet a woman in the other courtyard of Zifeng in Jingzhou.

So far, I have finally tasted the taste of the seven emotions and six desires in the world.It also made me understand why there are many kinds of desires in the world, and why some people can't bear to live and die in the world of mortals.It turned out that there was destined to be such a person or an event that would crash into it, making it impossible to avoid.

When I met Chuxiu, I was so caught off guard.

The encounter, acquaintance, acquaintance, mutual agreement... along the way, everything is beyond my expectation.Suddenly, I regretted my short life so much, and I was greedy for this world.I will look forward to every morning, glad that I have lived an extra day; I will also linger every sunset, worrying that I will not wake up forever.

Because of this woman, she began to know the depth of the knowledge; knowing the depth, she will be greedy for the world of mortals.

When I made up my mind to bring Xiu back to the mansion, Zhuying reminded me more than once that she looked like Xia Yanran.

looks like?I have long forgotten Xia Yanran's appearance. The impression that that immature girl left on me at that time, except for that tearful face, was the bet she made.Also, there is a tear mole in the corner of her eye, that's all.

I am not Zifeng, I never linger in love, let alone care too much about a woman's appearance.For me, most women in this world are similar, except Chuxiu.

At least while I was alive, so longed for her.

As for my death, I don't expect her to abide by her life, and I can't bear her to die for love.As long as she can give me a place in her heart when she is dying, it will be the greatest comfort on my way to the underworld.

Chuxiu's life will be very long.

And my whole life, from the moment I met her, was on credit.

I am grateful to God for this encounter, although it came too late, it is better than never having loved at all.

(End of this chapter)