let me look at you

Chapter 57
She couldn't fight and didn't want to fight with that person, even without this kick, the moth would die sooner or later.It is an incomplete monster, but the sun has already shone on it, has it tried, will it die without regret?
The person who stomped the moth to death was Qi Jianying, the oldest prisoner in their cell.Qi Jianying was tall and stout. I heard that when she was young, she was a slender woman with a good face.Eight years ago, Qi Jianying, who was still a helpless housewife, heard that her husband in business was cheating, found the love nest of the adulterer and adulterer with a pointed fruit knife, knocked on the door, and risked The danger of being beaten to death by her husband who was several times stronger than her, she insisted on resisting the man's fist and stabbing into the bodies of the two people she hated to the bone.When the couple fell down, Qi Jianying sat in a pool of blood all over her body and called the police.It is said that when the police arrived, she was holding a knife with a gratified smile on her face.

The man's mistress died, but the man was rescued in the hospital.Qi Jianying was arrested, and the court read that her husband used domestic violence against her many times before the incident, and sentenced her to death with a reprieve.In the third year after entering the prison, she took off the hat of death reprieve and changed it to life imprisonment. Even if she can still fight for another commutation of sentence, what awaits her is a long prison sentence.She is now in her 40s, and even if she can be released from prison in 20 years, she will still be an old woman in her dying years, and her life will be ruined.

After Qi Jianying was imprisoned, her personality changed drastically. She was eccentric and irritable. Everyone was afraid of her.

The same prisoner is also divided into three or six grades in the prison. In addition to the different prison terms, the circumstances of different crimes are also different.In women's prisons, the most feared ones are usually murderers, such as Qi Jianying, she is ruthless enough to do anything, and her sentence is long enough that she is not afraid of anyone. The dumb can only admit it.The crimes of robbery, drug trafficking and abduction are second only to murderers, and most of them are ruthless characters, followed by economic criminals and thieves. The last and most bullied and despised are prostitutes.Pingfeng was arrested because of prostitution, and suffered more than anyone else. Although Ju Nian is also a "new recruit" and looks quiet, everyone knows that she was imprisoned for robbery. The fear, the bullying is not too much, the life is actually better than Pingfeng.

Some old prisoners take a small advantage in everything, and leave the dirty work to the "new recruits". There are no males in the prison. Some people say that the mosquitoes that fly by are males.Those women in their prime years, especially those with long sentences, must endure both physical and psychological loneliness, which is naturally unbearable.Some female criminals get together in pairs, pretending to be phoenix illusory phoenixes, and some are unwilling. Those weak and newcomers will inevitably be bullied.When Ju Dali couldn't sleep, he kept his eyes open in the dark, and sometimes he could hear Qi Jianying's panting, slapping, the sound of flesh rubbing, and Pingfeng's embarrassment and anger suppressed afterwards. sobbing.

During that time, Pingfeng was often bruised and swollen, and her berth was forced to be changed to Qi Jianying’s lower berth—only newcomers and low-status prisoners would sleep in the lower berth, because there was only one narrow aisle in the cell for eating, drinking, and drinking. Sleeping and doing manual work are often on the bed, and the lower bunk is often a mess.Ju Nian knew that she was not the only one who was awake every night, and most of the people in the same cell saw it, but they were all scared of being beaten, dare not speak out, or simply watched the show in the dark numbly .The prison guards are not surprised by these things, as long as they don't make a big mess, they almost turn a blind eye, especially for old prisoners like Qi Jianying, the prison guards are unwilling to provoke them even if they play hard.

Ju Nian sympathized with Pingfeng, but she couldn't even save herself, so who could she save?She has been in prison for a long time, and many people have also seen that her "robber" is the donkey of Guizhou. She has no moves, and they all start to step on her, and she gets more and more slaps. Who will sympathize? she?Women are different from men. There are very few women who are cruel by nature. People in women's prisons are either out of love, or for money, or are forced to be helpless. Most of them have experienced unimaginable suffering, and the prison is a purgatory made of suffering. It will wear down a person's kind nature and make people numb and cold.If you can't be a meat eater, you can only be someone else's food.It is no wonder that some people say that prison is a place where good people become bad and bad people become worse.

Ju Nian thought, one day she will become numb to all this.Five years is longer than a lifetime for a young girl.One night after two months in prison, she heard Qi Jianying humiliating and beating Pingfeng again in the dark.Maybe Qi Jianying was tired of Pingfeng, maybe Pingfeng's "serving" made her dissatisfied, the muffled sound of fists falling on the flesh made people shudder in the silence, and then Ju Nian heard Qi Jianying pressing Pingfeng's head against the wall The sound of collision.It is not a big deal for a prostitute to be beaten to death in prison.She knew she shouldn't be meddling, but after she closed her eyes and plugged her ears, she rushed to the window within a minute, yelling loudly that she had a stomachache and needed to go to the bathroom, and finally called the prison guard on duty.

Pingfeng recovered her life, but left a dark red scar on her forehead.Ju Nian's actions not only violated the prison management regulations, but also disturbed people's dreams, and angered many prisoners, especially Qi Jianying.She seldom wants to think about the later pain, she doesn't know where her limit is, she just closes her eyes, tomorrow will still come, she still has to face the job that can never be completed.She is as young as Pingfeng, but more beautiful and clean than Pingfeng. She has long been the target of many female criminals, but her silence at a different age makes them wait and see.Finally, Qi Jianying saw that she was just a toothless woman, and after finishing a day's work one day, she climbed into Ju Nian's bed.

Ju Nian struggled under Qi Jianying's fat body, and every movement was exchanged for Qi Jianying's head-on beating.Everyone in the cell pretended to be snoring, and her resistance became weaker and weaker like a slap when she was drowning.From Lin Henggui to Han Shu, and now Qi Jianying, is this a nightmare she cannot escape?

That night, guards and prisoners throughout the prison heard the howling that resounded through the silent night.When the prison guards on duty came whistling frantically, they came in the blink of an eye and opened the door of their cell, only to see Qi Jianying, whose face was covered in blood, madly kicking Ju Nian, who seemed to be cooked. He curled up tightly like a shrimp, without saying a word, biting a bloody thing in his mouth - it was Qi Jianying's entire left ear.

The prison guards carried the two men away separately, and there were two large pools of blood on the ground.

Ju Nian had been lying on the hospital bed for nearly three months, and she didn't even know it had been that long.In those days when she was on the edge of coma and sober, she vaguely knew that the prison had issued a critical illness notice to her family, but no one came to see her, and she didn't expect anyone to come.Maybe this time, just die, the last lonely caterpillar, maybe after death, in another world, you will meet the happy Wu Yu among the flowers.

But she couldn't die, and the poor treatment conditions in the prison hospital actually saved her life.Two months later, one morning, she saw the sunshine shining beside her pillow soberly.

Wu Yu, you don't want to see me yet, do you?
If you can't die, then live well.She heard Wu Yu say that in the dark.

Ju Nian once again convinced herself to make peace with fate. Maybe her life is still very long. Compared with this life, five years is not so difficult, or she can stay in prison for a shorter time.The nurse who delivered the medicine in the morning opened the door and came in. Seeing Ju Nian weakly catching the sunlight with her fingers, she even smiled on the hospital bed, "Miss Nurse, your hair is beautiful."

Due to some special reason, Ju Nian's cause of disease was only left in an extremely vague line in her file.After recovering from illness and returning to the prison, Qi Jianying, who was missing one ear, was transferred out of their cell.Ju Nian was a different person from before she was ill, although she was still calm, others always remembered her bloody and unchanging face when she bit Qi Jianying's ear, somewhat lingering fear.And she became more friendly and open-minded, she let herself go, and treated everyone around her well.

Prison labor is mostly manual sewing.The tasks that the prison recruits from outside manufacturers are completed by a group of prisoners. This is called "reform through labor". There are embroidery, beading, and sweater... Most of them are brought back to the day's quota in the cell. Finish.Prisoners have no income and can only earn reform points by working hard. However, the daily quota is too high. To complete the quota, the time for eating is shortened as much as possible, and all the people are immersed in their work, working mechanically. "Xincai" is often punished for failing to complete the quota.Ju Nian adapted quickly to the environment. From the very beginning when she was sewing buttons, her hands were full of needles, and now that she has completed her own quota, she can spare no effort to help other people in the cell.Later, the prison improved its "equipment" and introduced a sewing machine. She stepped on the sewing machine very quickly, and the things she made were smooth and beautiful.Later, she thought, this is also a skill that the prison taught her to make a living.

Because of Ju Nian's good interpersonal relationship, she is considered a little educated, and she is a quick learner. Not only her inmates, but even the prison guards like her quite a lot.She became a room chief, a medical prisoner, a librarian, and also signed up for a self-examination course, representing the prison in various knowledge competitions and winning places...

After Qi Jianying's ear was injured, she was unexpectedly found to have cirrhosis of the liver during a routine examination at the hospital. rise.Because of the previous events, Ju Nian and she should be regarded as old enemies. Now that Qi Jianying is sick, she no longer has the ability to play tricks. As a medical prisoner at that time, Ju Nian had the responsibility to take care of other sick prisoners. The prison guards took their situation into consideration. , thought about deliberately separating them.However, Ju Nian said that there was no need for that, she calmly took care of Qi Jianying, who was getting thinner and thinner, and didn't even say a word when Qi Jianying bit down a row of teeth marks on her palm in retaliation.Finally one day, when she was wiping Qi Jianying's body carefully, the woman who stabbed her husband and a third party 31 times and was feared by everyone in the prison cried like a child in front of Ju Nian.

"He used to love me so much. I spent the best time with him. I went through all the hardships with him when I started my business. I borrowed all my mother's family for him. He succeeded and told me that he didn't want me. It's gone... Woohoo, he doesn't want me anymore... My son says I'm a poisonous snake."

This is the first time that Ju Nian heard about that part of the past from Qi Jianying. At this moment, Qi Jianying is just a poor woman.

Qi Jianying asked tearfully, "Why don't you hate me? Xie Ju Nian, are you sent by God?"

Ping Feng also said the same thing.

Ju Nian laughed, but she didn't answer.She is not an angel. She hated many people, but hated to the end and forgot.Because hate is useless, because life is made up of countless trivial details, unfathomable, some things, some endings, she doesn't know who caused them, is it the person she hated, or herself, she can't figure it out , So if you let go of others, you also let go of yourself.What she does in prison is not to desire a sense of moral superiority, nor to ask for anyone's gratitude, she just wants to make time go faster, and faster.

She is going out.She still doesn't know how Wu Yu's affairs ended, no one told her.Only one person had visited her once in several years, and that person had no knowledge of it.She looked forward to being free, even if she went to the place where his dead bones were buried, one glance would be enough.

Two years later, Ju Nian received a commutation of his sentence, which no one felt should not be done.

However, she often had a dream, dreaming of a cell that was too dark to breathe, the oppressive atmosphere, butterflies fluttering on the bars she couldn't see, the guard's shoes walking down the aisle, the first whistle in the morning The sound of "opening", and then she felt the morning light, and the trampled moths in the light... She always woke up faintly in this scene.

After waking up, she had lived quietly in the yard with loquat trees for eight years with a girl named Feiming.

(End of this chapter)