What do you want in life

Chapter 76
There was deathly silence in the room, and at this moment Xiaoying wondered whether she was no longer in this world, or——was in a dream.

Li Zhen's voice seemed to come from a distant place, "Xiaozhi is not my own son... whose son is he, you should... know better than me."

"This, this is impossible..." Xiaoying denied in a panic, but the panic in her eyes showed that she had completely lost her direction.

The breakup between her and Shen Juncheng, and the beginning of her relationship with Li Zhen took only two or three weeks. In this short period of time, what is impossible to happen?And she, unexpectedly belatedly realized this!
Or maybe she never dared to think about that.

No, she should have thought about it, she also had doubts when she was pregnant with Xiaozhi, but according to the calculation of time, the last time she and Shen Juncheng met was during her physiological safety period, and the child should not be his.

However, the black and white words in front of her eyes proved that she was wrong in her calculations!
The solid city walls that she worked so hard to build in her heart are being overthrown. She can't believe what she sees and hears, but she can't help but believe it. All the truth that was originally hidden in the darkness!

She finally closed her eyes in resignation, her heart was filled with bitterness, she had nothing to say, and indeed she had nothing to say.

And at this moment, she also suddenly understood Li Zhen's recent erratic and unpredictable behavior - no man can deal with it calmly after knowing the truth!

Li Zhen bent down to pick up the test report, he is no longer in pain as it was at the beginning, everything is the most tormented when he hesitates.

Of course, there is still sadness.

"You must be wondering how I found out," Li Zhen said slowly, "When I went for the premarital examination, I knew that our blood type was the same, both O, so after Xiaozhi was born, I always felt that it was unnecessary Go for a blood test, other than type O, he cannot be any other blood type."

Xiaoying lowered her head in pain.

Li Zhen paused for a moment, then continued: "It wasn't until Xiaozhi needed a blood transfusion after his accident that I learned from the doctor that his blood is not type O, but...type B."

"..."

"Although I knew it was unlikely, I was still worried that the doctor would make a mistake, so after I returned to City H, I asked the doctor to retest Xiaozhi's blood in private, which confirmed Xiaozhi's blood type...he is indeed Type B blood, not the O type we always thought, but... I was still worried, so I went for a paternity test..."

"Stop it, I beg you...Stop it!" Xiaoying raised her face suddenly, and quickly glanced at Li Zhen with her red eyes. There were shivering, apology and more panic in those eyes. Li Zhen couldn't help it. The unhurried tone was a deep torture to her.

Li Zhen smiled bleakly, "You are also surprised, aren't you? But, apart from being surprised, aren't you a little bit happy?"

Xiaoying's face turned pale, her lips trembled twice, but she couldn't make any sound.

"I've known about you and him for a long time. Since you... got into his car for the first time." Li Zhen's brows trembled slightly, and he had to pause before continuing, "Maybe you have Just forget about the night I waited for you in the cold wind in the garage."

Xiaoying listened dumbly, now she can only listen to what he says.

"I watched his car drive out from behind the building, and I seemed to have a premonition in my heart. Then, I received your call... That night, I was very sad. I knew that your heart was not with me. I didn't have it before. , in the future... and even more so.”

Xiaoying's nose was a little sore, she didn't dare to raise her head to look at him, this was the first time Li Zhen confessed his heart in front of her, even in the short sweet time after their marriage, he rarely When it comes to his feelings for Xiaoying, he is a person who is used to burying his feelings too deeply.

"Later, there were more and more rumors about you and him in the company. I knew very well that compared with him, I had no chance of winning at all. That's when I made up my mind to let you go."

Li Zhen laughed quietly, "It's a pity that I didn't make it to the end... After you left Nanxiang, I still couldn't help asking for news about you from various channels."

Perhaps because of drinking some wine, Li Zhen's face was slightly flushed at this time, "I admit that I have always missed you, and I always feel that it is impossible for a person like him to be with you for a long time. I know you too well, what you want is a stable family, not some vigorous love. So, I think I still have a chance."

Xiaoying was overwhelmed by his understanding and scheming towards her, she didn't know whether she should be moved or grateful, and she had no way to repay his feelings for him.

Another snort came out of Li Zhen's nasal cavity, "It's okay if you want to laugh at me, but what happened later proved that I was right—you can't be tolerated by the Shen family, I thought my chance had come."

"Guo Jia said that it is very likely that you have gone on a trip. I have spent a lot of time checking the guest lists of several travel agencies, but your name is not there. Based on what I know about you, I don't think you will need it as soon as you have something. People who rely on travel to relax. If you want to avoid him, you will definitely find a safe and stable place to stay for a long time, so I decided to go to County G to try my luck... I found you as I wished. At that time, I thought I was lucky, but Now it seems..." He shook his head mockingly.

Xiaoying remembered the scene when he found herself in County G. It turned out that all of this was no accident.

Li Zhen let out a long breath, but he didn't finish what he wanted to say, "Actually, we both have had a hard time these years, I mean—" He pointed to his heart, "I'm tired .”

"I thought that as long as I could marry you and have children, everything would be settled down. But I didn't expect him to be so persistent with you, and you... probably haven't forgotten him for a day, have you?"

Although the tone is still sarcasm, at this time Li Zhen no longer has anger, but more of a sense of frustration after hard work, "What I didn't expect was that even our children are... In fact, I have What should come to mind is that he and I don't look at all...not at all like..."

The composure he was trying to maintain could no longer last, his face muscles shook violently twice, and he smiled miserably: "Forget it, it's useless to talk." He picked up the folder on the glass table and opened it, and took out two copies. When he handed the documents he had prepared to Xiaoying, his hands still trembled.

Xiaoying took it with red eyes, but the eye-catching black font at the title still hurt her—divorce agreement.

She clutched the two thin papers for a long time, unable to speak.

Li Zhen clasped his palms together, and his whole body fell on his knees. He lowered his eyes and looked at the somewhat worn floor, and said dully, "Sign it, we both... will be freed."

He originally wanted to put his attitude higher. He used to be so jealous of Shen Juncheng and the position he occupied in Xiaoying's heart, and he turned this jealousy into anger on Xiaoying time and time again.Tonight, he originally wanted to apologize generously to her for his rough past, and let Xiaoying return to Shen Juncheng's side with a "benefactor" attitude, so that even if he has already been in this marriage If you lose everything, at least you can save some face.

But at this time, he has no desires, the only thing he can feel is tiredness, his heart has been tired by Xiaoying for four years, until now, it is finally numb.

The signing pen was placed on the small glass table. Xiaoying only needed to bring her over and sign her name on the last column of the agreement, then everything between her and Li Zhen would be a thing of the past.

Holding the thin paper that was as heavy as a thousand, she felt that she had been pushed into a corner. The resentment in her heart was so strong that they converged into a strong air current, frantically wanting to break through the barrier of reason and spray out!
"But why?" Xiaoying tried her best to suppress her emotions, and her hoarse voice trembled, "Since you know everything, why did you go to County G to find me?"

At this moment, her heart was filled with overwhelming hatred, which far overwhelmed the guilt she felt towards Li Zhen because of Xiaozhi's life experience.

She hates him for never forgetting her, she hates his calmness every time he encounters a problem, she hates his precise analysis ability!She hated what he knew about her even more!

If he hadn't looked for her at the beginning, she would have found out that she was pregnant sooner or later, and everything would have been rewritten—she might have gone to find Shen Juncheng desperately, or found a place to raise the child silently, but absolutely not Marry him again, and perform such absurd scenes like now!
Why can he accurately calculate her character, her thoughts, and her choices, but not the final result?

Now, she still has to bear heavy mental shackles because she failed him a lot!

What a ridiculous, lamentable, sad ending!

Li Zhen buried his face in his palms, Xiaoying didn't know if what he was covering up was the same regret as her own, or something else.

For a long time, an intermittent voice flowed from his fingers, "Because...I...have always...loved you..."

Xiaoying sat rigidly on the short pier, the air in her body rushed out violently, but in the end, they failed to form anger, but turned into endless tears, pouring out from her eye sockets.

She burst into tears!
This was the first time that Li Zhen confessed his love for her to her bluntly. Although she had always understood it, the effect of knowing it in her heart and hearing it with her own ears turned out to be so different!
Does she really only have resentment towards him?After four years of being together day and night, does she really have no feelings for him at all?
This intermittent confession softened all her resentment and remorse, and it made her already full of messy thoughts even more chaotic!

Amidst her heart-breaking crying, Li Zhen felt that his palms covering his face were gradually getting wet, his shoulders trembled slightly, and he could hear that Xiaoying's crying contained too many complicated emotions, and Why is he not like this.

There was still an urge to comfort her in his heart, but he restrained it forcefully.

They have made the mistake of going this far, and there is no turning back.

Looking back, he can only continue to be entangled in past grievances. He admits that he is not magnanimous at all, and he can't do the so-called disregard of past suspicions. He forgets and is timid.

What he had gained in the past was all calculated by him carefully, and he never had the courage to do it again.

He even lacks Shen Juncheng's persistence—that kind of persistence, perhaps only those who are sure of this feeling can persist, but he doesn't. The players who came, from the beginning to the end, could only watch from the sidelines, but could not integrate into their roles. He hated such a situation.

So, let's call it a day.

When he lifted his face from the palm of his hand, his face was as calm and composed as ever, and Xiaoying's sobbing gradually stopped in his ears.

He got up, took a few tissues from the table, walked over to pass them to her, and sat closer to her. Now, he can talk to her calmly again.

"I can bear what happened between you and him in the past, and I can bear that you don't have me in your heart, but I can't bear to raise children for others... Divorce is not only my own wish, but also... my parents' wish." He He breathed lightly, "I am the only child in my family, my parents are from the countryside, and I have a strong concept of continuing incense. I will let them know about Xiaozhi's life experience sooner or later. I don't want them to have any thoughts about you... I also , I can't hide this matter because of you. So, please..."

His gaze fell on the paper she was holding in her hand, and he understood that this decision would not be difficult for Xiaoying, she just needed a little time to get used to it.

Xiaoying stared at the page, a sad smile suddenly appeared on her cheeks wrinkled from crying. There is no doubt that everything tonight was carefully planned by Li Zhen. The leader comes to plan, and every palm hit leaves people nowhere to hide.

However, she no longer has the desire to blame him, as he said, love or hate, it's all in the past, what they need is just a ceremony to end it.

"...Okay," Xiaoying raised her hand to wipe away the tears on her cheeks, nodded heavily, "I'll sign."

She knelt down in front of the small table, picked up the pen, brushed and danced a few times, Li Zhen turned his eyes away from the paper suddenly, and there was still a dull pain somewhere in his heart, like a cancer cell, even though he knew it should be removed, But it still hurts.

The two agreements returned to Li Chen's hands again. He glanced at the end, and Xiaoying's beautiful handwriting was impressively in sight, juxtaposed with his handwriting on the same line. inside.

"I will pack up and move out early tomorrow morning. You and Xiaozhi will live in this house first. Oh, if you want, you can..."

"No, I don't want it." Xiaoying interrupted him, and she had already recovered her composure. She was even a little surprised that she was able to discuss the post-divorce issues with Li Zhen so calmly, and she couldn't figure out the future at all.

Li Zhen smiled and didn't force her anymore. If Xiaoying returned to Shen Juncheng, such a house would indeed be superfluous for her. He continued: "There are still some procedures to go through. When I get in touch with the lawyer, I will Give you a call... You can live here as long as you want."

"You...where are you going to live?" Xiaoying still couldn't help asking.

"Stay in a hotel for two days first, and we'll talk about it later."

Xiaoying was silent. She wanted to say that she and Xiaozhi could live with Xiaoyu for a while, so that Li Zhen would not have to move, but when she changed her mind and moved there tomorrow, Xiaoyu and the others would definitely be surprised. Now I can't even figure out a clue, how can I have the mind to deal with the entanglements from others?What's more, there is Xiaozhi, how should she explain everything that happened suddenly to him?

Thinking of Xiaozhi, Xiaoying felt an unspeakable pain in her heart.

"Li Zhen, can I ask you something?" She looked at him beggingly.

"Tell me." Li Zhen lowered his head and fiddled with the folder of the file.

"Can we...can we confess to Xiaozhi later? He, he is still so young..."

"...Yes." Li Zhen took a deep breath. For Xiaozhi, his mood was also complicated. From loving him wholeheartedly to not daring to face it, it was like falling from heaven to hell. How about eradicating the joy from your heart with one stroke?
"You can tell him first that I'm on a business trip, and this trip will take a long time... As for the future, you can come back slowly."

"Thank you." Xiaoying still couldn't help crying.

The mobile phone rang non-stop on the cabinet, but the two sleeping soundly on the bed remained motionless.

"Is it your phone?" Xiaoyu pushed Guo Jia in a daze.

"No, it's yours." Guo Jia said weakly with his eyes closed.

"This music is obviously only available on your mobile phone!" Xiaoyu sighed, still lying on the bed, but trying to stretch his arms to reach that annoying little thing on the bed cabinet.

When I grabbed it and looked at it, I realized that it was indeed my mobile phone. Xiaoyu muttered, "When did you adjust my music to be the same as yours? Really, who is it? It's easy to confuse like this."

"It's called...a couple...suit..." Guo Jia twitched his lips, but didn't even open his eyes.

Xiaoyu sneered and answered the phone, it was Xiaoying calling.

"Sister, you want to invite us to dinner so early! We haven't had breakfast yet..."

"You don't need to come here today." Xiaoying took a deep breath, "I have something to do here, and I will be busy today."

"Ah? What's the matter, do you want us to help?" Xiaoyu was surprised.

"No need." Xiaoying's voice was full of tiredness, "I can do it by myself, anyway, you should live well on your own for the last two days, and don't come looking for me."

Xiaoyu felt something was wrong, "Sister, what's the matter, don't hide anything from me! Didn't Guo Jia and I move to City H just for the convenience of everyone? You..."

"I'll talk to you in two days. I, I'm really busy these days." Xiaoying hurriedly responded, "Don't talk about it, let's do this first."

Before Xiaoyu could speak again, the thread was cut off by Xiaoying.

Guo Jia listened vaguely, then opened his eyes and frowned and asked Xiaoyu, "Are they fighting again?"

"No." Xiaoyu frowned, "Why do I think it's more serious than arguing?"

He lifted the quilt and jumped up, "No, I have to go and have a look."

Guo Jia also quickly got up, "Wait a minute, I'll go with you."

"No need." Xiaoyu stopped her, "It's still early, you can sleep a little longer, I will call you if there is anything."

On the way to the kindergarten, Xiao Zhi was asking his mother, "When will Dad come back from a business trip?"

"It will take a long time."

Xiaozhi blinked, very upset, "Mom, why didn't you wake me up yesterday, I haven't seen Dad for a long time."

Xiaoying smiled stiffly, "He won't let me wake you up. Well, Xiaozhi, anyway, he will come back sooner or later." She glanced at the kindergarten ten meters away, and secretly breathed a sigh of relief. This frustrating entanglement can be ended.

"I want to call Dad, can I?"

"...Okay, let's go tonight, now you should go in for class."

After sending her son to the class, Xiaoying didn't hide in a place where Xiaozhi couldn't see and look at him secretly for a while as before. She came out soon, and sighed in confusion and melancholy on the noisy roadside in the morning mixed with the strong smell of gasoline. Take a breath.

When it was dawn, Li Zhen got up to pack his luggage. Xiaoying also stayed up all night, and got up very early to help Li Zhen tidy up.

Li Zhen took out the necessary replacement clothes for this season from the closet and put them at the end of the bed, while Xiaoying folded them one by one and packed them neatly into the suitcases. The situation is no different.

When everything was ready, Li Zhen bent down and picked up the box. Under Xiaoying's silent gaze, he glanced around the room cautiously, and finally his eyes stopped on Xiaozhi's face.

Xiaozhi slept soundly, unaware that this family has undergone earth-shaking changes overnight.

This child once condensed Li Zhen's endless love, but now...he couldn't bear to look at him, and suddenly turned and walked out of the room.

Xiaoying followed behind with sore eyes, and she saw all the changes in Li Zhen's expression just now. She understood his feelings, and because of this, she didn't know what to say.

(End of this chapter)