What do you want in life

Chapter 44 Can the Oath of the Past Become Forever (23)
Uncle was not willing to agree, pushing her back and forth, but Xiaoying still didn't take it in the end. She was no longer the lonely and helpless little girl ten years ago, and she took a lot of things lightly.

The father's scandal, the mother's unexplained suicide, these things caused waves in the small G county more than ten years ago.

She still remembered that when the neighbors rushed into the house to tell her mother that her father's body had been salvaged from the river, her mother accidentally broke a porcelain bowl she was holding in her hand, and her pale face.

Rumors spread like wild weeds in the neighborhood that my father, who was demented and handicapped, had been thrown into the river by his mother because she hated him!Because he has become a burden to their mother and daughter!
Xiaoying didn't know if what others said was true, and she never dared to ask her mother. Ever since her father got into a car accident, her mother had become taciturn and eccentric.Many times the mother is in a daze, immersed in her own world, indifferent to what is happening around her.

Xiaoying couldn't figure out this mystery until her mother passed away.

She didn't want to figure it out either.The dead are gone, and if they owed each other something, it's time to pay it off now.

The idea of ​​coming to County G was decided not long after she decided to break up with Shen Juncheng, because she knew that it was impossible for her to stay in City J any longer.

In fact, the place she prefers to go is City H, but she is afraid that Shen Juncheng will go there to find her. The reason why she wants to leave him is because she is afraid that she will be soft-hearted when facing him again, and will be persuaded by him, and then continue to return to the previous place Go in a life that is both joyful and burdened.

Since you want to start over, let's divide it thoroughly.

Except for City H, the rest of the place she is somewhat familiar with is County G. Although there are many past events here that she does not want to recall, after so many years, her heart has calmed down, and it has become less difficult to go back. It's tough.And in her heart, she is a person who desperately longs for a sense of security. She will sincerely be afraid of completely unfamiliar places. Apart from G County, she has no choice.

After packing her luggage and writing the farewell letter to Shen Juncheng, she didn't leave immediately, she stayed until Shen Juncheng sent a text message telling herself that he was about to arrive at the station before slowly leaving the rented house.

She came down with a bag on her back and a suitcase in her hand, but she was still reluctant to leave. Standing in the shadow of an obstacle downstairs that was hard to see, she watched Shen Juncheng, who was besieged by the wind and dust, walking nimbly. Rush in the corridor.

When she turned around, tears had already filled her eyes...

Can't think, can't think!She reminded herself vigorously, bringing her thoughts back to reality.

The line shrunk little by little, and finally it was Xiaoying's turn. She took out the goods one by one from the basket and put them on the checkout board. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of a recruitment notice posted on the back of the cash register, which said that she was looking for tally workers. Her eyes fixed on it, and she browsed quickly.

The economic development of County G has just started in the past two years. It is a follow-up and has no characteristics, so it cannot attract many important enterprises to settle in.Those so-called enterprises settled in the industrial park are just local family workshops that have done well and moved in to fill the facade. They are small in scale and do not require many employees, especially in logistics. They occupy and become saturated.

Xiaoying didn't know when she first arrived, so she aggressively submitted her resume to some companies, but was rejected. The other party replied that she did not have a local registered permanent residence, and they wanted to give priority to local people.

In a blink of an eye, she has been in County G for almost two weeks. The house is easy to settle, but she has no job. It will be difficult to live on the limited amount of savings, and she can't help feeling anxious.

After paying the bill, Xiaoying took out a recruitment notice and walked towards the service desk while reading it. No matter what, she had to have a job first.

At the service desk, I explained my purpose to the staff, and the other party readily handed her an application form, which she filled out at the counter, and handed it in without much confidence.

"Go back and wait for the news." The staff took her watch and answered her neatly, "If there is interest, I will notify you within two days."

It didn't work at all for two days. Early the next morning, someone from the supermarket called and asked her to go for an interview. I chatted with a leader who looked like a manager. It was obvious that the other party was very satisfied with her, and the decision was made on the spot to admit her. .

Xiaoying went to work in the supermarket the next day.

After I went there, I realized that my job search was so smooth. The reason is that many local young people are reluctant to work in the supermarket. However, Wangji Supermarket has high age requirements for employees, so many job opportunities here are taken for granted. It was given to G personnel from other places.

In this way, from the third week after Xiaoying arrived in County G, she became a tally clerk in a supermarket.

In the afternoon, Xiaoying stood on the iron ladder shelf of the supermarket, took out the cans of drinks from the boxes, and stacked them neatly on the shelves.

Her partner, Xiao Tong, shouted and directed her, "Add another 30 cans of coconut milk, 20 for black tea, 25 each for herbal tea and lemonade..."

After replenishing the goods, Xiaoying came down from the ladder, a fine layer of sweat formed on her forehead, she raised her wrist and wiped it gently with her sleeve.For safety reasons, tally clerks must wear long sleeves even on hotter days, since the supermarket is quite air-conditioned anyway.

In the afternoon of weekdays, the flow of people is sparse, so Xiaoying and Xiaotong can stand and rest for a while.Xiaotong is a rare local employee here. He is in his 30s, but has a baby face and a cheerful personality. When he is with Xiaoying, he looks like someone his age.The relationship between the two is really good. Although they have only been working together for three days, Xiaotong has already told Xiaoying everything about the situation at home, but she knows very little about Xiaoying's background, because Xiaoying seldom talks about it. Own.

"Are you really from City J?" Xiao Tong had a hard time understanding Xiaoying's coming from a large and medium-sized city to a remote small county. She always felt that there must be some refreshing reason behind this.

"Yeah." Xiaoying folded her hands behind her back, leaned her back on the shelf, and nodded to Xiaotong with a smile.

"J city is so nice! The economy is developed and there are many job opportunities." Xiao Tong was puzzled, "Why don't you stay there?"

"My hometown is in County G!" Xiaoying replied, half-jokingly, "Ye Luo returns to her roots!"

"Hi! How old are you!" Xiaotong scoffed at her words.

A gentle and fair man wearing a short-sleeved light gray plaid shirt appeared at the entrance of the two rows of shelves. The boy tilted his head and talked to Xiaoying. The figure of the man just fell into her line of sight, with a backpack on his shoulder. , looking strangely at the shelves.Judging from Xiaotong's many years of experience in reading people, there are nine out of ten that he is a newcomer from other places.

"By the way, it's morning shift today, can you go to the kindergarten to pick up your baby girl?"

Xiaoying didn't want to discuss her own affairs with her, so she turned the topic to Xiaotong's daughter. Sure enough, Xiaotong's eyebrows and eyes immediately became vivid, "Yes! I made an agreement with her grandma, and I will pick her up today. --Why!"

As she was talking, she suddenly lowered her voice, secretly tugged on Xiaoying's sleeve, and whispered a little closer to her ear: "That man has been looking at you."

It was a man in a short-sleeved plaid shirt. He seemed to have no interest in the dazzling array of drinks on the shelf, but when his eyes accidentally turned to Xiaoying, he couldn't move his eyes away.

Xiaotong felt aggrieved by his aggressive eyes. Xiaoying was indeed good-looking, but it was too repulsive to stare at her without hesitation!

Xiaoying got her reminder, and naturally turned her head to check, but she was completely stunned when she saw it!
Li Zhenyuan still had a suspicious smile on his face, "Han Xiaoying, it's really you!"

Xiaoying was completely at a loss, "Li Zhen, you, why are you here?"

The little boy's eyes widened from the side, "My God! So you know each other! I said..." Naturally, I couldn't say the latter sentence directly.

In a hurry, Xiaoying did not forget to explain to her, "He is my former colleague."

A supervisor of a supermarket happened to pass by. Under the awe-inspiring gaze of the other party, Xiaoying had no choice but to suppress her desire to ask Li Zhen in detail. With an apologetic smile on her face, she bent down and continued to work.

Li Zhen also realized that it was inconvenient to chat here, so after thinking about it, he asked Xiaoying, "What time do you get off work?"

"Three o'clock."

"Then I..." Li Zhen looked around for a few moments, then smiled and said, "I'll just go for a stroll, and I'll come to see you at three o'clock."

Xiaoying nodded quickly, "Hey, good."

Meeting an old man in a foreign country seems to be a good feeling. Although this old man is a bit special to Xiaoying, she still can't help but ripples of joy in her heart. She is too lonely living here.

Xiaotong was also very curious about Li Zhen. While working, she chased Xiaoying fiercely. She couldn't answer those questions because she also wanted to ask Li Zhen. Fortunately, Xiaotong was quickly called by the supervisor to go to another A container, Xiaoying finally calmed down.

Sure enough, Li Zhen wandered around in the supermarket until Xiaoying got off work, and then followed her to her temporary rented place.

Sitting on the bus, Xiaoying still hadn't recovered from the shock of meeting him suddenly, "I really didn't expect to meet you here."

Li Zhendao: "I took a week off to go out and relax."

Xiaoying laughed, "But there is no good scenery here, and even the human atmosphere is pitiful. If you want to relax, you should find someone..."

"No," Li Zhen interrupted her with a solemn expression, "I asked for leave just to come to County G."

Xiaoying's heart skipped a beat. She seemed to be so happy that she forgot the feelings Li Chen had for her.

"I remember you mentioned that your hometown is here, and I've always wanted to come and see it." Li Zhen paused for a moment, then chuckled, "G County is really not that big, and you can run into you whenever you walk...that's a Isn't it a kind of fate?"

His eyes were no longer covered with oppression like they were in Nanxiang, the light refracted inside was no less than the sunlight outside the car, burning Xiaoying a little flustered.

She had no choice but to quickly change the topic, "Will the company approve you for taking such a long leave?"

Li Zhen lowered his head, fiddling with the straps on the backpack with his fingers, "During the G3 project, Mr. Shen owed me more than two weeks' leave, and he promised to take the time to pay me back. It just so happens that there are few things on hand recently. .”

He looked at Xiaoying and said with a smile, "The holidays should be exchanged in time, otherwise they might be gone."

Xiaoying laughed twice, and after a while, she asked softly, "Shen... Has Mr. Shen already returned to the company? Is he... all right?"

Hearing this, Li Zhen raised his eyes and watched her quietly.

Xiaoying suddenly discovered her own stupidity. Perhaps, she could ask anyone about Shen Juncheng's movements, except for this person in front of her.

Her eyes flickered, and she brushed the loose hair on her temples to cover up, "I also listened to what Guo Jia said, saying that Mr. Shen left Nanxiang not long ago..."

The more she spoke, the more difficult it was, and she kept regretting that she had brought up the matter, but she was unwilling to mention it, like a weed growing in the field of her heart, no matter whether it was pulled or not, it would still feel pain.She really wants to know Shen Juncheng's current situation. Among the few people she can communicate with, who else has more right to speak than Li Zhen?
Fortunately, Li Zhen didn't continue to look at her in embarrassment, and cut off the conversation directly to continue, "He's back, and he's been back for a few days...everything is fine, it's no different from before."

Xiaoying breathed a sigh of relief, and finally heard from him again. These days, whenever she felt lonely, she would wonder what he was doing?How are you feeling?Will he be decadent?
Now, finally, the information she cared about was obtained from someone else.The short four words "everything is fine" made her feel that her pain was not in vain.Even she didn't realize that when she smiled at Li Zhen, there was a bit of gratitude in that smile.

"I don't know what happened to make Mr. Shen leave Nanxiang, or even leave home." Li Zhen didn't finish what he was going to say, "For him, this is actually an unwise behavior. Although he is lacking in experience, he has the ability and foresight, and can do something practical. I always felt very sorry when I heard that he left, but fortunately, he finally came back.”

When he said these words, he never took his eyes off Xiaoying's face. As she listened, she smiled weakly at him, expressing her agreement.

"However, I heard that he came back for another reason." Li Zhen said again.

Xiaoying's heart skipped a beat, although she didn't dare to meet Li Chen's eyes, her ears were straight.

"His mother... got esophageal cancer." He said softly, "The week I asked for leave, Mr. Shen was not at the company. He accompanied his mother to S City for an operation. The doctor said...she can't be stimulated any more in the future .”

Xiaoyingku sat on the hard bus chair, her body was so stiff that it almost became a part of the chair, her mind was blank, she had no idea.

In a haze, she felt a feather-like holy halo slowly rising from the whiteness with wings, rising, and flying to the boundless sky.She watched it get farther and farther away from her, until it disappeared...

When the car slammed on the brakes and the sharp and piercing sound of wheels rubbing pulled her back from the trance, she gradually understood what the missing thing was.

That was the last glimmer of hope she had for Shen Juncheng, which she dared not admit, and which was hidden deep in her subconscious during the day, she would never face it, only in the dead of night, when she was lonely to the point of despair , will jump out from the bottom of my heart to comfort her.

Now, it is completely shattered.

Li Zhen stayed at Xiaoying's residence until after dinner before leaving.

The two chatted a lot about Nanxiang, and Xiaoying found that Li Zhen was not as rigid as she thought, and his views on many things were very insightful, even hitting the nail on the head, which made her look at him with admiration.

She originally wanted to invite Li Zhen out to eat, but he insisted again and again that there is no need to be so troublesome, and he can do as he pleases with how she usually lives.Xiaoying herself hadn't eaten out much, and it just so happened that the store at home was quite rich - she just bought a batch of special products from the supermarket yesterday, so the two of them cooked at home.

Xiaoying was very grateful that Li Zhen didn't ask her why she came to G County. Although she could make up any reason to prevaricate him, lying is not necessarily a comfortable thing.

It is not easy to meet acquaintances from the past in County G. Li Zhen's appearance made Xiaoying sincerely happy, and this emotion even offset the subtle embarrassment that had always existed between the two of them.

The consumption level in County G is not high. Xiaoying rents a house with outdated facilities, but it is close to the business district and the supermarket where Xiaoying works. A 10-minute walk is enough.The possibility of renting a house with the same conditions in J city at the same price is zero.

Li Zhen's hotel is in the west of County G, far away from the commercial street. It is a newly developed urban area, and the auxiliary facilities have not kept up with it. It is difficult to find a place to eat around.

"I booked the hotel through the Internet. The interior decoration of the hotel is good, and G county is not big, so I think it doesn't matter if I book a hotel farther from the central area, and the online introduction doesn't mention the inconvenience of the surrounding area, haha …If I knew it earlier, I should have booked it in the old business district." Li Zhen explained to Xiaoying with a smile.

Xiaoying knew that there was a new city in the western suburbs, and she went there for a walk when she first came. There was nothing but brand new buildings, but when it came to the quality of the interior of the hotel, hotels in the old city couldn’t compare to it. up.

"That hotel is very beautiful, and it is the only hotel in County G that is managed according to the five-star standard. I'm afraid you won't be able to find such a satisfactory hotel in our area." Xiaoying really thought about him, "Maybe it can be like this, in the future you Have dinner here before going back, so the problem will be solved?"

"Good idea!" Li Zhen smiled, "It's just that, coming to bother you every day, will it make you feel too troublesome?"

"Eh?" Xiaoying was taken aback, and soon realized that Li Zhen had misunderstood. Her so-called "here" refers to the business district, not her "home". Of course it doesn't matter, anyway, I'm alone anyway."

"Then thank you first." Li Zhen was not polite, and thanked first with a smile.

After Li Zhen left, Xiaoying returned to a state of being alone again. She slowly cleaned the room, thinking that Li Zhen would come again tomorrow, she was a little happy but also a little troubled.

The joy is because Li Zhen's arrival can somewhat dispel the loneliness in her heart, but the trouble is that he obviously does not give up on him, otherwise why would he come to this remote small county for no reason?

She is such a contradictory person. Perhaps, everyone is contradictory. She has desires but is afraid to give.

The silent night was the hardest time for Xiaoying to endure.The sense of loneliness gushing out from the depths of her heart penetrated into her bone marrow, tormenting her delicately.At this time, many thoughts will also surround her from all directions, and they will give her various suggestions, such as aggrieved, innocent, evil, or ugly.She fought them silently on the battlefield without gunpowder smoke, and was exhausted.

When Shen fell asleep, Shen Juncheng's handsome face floated up from the blurred water, and he walked towards her with a smile...

Xiaoying bit her lip, her thumbs tightly tucked into the palm of her hand, pinching herself so painfully, she stepped back step by step, reminding herself so clearly that the relationship between them is no longer possible, don't be greedy, don't be greedy!

Shen Juncheng stretched out his hand to her, his eyes filled with begging, "Come on, Xiaoying, come with me, don't leave me..."

She is in a frenzied conflict.

Suddenly, a figure whose outline could not be seen made a deep voice behind Shen Juncheng, "Shen Juncheng, your mother is dead! She is dead!"

Shen Juncheng's eyes gradually turned into panic, he suddenly retracted his hand extended to her, staring at her like looking at a demon, then, he yelled, and suddenly disappeared into the air.

Xiaoying felt that her breathing was getting thinner and thinner. She pinched her neck, it was so itchy, as if there were thousands of ants crawling up her throat at the same time!But she couldn't put her hand in her throat, it hurt her so much!

(End of this chapter)