If you can love like this

Chapter 8

I felt like I was melting, as if in order to make me melt more thoroughly, he gently moved me into his arms naturally.He hugged me tightly, burying his head in my hair, reluctant to let go.

I closed my eyes, and there was a tearing pain in my heart, how lonely I am in this world, living a human life, but living like a ghost, no joy, no sunshine, always deeply hurt by everything around me , and the man in front of me is a ray of sunshine, shining on me so warmly, for so many years, no one has ever made me feel so warm, never!

So at that moment, I really hoped that time would stop, because the feeling of being together was so wonderful that when we parted, I was reluctant to put my hand in the pocket of his windbreaker, and was carried by him all the way, and finally reached a crossroad At the mouth, the direction of the two people is not the same, we must break up and say goodbye.

"I'm sorry, I didn't drive today, so I can't take you off." He said with a smile.

"It's okay, you can go back." I waved to him and walked to the other side of the road against the wind.

He also seemed reluctant, and had no intention of leaving, and was still looking at me from the other side of the road.I waved my hand again, but he still didn't move, his eyes drifted past me through the flow of vehicles and people.The two of them stopped moving, as if there was not a road between us, but a rushing river. We looked at each other across the bank. Although we couldn't see the expression on each other's faces clearly, neither of us wanted to just stand in the other's sight Because there are too many variables in the world, no one knows whether we can meet again tomorrow after disappearing at this moment.

And I looked at Geng Mochi across the road, within a few seconds, I suddenly made a decision, I took out my mobile phone and sent him a text message: "It's so cold, there's not even anyone with a warm bed."

He looked down at the text message and laughed, and wrote back after a while: "It's very cold, and I'm short of a stove to hug."

An indescribable sweetness surged up in my heart. After thinking about it, I immediately went back: "Then let's keep each other warm and celebrate New Year's Day together?" He was obviously overjoyed when he received the message, and immediately replied: "OK! Let's go to Shanghai!"

Then he ran over, passed through the traffic and people, hugged me before I opened my mouth to speak, and kissed me deeply. The kiss made me breathless like a storm, and I felt dizzy for a while. The land fell apart, and the whole world was turned upside down in that kiss.

So sometimes when I think about it, I feel that I am completely to blame. I know that there is a fire pit in front of me, but I still jump into it, but what can I do?Women are born with the instinct to jump into a pit of fire, the more others block them, the faster they jump, there is no turning back.It's all right now, I jumped down and was almost burned to ashes, but he was unscathed, maybe he was standing on the shore looking at me and smiling at this moment as if nothing had happened.

One day before the Chinese New Year, I still decided to go home, love has not been found, and I can't even give up my family.I dragged my heavy suitcase to the train station. There was a sea of ​​people, and there was no place to sit in the waiting hall, so I had to put my suitcase upside down and sit on it.Looking at the crowd, I suddenly remembered the scene when I went to Beijing the year I graduated from university. At that time, I was so naive, and everything I saw was new. That is, during that long trip, I met Qi Shujie on the train and changed my life. my whole life.

Thinking about it now, if I didn't know Qi Shujie at that time, I don't know what my life would be like, would it be better than it is now?Hard to say.Worse than now?maybe.

It's just that time flies so fast, I've been married for four years in a trance, and Qi Shujie has gone to another world in a trance.

The train was late, and I was so tired of waiting that I was about to fall asleep sitting on the suitcase.I don’t know how long I’ve been waiting, it feels like a long time ago, the train finally arrived, I dragged my suitcase and lined up to get on the train half asleep, when suddenly someone stretched out his hand and dragged me out of the crowd, which made me yell out loud in the confusion. Before he could see who the other party was, he was dragged out of the waiting room.

"It's dangerous, I almost missed it!"

Geng Mochi let out a long breath, wiped his sweat, and looked very grateful.

"You're sick, what are you doing pulling me out?" I yelled with my eyes wide open.

"I went to your house, your neighbor said you just left, I rushed here quickly, there are people everywhere, I finally found you..."

"Why are you looking for me, I want to go home for the New Year!"

"You go home for the New Year, what should I do?" Geng Mochi stared, his temper was bigger than mine.

"What should I do, you live your life, I live mine!"

"How can I live, my family is all abroad!"

"What does it matter to me that your family is abroad? I don't want to see you!" As I said that, I turned around and went to the waiting hall again. Geng Mochi grabbed me again, dragged me to the outside of the train station square without any explanation, and yelled A taxi, stuffed me into the car like stuffing cotton, jumped into the car and closed the door heavily, and shouted at the driver: "Bitan Garden, drive!"

I kicked and hit me in the car, Geng Mochi suddenly hugged me and kissed my lips roughly.I just felt breathless and immobilized by him, but soon my whole body went numb, and his hand had already penetrated into my sweater.The driver looked back curiously, and Geng Mochi immediately cursed in broken Xingcheng dialect: "Look, let's drive your car!"

I laughed, how rare this is, the great pianist Mr. Geng Mochi can still swear, and he still swears in such a bad Xingcheng dialect.

I smiled, and Geng Mochi also smiled, and gently held my face, and kissed my lips and ears gently.The irresistible electric current made me let go of all resistance in an instant. I looked at the man who fell from the sky in front of me, and I couldn't hide the missing in my heart, yes, I missed.So I stretched out my arms and wrapped them around his neck, and the two hugged each other tightly, our lips never leaving for a moment.

Shameless!I cursed myself inwardly as I clinged to him.

But when I lay in his arms to sleep at night, I felt a kind of dependent and gratifying sense of happiness.It's okay for two lonely men and women to get together to keep each other warm. As for what the people around think, it doesn't matter. Anyway, my reputation has been ruined.

As for not being able to go home for the New Year, my explanation is that my unit has temporarily assigned me to be on duty. There is no other way. Everyone has a family and a family, and I am single. Of course, I can only give up the opportunity of reunion to other colleagues.The old man actually believed it, and kept saying that we can't say anything about work. The unit needs you to prove that you are still useful in the unit. Okay, you can do your work, and you don't need to worry about your family.The old man has worked diligently all his life, as long as the job requires him, he will believe me no matter what I say.

Milan was very excited after knowing that I would not go home for the New Year, and shouted on the phone: "Let me just say, there is no way you, Bai Kaoer, will leave me alone and go back to celebrate the New Year by yourself. Great, I finally have a companion." gone."

"I'm sorry, I may not be able to accompany you," I said with a grin. "You don't need me to accompany you on such an important festival, do you?"

Milan's dog's nose is so sensitive that he immediately forced a confession, "There is a situation! Tell me, who are you with?"

"You'll know when the time comes." I deliberately wanted to whet Milan's appetite. I know her eighth-wife background, and I'm sure I'll get to the bottom of it tomorrow, so I can give her a French meal in a grandiose manner.Last time she knocked over the boiled fish in Wangjianglou, this time I have to make up for it no matter what.Geng Mochi beside him was peeling an orange, and stuffed a piece into my mouth, gagging my mouth.I wrapped my mouth full of oranges and asked him: "Hey, you haven't given me an explanation, have you ruined my reunion with my family, won't you explain?"

Geng Mochi looked at ease, "It's too cold, I want to find someone with a warm bed."

"Hey, are you still afraid that no one will warm the bed?"

"I'm afraid you have no one to warm the bed."

But my excitement was quickly replaced by the insecurities that appeared after the lust. After the two got out of bed, you felt very uncomfortable when you looked at me, and you couldn’t talk together. It's so unreal.I thought sadly, is the passionate attraction to each other really so vulnerable once it is filled with lust?Why are we attracted to each other?
This embarrassment lasted until the New Year's Eve, and we made a serious reservation for a reunion dinner at the hotel.Geng Mochi ordered a table of dishes, I said why order so many dishes, we can't finish eating so many dishes in a week.

"It's okay, it's Chinese New Year." Geng Mochi opened a bottle of red wine and clinked glasses with me.

"Why don't you go abroad to reunite with your family?" I asked cautiously.

"I haven't met them for many years, and I don't have the sense of reunion," he put a large piece of fish into my bowl, "and the New Year's atmosphere in foreign countries is also very light, not as grand as in China. "

I also wanted to ask him about the situation at home, but he interrupted me and said flatly: "Eat, let's eat more and talk less today. If we don't talk well during the Chinese New Year, it will be unlucky for a year."

I hurriedly stopped talking, wondering why he believed this.

Geng Mochi ate very little, and looked at me preoccupied, not knowing what he was thinking.He looks very depressed, is he regretting it?Regret to give up several important performance tasks and rush over to warm me up?Or do you regret playing such a boring game with a tasteless woman like me?Did he expect me to play it, or did he play it himself first?I don't think the latter is very likely. He looks clear-headed and clear-eyed, but the disappointment in his eyes makes me feel uncomfortable...

I looked down at myself, and touched my disheveled hair like a chicken coop, and my rough and dull yellow face, which was quite disappointing. In addition, I was listless and drowsy. I didn’t need to look in the mirror to know that I looked ugly. people.But why is he still staring at me in a daze, why do the beauties all over the street insist on staring at me?I couldn't read his gaze, and I suddenly hated his inexplicable emotions. The loss and indifference mixed with sadness could spread to me across the table.Why is he so sad?It also makes me sad...

The mood of the two has been very low. After the New Year's Eve dinner, when they returned to the apartment in Bitan Garden to watch the Spring Festival Gala, neither of them spoke.The lively and festive pictures on the TV are in stark contrast to the dull and suffocating inside the house.

Finally, Geng Mochi couldn't hold back anymore, he broke the silence and said: "The night before yesterday, no, it should be early in the morning, when I received your call suddenly, I... was excited all night, and rushed over early the next morning."

"Really? I didn't expect that we could meet again." I said coldly.

"What do you mean?" He was very sensitive, and immediately counterattacked sharply, "You want to stop here?"

"You thought of this so far, right?" I suddenly changed my face.

He didn't say anything, just looked straight at me.

The four eyes met, and no one moved for 2 minutes, but it was those 2 minutes that turned things around again.Geng Mochi slammed me down on the sofa, threw me on my body and gnawed viciously, I fought back tenaciously, fought with him, hit the carpet from the sofa, rolled around in the room, I Her hair was loose and her clothes were in a mess.

I rode on him and grabbed his neck and yelled viciously: "Don't think you are irreplaceable, the men who want to sleep with me line up, don't put on a stinky airs for me as a beggar! You don't like me, If you don't want to play anymore, you can get out, why should you show me face? What kind of heart do you have, tell me, what kind of heart do you have!"

Geng Mochi was stuck in the neck and couldn't speak, but he was a man after all, he rolled over and pressed me under him, he also grabbed my neck and growled: "You are such a ruthless, heartless, heartless bastard!" Woman! Did I come all the way here just to see you lose my temper? Who do you think you are? Women who want to sleep with me are really lined up. My sincerity can’t impress you at all. That's right, I just want to play with you, don't you think so too? We are all the same thing!"

My mouth was open, I was breathing hard, and I was dying.

Geng Mochi was startled, and immediately let go of his hand. He looked at me in fear, and then at his own hand, as if he didn't believe he was the one who grabbed me just now.He quickly helped me sit up and patted my back, "I'm sorry, I... didn't mean to..."

He stood up and stretched out his hand to pull me.

With a "snap", a slap was slapped on his face, loud and clear, deafening.Dazed by this sudden move, he covered his face and stared blankly at me, who was full of tears.

"Why are you still looking for me?" I suddenly broke down and yelled at him hysterically, "What are you going to do to me? Tell me, what are you going to do to me?"

Geng Mochi stepped forward and hugged me fiercely, with his chin resting on my head, and said emotionally: "What can I do to you, I just want to be with you, I'm so lonely, no one is with me, no one cares ..."

"You... bastard..." I grabbed his collar and wept bitterly.

He held me tightly, as if he could never let go, and his voice was rough, "Yes, I am a bastard, I even look down on myself. But there is no way, I am afraid that I will never see you again, really, I I miss you, I miss you even in my dreams... Believe it or not, I found out that I fell in love with you, just now, I really fell in love with you..."

I trembled in his arms!God, I've slept with him so many times, and this is the first time I've heard him say he loves me.Do you hear me clearly, he loves me!I looked at this uncertain man sadly, I didn't know whether to believe it or not, love is really an inexplicable thing, I was going to give up!
I have no choice but to surrender.I scolded myself cheap in my heart, but I couldn't help it. I just couldn't help thinking about him and liking him.By this time, I knew that none of us could outplay the other, and we all played ourselves into it.Is this an accident?It doesn't matter, there are accidents in this world every day, and life and death are staged every day. There are so many faces in the vast sea of ​​people. Each other, so we can only regret and miss each other in the long night.No, I don't want such remorse!
"If you dare to leave me, I will still strangle you!" Geng Mochi hugged me and said.This bastard can't even pretend to be gentle for a while.I pushed him away and kicked him, "Go to hell!"

(End of this chapter)