If you can love like this

Chapter 71

I use all my strength to love someone, not asking for anything in return, just asking for his well-being, not asking to stay together forever, only asking for the same hole after death.

It's been almost a month and it seems like the rainy season in Seattle has just begun.The light rain enveloped this bustling and quiet port city.The life between Geng Mochi and I has become calm, but his condition is very unstable. Every day, I watched him take a lot of medicine, see him lose weight, see his appetite decrease day by day, and often feel nauseated and vomited. Cut like a knife but powerless, I didn’t dare to ask for anything, tolerated his bad temper, so that when he got angry at me, I was actually a little sad and happy: this man still has the strength to scold me, he is still alive, What should I do if one day he lies down and cannot move?
Geng Mochi has never had an intimate relationship with me, we still sleep separately, he sleeps on the bed, and I make a bunk next to him, so that it is convenient to look after him, and I gradually got used to it.

That night, there was a strong wind blowing outside, the raindrops slapped on the glass windows, and the ship was shaking.The temperature suddenly dropped several degrees.I was too cold to sleep and curled up in a ball under the covers.

"Come up to sleep, it's cold tonight." He heard my breathing, and felt compassion.

"No need." I refused.

There was a rustle in the darkness, and he rolled over and got out of bed.

"You are so stubborn!" He leaned over and picked me up, put me on the soft bed, hugged me and fell asleep.

But I woke up in the middle of the night, and Geng Mochi was tossing and turning on the bed, he seemed to be very uncomfortable. I wanted to send him to the hospital, but he said he was fine, but his stomach was upset and he had difficulty breathing.

I kept rubbing his stomach, propped up his pillow, and tried to let him breathe as smoothly as possible.At this time, the moonlight was shining on the bed through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and his expression was very bad. It could be seen that he was trying his best to suppress his pain, and he didn't dare to make a sound, for fear that I would worry.I watched this man suffering from illness in the dark, and I could only keep silent.

Tears silently rolled down my cheeks.

"You cry."

"No, no."

"I still said no, I can already smell your tears." He closed his eyes in the dark, but he seemed to understand everything.

I didn't speak, just stroked his chest over and over again, trying to make him feel better.

After a while, he suddenly said, "I want to go back to New Zealand for Christmas."

"Why do you want to go to New Zealand?"

"Go see my mother."

"Oh."

"Perhaps the last time I saw her."

"Mochi!" I choked up, and hugged him tightly in the dark, as if as long as I hug him so tightly, he won't leave.

There was the sound of his heavy breathing.

He stroked my hair with his chin, and sighed softly, "You have to be mentally prepared, Kao'er..."

I hugged him tightly with all my strength and buried my head even deeper.

Is there any psychological preparation that will change anything?No matter how we calculate, we can't calculate fate. When I fell in love with him, I was not psychologically prepared, but I never really regretted it. Love is love, and wrong is wrong. Rainier Snow Mountain, no matter what the result is, it has been eternal in my heart.

It wasn't until the middle of the night that Geng Mochi fell asleep from exhaustion.

In the morning, while eating breakfast, he seemed a little distracted, and I asked him what he was thinking.He said "um", looked up at me, stared at me with a deep gaze that I had never seen before, and suddenly said, "Let's move."

I really don't know much about Geng Mochi. I live well on the boat, but suddenly I want to move to the shore.It doesn't matter if I don't agree, I can refute what he has decided.But on the day of moving, when he led me to Mrs. Henry's house, I felt dizzy and wanted to die. At that time, I guessed that he might have planned it for a long time.

I was almost dragged into the new home by him. As soon as I entered the door, I was so surprised that I couldn’t close my mouth. Although the decoration of Mrs. Henry’s house has basically remained the same, all the furniture and furnishings have been changed, including curtains, carpets, and decorations. Freshen up.Geng Mochi has always had high requirements for life, he is very particular about food and accommodation, and never uses things that others have used.As I guessed, he bought this house by no means in a day or two, he had planned it long ago!
Julia must have told Qi Shuli about us moving next door right away, and Qi Shuli came to drop by in the evening, and Geng Mochi just went downstairs, showing a rare smile to his new and old neighbor.

"I'm sorry, it was a mess when I just moved in, so I can't entertain you."

"It's okay, we're neighbors again, I'm too happy!" Qi Shuli watched us move to his next door, smiled, and extended his hand very warmly, "Welcome, welcome, it's going to be lively now, we're destined for each other. "

"Yes, it's fate." Geng Mochi also held his hand with a smile.

I stared at the two men who shook hands and made peace, and couldn't figure out the situation for a while. When did these two men have such a good relationship?Qi Shuli exchanged polite greetings with Geng Mochi, "From now on, I'll be like my own family, if you need help, just say, I'll make arrangements..."

"Thank you, not yet."

"Where is the employer? Have you hired someone?"

"This... I haven't had time to ask for it yet."

"Then I'll call Julia over to help. Anyway, she's been with Cathy for two years and knows each other, so you don't have to look for her anymore. If you're not in good health, you don't have to worry about it." Qi Shuli was considerate.

"Then what about your family?"

"For me, I just need to find someone else, it's just a phone call."

"Thank you so much!"

"Here again, I said don't be so polite, I am very happy to be your neighbor, you know everything, and you can watch world-class performers play the piano for free."

"Yes, we all know the basics, haha."

"Yeah, hehe."

The two men were sitting on the newly replaced sofa, smiling and talking freely, as if the polite gentleman had to meet the heads of state of the two countries.Geng Mochi never told me why he moved here to be neighbors with his deadly enemy. When I asked, he would practice Tai Chi, "There are no permanent friends in this world, and of course there are no permanent enemies." This was his answer.

Can a fox and a hunter be friends?Ghost letter!

But the houses of the two families are too close to each other, the garden is connected to the garden, separated by only a fence, and the balconies of the bedrooms on the third floor are only a few meters apart, so it is no problem to stand on the balcony and say hello.The curtains are drawn at night, but during the day you can clearly see the activities of the other party in the room.I often see Qi Shuli walking around the room in home clothes, looking at me from time to time.

Most of the time when he sees me, I do cleaning in the bedroom by myself.Geng Mochi is very strange, not to mention cleanliness, no one is allowed to enter his bedroom except me, including Julia, I have to do the hygiene of the bedroom myself, I still act like a servant, tidy the bedding, change the sheets, and wipe the furniture , vacuum the carpet, clean the bathroom, scrub the toilet, whatever.Geng Mochi hates the strands of hair in the room the most, as long as he sees them, I will eat them. Every day after he wakes up, I will barefoot, looking for strands of hair in the bedroom with thick brushed carpet, under the bed, beside the sofa , Looking back and forth behind the curtain, I almost missed it with a magnifying glass.Qi Shuli saw it several times, and asked loudly from the opposite balcony: "Cathy, what are you looking for?"

I was embarrassed to say I was looking for a strand of hair, so I replied, "I'm looking for a soul."

It doesn't feel good to be spied on. Geng Mochi and I proposed to move to another place many times, but Geng Mochi firmly refused. There is nothing you can do about this person.The thing that annoys me the most is Julia, I was so stupid to ask her to help, because Julia is Qi Shuli’s eyeliner next to Geng Mochi and me, our every move can’t escape his “surveillance”, sometimes If I quarrel with Geng Mochi, Qi Shuli will know when it's time for a cup of coffee, even how long I took a nap in the afternoon, what I had for dinner, and how long Geng Mochi and I went for a walk, Qi Shuli knows everything... I'm going crazy!

I want to send Julia away, but Geng Mochi still doesn't agree, the reason is "I just want him to know how much we love each other", but God testifies, there is no love between us, neither sharing the same bed nor hugging and kissing, If you don't quarrel, you will burn high incense!Geng Mochi's condition fluctuated, and his temper became very bad. He would get angry at every turn, and regret it after he got angry. This had a lot to do with the large amount of drugs he took.

Those drugs brought great side effects while controlling his condition, hurting his organs and affecting his emotions. Most of the time he quarreled with me and I could only bear it. stimulate him.

That night, Geng Mochi refused to take the medicine after vomiting profusely. No matter how much I tried to persuade him, he refused to listen. In the end, he dropped the cup and asked me to get out. He doesn't need an old mother like me.I was so angry that I rushed out of the house, full of grievances and nowhere to confide. I wandered around the lake alone, and when I was tired from walking, I sat on a chair and cried.The temperature at night was very low, I was wearing a thin sweater and skirt, shivering from the cold, and my mind gradually calmed down, I began to wonder if Geng Mochi lost his temper, and how to coax him to take his medicine when I go back later.

A car slowly drove over from the lake, and its headlights illuminated me brightly.

"Cathy, why is it you?" With the car window rolled down, Qi Shuli poked his head out in surprise, "It's so late, what are you doing here alone?" He opened the car door and walked down, looking me up and down, "What's going on? Did he lose his temper with you again?"

"It's okay." I wiped my tears in embarrassment.

"It's okay, my face is frozen blue, hurry up and sit with me for a while." He stretched out his hand to pull me.

"I said it's okay, and I'll go back when his anger subsides."

"When his anger subsides, you will freeze to death here!"

"Do you tube!"

"I don't care, who cares? Your parents still think we're together!" He took my hand again and said softly, "Well, come and sit in my car, it's warmer inside."

I didn't refuse this time because I was too cold.He drove the car out of a woods on the side of the road, turned on the heater to the maximum, and took off his suit jacket and put it on for me. "Still cold?" He asked, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"It's not cold anymore, thank you!" I pushed him away uncomfortably, I'm not used to being so close to him.

Qi Shuli's dark eyes showed sadness, he looked at me and sighed: "Cathy, even if we are separated now, I can still take care of you, right, is it necessary to resist so much?"

I opened the car door and was about to get out, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"What!" I struggled.

"His anger doesn't dissipate so quickly, what's the rush!" Qi Shuli sighed, and stretched out his hand to wrap my shoulders again, "Do you really not miss the days when we were together at all? All the sacrifices I have made in the past are really worthless." Isn't it worth your thinking? I think about our past every day, and the more I think about it, the sadder it becomes... Kao'er, I'm really sad..."

He called me "Kao'er" again!I turned my face away and didn't want to look at him, so he stretched out his hand and turned my face away. I saw the dimness in his eyes. I haven't looked at him so closely for a long time, and I feel that he seems to be much older.

Qi Shuli also looked at me with painful eyes, "Kao'er, what you need to make clear is that I acquiesced in allowing you to return to Geng Mochi's side not because I gave up, but because I cared about him. After all, there are only a few days left. You stay with him Taking care of him by my side, I have done my best, otherwise you will blame me for the rest of your life."

"What do you mean?" I looked at him as if being burned, "Are you waiting for him to die?"

"Kao'er, what are you talking about, why am I waiting for him to die?"

"Isn't that what you mean? What acquiesces me to stay by his side, what kindness and righteousness, who do you think you are? Geng Mochi is only a few days away, and he will die if he doesn't have a heart transplant. You probably think he is going to die I will definitely come back to you again, what do you think of me?"

"Kao'er, is that how you see me?"

"Isn't that what you think? I just exposed you!"

Qi Shuli was really angry, and lowered his face, "You are an asshole!"

"Yeah, I'm a bastard, I'm still a white-eyed wolf, I just don't appreciate you being so kind to me! Not only am I ungrateful, I can also tell you clearly today that no matter how long Geng Mochi can live, I will definitely keep it. Let him go to the end, you don't need your acquiescence, you don't need your approval, whether I was by your side in the past or now we have broken up, I am an independent person, I didn't sell it to you! Even if Geng Mochi is dead, I won't Back to you, you and I have already ended, OVER, understand?"

I finished speaking in one breath, opened the car door and ran away.

"Kaoer—" Qi Shuli lowered the car window and shouted at me, "Do you have to be so heartless?"

I didn't look back and ran all the way.

Tears have flowed down my face unconsciously, I know I owe this man behind me, but there is no way, love is not a gift, you can give it at will, even if he hates me, it is better than me perfunctory him and drag him down for the rest of his life.

For many days after that, Qi Shuli didn't come to visit. Occasionally, the driver came to pick him up in the garden. He also got in the car and left in a hurry. When he saw me, he looked at me like a stranger.

I think I really offended him.

That's fine, at least he no longer has hope in me, time always dilutes everything, he will have to face the fact that we have broken up after all, when I coughed up blood in his arms two years ago, he should understand that in this life I only want Will live for a person, or die.But he still can't face up to this matter. I think everyone has weaknesses. Even a rational person like Qi Shuli can't avoid getting stuck in a certain matter. I can only pray that he can figure it out as soon as possible. Other than that, there is nothing I can do , even if he hates me, I can't help it.

But soon I couldn't care whether Qi Shuli hated me or not, because there was another person who hated me even more. I almost forgot the existence of Milan until I received her call that morning.

It was a rare day of good weather. The rain that had been raining for almost a month finally stopped. The sky was as blue as it had been washed. The morning sun slowly climbed over the green treetops and shone 180 degrees into the living room unobstructed. Through the large floor-to-ceiling windows, you can see that the garden is full of greenery, and many flowers that I can’t name are blooming. Julia opened the window early in the morning, and the room is filled with a light fragrance of flowers.

When the call came, I was preparing Geng Mochi's medicine, and he was still sleeping and didn't get up.

The phone on the coffee table rang, and I picked it up without looking at the number.

Before I could speak to the other party, I reported myself: "It's me, Milan!"

My heart jumped into my throat.

"What exactly do you want? You haven't paid me alimony for a year... Do you have a new love? I know you are in the United States now, don't think I can't find you if you hide in the United States. Geng Mochi, don't be too Excessive, although we are separated, but I am your wife, if you don’t give me money, what will I live on, you talk! You are dumb!..."

With a snap, I picked up the phone and turned it off.

This woman hasn't changed at all since I haven't seen her for two years. Her voice is so piercing that one can imagine her hideous face covered in makeup through the microphone.It's unbelievable to think about it, I have had a friendship with her for more than ten years!After Geng Mochi woke up, I told him about Milan's call, this time he didn't deliberately avoid it, and said coldly: "Don't pay attention to her, she is already crazy now."

I really wanted to know what was going on. He glanced at me without avoiding it, and vaguely talked about what happened in the past two years. Although the words were vague, I could still hear the general ins and outs clearly.Geng Mochi said that he and Milan had been separated since they went to Japan, living their own lives without interfering with each other. At first he would pay Milan a considerable amount of alimony on a regular basis, but later he discovered that she had spent the money on things she shouldn’t have spent. place, so the alimony payment to her was terminated a year ago.Milan was noisy and tried every means to ask him for money, but his attitude was very firm, it was fine to ask for money, unless divorced!Otherwise, no money will be given.

"If you don't give me money, what does she live on?" I was a little puzzled.

(End of this chapter)