If you can love like this

Chapter 68

"Mochi!" I grabbed his shoulder, tears streaming down my face, "Take me away, far away from here, even if I die with you, please take me away..."

"Don't be silly."

"No, Mochi, for so many years, I have been trying to erase you from my life. Every time I almost succeed, I finally find that I can't live without you. If I leave you, I will die!"

"Kaoer, listen to me. I'm a man. Although I'm not a good man, I still have the basic principles of being a man. You are his man now. If I take you away, what will I become? Besides, the doctor said I can only live for one year. What will you do after one year? Die with me? No, Kaoer, I don’t want you like this, I want you to live well, live for yourself, and live for me... "

"No!" I threw myself into his arms, hugged his neck tightly and cried loudly, "Mochi, I don't believe what the doctor said, he's scaring you! I can't live without you, you should know, Mochi!..."

"Kao'er!" He was also emotional and hugged me tightly.

This is the love we fight for with our lives. Even if we are as humble as the dust, God will not favor us at all. Even if we are thrown into the deserted wilderness, as long as we can be together, even if we die in his arms, it will be fine. .There is no place in this world that can be warmer than his embrace. His breath and his heartbeat will be my best memorial.However, I overlooked that we are not in the wilderness, we are in the mansion of Qi Shuli in Seattle, this man, this man is right behind us...

"What are you doing—what—what!"

I only found out about Geng Mochi's admission to the hospital the next day, when his assistant called and told me.I knew it would be like this, when Qi Shuli scolded Geng Mochi, he didn't treat him as a patient at all, his heart couldn't be stimulated even a little bit, and his face turned pale at that moment.I cried and begged Qi Shuli to stop scolding him, but I was slapped, and half of my face is swollen to this day.

Qi Shuli pointed at Geng Mochi's nose, the flames in his eyes almost burned the weak man in front of him to ashes, "You are really nothing, I accept you so tolerantly and let you be her teacher, but you still let me Disappointed, don’t you just want to die? You just die, what’s the big deal! Tell me to die now, I can do it too, I treat you as a gentleman in vain! Since you are going to die quietly, why bother you? Qing! You know she can't let you go, but you still come to pester you, what do you want? Do you want her to die with you? She is mine! Life is my person, death is my ghost, don't dream that I will make it happen you!……"

These words came out of Qi Shuli's mouth, it was very harsh, I couldn't stand it, let alone Geng Mochi.He didn't even refute, and when he left sadly, he staggered, and Qi Shuli chased him to the door and yelled at him: "Don't enter my house again, don't let me see you in Seattle, get out! Get out of here, never again return!!"

I was very confused about what happened next, and my mind was buzzing all the time. I didn't wake up until Geng Mochi's assistant called me at night, and hurried to the hospital in downtown Seattle.

Geng Mochi was still in a coma.

I met his assistant outside the intensive care unit, who was very young and capable. He told me that Mr. Geng was sent to the hospital in the afternoon, woke up for a while in the evening, and kept calling my name.The assistant found my number on his cell phone and called to tell me.

"How is he doing?"

"Very bad, I have to send it back to Japan."

"Back to Japan?"

"Yes, there is his intensive care doctor there, who understands his condition."

"when are we leaving?"

"Wait until his condition stabilizes."

I have been lying on the glass window of the intensive care unit watching him, with an oxygen tube inserted in my nasal cavity, and I have to use a machine to breathe. "I'm sorry!" I begged his forgiveness in my heart, it's all my fault, my fault!
When Geng Mochi woke up, it was already the evening of the second day.I lay down beside his bed, he couldn't speak, he could only look at me helplessly, and stretched out his hand tremblingly to caress my red and swollen face.I told him not to say anything, and I told him that I decided to leave Qi Shuli and stay with him till the end.He sighed and shook his head.I kept watch until midnight, and didn't go home until he fell asleep.

Qi Shuli sat on the sofa in the living room, watching me go upstairs.

"I'll find the best doctor for him," he said behind my back.I stood on the stairs and looked back coldly, "Forget it, it's over, I'll leave in two days, and go to Japan with him."

"you dare!"

"There's nothing to dare. You ruined all of this. Originally, I wanted to live with you. It seems that I can't. Please respect my choice, and please respect yourself."

After saying this, I went upstairs to sleep, not in the master bedroom, but in the guest room.What he held in his arms was still the box of broken cigarette butts.I hope that I can give him the heat of life with my own temperature, even if I lend him my heartbeat, I can do anything, as long as I can keep his footsteps away!
When I woke up in the morning, I saw Qi Shuli sitting by the bed as soon as I opened my eyes.

The sunlight pouring in from the window behind him made his backlit face even darker.His eyes were fixed on the jewelry box in my arms.I was afraid that he would snatch it away again, so I hugged him tightly.

"Get up, I'll take you to the doctor, your hand seems to be infected." He said softly.

Infected hands?I stretched out my hand from under the quilt, and was startled. The entire right hand was swollen, the hair on the fingers was black, and the broken skin began to fester.I had been ignoring it before, but only now did I feel the heart-piercing pain spreading from my fingertips to my whole body.

Qi Shuli looked at me wearily and helplessly, "I'm sorry! I didn't do it on purpose, you should know."

"I don't blame you, you are not wrong, because I know you love me, love is not wrong! And I love him, I am not wrong, the fault is that I should not accept your love, which makes you fall into the current difficult situation Extricate yourself, just like I can't extricate myself, so don't waste time on me, I'm not worth your sacrifice, and I won't sacrifice myself anymore, just to stay with you..."

"No, no, Kao'er..." He called me "Kao'er" again, and he could clearly hear the determination in my tone, "I said it was my fault, I can change it, I will do anything according to you, As long as you don't leave me, Kao'er! Kao'er, you can't leave me!"

Qi Shuli nervously got up and sat on the edge of the bed, stroked my face, and looked at me with a kind of pleading eyes that he had never seen before. He said a lot to me, trying to save me, but I was determined, the more he talked The more I feel that this mistake should end, I can't hurt him for the rest of his life!

After I went to the hospital by myself to get bandaged, I packed my luggage when I got home. I couldn't move my right hand, so I could only rely on my left hand.After stuffing a few clothes into the box, he was ready to go downstairs with the box of cigarette butts in his arms.Qi Shuli stood at the top of the stairs, his gaze finally turned cold after he had exhausted his pleas to stay, he looked at me with no emotion in his tone, "Think about it, it's easy to get out of this door, but difficult to come in again .”

"I'm starving to death outside and won't come in again."

"He won't take you to Japan."

"Why do you say that?"

"I know him. If he takes you away, he will put himself in an unkind situation. He is not such a person."

"It doesn't matter if you don't take me away, I can live alone."

"What do you live on? You don't even have a place to live."

"I'm temporarily staying at a friend's place, I'll be looking for a job..."

"Then good luck to you!"

Qi Shuli was really predictable, Geng Mochi did not take me away, and went straight back to Japan while I was busy moving.Send me a text message before leaving: Don't be angry with him anymore, go back.

I rushed to the hospital in a state of desperation, and just happened to meet his assistant who was paying the medical bills. He handed me a bunch of houseboat keys, saying that Geng Mochi had given me the instructions, and asked me to take care of them.

"Is he back?" I asked the assistant.

"Should be, if he recovers well."

"Oh, that's good, I'll just wait for him."

It's really nice, I don't have to squeeze Monica's apartment, her boyfriend is often in and out of the apartment, it is really inconvenient for me to live there.I then moved my luggage to the houseboat by the lake.The inside is very tidy. Obviously, someone cleans it every day. Geng Mochi doesn't know how to clean it, maybe it's a part-time worker.The houseboat is divided into upper and lower floors, the downstairs is the place for meeting and dining, and the upstairs is the bedroom and study.I've only been here once and never been upstairs.

What a big bedroom!Occupying half a floor, the room is covered with thick brushed carpets, and one side of the wall is full of floor-to-ceiling windows, facing the lake. It must be very beautiful to appreciate the dim lights on the lakeshore at night.I can't understand Geng Mochi very well. He has high requirements for life, and this doesn't change everywhere. Look at this luxurious, huge wardrobe in the dressing room full of new clothes, some of which even still have labels. No matter how bankrupt, only a fool like me believes what he said.I originally wanted to call Monica and Yingzhu to come to visit, but I thought that Geng Mochi is a person who likes to be quiet and has a cleanliness habit. Monica is fine. It’s no wonder that the crazy girl Yingzhu didn’t mess up the house when he came. I’m afraid Geng Mochi will come back. Will peel off my skin.

For dinner, I made a mix of Chinese and Western mixed rice, which is to stir-fry the ham and mushrooms bought from the supermarket together, so there is no need to make separate dishes, it is delicious and convenient.While eating, I looked at the lighted harbor outside the window of the restaurant, and my mood finally calmed down.Just finished eating, the mushroom is still in the throat, the living room phone rang, startled me, who will call?
"What are you doing?" was his voice.

"Eat...eat."

"Make food in my house?"

"……Yes."

"I kill you!"

Gosh, does that sound like a sick person's words?A few days ago he was still in the intensive care unit...

"Just be careful, mess up the house, and see how I will clean you up when I come back!" He yelled on the phone, although his voice was still weak, but he still felt fierce.He has always been seldom warm to me, even if he is tender occasionally, it is mostly when I am dying, and I have been used to it for so many years.

"How are you doing over there?" That's what worries me the most.

"You can't die for the time being, you can still be tortured by me for a while."

As soon as I heard this, my nose became sore, and my voice became choked up, "Mochi, you have to take care, come back no matter what, otherwise..."

"How about otherwise?"

"Otherwise how can I afford the charter fee."

"Dead girl!"

……

Just after September, Seattle has started its long rainy season again.Because of the influence of the warm Pacific Current, the winter here is not cold, with little snow, but continuous rain all day and all night. "It rains nine months a year." This is the classic line in "Sleepless in Seattle".In fact, from September until April of the following year, the entire Seattle area will be filled with continuous rain.On those rainy mornings after I moved out of Qi Shuli’s mansion, I stood by the side of the road waiting for the bus, watching the bus drive slowly towards me on the wet street through the rain and white mist, there was always an inexplicable feeling sentimental.

No wonder the number of suicides in Seattle is always high every year, and many people suffer from depression. This has something to do with the hazy weather. Such bad weather will inevitably make people feel depressed.No, it has been more than half a month, and the drizzle is not heavy, but it is enough to drench you without shelter, and there is no sign of stopping at all, which brings a lot of inconvenience to people who commute to get off work every day.On such rainy days, you can always see all kinds of umbrellas on the streets of Seattle. The green trees in the streets and lanes seem to be washed, showing their green color. Seattle is a city surrounded by forests and lakes. Except for roads and parking lots, there is almost no bare ground. There are lush trees and green grass everywhere. Even the rain that floats around and the wind that blows gently, they all have a green color. This is the charming charm of Seattle. The location is a unique scenery that is difficult to see elsewhere.

It's just that now I don't have the leisure to enjoy the style of Seattle, and the pressure of survival makes me breathless.Qi Shuli quickly froze the deposit in my account after I moved out, and even specially called me: "I froze the money in your account, if you need it, come to me!"

I immediately hit him back with my broken English: "Thanks, I don't need it now. But, if I starve to death in the street, please tidy my body away and get a good rest in the heaven, OK? (Thank you , I don’t need it yet, but if I starve to death on the street, you still have to collect my body for the sake of my compatriots, and let my soul return to my homeland, okay?)"
"OK!" Qi Shuli readily agreed.

will i go to himI have hands and feet, even if I go to a coffee shop to serve coffee, I will not starve to death!I immediately started looking for a job. I had no education and no work experience, so I could only serve coffee at coffee shops.I have lived in Seattle for two years and have no worries about food and clothing. I have never studied the value of the U.S. dollar. Now, I sell my labor at a low price in exchange for the U.S. dollar.I checked the accounts, and three of the four accounts were frozen, and the only one left was just over 2000 US dollars. Obviously Qi Shuli hadn't killed me all, leaving some leeway, at least the money could last for a while before I found a job.

But people are not as good as God, I haven't gone out to look for a job, but the money collector came to the door, the rent of Geng Mochi's houseboat is due, why didn't this guy say it earlier!The ghost who collects the money is a black man, tall and tall, with a grin, revealing a mouthful of dazzling white teeth, which reminds people of monsters in Hollywood horror movies.But he was very friendly and told me that Mr. Geng had prepaid the fee for three months. He asked me how long I was going to pay this time. I said to pay one month first. The black brother reported the number: "[-] US dollars .”

My legs trembled and I almost fell into the lake.But the words were already out of his mouth, and he couldn't take them back, so he obediently went back to the house to withdraw [-] dollars to the ghost with a big beard.I just drew that money from the bank, and it's not hot in my hand yet!I hurried back to the house and opened my wallet to count. There was less than four hundred dollars left. It was terrible. I didn’t know if I could last a month without eating bread every day. Seattle is a very rich city with a high level of consumption.

No way, the top priority is to go out and find a job!

It went well, and I found a job as a waiter in a large-scale coffee shop in the urban area, with several office buildings next to it.The boss is a Taiwanese with a big belly. He is very friendly and pays me by the hour.I agreed without even thinking about it. At this time, I have no right to be picky.

There are coffee shops everywhere in Seattle, and Seattleites are famous for their coffee.This is the living habit brought by the rainy season to Seattle. Under the gray cloud and the water vapor all over the street, the whole road is full of dampness that cannot be shaken off. If you walk into a roadside cafe at this time, the room is full of steam The hot air and warm lights will make you temporarily forget the fatigue all over your body, and become comfortable and comfortable. Some ineffable emotions float in your mind, sometimes touching, sometimes sad, which make people nostalgic.

The coffee shop where I work is doing very well. Every morning, many people who work in the building flock here. Like the other guys in the shop, I wear a white shirt, black trousers, and a big dark green apron. Shuttle between shiny silver coffee pots, at the end of the day, backache, dizziness, and tiredness when I got home, I couldn't even speak.It's not easy to support yourself.

The boss and his family are all helping in the coffee shop. His sister, who is about my age, named Jenny, asked me where I lived when I got off work on the first day. I said I lived in a houseboat by the lake, and she immediately showed an unbelievable expression.Because people who live in houseboats or yachts in the Lake District are either rich or expensive, she probably can't imagine that I live in a luxurious houseboat but go to work in her coffee shop.

(End of this chapter)