If you can love like this

Chapter 51

We parked the car by a lake, the lake is not big, the lake water is clear, there are many water birds playing and circling by the lake, I walked through the green grass to the lake, looking at the lake, my mind suddenly flashed, I have been to this lake!It must have been here in a dream, otherwise it would not be so familiar. Although it is not as wide and beautiful as the Tianchi Lake, Kanas Lake, Sailimu Lake and Swan Lake we have seen along the way, it is really familiar. The lake water under the blue sky and white clouds The whirl is like a belt, the water plants by the lake are swaying, and the small fish swimming freely come to my face with a familiar aura as if in a lifetime. I stood by the lake in amazement and was speechless for a long time.

Geng Mochi hurriedly asked me what was wrong, I said I had been to this lake, and Geng Mochi laughed at me talking in my sleep during the day.I also find it a bit unbelievable, "No, you don't understand, I really feel that I have been here before, and I am very familiar with it..."

"You are really sentimental," he looked at me and smiled, "but now I understand why you chose the Yalanju in spring on the other side when choosing a house. The lake is somewhat similar to this place."

Later we sat and talked by the lake, and he rarely mentioned his sister Annie, a daughter adopted by his mother. He said that Annie also liked lakes very much. She originally learned painting and liked to draw lakes since childhood. There are lush forests around the lake, and there are always boats floating on the lake.I asked him, "Where is your sister now?"

He shook his head, "I don't know, she has been flying all over the world since she was an adult, and I haven't seen her for two years, but she said that she will come to Shanghai to visit me this Christmas."

"Where's your own sister, how come you don't know where she is?"

"Oh, you don't know her. My younger sister has been a jerk and deviant since she was a child. No one in the family can control her. But she has a good relationship with Jinyi. They have completely different personalities, but they get closer than me. "

"Why did you break up with Jinyi?" I suddenly jumped to this topic again.

Unexpectedly, Geng Mochi did not resolutely refuse as usual, but fell into deep thought. The moment of trance made me feel that there was a huge wave in his heart.

"Fate, feelings really depend on fate." After pondering for a long time, his answer was still vague.I looked at him, wondering whether his secretive expression was indifferent to that relationship, or was he covering up or protecting something, I think it should be protection, I don't know if he still loves that girl in his heart, but he is very It was obvious that he cared about her, the more he cared, the less he wanted to mention it, so he always kept her in his heart, for fear that someone would hurt her.

I think I should be relieved that he cherishes the woman he loved so much. This is enough to prove that there is actually a compassionate heart under his cold appearance.Whether it was once owned or lost, it is very precious to him.

I sighed, with an indescribable sadness growing in my heart, and reached out to stroke his thin face, "Don't worry, think I'll be jealous or something, no, I won't be jealous. Because that's your past, everyone Everyone has their own past, and I am the same. I am very touched that you cherish the people you love so much, really. I always remember the sentence you told me, loving someone is not simply possession, but Let the other party be happy, I agree with this sentence."

He pulled my hand down and held it in his palm, his expression was blank for a moment, as if he was trying to restrain something, "Kaoer, thank you for being so considerate of me. You are right, I will sacrifice my life for the person I love. Cherish, this kind of cherishing is not staying together forever, but looking at her silently, helping her as much as I can, and praying for her happiness, I am like this to Jinyi, and it is the same to you..."

I thought about the meaning of his words and looked at him, "What do you want to say? Mochi, you have something on your mind."

"What's on my mind, I just feel... I feel like I can't give you the happiness you want with my body like this, Kao'er, the more I love you, the more despair I feel in my heart, you won't understand." He turned his face away, looked to the distance.

"Mochi, why do you always have so little confidence in yourself? Now that medicine is so advanced, there is no way out, and you should understand that the most important thing for two people to love each other is to be together. I have struggled until now just want to be with you Together, even if I get angry with you sometimes, as long as I can open my eyes and see you, reach out and touch you, and have your breath in the air, I feel happier than anything else. Of course, I also hope that you can be happy, if you let go To achieve the happiness of the two of us, I let go a long time ago, think about it for yourself that I have known you for almost five years, what is the reason we are involved now? It is because of love, we love each other deeply, and there is no way to separate..."

"I'm sorry." He hugged me, buried my head on his chest, and kissed my hair, "I'm sorry, Kaoer." He only said "I'm sorry" over and over again. I couldn't say anything else, and kept my eyes on the lake.

At this time, it was evening, and the gorgeous sunset glow in the sky dyed the entire lake red, and the lake seemed to be on fire, burning with fanatical passion.Those waterfowls are also returning to their nests, fluttering their wings across the lake and rushing towards the sky full of colorful clouds. The birdsong by the lake is very lively.Geng Mochi pulled me back, and I was a little bit reluctant, so he said, "Come back tomorrow, the camera is out of battery."

I had no choice but to follow him into the car, maybe because I was tired, we had nothing to say along the way.

But I still feel enveloped by a completely strange emotion, which is not from myself, but from Geng Mochi beside me.I feel that something is brewing in his heart, it is very subtle, just like the lake in Kanas that I have seen before, the color is bright for a while, the color is deep for a while, the bottom is clear for a while, and the bottom is bottomless for a while, his heart is always changing like this Unpredictable, calmer than Tianchi Lake, more exciting than Kanas Lake, narrower than Swan Lake, more melancholy than Swan Lake...

Strangely, after leaving the lake, the direction of our return journey suddenly became clear, the grass gradually turned yellow, the temperature dropped sharply, and the desolate scene of cold wind and yellow grass all over the sky resumed before our eyes.

"What a ghost." Geng Mochi felt incredible.

We finally returned to the hotel in Urumqi at night. We talked about the lake with the locals. They were puzzled, and they all said that they had lived in the local area for decades, and they had never seen such a lake, or even heard of it. Said.I don't believe it. I argued with them and described the lake over and over again. They still insisted that they had never seen it, and that it was already winter. The grasslands in Xinjiang could not be green, and the water birds had already migrated south, let alone any birds. The scene of jubilation on the water surface appeared.Later, we asked several tour guides, and they all said that they had never seen it. I asked if you missed that place because you had never been there.They laughed and said that they walked around here every day, not to mention a lake, even a mouse hole could not escape.I still don't believe it, Geng Mochi said that he will go to that lake again tomorrow and just take a few photos, and they have to believe it if they don't have the photos.I had no choice but to give up, but I couldn't sleep well at night, and my mind was full of that lake.

Early the next morning, I urged Geng Mochi to go on the road. We drove the jeep all the way again, but the strange thing is, no matter how we searched from memory, we never saw the lake again. My heart hangs, is what I saw yesterday just an illusion?How could it be an illusion?I was not reconciled, so I continued to search, but when I searched and searched, I kept going in circles. Geng Mochi said that I can't continue to search like this, and if I run out of gasoline, I will be in trouble.I cried and said how could there not be that lake, I couldn't be dreaming in broad daylight.Geng Mochi hugged me and sighed: "Buddhist scriptures say that everything is related to fate, not only between people, but also between people and things. If there is fate, we can see each other. If the fate is exhausted, even if it is close at hand, we will see each other." Can't see."

I was speechless, and there was an inexplicable ominous premonition in my heart...

But when Lao Deng found out about our adventure, he said that we were lucky people, because some tourists had encountered this kind of situation before. He said that seeing this lake was an auspicious sign, and ordinary people could not see it.

Geng Mochi and I were dubious, but we were thinking in our hearts, are we really blessed people?

Two days later, we returned to Star City, lying on the window of the plane, I was still looking for the lake, hoping to see the lake from a high altitude, but there were thick clouds under the plane, and I couldn't see anything.I was completely desperate. I didn't say a word for a long time, and I began to believe in Geng Mochi's Buddha's saying that if you have a destiny, you can see it.

I leaned on his shoulder and sighed: "Mochi, I think my previous life might be that lake."

"Well, so what?" Geng Mochi closed his eyes and rested, not knowing what he was thinking.

"I must be waiting for someone. Really, I used a lake of tears to wait from the previous life to this life. If I still can't wait, I will definitely wait in the next life. My next life is still a lake..."

Geng Mochi hugged me tightly, "You are too sad."

I sigh, fate arises and fate dies, fate dies to the fullest, this is probably the case for all things in this world.

(End of this chapter)