If you can love like this

Chapter 45

"What do you mean, you've only known that kid for a few days, and you actually hugged him. I'll live next door to you, and try my best to treat you well, but you won't even give me a sincere smile, you Go look in the mirror by yourself, how fake your smile was just now! Bai Kaoer, what do you want me to do to you? Would you still step on me with disdain if I took out my heart? The heart is also fleshy, it can hurt, it can also be sad, do you understand?" He stopped laughing, changed his face as soon as he said it, and looked at me with a kind of cold eyes that I had never seen before, "You talk, Why don't you talk? I haven't seen you for so long. I miss you every day. After finishing my business, I didn't even change my clothes and flew here on the earliest flight. I really miss you, you know?"

"Thank you!" I replied coldly, regaining some composure.

Unexpectedly, as soon as I finished speaking, Qi Shuli rushed forward and grabbed my shoulder, and yelled at me in a vicious voice: "You know why I miss you so much, why do you still treat me like this? Hooked up, just such a rotten person, you can cuddle with him without any scruples, where do you put me? Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!" He shook my shoulder desperately, wanting to pinch it crush me.I was shaken until my eyes stared, and I screamed: "Let me go, let me go, you...you hurt me!"

"Kao'er, why can't you understand my heart? Even if you don't love me, do you have to face me with this insincere fake face? Am I really worthless in your eyes? Do you know You are so cruel, you actually use this method to humiliate me, do you know that you are humiliating me? I am not an iron wall, I am also a person with face!"

Qi Shuli spoke quickly, his face flushed red.I was pinched by him and couldn't move. I opened my mouth and exhaled heavily. Suddenly my mouth was blocked, and Qi Shuli kissed my lips roughly.He was like a greedy boa constrictor entangled me and sucked my tongue. I struggled, kicked and hit me, but there was no way out until he forced me out of the bedroom door.He pushed me into the room, closed the door and yelled at the frightened Xiaosi downstairs: "Get out of here immediately, if you dare to step forward or call, I will ask someone to kill you!"

After he finished speaking, he turned around and rushed into my bedroom. I wanted to use the door to block him, but he was no match for him. He kicked the door open, rushed forward, grabbed me and threw me onto the bed.I have never seen him so rough, so I resisted instinctively, shouting and screaming, and the buttons of his clothes were torn off one by one, and he completely lost control.During the fight, I rolled out of the bed, and he rolled onto the carpet. There was an open floor-to-ceiling window next to the bed, leading directly to the balcony on the second floor. Get on the fence and point to him, "Don't come over, if you take one step forward, I'll jump off, and I'll show you!"

Qi Shuli had probably come to his senses at this time, panting, "Kao'er..."

"do not come!"

"Okay, okay, I won't come," Qi Shuli raised his hands, "Don't be impulsive, I won't come. I'm sorry Kaoer, I didn't know what happened just now, I didn't mean it, you come down, I'm leaving... "

"Get out!" I yelled.

Qi Shuli turned around in embarrassment, walked a few steps and then turned back, his eyes suddenly softened, the fierceness and brutality just now were gone, he looked at me so helplessly, his voice almost choked, "Kaoer, your heart is really Is it so far away that I can't get it in my whole life? We are so close... You really make me desperate. I have never been so desperate in so many years. Kaoer, I am serious. If there is any harm To you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." After speaking, he turned around and walked slowly towards the outside of the house.

I slid down the fence and sat on the ground, with my head in my knees and weeping.

……

In the evening, I called Jin Yi, who hadn't heard from him for a long time, and asked about Geng Mochi's current situation. Now I want to know that news about Geng Mochi can only come through Jin Yi.

"He's been busy with the fund recently."

"What fund?"

"Oh, you don't know, he established a personal music foundation to train and reward young people with outstanding talents in this field. When he is busy with these things, I always feel that he is after arranging It's the same thing, he has never cared much about the business under his name, and recently I have seen him call financial managers and lawyers many times to take stock of property and draft various documents, he is very busy recently." Jin Yi's voice Gently, it always reminds me of her gentle and peaceful appearance, but when I heard about the "funeral affairs", I couldn't bear it anymore, and cried again, "Jinyi, is his illness really cured?"

"It's not that there is no cure, it's that I don't know when I can wait for a heart with the right type. This is really not something that can be done with money, and Mochi himself doesn't look forward to this kind of surgery. He always feels that he can get someone else's heart into his own." Physically it's hard for him to accept, I have been doing his job with his personal doctor, and he has always been very repulsive."

"I want to see him, Jinyi, I want to see him!"

"Don't come here, he won't see you when you come. He has a lot of things to deal with now, and he has consumed a lot of energy to deal with Milan. Milan has lived in Shanghai for a long time now. She was arguing to live in Moyuan a while ago. , Mochi satisfied her. Last week he said he was going to travel to Europe, and Mochi also made arrangements for her. She just left the day before yesterday. Mochi is just using money to buy quietness. He is really quarreled by Milan. You If he comes again, it will be even more difficult for him to deal with."

For days, I was depressed.On weekends, Gao Peng invited me to the riverside for supper, and I didn't have much appetite.Gao Peng noticed that I was not in a good mood, looked at me and shook his head, "You are always too depressed, I have worked very hard to cure your depression, but if you don't work hard, there is nothing I can do." Gao Peng said to me The capricious mood is very opinionated. He always said that I am too melancholy, that sooner or later I will trap myself to death like this, "To be honest, I don't like melancholy women, and I don't have much energy to transform a person. I I’ve tried it, it’s too strenuous, I can’t even reform myself, let alone reform others.”

After dinner, we went to the bar. Actually, I didn't want to go, but I was really afraid of going home alone and guarding the empty room. It was not loneliness, but deep despair.I'm really afraid that I can't help but run to Shanghai. I miss him so much. I think about it, I think about it, and I think of it as the air I live on. I remember it every moment, such as at this moment in the bar. , My mind is completely out of reality.In fact, the surrounding area is very noisy, the air is dirty, and the small dance floor is crowded with men and women who are clinging to each other and dancing slowly. Under the catalysis of dim lights and extremely flirtatious music, those men and women embrace each other and kiss passionately. It seems like they've been dating for years, when they might have been strangers two hours ago.

"What's the matter, did you encounter any troubles?" Gao Peng asked tentatively while pouring wine for me.I took the wine glass and drank it down, buried my head and didn't speak.

"Don't try to drown your sorrows with wine," Gao Peng took the wine glass in my hand, "I've tried countless times, but it didn't work."

I grabbed his hand, like grabbing a life-saving straw, "Tell me, Gao Peng, what should I do? Do you feel the feeling of passing the day like a year? It's the feeling of lifelessness, because of endless missing Let yourself fall into despair, living is more uncomfortable than dying, what should I do, what do you say?"

"Kaoer..."

"Just tell me what to do, don't ask anything, and I won't say anything."

"Another lovelorn woman." He sighed and shook his head.

"I'm not broken in love," I corrected. "Love is something that only you can give up. Even if the other person doesn't love you anymore, if you don't give up, the love will still be in your heart... My current situation is that I still love him He said he wanted me to live my own life, but he never knew what kind of life I want..." I shook my head in confusion, "I just want to be with him, even if it is far away It’s okay to just stare at him. I wish I could die if I don’t see him, I want to die right now, it’s too uncomfortable to live..."

"Kao'er, do you want me to tell the truth?" Gao Peng put his shoulders on my shoulders and talked with me earnestly, "If you want to say that life is better than death, I think I have the most right to speak, because I have been living all these years. It is better to die. I often tell my friends that I am a person who lives in a coffin, living is like dying. Of course, I will come out occasionally to breathe, but when I am the most exhausted, I still choose to lie in, although I feel a little bit inside. My son is also uncomfortable, but after lying down, my heart will be much calmer, and I will come out with enough energy to continue to enjoy life and toss life..."

I stared at him, not quite understanding what he was trying to say to me.

"Do you understand?" He also looked at me and pointed to his chest, "In our hearts, we should reserve a coffin for ourselves. It sounds a bit like that, but in fact this coffin is a good spiritual healing So. When you are struggling very painfully in the mortal world, you might as well lie in by yourself, don’t think about anything, throw all the sorrow and despair out of the coffin, you are the purest self inside, slowly, The wound in your heart will heal, if not heal, at least it won't hurt so much. Then you can come out, the sun will shine, everything will be gone, and you will feel that all the damage is nothing more than that, what to do , it’s no big deal, because it’s a big deal and I lie down again..."

I was dumbfounded.

Gao Peng didn't look at me. He lit a cigarette, exhaled it, and inhaled it again. His expression was clouded by the smoke, as if it was very difficult to say these words.

"Gao Peng, you are a genius, you speak so well, you explain everything thoroughly."

"It's because I see through everything." Gao Peng said with a smile.

"Then I will do as you said, and put a coffin in my heart..."

"Kao'er, what I said to you is not necessarily to ask you to get a coffin, I just want you to take everything lightly, whether it's love, hate, hope, or despair. Don't be too serious, when one day we lie in a real coffin, we can have fewer regrets, live purely when we are alive, and have fewer regrets when we die..."

I nodded repeatedly, "I listen to you, Gao Peng."

"You are not like a very obedient child who makes a scene that shakes the world, and you are doing your own way."

"How do you know me so well?"

Gao Peng laughed loudly, "You are such a person with one intestine to the bottom, if I can't see through it, I will be in vain for more than ten years in the rivers and lakes!"

I grabbed his arm shamelessly and said, "Gao Peng, I adore you!"

When I went to work the next day, Yingzhi called me and asked me if I had a problem with Qi Shuli.I asked what was wrong, and Yingzhi said that Qi Shuli called her into the office in the morning and said a lot of things, to the effect that I ignored him, hoping that Yingzhi could be a peacemaker and so on. "What's the matter with you? Mr. Qi went back and forth to my office several times yesterday, and he didn't have any specific orders. He hesitated and hesitated to speak. This is so unlike him. He just told me the truth today. He accidentally annoyed you, hey, why did he annoy you?" Yingzhi was overwhelmed with curiosity, but I didn't know how to tell her, what should I say about this kind of thing, it's really hard to say.

Although Qi Shuli really annoyed me, I didn't want to destroy his image as a leader in Sakura's heart. After all, he is a neighbor, and it is not my pleasure to make enemies jealous when they meet.Although I didn't look very good when I saw Qi Shuli in the past two days, I didn't really take what happened that day to my heart. I was so confused these two days that I couldn't even think about it, so I thought it was a bee sting. ,I think so.So I lightly said to Yingzhi: "It's nothing, I teased him a few words, he was not happy, and then we broke up."

"Are you molesting him? Is it true or not?" Yingzhi obviously didn't believe it.

"Oh, what's so strange about it? I'm bored. He happened to walk in front of me, so I teased him. You know he's very serious, and I speak casually. There's a generation gap with him."

My ability to open my eyes and tell nonsense has improved again.

"Well, he is very serious, no one in the company is not afraid of him, how can you make fun of him, don't do this, you have to watch your own mouth in the future." Ying Zhi is worthy of being a good employee under Qi Shuli , defended him very much, and also took the responsibility of passing the microphone, "Oh, by the way, Mr. Qi wants to invite you to dinner tonight, will you go... Oh, no, you molested him, why does he still invite you to dinner? "

"Sakura, I still have something to do, let's talk later, that's it, bye." I quickly hung up the phone.I would feel guilty for flicking a kind-hearted person like Yingzhi, as for molesting Qi Shuli, in the next life.

When neighbors get along, some conflicts are inevitable. In order to prevent such incidents from happening again, I thought about it for a long time, and then sent a text message to Qi Shuli: "Don't invite me to dinner, I will treat it as if I was stung by a bee." Half a minute Afterwards, Qi Shuli texted back: "I'm not a bee, as long as a bee stings someone, it will die. Although I'm at fault, I shouldn't die, right?"

This person is so boring, I don't bother to talk to him, I call Yingzhi after get off work and ask her to accompany me to do my hair.Unexpectedly, it wasn't her who answered the phone, it was a man, I was stunned, and was about to ask who the other party was, but the other party came over first: "You are Kao'er, I'm your brother Zhou, why are you looking for Yingzhi? "

"Zhou Youji!" I yelled in surprise, "Why are you? Why are you at Sakura House?"

"We've been together for a long time, don't you know?" Zhou Youji laughed on the phone.

I opened my mouth and couldn't speak for a long time. I didn't even know when they were together!

"Come over for dinner. She bought a lot of vegetables today, and she was just saying that she would call you over, and you just called." Zhou Youji said.

I jumped up, dropped the phone, grabbed my handbag, and rushed out the door, thinking that she could really do this dead cherry, and even my best friend didn't tell such a big thing.

(End of this chapter)