Secret Love · Orange Raw Huainan

Chapter 29
The coachman was still introducing to them the origins of the names of the various alleys in a somewhat oily tone, which celebrity's mansion used to be, and who bought it now... Luo Zhi listened in a trance, but actually paid more attention It is the creaking sound of the tricycle, and the faint fragrance smelled from the tip of the nose.

Why does he always smell like laundry detergent?Is it because the clothes are not rinsed clean?Maybe he doesn't know it himself.She lowered her head and snickered, such trivial details.

When we reached a steep slope, it was very difficult for the tricycle to climb up.The coachman left his seat, stood up and pedaled hard.Luo Zhi felt that the creaking sound seemed to be rubbing against her heart, and she couldn't bear to look at the driver in her fifties with gray temples, so she said carefully behind him: "Look...how about this Shall we go down first?"

"Yo, girl, after shaming your boyfriend, come shaming me again?"

Sheng Huainan couldn't help laughing, the car finally climbed up the slope with difficulty, and soon went downhill again, the speed of the car became much faster, the wind blew past his ears, and a few strands of hair scratched his cheeks.Luo Zhi felt a little depressed, and said loudly angrily: "I mean well."

"Isn't that right, I know, you have a warm and kind heart and 20 yuan!"

After the coachman finished speaking, he laughed heartily, Luo Zhi shut up honestly, and gave the smiling people around him a glance.

"Guess, what am I thinking?" He still couldn't stop laughing, the light in his eyes made her afraid to look.

"You are thinking, I also have today."

He nodded: "It's a pity that I can't always guess what you are thinking. You have too many things on your mind."

Luo Zhi didn't know how to respond, she looked at the window made of plastic cloth, and slowly suppressed her dark thoughts: "At least you read that right, I do have a lot of things on my mind."

"And I don't like explaining, as if explaining is cheap."

She smiled: "Then I'm really aggrieved."

"No."

Luo Zhi has always believed that although she doesn't like to talk, she is not bad at it.However, at this moment, seeing the only person in her life who kept pondering and missing slowly trying to approach her, she was suddenly at a loss for words, not knowing how to properly lead him over.

"I guess, you should have always wanted to have a confidant with a good heart."

Sheng Huainan continued his psychological exploration with great interest, but Luo Zhi was distracted.What she wants is not a confidant, and what she wants is not just for others to understand.On the road of her growing up, she has blocked other people since she didn't know when, except for her close relatives, there was only a vague Sheng Huainan left.She never thought of letting others understand her, but she never refused others' understanding.I have never expected a confidant, so I am rarely disappointed.

Maybe she has let others down, such as Ding Shuijing, but she doesn't feel guilty.

Apathy is a disguise for resistance.

However, if that "other" was Sheng Huainan, Luo Zhi wondered if she would expect a tacit understanding.

"Talk of mind is just an irresponsible myth that makes us have irresponsible high expectations of others. What if we don't explain it, others misunderstand me, and it will not make me fall into the cause and effect they imagined. We are all ordinary people , Without great wisdom, you will fall into the pain of begging others to understand yourself.”

She spoke slowly, but didn't know what she wanted to say.

"Girl, it's strange for you to say that, but if someone framed you for killing someone and is about to take revenge, can you not explain?"

The coachman interrupted suddenly, Luo Zhi was stunned by his words, thought for a while and didn't know how to refute - in fact, she was too confused just now, she couldn't even remember what she said.

"Girl, don't be angry. I saw you two chatting, and didn't listen to my introduction, so I interrupted. You guys continue talking, don't listen to my nonsense just now. I think your realm is indeed good, but I'm also talking Rough reason is not rough."

Luo Zhi admitted that the coachman spoke very truthfully.

"Perhaps from a larger perspective, even if you are wronged and killed in this life, it doesn't matter. Anyway, he has his karma, and you still continue your karma, six reincarnations, and there is still a long way to go. However, we all She's a stupid mortal, and all she can see is this life. It's better not to see through many things." Sheng Huainan interjected in time to rescue her.

Just when Luo Zhi wondered whether her 20 years of life had been handled too hastily and recklessly in terms of interpersonal relationships, Sheng Huainan suddenly said, "It's really difficult to have a good understanding with you."

After being silent for a while, he said again: "But I still hope that there will never be any misunderstanding between us. It is impossible for ordinary people to have a tacit understanding with you. However, I am not an ordinary person. Leave this difficult task to me."

Sheng Huainan blushed slightly, and after speaking, he turned his head and glanced at the Hutong compound outside the window, but did not see Luo Zhi's eyes filled with tears instantly.

According to Sheng Huainan's request, the coachman parked the car at the entrance of the alley of "Jiumen Snacks".Sheng Huainan paid, then pulled her sleeves and walked inside.Luo Zhi turned her head and walked through the tourists in twos and threes behind to see the coachman who was wiping sweat, but it was a pity that he was still with his back on his back, and from the beginning to the end, she did not carefully look at the coachman's appearance.

For lunch, two people swept up the "Nine Snacks".Belly King, Crispy Fresh Milk, Butter Fried Cake, Donkey Rolling, Tofu Brain... A table was set up, and Sheng Huainan suddenly asked, "Do you want to drink soy milk?"

Luo Zhi shook her head like a rattle: "I heard it's like swill."

He smiled: "Your description is the same as what my dad said."

"Yeah, that's what everyone says."

"Life is incomplete without drinking!" Sheng Huainan still did not give up persuading.

"Why don't you drink?" She asked him back.

"...my life is complete."

"Oh, I can tell from your appearance that a crippled life is more beautiful."

Luo Zhi ate all the crispy fresh milk, and finally felt a little unable to move.

"I'm really wise. I should bring you with me when I eat buffet at night. I've made a lot of money. I successfully interpreted the highest state of eating buffet." He raised his eyebrows and looked at her wickedly.

"Ok?"

"Hold on the wall to get in, and lean on the wall to get out."

Luo Zhi imitated the movements in fighting cartoons, and greeted him with a knife on his back, but he grabbed it with his backhand.Both of them were working hard, and there was no reaction at first—until they all relaxed, she found that the fingertips held by him in the palm of her hand became hot all of a sudden, she quickly pulled her hand out and said, "Let's go."

It took Sheng Huainan a long time to find his voice and said, "Go skating."

Outside the glass of the rest area, many children practiced spinning under the guidance of their teachers.Luo Zhi watched intently, and when she realized it, Sheng Huainan had already put on his skates and was looking at him helplessly.She quickly sat down, put the white pattern knife by her feet, and began to take off her shoes.

Because of being watched by him, Luo Zhi was very nervous, and kept complaining in her heart why she was wearing such troublesome boots.She managed to put her left foot on, and when she tied her shoelace, she accidentally tied it into a knot. When she started to put on her right foot, Sheng Huainan suddenly half-kneeled in front of her.

"You're so stupid, are you sure you didn't go to university through the back door?"

Luo Zhi stopped, but he hadn't chewed through the ambiguity and care overflowing in this sarcasm, he had already lowered his head, took the shoelace from her hand and started threading the shoe holes, the movement was smooth and neat.

When tying her shoelaces, Sheng Huainan's head pressed against Luo Zhi's knee, making her legs a little weak.The smell of shampoo and the smell of washing powder on the scarf are mixed together, like a dream, unchanged for many years.

In a trance, he was already skating hand in hand with him on the cool ice rink, and he didn't even refute when he laughed at his three-legged cat's skating level, but really bowed his head docilely and shyly like a kitten.

When she sat on the sidelines to rest again, she suddenly wanted to know how she would feel if she recalled today after many years.

That mood depends on how much time has passed, and even more on the final result of the two of them.

"What do you think?"

Luo Zhi glanced at him, and said slowly, "Aren't you better than the average person? I'll give you a chance to read minds."

"You've lived for 20 years, and I've only known you for two months. You have to give me some time." He handed over a chocolate-flavored one, and he tore open a strawberry-flavored one and ate it.

"Do you like strawberries?" Luo Zhi wanted to laugh, and suddenly remembered what Luo Yang said, do you girls like the taste of strawberries?

"I don't like it," he swallowed a mouthful of ice cream, "I just remembered after buying it, you like chocolate but not strawberries, so I'll eat this."

Luo Zhi remembered that she accidentally mentioned that she likes chocolate-flavored ice cream during the chat.She narrowed her eyes and smiled, and said to him, "Thank you."

"By the way, you've finished your midterm exams, haven't you?"

"Well, including Fa Dao's midterm paper, everything is over."

"However, the end of the term is coming soon."

"Yes, soon."

"Let's go to self-study together in the future." Sheng Huainan suddenly suggested.

"Okay. Where do you usually study by yourself?"

"Library, what about you?"

Luo Zhi explained earnestly: "The library always needs to occupy seats, and the air circulation is not good. But one advantage is that the desk is very big. I usually go to teach, it's a bit dilapidated, but there are very few people, so there is no need to use it." Looking for a seat."

"No wonder I can always meet all kinds of classmates in the library, but I have never seen you."

"I usually seldom borrow books."

Sheng Huainan asked suspiciously, "Don't you like reading very much?"

"Yeah, but I prefer to buy them back to read. I like new books. The books in the library have been touched by many people. They are dirty and hot to the touch."

Sheng Huainan suddenly laughed wickedly.

"What?" Luo Zhi asked in bewilderment.

"It's a good thing you're not a boy..." He stopped talking and continued to laugh.

Luo Zhi tilted her head and thought for a while, then laughed: "Virgin complex? Come on, the point is not here. I don't even like the new books in the library."

"Then why?"

"Because I have to return it sooner or later. When I think that it will not belong to me one day, I am very flustered. I must buy it in my hand, hold it in my hand and read it, make excerpts while reading it, and keep it like new. Let it stay on my bookshelf obediently. However, the bookshelf has long been unable to fit, and there is a big box under the bed."

"Can I understand that you are too possessive and have too little sense of security?"

Luo Zhi stuck out her tongue: "Do you think psychology is such a simple subject?"

Sheng Huainan stuck out her tongue, and she felt her ears burning again, so she quickly turned her head away.

"However, sometimes you can see very interesting things in the library, such as a man and a woman collide unintentionally in the movie, the books are scattered all over the floor, and then..." He started laughing again, "It's really clichéd, When he was a freshman, every time Zhang Mingrui said he was tired and wanted to leave his seat to go to the bookshelves, he would bump into one casually. He himself said that this was the legendary luck—unfortunately, every time he bumped into four-eyed steel Teeth, academic machines, no sisters in white with fluttering hair."

"He should go to the classical literature area to try his luck. This kind of thing depends on the number of girls in each college?" Luo Zhi's mind suddenly appeared Zhang Mingrui's playful smile, and he couldn't help but also started to laugh. Xi.

"However, although I understand his psychology, I still feel that the real 'unintentional encounter' is more meaningful. In retrospect, it will feel a bit destined by fate."

Sheng Huainan's words made Luo Zhi a little frustrated, yes, why don't I know, she thought silently, without saying a word.

"Back then, when I liked Ye Zhanyan," he said, Luo Zhi couldn't help turning her head to look at him in amazement, Sheng Huainan's original natural words were frightened and she paused, "What's wrong?"

"No, it's just...the topic changed too quickly."

He mentioned Ye Zhanyan in front of her, in such a casual tone, without concealing it.A stone fell from her heart.The speculations caused by Zheng Wenrui's words and text messages in the playground were self-defeating.He can already mention her so calmly, can't he?

"I fell in love with her at the time, so I had a lot of expectations for boring activities like going to the cafeteria to eat, or to say, I was looking forward to all the activities outside the classroom. If I met her like this, I would be very happy, but I definitely would not deliberately Run out and wander around. Many people deliberately walk in the corridors between classes, just to increase the chance of meeting someone in their hearts. However, if you try to limit your actions and keep your life in a normal state, you will have an extra expectation , that would feel very different, I don't know if you can understand..."

"It seems that fate came here by yourself, rather than you deliberately looking for it."

"You are much more concise than me," Sheng Huainan made a twitching expression, "Long live liberal arts students."

Luo Zhi ignored it: "Could it be that there is no difference at all? There is no special operation at all?"

She didn't know what answer to expect.

"But there will still be a little change, maybe you will laugh when you say it."

"I promise not to laugh."

"At that time, I knew that she liked to chat and take a walk with her good friends on the playground after dinner, and occasionally sat by the flag-raising platform for a while, so before every meal, I would run to occupy the space and stand on the flag-raising platform Under the basketball hoop next to her, some buddies soon noticed the clues. Later, they were very interesting to help me occupy the space. Sometimes I occasionally saw her in the corridor and passed by, and I would suddenly meet her next door. I was joking with my buddies, laughing loudly and cheerfully on purpose, and my friends thought I had epilepsy intermittently during that time."

You will also have such a performance?Luo Zhi laughed out loud: "However, don't you feel very awkward? For example, afraid of embarrassing yourself? I know that boys sometimes play wild together, swearing or something, so will it be because of her presence? , expressions and movements have become unnatural?"

"Ah, yes. However, even if it's awkward, the more you want to score when you shoot, the more unstable you will be. Not only do you not show off, but you often make embarrassments. But, think about it, that kind of feeling is not bad."

Sheng Huainan smiled brightly, Luo Zhi looked down at her toes.

He was so dazzling, it would be cuter if he made an embarrassment.Go after it openly, show it openly, whether it is brilliant or embarrassing, recalling it is so clear and proud.

very nice.Their love is so magnanimous.Love is supposed to be so straightforward.

Sheng Huainan interrupted her thoughts: "Speaking of which, I don't think I really met you in high school."

"Really?" You've seen it, you just haven't noticed it.Luo Zhi felt that there was no point in discussing it.

"You must be a classroom person, you don't always go out. There are a few boys and girls in the class opposite us who are very conspicuous. They walk in the corridor every day. Once, when they went to the toilet for several days, they didn't meet them on the road. Personally, I wonder if they dropped out of school en masse."

They are conspicuous, so if you don't see them for a few days, you will think they are missing.Even if I squat at the gate of your class every day, it seems that I have never appeared.Luo Zhi smiled and said, "It's more comfortable to stay in the classroom. After class, you can continue to read novels and comics. Of course, I also read them in class."

"It's good to read a lot," he nodded. "You can learn from other people's lessons."

"Actually, reading books has no guiding significance most of the time. Instead, it makes me know that there is no shortage of people who live in aggrieved lives in the world."

He looked at her seriously: "do you feel aggrieved?"

"Didn't you say that I have a lot of things on my mind? Forget who on the tricycle said I'm miserable?"

"Don't you have any good friends?"

Luo Zhi tilted her head and thought about it. In fact, she didn't need to think about it at all, but she didn't want her to appear perverted when she said "no" categorically: "Well... no. I mean, there is no such thing as a trustworthy friend .”

"So you just read a book?"

Luo Zhi didn't know how to explain it, she was afraid that Sheng Huainan would think her cold and weird—but then she thought about it, why did she hide it?She does.

"Then what if you feel confused, have something you can't figure out, and don't communicate with your friends? Will there be an answer in the book?" he asked.

"Probably not, but at least let you know that there are many people who have the same troubles as you and are also looking for answers from ancient times to the present. You are not alone. Moreover, the experience of the predecessors does have a lot to learn from."

He laughed again, only then did Luo Zhi realize that there were tiny dimples on his face.

"Really? For example, I once swore to each other and loved each other so hard, why did it become so boring later? Is there an answer in the book?"

She could smell a bit of joking sadness from his words.She guessed why.

"Camus said," she answered him slowly, "love can burn or exist, but not both."

Sheng Huainan was silent for a while after listening, and said: "Well, my father is right, reading more books is good. It is much more profound and simpler than what those mother-in-law and mother-in-law say."

Luo Zhi stared at her shoes, and said slowly: "It's true that we are forced to have a little wisdom in life by the trivial matters of daily life. It's just that we try our best to explain and describe things that predecessors have long It speaks clearly, and it is a thousand times better, and there is no room for self-expression. All things are not unprecedented."

Sheng Huainan was silent for a long time, stretched his waist, and leaned back on the chair back again: "This is how you feel the existence of your ancestors, and then you are not alone?"

The words were a bit teasing, but Luo Zhi was not angry.

Books, apart from depressing her own vulgarity, had once given her much pleasure.In her lonely and humble youth, when she gradually developed envy for those glamorous youth, another sense of superiority rose at the same time, like an old man looking down on a child who doesn't know how to feel sad.And these senses of superiority all come from those books.

Naturally, it also comes from her poverty and vicissitudes.

She didn't refute, stood up, threw the ice cream wrapper into a nearby trash can, and said, "I'm going to go skate."

(End of this chapter)