Long time no see, Mr. Qin

Chapter 55 How can you sleep so peacefully (2)

"Su Nianjin, how could I provoke a woman like you? I used to have no heart, I admit it, but you are not, you have a heart, but your heart is harder than anyone else, harder than anyone else. I have always refused Believe it, don't want to believe it, but in the end, I have to believe it."

When he said this, he suddenly seemed like a little beast, and with an indescribable pain, he was close to my side.He put his hand into my hair and began to comb it bit by bit. With the other hand, he dragged me flat on the bed.He lowered his head, buried his face in my chest, and pressed against it tightly, but he didn't kiss or bite. He just pressed against it calmly, as if he was listening to the heartbeat there.

"When I was at my lowest point, I saw a ray of sunshine, and it said: 'Qin Ziyang, you can't do this, you shouldn't just fall down like this, get up, let's help each other.' But that ray of sunshine was not sunshine, it brought It is the most poisonous poison in the whole world. It first makes me feel the warmth of the sun, making me unable to live without it, and then suddenly puts away all the light. There is no sun everywhere, and it even becomes pitch black... Su Nianjin , do you think you are that ray of sunshine?"

Between the words, his lips would stick to my chest through the clothes, and the hot air sprayed on it from time to time.It's so numb, itchy, very itchy, but it's not the place, but the heart.There was an itchy, dull pain in my heart, an indescribable feeling that was even more itchy than when I took off my clothes and his wet, steamy kiss fell directly on it.

"You're wrong, Qin Ziyang, that ray of sunshine is not me..." I followed his example, raised his face with my fingers, looked into his eyes, "It's you."

He was silent, and suddenly pulled me closer, wanting to kiss, but in the end it turned into hugging, hugging fiercely, as if trying to strangle my bones.

He has been hugging it fiercely like this, and then suddenly let go, and at some point there is an extra ring in his hand.

I am very familiar with that ring, its style is very unique, it is surrounded by broken diamonds, and my name is engraved in the middle.

He stretched out his hand, looked at me, his eyebrows were tightly wrinkled for some reason, then he took my left hand and rubbed it repeatedly on the thumb.But what is completely different from before is that the strength and speed when wearing it are so direct and rough.

Under the pressure of his hands, the ring on his finger pressed the phalanx faintly, but in the end, he felt that it was clearly the heat from his hand that was pressing.

"What are you doing?" I looked at him.

"I'm just giving you what should be yours, that's all." He said in a rough voice.

"That's it?" I suddenly smiled foolishly, then looked at the ring carefully, and at the same time couldn't help touching and touching the ring that was neither thick nor thin.

"It feels good, but it's a pity that after all, I missed the season and also missed the place." I wanted to take it off, but he held it down.

He looked at me, his eyes fixed on me.

Those eyes seemed to fix me, or rather, the movement of my hands.

I found that I couldn't look directly at it, so I lowered my head, stopped the movement of my hands, but finally took it off and handed it back to him, "If you gave me this ring earlier, maybe I would never turn back." I accept it, but now, I don't have the courage, it can also be said that I don't love you as much as before."

He swayed and backed away a little.

"Not so in love anymore?" he asked.

"Hmm." I nodded.

There was a look of distress in his eyes, but it was fleeting, but the hand that was holding the ring just now clenched tightly into a fist, wrapping the ring in it.

"That's good, I thought you didn't love me anymore." He raised his head again, and he was that Qin Ziyang again, with a self-mockery that he didn't even realize was in the corner of his pursed mouth.

He turned around, walked out, and stopped when he came to the door.

"Don't think you can get away with this, Su Nianjin, don't even think about it."

boom--

The door is closed.

That's fine too, um, fine.

I closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep, but no, I couldn't sleep, so I started counting sheep, one sheep, two sheep, three sheep...

I don't know how many times I counted, and finally I fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning, Qin Ziyang's face appeared in front of me.He pursed his lips silently, the thin lips were very sexy.

"Put on your clothes and I'll take you somewhere."

"Where?"

He said nothing, but insisted.

"No—" I said quietly, but firmly.

He didn't seem to listen to me at all, he still grabbed my hand desperately, he didn't let go until I cried out in pain, but he just paused, then picked me up horizontally, and carried me to the car.

Just as he was helping me fasten my seat belt, I just tore it off.

"Qin Ziyang, stop. If I say no, I won't go. Can you stop being so domineering and do whatever you want! Once you see me, you ignore my objections and begs, and lure me to the bait like a cat catching a mouse." , When I got tired of it, I suddenly said I was bored, and now when I finally let go of my own life, you chased after me. What do you think of me? Do you know that you will only make me more and more Hate you?" I suddenly shouted.

He froze for a moment, his hands resting on the seat belt froze, and his eyelids drooped slightly, making it difficult for me to see his eyes and the emotions contained in them clearly.

Immediately he let go of me, leaned himself heavily on the back of the chair, put the back of his hand on his forehead, and said in a rough voice: "Get out of the car."

His such a big contrast made me dazzled, especially his silence at the moment, as quiet as a dead sea, I have rarely seen Qin Ziyang like this.

"Su Nianjin, get out of the car—" He emphasized his tone, then opened the car door with his own hands and let me get out.

As soon as my feet landed, the car rushed out like an arrow.

Later, Mama Zhang came out, "Mr. just called and asked me to help you into the house."

I followed her into the house, but my mind was full of that deep look that Qin Ziyang looked at me from the rear car mirror just now.

At night, I took a sleeping pill and barely fell asleep.It is undeniable that there have been too many things recently, and all the things seem to come rushing to my head, which often makes it difficult for me to fall asleep, and sometimes I have to rely on two sleeping pills to help.

"Su Nianjin, you are just playing tricks to me..."

It's just a joke...

……

I woke up suddenly from the dream, and I felt that sentence in my ears, the voice came from nowhere, it seemed to be in all directions, no matter where I stood or what I was doing, the voice was pervasive to me hit.

I sat on the bed blankly, holding my head in my hands, feeling as if I had collapsed, and my whole body had lost all strength.The sound of thunder outside and the sound of rain falling staggered, making this midnight a little more peaceful.

After sitting there for some time, I turned on the desk lamp and glanced at the watch next to me. At three o'clock in the morning, the hands of the watch ticked.I put on a coat and walked to the window. It was dark outside, only the reflected moonlight shone on the road, like a mirror, but it was not clear enough, and all I saw were afterimages.Just as I was about to close the curtains, I saw the face reflected on the glass, not very old, but not very young either, without the freshness like narcissus, and the pungentness like rose, it seemed to be just a silent blooming It is neither a good nor a bad flower.I reached out to touch the face on the glass, but I didn't touch anything except the coldness of my fingertips.

Seeming to be frozen, I withdrew my hand, walked back to the bed, and pulled the quilt away, but I never felt sleepy again.

At this time, a sound of brakes came to his ears, it was Qin Ziyang who had returned.Although it's just a brake sound, after listening to it for so long, I can recognize it even if it's just a light cough.

After a few minutes, the door was opened, and Mama Zhang's voice sounded.There was rarely a trace of concern in that usually toneless, rigid voice that was almost harsh, and only when facing Qin Ziyang, did this old servant seem to show a trace of unusual emotion.At least during the time I lived here, I never felt that she was like a human being, only that she was cold, and other than that, she was still cold.

I quickly lay down, closed my eyes, and pretended to be asleep.In less than a minute, Qin Ziyang opened the door and walked in.He drank alcohol, and it was not 1:01. As he approached, the strong smell of alcohol overwhelmed me.

"Get up—" He suddenly picked me up from the bed, regardless of whether I was sleeping or not.

"How can you sleep so peacefully..." His voice was a little cold, and his hand was a little bit harder, which made my hand very painful.

"Let go! Are you crazy, Qin Ziyang, my hand..."

"Crazy, huh, yeah, I think I'm crazy too." His eyes were bloodshot, bloodshot all over them, and the overwhelming smell of alcohol could make people intoxicated just by talking.

I started to struggle, and there were already a few red marks on my fair arms.

But it seemed that the more I struggled, the tighter he tightened his grip on my wrist with his hard fingers.I'm starting to really think he's crazy, not just a curse word.So I grabbed him with all my strength, sweating on the palms and backs of my hands, I don't know if it was his or mine, maybe it was two people's.

Then I simply gave up struggling.Why did I forget, all men are like this, the more you struggle, the harder they work, and when you stop barking and give up, maybe they will feel bored, just like Qin Ziyang in the past.

"Why don't you struggle? Why do you just give up? This is not your character. Su Nianjin, tell me, which one is the real you?"

"Which is the real me has nothing to do with you." I looked at him with a sneer.

He started laughing, low at first, then louder.He let go of my hand, threw me on the bed, but lifted my chin with his index finger, forcing me to look at him, "This is the real you. The cold, ruthless one, the one who would rather take yourself The woman whose child’s life hurts me even if I’m joking is the real you, and the woman who came to me and told me that we were in love with each other and helped me stand up time and time again doesn’t exist at all...it doesn’t exist at all..." Speaking of In the end, he was like raving, as if every word he said was tearing out his heart.

"I asked you once, I said if I had a child, how did you answer me? You said take it away without hesitation. So, I just used something that would never exist to make you It's just pain, how can it be called life if it doesn't exist..."

That child was not wanted by his father and mother at all. He didn't even have the chance to come to this world. How could it be called life?His life was snuffed out by us...

I suddenly shook off his hand on my chin violently.

"Don't touch me! You are right. If this is the case, why do you still come to me? Or are you going to take revenge on me? But Qin Ziyang, don't forget, I said that day, even so, you owe me, You owe me from the beginning to the end, and everyone has the right to criticize me, but you don't."

"Yes, I don't, but ask your own heart, do you love me? In fact, you love me, you have always loved me, whether it was before or now, you will love me?"

He put his hands on my shoulders and began to shake my shoulder blades vigorously. I felt as if they were about to be crushed by him, and my brain was muddled and lacked oxygen.

I bit my lip tightly, but refused to say a word, just stared at him fiercely with my eyes.

Finally, his hands dropped limply, and his body slid to the floor, wiping his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry..." After a long time, he said.

"Today is my mother's death day. I just came back from the cemetery, and I'm not in a good mood, so..." He said intermittently, his voice was very soft, without the roughness just now, but with a touch of gloom.

"She left when I was very young. I didn't have a good relationship with her when she was here, and I resented her a little bit. At that time, people in the yard said that my mother was unruly and had affairs with several people. It's just that due to the influence of the Qin family, the rumors gradually subsided. Although she was the same as her father when she went outside, she was glamorous, but when she returned home, no one spoke to anyone, and her father always smoked desperately, frowning. Locked tightly, then I started to hate her. But she was very good to me, gave me the best things, and always treated me carefully, so when she died, I couldn't accept it at all, it was too sudden , and suddenly the night before I was still yelling at her never to appear in front of me again."

He spoke in a low voice, the voice was very soft and deep, but it made me feel like weeping, but it was obviously such a deep and cold narrative.

It turned out that he was taking me to see his mother.I didn't know what to do. I looked at the man on the ground who was sitting slumped with his head tilted. His side face was still so beautiful, and he was still full of style, but his eyes were red, and his hands were slumped. hanging aside.

This Qin Ziyang is like a child, silently seeking my comfort.

Maybe I went up to give him a hug at this time, a simple hug can make him feel better, but I didn't, my hands and feet seemed to be fixed, even though my heart was turbulent, but my limbs were always Stiff.

A long time passed, and the rain outside gradually stopped. He raised his head and looked at the sky. He didn't know whether he was looking at the clouds or something else, but he just looked up like that.

I suddenly remembered a sentence that said that if you want to cry, raise your head slightly, exactly 45 degrees, so that the tears in your eyes will not flow down.Therefore, 45 degrees is a lonely angle, and the face at 45 degrees is also a lonely and dull face.However, if those tears have not flowed out, will people really not be in pain?
He stretched out his hand towards me, but I dodged it.In fact, it wasn't intentional. I didn't mean to avoid the hands that were reaching out to me. I was just afraid.This kind of fear is not fear, but trembling from the bottom of my heart.

I raised my head, facing the fragility he showed at that moment, watching the mouth slowly tightened, the hand retracted unnaturally in the air, turned a corner, clenched into a fist, and hung down by the side.

He lowered his head, turned around, and didn't say anything after all, but walked out with a little unsteady gait.The moment the door closed, I collapsed on the bed, grabbed the corner of the quilt fiercely, and choked up.

I didn't sleep all night, and I just lay there. At first, there was warm liquid slowly flowing from the corners of my eyes, and gradually even this disappeared.It wasn't until the sunlight outside the window came in through the clouds that I walked to the bathroom, turned on the tap, washed a few handfuls with the cold liquid, and then dried my face.

Not long after, Mama Zhang came in and asked me to go out for dinner.

I agreed and walked out slowly.Most of the injury on the leg has healed, but because I went to the hospital that day and pulled the wound, it still hurts from time to time, but it is no longer a problem.

When I walked over, Qin Ziyang had finished washing and was sitting there wearing a prada shirt with his sleeves slightly rolled up and holding a fork in his hand. It's just my own fantasy if it comes out.

When he saw me, he didn't do any other movements, as if facing the air, the movements of his hands were still graceful.

I took my seat, looked at the rich meals in front of me, and suddenly said, "My injury has healed."

He didn't say anything, and continued to move the fork.

"I don't think I need to stay here any longer. It's not necessary." Seeing that he didn't respond, I couldn't help but speak a little more heavily, and finally put down the fork.

Snapped.

When the forks collided with each other, there was a crisp sound, which was particularly harsh in such a silent hall.

He finally stopped the movement of his hands and raised his head to look at me.After a long time, he said, "Su Nianjin, is that why you want to leave here?"

"Yes, I can't wait to grow a pair of wings and fly out immediately."

With a bang, something fell to the ground, and Qin Ziyang's hands were covered with the meat from the sandwich and the salad on it.

"Mother Zhang—" he raised his voice.

"Master." Zhang Ma came in with her waist bent, and she didn't look surprised when she saw the table full of messes.

(End of this chapter)