Small Times 3.0 Golden Age
Chapter 11 CHAPTER 10
Chapter 11 CHAPTER 10
I once said that Nanxiang is like a Pandora's box.
No one will open her easily.But once the lid of the box is opened, no one can predict what kind of monsters will come out of it, such as mud horses or salamanders, Spiderman or bone spirits. There is no lower limit and no upper limit.
The fact that Gong Ming and Nan Xiang had dinner in the Sinan mansion was like dropping a decisive nuclear bomb in my mind, just like the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan, and Japan waved it a few days later. The white flag surrendered.At this moment, my remaining rationality is barely wailing, like the last battle flag fluttering on a battlefield full of corpses.
However, I underestimated the lethality of Nanxiang.
After she completed the navigation work of this missile, she drove another armored vehicle, which leisurely crushed the bloody battlefield with thousands of ravines into flat ground. It became a pile of flat sand.
She stood up and nodded towards the door. I followed her gaze and saw that Gu Zhun, who was dressed in a dark wool suit, walked in while talking on the phone.When he walked to his seat, he hung up the phone politely, then extended his hand to shake Gong Ming.
——What combination is this?
This is a yangko dance group composed of Jolin Tsai, Baby Annie and Yuan Longping.
I turned around to look at the people around me, Gu Li, Tang Wanru, Chong Guang, Wei Hai, everyone had different eyes.Although they have ghosts in each other's minds, they are all silent in a very tacit understanding.
I just feel bad for the veal steak that night.
This restaurant is famous for its steaks—notoriously good, notoriously refined, and notoriously expensive.If you knew the price, you'd think that little boxy, dark thing served on a plate was actually an iPhone 4s.However, like an anorexic, I have no interest in the exquisite ingredients that everyone flocks to in front of me.I can't even tell whether it's beef or asparagus that I'm cutting under my knife and fork, let alone close my eyes and rest my mind like other gourmets, closing all my sight and hearing, leaving only the taste of my tongue and the smell of my nose, to come Feel the food in front of you in all directions.
My eyes are firmly fixed on the three well-dressed, well-behaved, and abnormally good-looking humans ten meters in front of the left, just like an ugly frog lying in the grass, staring at the three dancing on the grass blades. like a butterfly.
Both Gu Zhun and Gong Ming can be drawn together under the word "pale", but the difference is that Gu Zhun is like a young god of death who came to the world to have fun. He is covered in dark material from head to toe, with jet-black hair and dark pupils , Eyes with thick eyelashes are pitch black, and a suit seems to drag him into the night of another world.Under the darkness, his young and plump fair skin is set off like the lightest layer of fresh white snow on the top of the mountains. There is a chilling elegance in the mysterious smile at the corner of his mouth. He is like a man dressed in black sheep. A grim reaper with a woolen suit and a scythe hidden.But Gong Ming's pale and thin face reveals a kind of frail beauty.His hair is soft, his eyebrows and eyes are too deep and charming, so they are less lethal, and when the corners of his eyes occasionally smile, they will reveal the small wrinkles that are unique to mature men. The light and shadow of the years that porcelain bodies cannot have, his lips always have a subtle and attractive opening and closing like a purple gold flower, and his hair has an elegant oak color under the light, like a glass of rich wine. Satin coffee.He is like an archangel wrapped in gray soft cashmere, with his wings folded, and his brows are always covered with sadness.
And what about Nanxiang?She can be anyone.
She can be the goddess of nemesis wrapped in a black robe, with the dark oasis in her eyes to breed the fanatical revenge in the heart of all things; she can also be Gaia, the goddess of the earth, who can be born after the goddess of the night, creating the earth and the sky And the ocean, she is one of the creators of the world.
She can be Pandora, she can also be Athena.She has a variety of styles and unlimited masks.
I think if I put a little thought into it, I should be able to understand Gu Li.But I have exhausted my whole life's strength, but I can't handle Nanxiang.
I don't know what kind of mood the few people around me are eating.The famous dinners of all ages in the world, from the last supper, to Hongmen Banquet, from Tiffany’s breakfast, to the Buddha-painted banquet, and even the mentally ill Shi Chong banquet, I think we should add a Sinan mansion in the future dinner party.
When Gong Ming raised his head, he finally saw us.The dim light made him a little uncertain, especially the person facing him was Tang Wanru. I think he must have felt that he was hallucinating in the first few seconds.But Sogo raised his hand and made a slight gesture at him.Chong Guang stood up, he might need to go over to say hello, he lowered his head and asked Gu Li beside me with his eyes, Gu Li nodded, then turned his head to signal me.
Under Gu Li's gesture, I pulled out the chair and stood up.
With a short distance of ten meters, I constantly adjusted my mentality.In this world, there will always be some roads that are absolutely difficult for you to walk on. A few meters of space is enough to kill you.For example, walking up to the last step of the gallows, such as the seven stone steps before the throne when he was crowned and coronated, such as the bloody red carpet in the wedding hall.
Gong Ming and Gu Zhun politely opened their chairs and stood up when we walked over. Nan Xiang's back was facing us. Putting down the knife and fork without hesitation, she picked up the napkin from her lap and placed it gently on the table, then she stood up politely and turned to face us.When she saw Gu Li and me, she wasn't surprised.I looked at her elegant and glamorous, and jealousy grew in my heart.I went through so many "Western Food Etiquette" and "Encyclopedia of Social Etiquette", and I was dizzy by the various terms and clauses in it. I saw what size plate I needed to pick up the fork; You may also encounter the dilemma of not being able to tell the difference between a meat knife and a fish knife; when you see sparkling mineral water, which appetizer should you eat first; fold the napkin in half and put it on your lap ; Chatting with people in the clockwise position and chatting with people in the counterclockwise position, how to exchange or place the knife and fork in your hand...
But all of these, as if they were innate instincts, were perfectly interpreted by Nan Xiang.
I do not believe.
I don't want to believe it.
I don’t want to believe that this little girl who grew up with me, who eats with chopsticks or hands while holding a plate in a kitchen of a few square meters surrounded by soot in the alley, looks like a shining princess of Monaco at the moment.I can't even see the brand of the dress on her, the matte satin texture can't be chosen by her from ZARA or H&M, but I don't believe her authority has reached the same level as Kitty or Gu Li, Feel free to steal from the company's photo samples.
Although my heart did not burn with a faint blue flame, it has already swelled to a red heat like boiling iron.
I can't greet everyone casually like Gu Li and Chong Guang.Sogo has changed into the standard face that represents Lu Shao. He speaks English most of the time and Mandarin a little of the time.Gu Li is the same, it is the face of the standard Windows startup interface that has not changed for thousands of years.
I couldn't keep up with their conversations. In the final analysis, my morals were not enough.All I could do was keep a smile on my face and try not to burn myself up like an incinerator on the spot.Believe me, just maintaining a calm smile is already the limit of my practice.
When Gong Ming heard that today was the celebration of Tang Wanru's moving, he turned his head and told Nanxiang to ask for another bottle of wine to be delivered to our table—this was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
This scene was like a chisel for breaking ice, and instantly cut a big hole in the ice shell that I barely maintained at the critical point. I couldn't hold back, and blurted out: "Mr. Gong, Kitty is not here today, so let me come. After all, I am sorry for you. I know better, Nan Xiang doesn’t know anything.”
I don't know why I say such a thing.I subconsciously wanted to grab something and occupy something.It's like a cat whose back hair is instantly erected when another animal suddenly breaks into its territory.I tug the hem of my dress lightly to make it look less wrinkled on my body.I hated myself for walking out in a navy blue sweater that made me look like a delivery guy in the wind and rain.
"No, let Nan Xiang go, today is her reserved seat." Gong Ming said nonchalantly, he didn't even turn his head from the conversation with Gu Li Chongguang, he didn't even look at me.
Nan Xiang's face was a little embarrassed, and her eyes were conveying something to me, but my heart was already burned into charcoal, and there was nothing in my mind at the moment except for the hysterical impulse to prove something.
Unwilling to attack again, to be precise, I should humiliate myself again.I said: "Nanxiang, it may be your first time to come to Sinan Mansion. I have already checked a lot of information here for Mr. Gong. I also know a lot about the food and drinks in this restaurant. Let me come. After all, it's too difficult for you to control this kind of place. Besides, I'm Mr. Gong's assistant, so I should do these trivial things."
Nan Xiang looked at me with sympathy and pity.
Gong Ming turned his head from their conversation, the light in his eyes was lukewarm, like a glass of water without emotions, bubbles or even mineral smell.He said: "Actually, I know this place, and it was recommended to me by Nanxiang. The first time I came here, she brought me here. Lin Xiao, aren't you on weekends today? Just let Nanxiang come, Don't interfere."
Nan Xiang didn't look at me, but turned around and walked towards the bar.Her back is a little awkward, but more, it should be because she doesn't want to face my embarrassing situation at this moment.Her curvaceous back and her smooth and noble bun are like a pair of contrived hands, stroking and comforting me, while saying to me: "You idiot."
I turned around: "I'm going to the bathroom first."
I tried to keep my feet steady, and I tried not to cry.
I only have this last bit of dignity left, like a broken flag fluttering in the smoky sky, it represents the glory of the past and the shame of the present.
Later, when I changed my job, changed the city I lived in, changed all the living habits I used to take for granted, and even changed my heart and life, I would re-examine myself from time to time.
I am actually a low self-esteem and jealous woman.
The combination of me and Gu Li, Nan Xiang, and Tang Wanru, on the surface, I am in a position where I am not high enough to be low enough. I am far inferior to Gu Li in terms of economic conditions, family background and status; , was even thrown out of a thousand and one streets by Nanxiang.But I also have Tang Wanru at the bottom, who can make me feel complacent living in this airtight and stable world.But later, I kept replaying our past in my mind, and I gradually realized that in my heart, I never felt that the three of them were better than me.
First of all, Gu Li, my dependence on Gu Li is actually a kind of reaction force, which is a kind of projection based on Gu Li's dependence on me. In fact, all of them are her mirror image projected on me.Regarding Gu Li, my sense of superiority comes from knowing from the bottom of my heart that no matter how golden and invulnerable she looks, she can cultivate a golden body by meditating on the spot, but snakes have seven inches and dragons have reverse scales, so her door is her loneliness.She is a total failure at meeting the most basic needs of humans as a social animal.She has no friends, no one cares about her, and her only boyfriend is a computer just like her.And I was the only friend in her life.Although she also got mixed up with Nanxiang Tang Wanru, I knew in my heart that it was only because I got mixed up with Nanxiang Tang Wanru.All my dependence on her is to make her more dependent on me. There is an insidious monster living in my subconscious. Her person, together with her soul, was swallowed into her stomach and taken as her own.That's why, every time I think she's hiding something from me, deceiving me, I get hysterical.Because I selfishly think that Gu Li should not have reservations about me. If there is anyone in the world who can share with her, then this person can only be me.However, by the time I figured it all out, it was too late.
So what about Tang Wanru, let alone.For her, my sense of superiority can come from all aspects, every inch of my body, hair and skin, every pore exudes condescension and domineering towards Tang Wanru.I think I am saving her. I subconsciously think that without me, she would not be able to become friends with Nanxiang Gu Li. Without me, she can only be like a runaway wild horse in the badminton hall day after day Swinging the racket like foaming at the mouth until old age fades and desolately retires.How could she go to Sheshan Villa to celebrate her birthday with Gong Ming Chongguang at Christmas?How could she be lucky enough to let Sogo help her move and wash the dishes?
The last is Nanxiang.Her skin is indeed as fine as snow, as fine as creamy fat, and she is incomparably charming. I can't compare to her. Standing with her is like a gourd baby standing beside Fan Bingbing.But I firmly believe that beauty is unlucky and ugly women are blessed.Nan Xiang is a beauty, but her fate is unlucky; I am indeed an ugly girl, but I am blessed.This has always been the way I get along with Nanxiang, and it is also a bottom line in my subconscious.In the first twenty or so years of her life, she was indeed too unlucky and tragic. She was entangled by that broom star in Xicheng.Her family was poor and her talents were underappreciated.Her life is capitalized "tragedy".I envy her beauty, but I sympathize with her experience. My inner balance maintains a delicate balance of good and evil.However, when one day she could sit gracefully with Gong Ming and eat premium steaks, and when she could pass me directly into a level that she had never been able to touch for more than [-] years, the balance in my heart suddenly tipped over. It smashed a huge hole in the inner wall of my heart, and the cobweb cracks all over the wall were about to tear me apart.I faintly feel that she is becoming more and more aware that her beauty will be an invincible weapon in this gray and bloody society. She is awakening into a goddess of killing with a giant sword in her hand.
My low self-esteem makes me unable to tolerate all this.
I'm afraid of being the most mediocre of them all, I'm afraid of being someone they don't need anymore.
My inferiority complex breeds jealousy, and my jealousy heats up to flames.
It ultimately incinerates everything we once had into scalding black ashes.
I'm the one who should die the most.
After finishing the main course, Gong Ming left early without waiting for the dessert to be served.I am not surprised by this, most of the time when he has dinner appointments with people ends early.There are only a handful of occasions where he can accompany the other party until the end of the entire meal.On several occasions, he even left in a hurry after finishing his appetizers and a few sips of aperitif.He even sat down once, took two sips of mineral water, and then left, leaving Kitty and I staring at each other's seven guests at the table.
I have always believed that there is a stopwatch in his body that keeps ticking and urging him to do things, and there is an automatic word prompter in his mind that keeps running down the subtitles.There are two stopwatches running precisely outside of his body: me and Kitty.
But now I'm a little skeptical about having a third stopwatch.
After Gong Ming left, Chong Guang and Gu Li obviously relaxed.They chatted casually with Tang Wanru and Wei Hai, but I didn't listen to a word.My eyes are still pressed on Nan Xiang's slender figure like a flat-screen LCD TV like two thumbtacks.
Nan Xiang's profile looks like a carefully carved porcelain, and my straight and stiff back combined with my motionless head makes me look like a hammer.I really want to chip something up.
Nan Xiang and Gu Zhun maintained an unhurried chat speed, which made her look very elegant, and would not be too fast to make people think she was frivolous, nor would it be cold to make people think she was boring.What the hell is she doing when we are tired like dogs every day?She totally looked like she had gone to a special agent training.
She ignored me completely.Her neglect of me ignited my anger even more. I stared at her intently, trying to catch the moment when she turned her head to look at me at any time, and then I would burn the fire in my eyes.However, how clever she is, she didn't give me such a chance at all, she didn't even turn her head to look at me-or she didn't care.My glaring became more and more ridiculous and pathetic in the persistence of not getting a response every second.As if hysterically punching and punching, but swinging into the empty darkness, bursts of empty space and loss hit me back, I felt like a dried shell opened to dry, washed by the tides one after another, I was ridiculous on this sad sandy beach.
I threw the knife and fork in my hand onto the plate.
Unsurprisingly, the huge crisp sound caught everyone's attention. Several foreigners at the next table frowned and looked at me. Gu Li pushed his chair away without saying a word and got up to pay the bill. Sogo's voice was obviously controlled. Anger, he wrapped it with love and tenderness to make it less hurtful, he gently leaned towards me and asked me in a low voice: "What do you want?"
I don't want to do it, I just want that fine china in front of me to turn her head and look at me so that I can go mad at her and wrestle and then hug her head like we've been doing for the past ten years cry bitterly.
But she didn't.
Nan Xiang never looked at me from the beginning to the end.
On the other hand, Gu Zhun raised his head slightly to look at me from the conversation with Nan Xiang, and that casual glance was full of pity and sympathy.
Sogo pulled me out of the restaurant.
Tang Wanru and Wei Hai also left the meeting in embarrassment.When she left, she took the bottle of red wine, which she had only drank a third of, because she saw the price of the bottle on the menu, "Would you put 2000 yuan on the table and walk away?"
Later, after we drank up the 2000 yuan, we continued to drink wine from Gu Li's wine cabinet.
It was already very dark outside the window, and now it started to rain lightly again.The old brass street lamps have already been lit up, exuding an old halo, and the orange lights are hidden behind the canopy, like furry eyes peeking at us one by one.After drinking a few bottles of red wine, my eyes seemed to be covered with a frosted glass filter. Those furry street lamps stared at me sadly in the cold rain. I felt the scenery outside the window in the wind and rain. It looks very familiar, but I can't remember where I saw it.
Two hours ago, we moved back to Gu Li's house from Sinan Mansion.I knew I had lost the moment I dropped the knife and fork back on the plate with a bang.I became a clown who just fell off a wheelbarrow and got fired: funny, humiliating, tragic.So, getting myself drunk was the only thing left for me to do, because under the influence of alcohol, everyone would become funny, humiliating, and tragic.
I am no longer alone.
When drinking the second bottle, Neil suddenly came over.He was wearing a black suit, and his tie had been loosened by him and hung on the neckline. The neckline was open, revealing a reddish fair skin on his chest, and his whole body turned red when he drank.His charming eyes stared at us as if glued, and he was still holding a half-drunk bottle of red wine.He fell on the sofa and put his head on Gu Li's lap: "Sister! I'm drunk!"
I rushed over here and there, with a lewd laugh of "hehehehehehe", I must look like a Huadiao chicken that has been soaked in a wine jar for three days and three nights, and I obviously heard Chongguang behind me A gleeful laugh.Whenever I get drunk, he is very happy, like a third-grade kid watching "Blue Mouse and Big-Faced Cat".
"Who poured you down?" My knee hit the sharp corner of the coffee table, and I grinned and squeezed to Gu Li's side to rub my legs, "Are you going to a wedding or a funeral dressed like this?"
"I was just upstairs at No. 27 Roosevelt on the Bund. Gong Ming was drinking with a group of advertisers. I was dragged to play the role of a flower vase. I was in charge of three people. I will be old enough to be my grandma next year, but I still insist on wearing an evening dress. The ladies with most of their breasts outside were drinking and chatting. I regretted that I stood too close to them, and the lights were on. I saw the wrinkles on their faces. Hey, they have three layers inside and three layers outside. Wear The woman in the red dress wore a feather hat, which looked like an owl was tired from flying and fell from the sky and hit her head. The other woman seemed to wear a circle around her neck, It was hard for me to look at her. She couldn't lift her head under the weight of that hoop-like necklace all night, and she was talking to my belly button the whole time. The last woman was even more frightening, her pair of high heels were so high Ah, I was worried about her when I stood beside her, and I was ready to help her at any time, to be honest, with the height of her feet, if she fell, it would be no different from committing suicide by jumping from the second floor."
The little bastard in front of me who has just returned to Shanghai, who can’t even speak Mandarin well, and who speaks English to us twice in three days, is talking like a thousand lightning firecrackers in his mouth.
"Speaking of which, Lin Xiao, what's wrong with you? You look really bad, like a piece of crumpled 80-gram Alena Kamonken paper." He spoke more and more like a person from "ME", Full of jargon, thinking that others can understand it.
"Your department also uses this kind of paper to sign contracts now?" Gu Li turned to look at Neil, Neil nodded, and continued to scold me, "Your nasolabial folds seem to be almost catching up with the sutures of other people's surgery."
I don't need to look in the mirror, I also know that I look haggard and unkempt at the moment, and the alcohol has made my eyes bloodshot, I am like a long-haired rabbit that has been picked up and thrown against the wall three times.But the rabbit bit me when it got anxious, I pointed at Neil: "Do you think you are much better than me? Go and look in the mirror, the mirror will cry, okay?"
"Don't mention it, you have to be like me. After taking care of the baby for two days, you must be more broken than me. I have already made a mask before going out, took a shower, washed my hair and sprayed perfume," Neil looked like he was about to cry , "You know, I didn't even have time to spray perfume two days ago." That seems a bit serious, everyone knows Neil's perverted pursuit of perfume, three large cabinets and nine small drawers in his house were opened, The bottles and cans of perfume made him look like a Chinese medicine shop owner.
"Bringing a child? You got someone out for me?" Gu Li groaned and stood up from the sofa, almost bumping his head against the crystal lamp.
"It's not mine, it's your mother's." Neil took off his shirt completely, revealing all his tendons.Before I could wipe my drool, I was dragged back into his arms by Sogo, who was so good at killing my criminal thoughts in the bud. "Gu Zhun gave it to me to bring it two days ago."
"Oh. You mean Jimmy," Gu Li breathed a sigh of relief, "I tell you, children are very simple, don't you understand? A two-year-old child only needs a warm Hermes blanket, and then Put another LV wallet in his hand, and it will be fine. If it doesn’t work, you can hang a Van Cleef & Arpels necklace on him, spray a little Guerlain’s imperial water on him, take these two tubes of strong medicine, even Meng Jiangnu Reincarnated, he immediately shut up and didn't cry."
here we go again.Gu Li's face when he narrated these fallacies and heresies, looked like the female anchor of "Today's Statement", with awe-inspiring righteousness and deep hatred.If I hadn't tried it myself, I wouldn't doubt her authority at all.
"It didn't work, I tried everything. I even gave him my limited-edition Patek Philippe watch, and he mercilessly knocked on the railing of his wooden bed... My screams at that time, why? Speaking of which, the next day my neighbor asked me if I was watching "Saw 7" at home last night." Neil's little face was pale and pale, and it seemed that he still had lingering fear after the incident.I can understand that when I got out of the taxi, I put a Bottega Veneta bag lent to me by Gu Li in the door of the car. If Tang Wanru hadn't pulled me, I was really determined to go to the wheel. Lie down.
"And you know, Jimmy is teething now, and the first thing he does when he sees something is to put it in his mouth," Neil said, turning his head to greet Tang Wanru, "It's very similar to you." Continue to turn around and complain to Gu Li, "He's crawling and biting all over my house now, even if he had a dog, he's just peeing all over the house and enclosing the territory, but Jimmy tried to piss on everything. I left his tooth marks on the toilet to prove that 'I visited here', I don't know if it's my hallucination, I really feel that there is a ring of tooth marks on the ceramic toilet in my house. A friend of mine came to my house last night Come to play, sit down for 3 minutes and ask me if I have a nutria at home. Let me tell you, you must not give birth to a child casually, once this lump of meat comes out of your stomach, then Your life can be described in just one sentence..."
"Advise you to drink one more glass of wine, and go west to Yangguan without any old friends?" Gu Li asked.
"No, it's 'wake up earlier than a chicken, sleep later than a thief'." Neil clutched his head, still in shock.
Tang Wanru laughed and hung upside down on the sofa, her disheveled hair looked like Gu Li had just bought a black plush carpet.Speaking of plush rugs—
"Gu Li, do you have an endocrine disorder recently? I see that every time you wash your hair, you lose a lot of it. The pool is full of your hair. You must have lost too much. It's scary. Last week I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and I thought there was a human head in the sink! You should dye less color, you told me 'oak brown' and 'coffee brown', only the spectrum tester can see the difference, okay? Humans can't tell the difference! Have you ever asked your head how it feels? Does it want to be dyed by you every week?"
Alcohol builds courage, now I feel like the five heroes of Langya Mountain, I dare to pull my teeth out of a tiger's mouth, dare to shit on Gu Li's head, dare to put shit in Gong Ming's coffee cup...Gong Ming just forget it.When I thought of that face like coated paper, I shuddered instantly, and became a third awake.
"I'm losing my hair? That's Gu Yuan's! Didn't you see that my hair is curly? My wife's hair is thick and fluffy, and it's so shiny." She did Lin Chiling's provocative gesture in the shampoo commercial, and the light illuminated her In her thick Victorian short hair, it looks oily, like a plump chestnut.
"Your hair has been tossed so much by you, but it's so slick, how did you get it?" Chong Guang couldn't help interjecting.Under the light, Gu Li's beautiful hair was like a piece of silk satin.
"You know, I'm a scientist, and I'll try whatever news is released by a high-end medical institution or a private charlatan. Did you know that lately it's become popular among noble ladies in Shanghai to soak their hair in a pile of leeches? " Gu Li looked like a mouse-eye, as if he just walked out of a bottle of shampoo from the supermarket.
Chong Guang's face turned pale: "..."
Gu Li slowly withdrew her mouse-like eyes, and exhaled: "I tell you, it's useless."
"Curly hair doesn't necessarily belong to Gu Yuan, who doesn't have a few curly hair. You make him so shy."
While everyone was still immersed in the terrifying silence created by Gu Li just now, at this moment, a shy voice suddenly interjected from under the coffee table, only the voice was heard, but no one was seen, "I was frightened."
"Speaking of which, where's Gu Yuan?" Wei Hai, who didn't say a word just now, just looked at us giggling and drinking, looked around, and finally realized who he always felt was missing, "Why didn't you see him? It's time to get off work, right?" ?”
"Gu Yuan, he was with us on the Bund just now, and Nanxiang is also here. It's already late, and he hasn't come back yet. There are probably two situations. Either he was the mainstay, or he died and fell asleep on the toilet. .”
"You said Nan Xiang is here?" I suddenly sat up from Chong Guang's arms, half sober.
"Yeah, and let me tell you, the dress she is wearing today is really beautiful, as if the last piece of fire cloud was torn from the sky and wrapped around her body, if I read correctly, it should be this year's CHANEL autumn and winter new chiffon yarn skirt, that skirt is like a ball of true fire, she has been burning the whole place like this. And her bust line is very deep today, tell me, Gu Li, did you teach her to squeeze? Me and you Said oh, those men's eyes never moved away from her breasts. Really, the effect of her breasts today is amazing, I don't know if there is a Nu Bra in it, but I feel that if she lays down, she It's the roof of the world."
I'm wide awake.I feel as energetic as if I just drank a bowl of old mature vinegar. The Lingtai is clear, and I smell an unpleasant sour smell in my mouth: "Why would Nanxiang go to that kind of occasion? Is she suitable?"
"She is very suitable. I just want to kneel down and worship her, and then put a golden crown on her. She will plunge into a bunch of ladies and talk about how to maintain a limited edition platinum bag, and then float into a group of old men. Talk to them about the latest Sotheby’s auction, the most valuable is not the oil painting with the highest price. I feel that she is from the history of the European Renaissance to Du Pippin’s modern and contemporary art exhibition, from the Greek soprano Maria Callas went to Murong Xiaoxiao who sang "Love Trading", she knew everything, I admired her so much, she even said quietly that the cuff button on the cuff of a middle-aged man with a big belly was handmade Even if you put a diamond and a glass bead in front of me under that dim light, I might not be able to tell the difference! Besides, when did her English become so good? I’m almost catching up with my Chinese!” Neil was shirtless, lying on Gu Li’s lap and chattering endlessly, but luckily Gu Yuan wasn’t there, otherwise he would have been stuffed into the front-loading washing machine by Gu Yuan, “I always thought she was called to The reason, like me, is to play a high-level vase, and now I realize that only I am a vase, and she is a computer whose appearance has been made into a vase. Even if I use my trump card, I still lose to her .”
"What's your trump card?" Gu Li was a little puzzled.
"Undo two more buttons of your shirt!" Neil replied logically, with an expression on his face as if he was blaming Gu Li, "You don't understand this either."
I stood up unsteadily and went to the bathroom.
Their frolicking voices continued to be heard outside the door, Neil's nice voice in English, Chong Guang's deep and charming magnetic accent, Gu Li's rat-like voice of a venom sprayer, and Tang Wanru's joy of being both a lion and a horse laughter.
I unscrewed the faucet of the tap water and let the water rush into the drain hole. With my hands on the edge of the washbasin, I stood in front of the mirror. In the mirror, there was a woman with disheveled hair and a flushed face, and her eyes were full of thumbtacks. Light.
What am I resenting?I actually felt it vaguely, but I didn't want to admit it.I was kind of intimidated by the black slurry inside myself.
"What are you resenting?" At some point, Gu Li was already standing behind me.She reached out, turned off the faucet, then picked up the towel on the marble countertop, and gently wiped the sweat off my face.
"I don't know, I just have a feeling...'Suddenly I don't understand Nanxiang anymore'," I found Gu Li's eyes in the mirror, her eyes were rare and soft, my throat tightened suddenly, as if being trapped I was holding tight, my voice sounded like a duck eating soup, it was ridiculous, "Gu Li, do you know, I have the same feeling for you. It feels like I don't understand you suddenly. Tang Wanru Yeah, I don't understand either."
Gu Li filled the huge jacuzzi with water, and made a full tank of foam with foaming body wash. The whole bathroom was illuminated by the bright yellow light of the Yuba, and at the same time, steaming steam enveloped us. All over my body, I felt suddenly relaxed.
Gu Li and I slid into the bathtub, with our toes touching our toes and our knees touching our knees. She casually took out a box of makeup remover milk from the side of the bathtub and gave it to me. She opened the box and dug out a big lump, and put it in my palm. I was rubbing my face while chatting with her, and the black water flowed from my fingers into the bathtub, but Gu Li didn't feel disgusted at all.
I cried and said, "Gu Li, I envy you so much."
Gu Li said: "My father is dead, and I don't know my mother. What are you envious of?"
I took the shower head and sprayed the foam on the residual makeup on my face. I was drunk, and I was still talking while showering, so a lot of foam ran into my mouth, and the taste was very astringent and bitter.I said, "Gu Li, you are beautiful, you have a good family, and you know a lot. No one can lie to you or bully you."
Gu Li didn't speak, she asked me softly after a while, she said: "Lin Xiao, are you jealous of Nan Xiang?
I buried my face in my palms, and after a long while, I said in a voice I could barely hear, "Well, I am."
On top of my head, Gu Li's palm was small and soft.
"But do you know, Lin Xiao, Nan Xiang and I have always envied you."
After Gu Li and I soaked in the bathtub for an hour, the people outside finally couldn't help commotion, especially Neil, who slammed on the door desperately, saying that he would join us.Gu Li rejected him sternly: "Go and change the gender on the passport first!"
Gu Li and I went out in bathrobes. With my decadent plain face, coupled with the wine-colored flush all over my body, combined with my wet hair, I looked like a hairy crab that just came out of a pot.But Gu Li is still glamorous, even her shiny chestnut hair is still intact.Her mascara and eye shadow are really waterproof. I think even if the 2012 tsunami rushed over, she would still be able to struggle in the turbid waves with full makeup like this.
Gu Li glanced at the newly added empty wine bottles on the coffee table: "Why are you still drinking? If you drink any more, you will almost drink up the cheap ones bought from the supermarket stored in my house. The rest Alcohol is very expensive, do you have enough cash? Although I don’t accept credit cards, I can transfer money via Alipay.”
Sogo: "..."
"Wei Hai said he's leaving the day after tomorrow, and he's leaving Shanghai." Tang Wanru's eyes were crying like peaches, "What do you think Nanxiang should do?"
I looked at the silent Wei Hai, he looked really pitiful.He looked like a frustrated black-backed wolfhound, with his head down and his tail between his legs.It seems that he didn't tell others about his breakup with Nanxiang.
The negative emotions towards Nanxiang that I had just subsided in my heart surged up to the coast like a tide.Countless white bones, wreckage, and filth were all stranded on the beach again, exposed to the moonlight naked.
"Nan Xiang? She and Wei Hai have already broken up, there is nothing to do." Gu Li calmly opened a new bottle of red wine, and the room was filled with an intoxicating fruity aroma.
Wei Hai and Tang Wanru and I raised our heads in surprise at the same time. Although we were shocked for different reasons, our words were surprisingly consistent: "How do you know?"
"When I left the restaurant for dinner, I went to the front desk on the first floor to change the invoice, so I was a little late. When I went out, I saw Nan Xiang getting into Gu Zhun's car. The two of them should be together now." Gu Li poured out The glass was full, and I took a big sip by myself.
"Getting in the car doesn't mean we're together, I've even ridden in Neil's car!" Tang Wanru retorted unwillingly, and Neil next to him was terrified.
"Then did you kiss the back of the head with Neil for 30 seconds in Neil's car?" Gu Li rolled her eyes, the corners of her mouth curled up in disdain, revealing her sharp canine teeth.
Everyone was silent.In the silent silence, Tang Wanru couldn't help letting out a slight sob.
"It's okay, I will come back to see you often." Wei Hai raised his head, smiled, took the wine bottle, and poured himself another glass. He was already drunk, I think he just wanted to drink himself up It's just more thorough, "And now that the Internet is so developed, mobile phones, text messages, E-mail, and a lot of Michat, WeChat, facetime, etc. that I don't understand."
"Cheers." Chong Guang walked over from the opposite sofa and raised his shaking glass.
All of us got drunk that night.Gu Li giggled and rushed to the bedroom, moved her old record player to the living room, and she emptied out that huge antique-like vinyl record, so amidst the creaking noise, Feng Feifei's familiar voice embraced tightly again live us.
Let youth blow your long hair and let it lead your dreams.
Before you know it, the history of this world has remembered your smile.
The red and blue sky in the heart is the beginning of life.
The melody of that era is so nice, and their voices are so pure.In the era that was far away, there was no electronic cloud that exploded every day, and there was no noisy and restless radio wave that traveled through the sky. We stayed by the desk with a single lamp. For so many nights, the diaries we wrote, the letterheads we wrote, they fell asleep In the river of time.
In that era, there were no chaotic nightclubs, bars, and KTVs. We always held ink-scented novels in our lonely nights, and projected our lives into strange stories amidst tears and laughter.The silence outside the window allows our sensitive and young hearts to capture any slight sound, the sound of the dense rain and your call to me, all clearly audible at night.
But now, night after night, we are shouting hysterically at the mobile phone on the busy street or in the bar with loud music, but we still can't hear each other's voice.
Take a look at me, don't let the confidante keep her pillow empty.
Youth, no regrets, eternal lover.
At that time, when we missed each other, we would wear gloves and ride bicycles in winter, and ran to see him.Standing downstairs in his house, crying and laughing, hugging him, nothing is enough.It was like wanting to hug him into my chest, otherwise my heart would not be settled.We stayed in the mail room at the school gate, lying on the window sill every day, waiting to see if our name was written on the small blackboard inside to remind us to receive mail.
And now, in the future, and in a longer future, maybe we can only type out the three words "Are you there" coldly on the dialog box of QQ or MSN, these three words are like falling into the bottomless abyss. Like a stone, there was no echo.On the cold monitor screen, there is only our own cold and blank face.
I was indeed drunk, but I didn't feel bad. It felt like the comfortable and lazy state when I just took cold medicine. I didn't have anything in my mind, but I felt inexplicably happy, and then suddenly sad.
After Gu Li drank, she ran to the toilet and vomited. I followed and flushed my face under the faucet. She took off her pants and sat on the toilet in front of me. She really didn't treat me like an outsider.She stood up from the toilet and quickly pressed the flush button, but I still glanced unconsciously. The bloody water stayed for less than two seconds before disappearing into the sewer.
I opened the mirror cabinet, pulled out a sanitary napkin and threw it to her.
My last memory is of me lying on the sofa with my head resting on Sogo's lap.He leaned down and looked at me very, very closely and kissed me.
His pupils filled again with that sweet and sad, hot and strong syrup.He looked at me like a brush covered with hot wax, licking slowly across my face. I was hot and confused by this licking.I finally lost consciousness in his fierce breath.
I didn't realize that our disaster—yes, that disaster that had been brewing for five full years finally kicked off the much-anticipated scarlet curtain.
The light of the bayonet, the sound of the barrel, and the anxious and crazy eyes of the audience are woven with bloodthirsty hunger for souls.
Yeah, I've waited too long, and it's finally here.Cheers.
To greet the morning of destruction the next day.
(End of this chapter)
I once said that Nanxiang is like a Pandora's box.
No one will open her easily.But once the lid of the box is opened, no one can predict what kind of monsters will come out of it, such as mud horses or salamanders, Spiderman or bone spirits. There is no lower limit and no upper limit.
The fact that Gong Ming and Nan Xiang had dinner in the Sinan mansion was like dropping a decisive nuclear bomb in my mind, just like the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan, and Japan waved it a few days later. The white flag surrendered.At this moment, my remaining rationality is barely wailing, like the last battle flag fluttering on a battlefield full of corpses.
However, I underestimated the lethality of Nanxiang.
After she completed the navigation work of this missile, she drove another armored vehicle, which leisurely crushed the bloody battlefield with thousands of ravines into flat ground. It became a pile of flat sand.
She stood up and nodded towards the door. I followed her gaze and saw that Gu Zhun, who was dressed in a dark wool suit, walked in while talking on the phone.When he walked to his seat, he hung up the phone politely, then extended his hand to shake Gong Ming.
——What combination is this?
This is a yangko dance group composed of Jolin Tsai, Baby Annie and Yuan Longping.
I turned around to look at the people around me, Gu Li, Tang Wanru, Chong Guang, Wei Hai, everyone had different eyes.Although they have ghosts in each other's minds, they are all silent in a very tacit understanding.
I just feel bad for the veal steak that night.
This restaurant is famous for its steaks—notoriously good, notoriously refined, and notoriously expensive.If you knew the price, you'd think that little boxy, dark thing served on a plate was actually an iPhone 4s.However, like an anorexic, I have no interest in the exquisite ingredients that everyone flocks to in front of me.I can't even tell whether it's beef or asparagus that I'm cutting under my knife and fork, let alone close my eyes and rest my mind like other gourmets, closing all my sight and hearing, leaving only the taste of my tongue and the smell of my nose, to come Feel the food in front of you in all directions.
My eyes are firmly fixed on the three well-dressed, well-behaved, and abnormally good-looking humans ten meters in front of the left, just like an ugly frog lying in the grass, staring at the three dancing on the grass blades. like a butterfly.
Both Gu Zhun and Gong Ming can be drawn together under the word "pale", but the difference is that Gu Zhun is like a young god of death who came to the world to have fun. He is covered in dark material from head to toe, with jet-black hair and dark pupils , Eyes with thick eyelashes are pitch black, and a suit seems to drag him into the night of another world.Under the darkness, his young and plump fair skin is set off like the lightest layer of fresh white snow on the top of the mountains. There is a chilling elegance in the mysterious smile at the corner of his mouth. He is like a man dressed in black sheep. A grim reaper with a woolen suit and a scythe hidden.But Gong Ming's pale and thin face reveals a kind of frail beauty.His hair is soft, his eyebrows and eyes are too deep and charming, so they are less lethal, and when the corners of his eyes occasionally smile, they will reveal the small wrinkles that are unique to mature men. The light and shadow of the years that porcelain bodies cannot have, his lips always have a subtle and attractive opening and closing like a purple gold flower, and his hair has an elegant oak color under the light, like a glass of rich wine. Satin coffee.He is like an archangel wrapped in gray soft cashmere, with his wings folded, and his brows are always covered with sadness.
And what about Nanxiang?She can be anyone.
She can be the goddess of nemesis wrapped in a black robe, with the dark oasis in her eyes to breed the fanatical revenge in the heart of all things; she can also be Gaia, the goddess of the earth, who can be born after the goddess of the night, creating the earth and the sky And the ocean, she is one of the creators of the world.
She can be Pandora, she can also be Athena.She has a variety of styles and unlimited masks.
I think if I put a little thought into it, I should be able to understand Gu Li.But I have exhausted my whole life's strength, but I can't handle Nanxiang.
I don't know what kind of mood the few people around me are eating.The famous dinners of all ages in the world, from the last supper, to Hongmen Banquet, from Tiffany’s breakfast, to the Buddha-painted banquet, and even the mentally ill Shi Chong banquet, I think we should add a Sinan mansion in the future dinner party.
When Gong Ming raised his head, he finally saw us.The dim light made him a little uncertain, especially the person facing him was Tang Wanru. I think he must have felt that he was hallucinating in the first few seconds.But Sogo raised his hand and made a slight gesture at him.Chong Guang stood up, he might need to go over to say hello, he lowered his head and asked Gu Li beside me with his eyes, Gu Li nodded, then turned his head to signal me.
Under Gu Li's gesture, I pulled out the chair and stood up.
With a short distance of ten meters, I constantly adjusted my mentality.In this world, there will always be some roads that are absolutely difficult for you to walk on. A few meters of space is enough to kill you.For example, walking up to the last step of the gallows, such as the seven stone steps before the throne when he was crowned and coronated, such as the bloody red carpet in the wedding hall.
Gong Ming and Gu Zhun politely opened their chairs and stood up when we walked over. Nan Xiang's back was facing us. Putting down the knife and fork without hesitation, she picked up the napkin from her lap and placed it gently on the table, then she stood up politely and turned to face us.When she saw Gu Li and me, she wasn't surprised.I looked at her elegant and glamorous, and jealousy grew in my heart.I went through so many "Western Food Etiquette" and "Encyclopedia of Social Etiquette", and I was dizzy by the various terms and clauses in it. I saw what size plate I needed to pick up the fork; You may also encounter the dilemma of not being able to tell the difference between a meat knife and a fish knife; when you see sparkling mineral water, which appetizer should you eat first; fold the napkin in half and put it on your lap ; Chatting with people in the clockwise position and chatting with people in the counterclockwise position, how to exchange or place the knife and fork in your hand...
But all of these, as if they were innate instincts, were perfectly interpreted by Nan Xiang.
I do not believe.
I don't want to believe it.
I don’t want to believe that this little girl who grew up with me, who eats with chopsticks or hands while holding a plate in a kitchen of a few square meters surrounded by soot in the alley, looks like a shining princess of Monaco at the moment.I can't even see the brand of the dress on her, the matte satin texture can't be chosen by her from ZARA or H&M, but I don't believe her authority has reached the same level as Kitty or Gu Li, Feel free to steal from the company's photo samples.
Although my heart did not burn with a faint blue flame, it has already swelled to a red heat like boiling iron.
I can't greet everyone casually like Gu Li and Chong Guang.Sogo has changed into the standard face that represents Lu Shao. He speaks English most of the time and Mandarin a little of the time.Gu Li is the same, it is the face of the standard Windows startup interface that has not changed for thousands of years.
I couldn't keep up with their conversations. In the final analysis, my morals were not enough.All I could do was keep a smile on my face and try not to burn myself up like an incinerator on the spot.Believe me, just maintaining a calm smile is already the limit of my practice.
When Gong Ming heard that today was the celebration of Tang Wanru's moving, he turned his head and told Nanxiang to ask for another bottle of wine to be delivered to our table—this was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
This scene was like a chisel for breaking ice, and instantly cut a big hole in the ice shell that I barely maintained at the critical point. I couldn't hold back, and blurted out: "Mr. Gong, Kitty is not here today, so let me come. After all, I am sorry for you. I know better, Nan Xiang doesn’t know anything.”
I don't know why I say such a thing.I subconsciously wanted to grab something and occupy something.It's like a cat whose back hair is instantly erected when another animal suddenly breaks into its territory.I tug the hem of my dress lightly to make it look less wrinkled on my body.I hated myself for walking out in a navy blue sweater that made me look like a delivery guy in the wind and rain.
"No, let Nan Xiang go, today is her reserved seat." Gong Ming said nonchalantly, he didn't even turn his head from the conversation with Gu Li Chongguang, he didn't even look at me.
Nan Xiang's face was a little embarrassed, and her eyes were conveying something to me, but my heart was already burned into charcoal, and there was nothing in my mind at the moment except for the hysterical impulse to prove something.
Unwilling to attack again, to be precise, I should humiliate myself again.I said: "Nanxiang, it may be your first time to come to Sinan Mansion. I have already checked a lot of information here for Mr. Gong. I also know a lot about the food and drinks in this restaurant. Let me come. After all, it's too difficult for you to control this kind of place. Besides, I'm Mr. Gong's assistant, so I should do these trivial things."
Nan Xiang looked at me with sympathy and pity.
Gong Ming turned his head from their conversation, the light in his eyes was lukewarm, like a glass of water without emotions, bubbles or even mineral smell.He said: "Actually, I know this place, and it was recommended to me by Nanxiang. The first time I came here, she brought me here. Lin Xiao, aren't you on weekends today? Just let Nanxiang come, Don't interfere."
Nan Xiang didn't look at me, but turned around and walked towards the bar.Her back is a little awkward, but more, it should be because she doesn't want to face my embarrassing situation at this moment.Her curvaceous back and her smooth and noble bun are like a pair of contrived hands, stroking and comforting me, while saying to me: "You idiot."
I turned around: "I'm going to the bathroom first."
I tried to keep my feet steady, and I tried not to cry.
I only have this last bit of dignity left, like a broken flag fluttering in the smoky sky, it represents the glory of the past and the shame of the present.
Later, when I changed my job, changed the city I lived in, changed all the living habits I used to take for granted, and even changed my heart and life, I would re-examine myself from time to time.
I am actually a low self-esteem and jealous woman.
The combination of me and Gu Li, Nan Xiang, and Tang Wanru, on the surface, I am in a position where I am not high enough to be low enough. I am far inferior to Gu Li in terms of economic conditions, family background and status; , was even thrown out of a thousand and one streets by Nanxiang.But I also have Tang Wanru at the bottom, who can make me feel complacent living in this airtight and stable world.But later, I kept replaying our past in my mind, and I gradually realized that in my heart, I never felt that the three of them were better than me.
First of all, Gu Li, my dependence on Gu Li is actually a kind of reaction force, which is a kind of projection based on Gu Li's dependence on me. In fact, all of them are her mirror image projected on me.Regarding Gu Li, my sense of superiority comes from knowing from the bottom of my heart that no matter how golden and invulnerable she looks, she can cultivate a golden body by meditating on the spot, but snakes have seven inches and dragons have reverse scales, so her door is her loneliness.She is a total failure at meeting the most basic needs of humans as a social animal.She has no friends, no one cares about her, and her only boyfriend is a computer just like her.And I was the only friend in her life.Although she also got mixed up with Nanxiang Tang Wanru, I knew in my heart that it was only because I got mixed up with Nanxiang Tang Wanru.All my dependence on her is to make her more dependent on me. There is an insidious monster living in my subconscious. Her person, together with her soul, was swallowed into her stomach and taken as her own.That's why, every time I think she's hiding something from me, deceiving me, I get hysterical.Because I selfishly think that Gu Li should not have reservations about me. If there is anyone in the world who can share with her, then this person can only be me.However, by the time I figured it all out, it was too late.
So what about Tang Wanru, let alone.For her, my sense of superiority can come from all aspects, every inch of my body, hair and skin, every pore exudes condescension and domineering towards Tang Wanru.I think I am saving her. I subconsciously think that without me, she would not be able to become friends with Nanxiang Gu Li. Without me, she can only be like a runaway wild horse in the badminton hall day after day Swinging the racket like foaming at the mouth until old age fades and desolately retires.How could she go to Sheshan Villa to celebrate her birthday with Gong Ming Chongguang at Christmas?How could she be lucky enough to let Sogo help her move and wash the dishes?
The last is Nanxiang.Her skin is indeed as fine as snow, as fine as creamy fat, and she is incomparably charming. I can't compare to her. Standing with her is like a gourd baby standing beside Fan Bingbing.But I firmly believe that beauty is unlucky and ugly women are blessed.Nan Xiang is a beauty, but her fate is unlucky; I am indeed an ugly girl, but I am blessed.This has always been the way I get along with Nanxiang, and it is also a bottom line in my subconscious.In the first twenty or so years of her life, she was indeed too unlucky and tragic. She was entangled by that broom star in Xicheng.Her family was poor and her talents were underappreciated.Her life is capitalized "tragedy".I envy her beauty, but I sympathize with her experience. My inner balance maintains a delicate balance of good and evil.However, when one day she could sit gracefully with Gong Ming and eat premium steaks, and when she could pass me directly into a level that she had never been able to touch for more than [-] years, the balance in my heart suddenly tipped over. It smashed a huge hole in the inner wall of my heart, and the cobweb cracks all over the wall were about to tear me apart.I faintly feel that she is becoming more and more aware that her beauty will be an invincible weapon in this gray and bloody society. She is awakening into a goddess of killing with a giant sword in her hand.
My low self-esteem makes me unable to tolerate all this.
I'm afraid of being the most mediocre of them all, I'm afraid of being someone they don't need anymore.
My inferiority complex breeds jealousy, and my jealousy heats up to flames.
It ultimately incinerates everything we once had into scalding black ashes.
I'm the one who should die the most.
After finishing the main course, Gong Ming left early without waiting for the dessert to be served.I am not surprised by this, most of the time when he has dinner appointments with people ends early.There are only a handful of occasions where he can accompany the other party until the end of the entire meal.On several occasions, he even left in a hurry after finishing his appetizers and a few sips of aperitif.He even sat down once, took two sips of mineral water, and then left, leaving Kitty and I staring at each other's seven guests at the table.
I have always believed that there is a stopwatch in his body that keeps ticking and urging him to do things, and there is an automatic word prompter in his mind that keeps running down the subtitles.There are two stopwatches running precisely outside of his body: me and Kitty.
But now I'm a little skeptical about having a third stopwatch.
After Gong Ming left, Chong Guang and Gu Li obviously relaxed.They chatted casually with Tang Wanru and Wei Hai, but I didn't listen to a word.My eyes are still pressed on Nan Xiang's slender figure like a flat-screen LCD TV like two thumbtacks.
Nan Xiang's profile looks like a carefully carved porcelain, and my straight and stiff back combined with my motionless head makes me look like a hammer.I really want to chip something up.
Nan Xiang and Gu Zhun maintained an unhurried chat speed, which made her look very elegant, and would not be too fast to make people think she was frivolous, nor would it be cold to make people think she was boring.What the hell is she doing when we are tired like dogs every day?She totally looked like she had gone to a special agent training.
She ignored me completely.Her neglect of me ignited my anger even more. I stared at her intently, trying to catch the moment when she turned her head to look at me at any time, and then I would burn the fire in my eyes.However, how clever she is, she didn't give me such a chance at all, she didn't even turn her head to look at me-or she didn't care.My glaring became more and more ridiculous and pathetic in the persistence of not getting a response every second.As if hysterically punching and punching, but swinging into the empty darkness, bursts of empty space and loss hit me back, I felt like a dried shell opened to dry, washed by the tides one after another, I was ridiculous on this sad sandy beach.
I threw the knife and fork in my hand onto the plate.
Unsurprisingly, the huge crisp sound caught everyone's attention. Several foreigners at the next table frowned and looked at me. Gu Li pushed his chair away without saying a word and got up to pay the bill. Sogo's voice was obviously controlled. Anger, he wrapped it with love and tenderness to make it less hurtful, he gently leaned towards me and asked me in a low voice: "What do you want?"
I don't want to do it, I just want that fine china in front of me to turn her head and look at me so that I can go mad at her and wrestle and then hug her head like we've been doing for the past ten years cry bitterly.
But she didn't.
Nan Xiang never looked at me from the beginning to the end.
On the other hand, Gu Zhun raised his head slightly to look at me from the conversation with Nan Xiang, and that casual glance was full of pity and sympathy.
Sogo pulled me out of the restaurant.
Tang Wanru and Wei Hai also left the meeting in embarrassment.When she left, she took the bottle of red wine, which she had only drank a third of, because she saw the price of the bottle on the menu, "Would you put 2000 yuan on the table and walk away?"
Later, after we drank up the 2000 yuan, we continued to drink wine from Gu Li's wine cabinet.
It was already very dark outside the window, and now it started to rain lightly again.The old brass street lamps have already been lit up, exuding an old halo, and the orange lights are hidden behind the canopy, like furry eyes peeking at us one by one.After drinking a few bottles of red wine, my eyes seemed to be covered with a frosted glass filter. Those furry street lamps stared at me sadly in the cold rain. I felt the scenery outside the window in the wind and rain. It looks very familiar, but I can't remember where I saw it.
Two hours ago, we moved back to Gu Li's house from Sinan Mansion.I knew I had lost the moment I dropped the knife and fork back on the plate with a bang.I became a clown who just fell off a wheelbarrow and got fired: funny, humiliating, tragic.So, getting myself drunk was the only thing left for me to do, because under the influence of alcohol, everyone would become funny, humiliating, and tragic.
I am no longer alone.
When drinking the second bottle, Neil suddenly came over.He was wearing a black suit, and his tie had been loosened by him and hung on the neckline. The neckline was open, revealing a reddish fair skin on his chest, and his whole body turned red when he drank.His charming eyes stared at us as if glued, and he was still holding a half-drunk bottle of red wine.He fell on the sofa and put his head on Gu Li's lap: "Sister! I'm drunk!"
I rushed over here and there, with a lewd laugh of "hehehehehehe", I must look like a Huadiao chicken that has been soaked in a wine jar for three days and three nights, and I obviously heard Chongguang behind me A gleeful laugh.Whenever I get drunk, he is very happy, like a third-grade kid watching "Blue Mouse and Big-Faced Cat".
"Who poured you down?" My knee hit the sharp corner of the coffee table, and I grinned and squeezed to Gu Li's side to rub my legs, "Are you going to a wedding or a funeral dressed like this?"
"I was just upstairs at No. 27 Roosevelt on the Bund. Gong Ming was drinking with a group of advertisers. I was dragged to play the role of a flower vase. I was in charge of three people. I will be old enough to be my grandma next year, but I still insist on wearing an evening dress. The ladies with most of their breasts outside were drinking and chatting. I regretted that I stood too close to them, and the lights were on. I saw the wrinkles on their faces. Hey, they have three layers inside and three layers outside. Wear The woman in the red dress wore a feather hat, which looked like an owl was tired from flying and fell from the sky and hit her head. The other woman seemed to wear a circle around her neck, It was hard for me to look at her. She couldn't lift her head under the weight of that hoop-like necklace all night, and she was talking to my belly button the whole time. The last woman was even more frightening, her pair of high heels were so high Ah, I was worried about her when I stood beside her, and I was ready to help her at any time, to be honest, with the height of her feet, if she fell, it would be no different from committing suicide by jumping from the second floor."
The little bastard in front of me who has just returned to Shanghai, who can’t even speak Mandarin well, and who speaks English to us twice in three days, is talking like a thousand lightning firecrackers in his mouth.
"Speaking of which, Lin Xiao, what's wrong with you? You look really bad, like a piece of crumpled 80-gram Alena Kamonken paper." He spoke more and more like a person from "ME", Full of jargon, thinking that others can understand it.
"Your department also uses this kind of paper to sign contracts now?" Gu Li turned to look at Neil, Neil nodded, and continued to scold me, "Your nasolabial folds seem to be almost catching up with the sutures of other people's surgery."
I don't need to look in the mirror, I also know that I look haggard and unkempt at the moment, and the alcohol has made my eyes bloodshot, I am like a long-haired rabbit that has been picked up and thrown against the wall three times.But the rabbit bit me when it got anxious, I pointed at Neil: "Do you think you are much better than me? Go and look in the mirror, the mirror will cry, okay?"
"Don't mention it, you have to be like me. After taking care of the baby for two days, you must be more broken than me. I have already made a mask before going out, took a shower, washed my hair and sprayed perfume," Neil looked like he was about to cry , "You know, I didn't even have time to spray perfume two days ago." That seems a bit serious, everyone knows Neil's perverted pursuit of perfume, three large cabinets and nine small drawers in his house were opened, The bottles and cans of perfume made him look like a Chinese medicine shop owner.
"Bringing a child? You got someone out for me?" Gu Li groaned and stood up from the sofa, almost bumping his head against the crystal lamp.
"It's not mine, it's your mother's." Neil took off his shirt completely, revealing all his tendons.Before I could wipe my drool, I was dragged back into his arms by Sogo, who was so good at killing my criminal thoughts in the bud. "Gu Zhun gave it to me to bring it two days ago."
"Oh. You mean Jimmy," Gu Li breathed a sigh of relief, "I tell you, children are very simple, don't you understand? A two-year-old child only needs a warm Hermes blanket, and then Put another LV wallet in his hand, and it will be fine. If it doesn’t work, you can hang a Van Cleef & Arpels necklace on him, spray a little Guerlain’s imperial water on him, take these two tubes of strong medicine, even Meng Jiangnu Reincarnated, he immediately shut up and didn't cry."
here we go again.Gu Li's face when he narrated these fallacies and heresies, looked like the female anchor of "Today's Statement", with awe-inspiring righteousness and deep hatred.If I hadn't tried it myself, I wouldn't doubt her authority at all.
"It didn't work, I tried everything. I even gave him my limited-edition Patek Philippe watch, and he mercilessly knocked on the railing of his wooden bed... My screams at that time, why? Speaking of which, the next day my neighbor asked me if I was watching "Saw 7" at home last night." Neil's little face was pale and pale, and it seemed that he still had lingering fear after the incident.I can understand that when I got out of the taxi, I put a Bottega Veneta bag lent to me by Gu Li in the door of the car. If Tang Wanru hadn't pulled me, I was really determined to go to the wheel. Lie down.
"And you know, Jimmy is teething now, and the first thing he does when he sees something is to put it in his mouth," Neil said, turning his head to greet Tang Wanru, "It's very similar to you." Continue to turn around and complain to Gu Li, "He's crawling and biting all over my house now, even if he had a dog, he's just peeing all over the house and enclosing the territory, but Jimmy tried to piss on everything. I left his tooth marks on the toilet to prove that 'I visited here', I don't know if it's my hallucination, I really feel that there is a ring of tooth marks on the ceramic toilet in my house. A friend of mine came to my house last night Come to play, sit down for 3 minutes and ask me if I have a nutria at home. Let me tell you, you must not give birth to a child casually, once this lump of meat comes out of your stomach, then Your life can be described in just one sentence..."
"Advise you to drink one more glass of wine, and go west to Yangguan without any old friends?" Gu Li asked.
"No, it's 'wake up earlier than a chicken, sleep later than a thief'." Neil clutched his head, still in shock.
Tang Wanru laughed and hung upside down on the sofa, her disheveled hair looked like Gu Li had just bought a black plush carpet.Speaking of plush rugs—
"Gu Li, do you have an endocrine disorder recently? I see that every time you wash your hair, you lose a lot of it. The pool is full of your hair. You must have lost too much. It's scary. Last week I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and I thought there was a human head in the sink! You should dye less color, you told me 'oak brown' and 'coffee brown', only the spectrum tester can see the difference, okay? Humans can't tell the difference! Have you ever asked your head how it feels? Does it want to be dyed by you every week?"
Alcohol builds courage, now I feel like the five heroes of Langya Mountain, I dare to pull my teeth out of a tiger's mouth, dare to shit on Gu Li's head, dare to put shit in Gong Ming's coffee cup...Gong Ming just forget it.When I thought of that face like coated paper, I shuddered instantly, and became a third awake.
"I'm losing my hair? That's Gu Yuan's! Didn't you see that my hair is curly? My wife's hair is thick and fluffy, and it's so shiny." She did Lin Chiling's provocative gesture in the shampoo commercial, and the light illuminated her In her thick Victorian short hair, it looks oily, like a plump chestnut.
"Your hair has been tossed so much by you, but it's so slick, how did you get it?" Chong Guang couldn't help interjecting.Under the light, Gu Li's beautiful hair was like a piece of silk satin.
"You know, I'm a scientist, and I'll try whatever news is released by a high-end medical institution or a private charlatan. Did you know that lately it's become popular among noble ladies in Shanghai to soak their hair in a pile of leeches? " Gu Li looked like a mouse-eye, as if he just walked out of a bottle of shampoo from the supermarket.
Chong Guang's face turned pale: "..."
Gu Li slowly withdrew her mouse-like eyes, and exhaled: "I tell you, it's useless."
"Curly hair doesn't necessarily belong to Gu Yuan, who doesn't have a few curly hair. You make him so shy."
While everyone was still immersed in the terrifying silence created by Gu Li just now, at this moment, a shy voice suddenly interjected from under the coffee table, only the voice was heard, but no one was seen, "I was frightened."
"Speaking of which, where's Gu Yuan?" Wei Hai, who didn't say a word just now, just looked at us giggling and drinking, looked around, and finally realized who he always felt was missing, "Why didn't you see him? It's time to get off work, right?" ?”
"Gu Yuan, he was with us on the Bund just now, and Nanxiang is also here. It's already late, and he hasn't come back yet. There are probably two situations. Either he was the mainstay, or he died and fell asleep on the toilet. .”
"You said Nan Xiang is here?" I suddenly sat up from Chong Guang's arms, half sober.
"Yeah, and let me tell you, the dress she is wearing today is really beautiful, as if the last piece of fire cloud was torn from the sky and wrapped around her body, if I read correctly, it should be this year's CHANEL autumn and winter new chiffon yarn skirt, that skirt is like a ball of true fire, she has been burning the whole place like this. And her bust line is very deep today, tell me, Gu Li, did you teach her to squeeze? Me and you Said oh, those men's eyes never moved away from her breasts. Really, the effect of her breasts today is amazing, I don't know if there is a Nu Bra in it, but I feel that if she lays down, she It's the roof of the world."
I'm wide awake.I feel as energetic as if I just drank a bowl of old mature vinegar. The Lingtai is clear, and I smell an unpleasant sour smell in my mouth: "Why would Nanxiang go to that kind of occasion? Is she suitable?"
"She is very suitable. I just want to kneel down and worship her, and then put a golden crown on her. She will plunge into a bunch of ladies and talk about how to maintain a limited edition platinum bag, and then float into a group of old men. Talk to them about the latest Sotheby’s auction, the most valuable is not the oil painting with the highest price. I feel that she is from the history of the European Renaissance to Du Pippin’s modern and contemporary art exhibition, from the Greek soprano Maria Callas went to Murong Xiaoxiao who sang "Love Trading", she knew everything, I admired her so much, she even said quietly that the cuff button on the cuff of a middle-aged man with a big belly was handmade Even if you put a diamond and a glass bead in front of me under that dim light, I might not be able to tell the difference! Besides, when did her English become so good? I’m almost catching up with my Chinese!” Neil was shirtless, lying on Gu Li’s lap and chattering endlessly, but luckily Gu Yuan wasn’t there, otherwise he would have been stuffed into the front-loading washing machine by Gu Yuan, “I always thought she was called to The reason, like me, is to play a high-level vase, and now I realize that only I am a vase, and she is a computer whose appearance has been made into a vase. Even if I use my trump card, I still lose to her .”
"What's your trump card?" Gu Li was a little puzzled.
"Undo two more buttons of your shirt!" Neil replied logically, with an expression on his face as if he was blaming Gu Li, "You don't understand this either."
I stood up unsteadily and went to the bathroom.
Their frolicking voices continued to be heard outside the door, Neil's nice voice in English, Chong Guang's deep and charming magnetic accent, Gu Li's rat-like voice of a venom sprayer, and Tang Wanru's joy of being both a lion and a horse laughter.
I unscrewed the faucet of the tap water and let the water rush into the drain hole. With my hands on the edge of the washbasin, I stood in front of the mirror. In the mirror, there was a woman with disheveled hair and a flushed face, and her eyes were full of thumbtacks. Light.
What am I resenting?I actually felt it vaguely, but I didn't want to admit it.I was kind of intimidated by the black slurry inside myself.
"What are you resenting?" At some point, Gu Li was already standing behind me.She reached out, turned off the faucet, then picked up the towel on the marble countertop, and gently wiped the sweat off my face.
"I don't know, I just have a feeling...'Suddenly I don't understand Nanxiang anymore'," I found Gu Li's eyes in the mirror, her eyes were rare and soft, my throat tightened suddenly, as if being trapped I was holding tight, my voice sounded like a duck eating soup, it was ridiculous, "Gu Li, do you know, I have the same feeling for you. It feels like I don't understand you suddenly. Tang Wanru Yeah, I don't understand either."
Gu Li filled the huge jacuzzi with water, and made a full tank of foam with foaming body wash. The whole bathroom was illuminated by the bright yellow light of the Yuba, and at the same time, steaming steam enveloped us. All over my body, I felt suddenly relaxed.
Gu Li and I slid into the bathtub, with our toes touching our toes and our knees touching our knees. She casually took out a box of makeup remover milk from the side of the bathtub and gave it to me. She opened the box and dug out a big lump, and put it in my palm. I was rubbing my face while chatting with her, and the black water flowed from my fingers into the bathtub, but Gu Li didn't feel disgusted at all.
I cried and said, "Gu Li, I envy you so much."
Gu Li said: "My father is dead, and I don't know my mother. What are you envious of?"
I took the shower head and sprayed the foam on the residual makeup on my face. I was drunk, and I was still talking while showering, so a lot of foam ran into my mouth, and the taste was very astringent and bitter.I said, "Gu Li, you are beautiful, you have a good family, and you know a lot. No one can lie to you or bully you."
Gu Li didn't speak, she asked me softly after a while, she said: "Lin Xiao, are you jealous of Nan Xiang?
I buried my face in my palms, and after a long while, I said in a voice I could barely hear, "Well, I am."
On top of my head, Gu Li's palm was small and soft.
"But do you know, Lin Xiao, Nan Xiang and I have always envied you."
After Gu Li and I soaked in the bathtub for an hour, the people outside finally couldn't help commotion, especially Neil, who slammed on the door desperately, saying that he would join us.Gu Li rejected him sternly: "Go and change the gender on the passport first!"
Gu Li and I went out in bathrobes. With my decadent plain face, coupled with the wine-colored flush all over my body, combined with my wet hair, I looked like a hairy crab that just came out of a pot.But Gu Li is still glamorous, even her shiny chestnut hair is still intact.Her mascara and eye shadow are really waterproof. I think even if the 2012 tsunami rushed over, she would still be able to struggle in the turbid waves with full makeup like this.
Gu Li glanced at the newly added empty wine bottles on the coffee table: "Why are you still drinking? If you drink any more, you will almost drink up the cheap ones bought from the supermarket stored in my house. The rest Alcohol is very expensive, do you have enough cash? Although I don’t accept credit cards, I can transfer money via Alipay.”
Sogo: "..."
"Wei Hai said he's leaving the day after tomorrow, and he's leaving Shanghai." Tang Wanru's eyes were crying like peaches, "What do you think Nanxiang should do?"
I looked at the silent Wei Hai, he looked really pitiful.He looked like a frustrated black-backed wolfhound, with his head down and his tail between his legs.It seems that he didn't tell others about his breakup with Nanxiang.
The negative emotions towards Nanxiang that I had just subsided in my heart surged up to the coast like a tide.Countless white bones, wreckage, and filth were all stranded on the beach again, exposed to the moonlight naked.
"Nan Xiang? She and Wei Hai have already broken up, there is nothing to do." Gu Li calmly opened a new bottle of red wine, and the room was filled with an intoxicating fruity aroma.
Wei Hai and Tang Wanru and I raised our heads in surprise at the same time. Although we were shocked for different reasons, our words were surprisingly consistent: "How do you know?"
"When I left the restaurant for dinner, I went to the front desk on the first floor to change the invoice, so I was a little late. When I went out, I saw Nan Xiang getting into Gu Zhun's car. The two of them should be together now." Gu Li poured out The glass was full, and I took a big sip by myself.
"Getting in the car doesn't mean we're together, I've even ridden in Neil's car!" Tang Wanru retorted unwillingly, and Neil next to him was terrified.
"Then did you kiss the back of the head with Neil for 30 seconds in Neil's car?" Gu Li rolled her eyes, the corners of her mouth curled up in disdain, revealing her sharp canine teeth.
Everyone was silent.In the silent silence, Tang Wanru couldn't help letting out a slight sob.
"It's okay, I will come back to see you often." Wei Hai raised his head, smiled, took the wine bottle, and poured himself another glass. He was already drunk, I think he just wanted to drink himself up It's just more thorough, "And now that the Internet is so developed, mobile phones, text messages, E-mail, and a lot of Michat, WeChat, facetime, etc. that I don't understand."
"Cheers." Chong Guang walked over from the opposite sofa and raised his shaking glass.
All of us got drunk that night.Gu Li giggled and rushed to the bedroom, moved her old record player to the living room, and she emptied out that huge antique-like vinyl record, so amidst the creaking noise, Feng Feifei's familiar voice embraced tightly again live us.
Let youth blow your long hair and let it lead your dreams.
Before you know it, the history of this world has remembered your smile.
The red and blue sky in the heart is the beginning of life.
The melody of that era is so nice, and their voices are so pure.In the era that was far away, there was no electronic cloud that exploded every day, and there was no noisy and restless radio wave that traveled through the sky. We stayed by the desk with a single lamp. For so many nights, the diaries we wrote, the letterheads we wrote, they fell asleep In the river of time.
In that era, there were no chaotic nightclubs, bars, and KTVs. We always held ink-scented novels in our lonely nights, and projected our lives into strange stories amidst tears and laughter.The silence outside the window allows our sensitive and young hearts to capture any slight sound, the sound of the dense rain and your call to me, all clearly audible at night.
But now, night after night, we are shouting hysterically at the mobile phone on the busy street or in the bar with loud music, but we still can't hear each other's voice.
Take a look at me, don't let the confidante keep her pillow empty.
Youth, no regrets, eternal lover.
At that time, when we missed each other, we would wear gloves and ride bicycles in winter, and ran to see him.Standing downstairs in his house, crying and laughing, hugging him, nothing is enough.It was like wanting to hug him into my chest, otherwise my heart would not be settled.We stayed in the mail room at the school gate, lying on the window sill every day, waiting to see if our name was written on the small blackboard inside to remind us to receive mail.
And now, in the future, and in a longer future, maybe we can only type out the three words "Are you there" coldly on the dialog box of QQ or MSN, these three words are like falling into the bottomless abyss. Like a stone, there was no echo.On the cold monitor screen, there is only our own cold and blank face.
I was indeed drunk, but I didn't feel bad. It felt like the comfortable and lazy state when I just took cold medicine. I didn't have anything in my mind, but I felt inexplicably happy, and then suddenly sad.
After Gu Li drank, she ran to the toilet and vomited. I followed and flushed my face under the faucet. She took off her pants and sat on the toilet in front of me. She really didn't treat me like an outsider.She stood up from the toilet and quickly pressed the flush button, but I still glanced unconsciously. The bloody water stayed for less than two seconds before disappearing into the sewer.
I opened the mirror cabinet, pulled out a sanitary napkin and threw it to her.
My last memory is of me lying on the sofa with my head resting on Sogo's lap.He leaned down and looked at me very, very closely and kissed me.
His pupils filled again with that sweet and sad, hot and strong syrup.He looked at me like a brush covered with hot wax, licking slowly across my face. I was hot and confused by this licking.I finally lost consciousness in his fierce breath.
I didn't realize that our disaster—yes, that disaster that had been brewing for five full years finally kicked off the much-anticipated scarlet curtain.
The light of the bayonet, the sound of the barrel, and the anxious and crazy eyes of the audience are woven with bloodthirsty hunger for souls.
Yeah, I've waited too long, and it's finally here.Cheers.
To greet the morning of destruction the next day.
(End of this chapter)
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