As soon as I speak, I can convince everyone

Chapter 7 Talking is worse than talking less, and talking less is worse than talking well (1)
Use some psychology like Jack Ma, and become friends with strangers in 5 minutes
Compliments that exceed expectations are the best
When you talk to someone, you talk about your heart. If you want to get into the other person's heart, you must not only let him feel that you have enough respect for him, but also let him understand that you appreciate him very much.At this time, it is very important to praise others.

A compliment can melt a cold heart, or make a stranger smile at you.As the saying goes, a good word warms the winter three times, and words of praise can make the listener feel happy.However, there is also a degree of grasping that should be paid attention to here.

Praise must come from the heart to be powerful. If it is the kind of false praise, it is better not to have it.In addition, when complimenting others, don't say it casually, but speak to the point.For example, everyone is willing to hear others say that they are beautiful, but if the other party is a very ordinary-looking person who knows that they are very ordinary-looking, it seems a bit fake to praise them for being beautiful.At this time, you can start from the temperament and demeanor, and praise them for their extraordinary temperament or demeanor, so that it will be effective.

Even if it is praise, it must be used properly to show its true effect.Below is a report about Ma Yun. Let's see how Ma Yun praises others.

In 2007, Jack Ma attended the annual Internet conference.At the meeting, Jack Ma expressed his gratitude to Taobao users.He said that the growth of Taobao is inseparable from the countless small websites and Taobao sellers.Ma Yun said frankly that when Taobao was just starting out, it competed with Ebay, and the other party tried to kill Taobao in the cradle, and prevented Taobao from placing advertisements on the portal through an exclusive agreement.In order to survive, Taobao can only think of other ways.And one of the very important ones is to place advertisements on the "rural areas of the Internet", that is, small and medium-sized websites.Ma Yun said: "Therefore, Taobao has today, and we must not forget the fellow villagers who helped us in 'Jinggangshan' and 'Yan'an' back then. It is their support that made us today."

Ma Yun believes that China's Internet and the world's Internet should not be monopolized by large websites, otherwise it will violate the spirit of the Internet.Alimama (Alimama is a brand-new Internet advertising trading platform under Alibaba) is to discover the value of small and medium-sized websites and cultivate them into future international websites in China.

At the meeting, Jack Ma also praised Yahoo China's search team for its great contribution to Alimama's success.Ma Yun said that he will never forget the elite team that Yahoo sent to Hangzhou to support Alimama. It can be said that they were the first to participate in Alimama's back-end system and research and development and played a great role.As an open and transparent online advertising platform for small and medium-sized enterprises, the precise matching of advertisements is the core value and the most concerned issue for advertisers. The best technical solution to this problem is naturally search.Therefore, the original Yahoo support team really helped Ali's mother a lot.

Jack Ma's praise is sincere.From this, we can feel full of sincerity, and we can be sure that he is sincerely grateful for the help of others, and he is also sincerely grateful for this era.Of course, he also often sincerely praises the actions of the people around him and his colleagues, and praises that this era has provided him with so many opportunities.

Some people often fall into a misunderstanding, that is, when talking with people, they are always afraid of being looked down upon by the other party, so they keep showing themselves, boasting how good they are and what impressive achievements they have achieved.They have always been intoxicated in their own world, and never praise the person on the other side who listens to them.I thought that in this way the other party would recognize me and feel that I was great.As everyone knows, this is often the worst course of action.

People go to communicate for the purpose of proving themselves and making friends, not to find idols.If you show yourself everywhere and want to make the other party worship you, you will inevitably fail.Only by giving compliments to each other and making them feel that we appreciate them, can the distance between each other be shortened and the hearts of two people come together.

Sincerely praising others is not hypocrisy, but a kind of appreciation and recognition of others.But also pay attention to a degree, don't say too much exaggeration, give people a false impression, if that is the case, it is better not to praise.There is no uniform standard for most things. The main thing to look at is whether it is suitable. As long as it is suitable and controlled within the degree, it is good.

If you stand in the ranks of the criticized, your honest words will not hurt your ears

Most of the loyal words are harsh, but a master speaker can make the words not harsh, at least not so harsh.To do this, it depends on the skills.

Generally speaking, even the truth that may embarrass the other party can be expressed in a good way to make the other party less embarrassed.The most important point of this is a matter of posture. Don't think that we are better than the other party or that it is good for the other party on a certain issue, so we don't care about anything and teach others with a superior attitude.Or in a negative tone, tell the other party that what they are doing now is meaningless, and their previous efforts have no effect.Such an approach is inappropriate.Although we have good intentions and are indeed helpful to each other, we still need to pay attention to some strategies so that the other party will not reject us so much.

On September 2011, 9, at the Eighth Internet Business Conference, Jack Ma delivered a keynote speech.Among them is the part about "faithfulness". Let's quote a passage to see how Ma Yun said "loyalty" without harshness.

We must always know that in the ecosystem, it is not others who defeat us but our stubborn thinking.It's not that your opponent kills you, but you kill yourself.To return to yourself, no matter how big your business is today, you must always know who you are, why you want what you want and what you give up. It is impossible to think clearly about these issues.

In shopping malls, you don't win if you don't beat your opponents, because there are too many opponents.For this land to have biodiversity, we must allow all kinds of online businesses and competitors to grow on it.Competition is to make me perfect and let me grow.I like competition very much. When I hear "competition", I feel happy.What is the competition compared to?The comparison is how to improve oneself more happily than the opponent, and how to make the opponent more and more annoyed and unhappy.Those who fight don't get angry, those who fight don't get angry, and those who get angry don't fight.

Learning to get along with opponents is the most powerful thing.When a lion eats a sheep, it is definitely not because he hates the sheep, but because he has to eat it.Defeating the opponent is definitely not because of how powerful we are, but because the opponent's stubborn and self-styled thinking, unwilling to improve himself, makes him lose his future.So I think, only win-win, only play with the opponent, and live well can be considered a win.Antelopes don't live long without lions, so don't hate your opponents.

The above speech by Ma Yun is also "persuading" and "educating" others, but it feels very good, and it will not arouse displeasure or resentment at all.

The reason for this is that Ma Yun changed the angle very well.He did not teach others from the perspective of a bystander, but expressed it from the perspective of "we", so as not to embarrass the other party, nor to make the other party feel that he is inferior to others.

This change of angle can make the other party feel that we are with him and are equal, instead of teaching him as his teacher, so naturally he is more willing to accept it.

What's more, Ma Yun didn't directly state the truth, but gave examples to illustrate, which is more vivid.At the same time, the other party will also explore the truth by participating in the interpretation of the story. They will feel that part of the truth they understand is conveyed to him by us, and part of it is his own experience from the story.In this way, although they are accepting help or preaching from others, at least they can get a little sense of accomplishment from it.As a result, there will be no loss and resentment, so we will not feel that our faithful words are harsh.

There is a skill in everything. Even loyal words do not necessarily have to be harsh, as long as they are well said, loyal words can also be pleasant to the ear. The key depends on how we express them.

Helping a friend is a pleasant thing, but if you make the other party feel a little disgusted in the process of helping because of your lack of expression skills, it will be unpleasant, and it will cause a lot of unnecessary troubles.Therefore, we must try to learn how to speak honest words without hurting our ears.

Incorporate ideas into speech, and it will naturally be charming
What a person can say depends on what is in his eyes.Those who surprise every time they open their mouths are because they have a clear head and can see places that others cannot see.You can only have it in your mouth if you have it in your heart.

Therefore, if you want to make yourself more intelligent, enable yourself to often speak amazing words, and be able to give others directions, you must constantly enrich yourself so that you have the ability to see the essence.

Only when you have the truth in your chest can you learn from the real world, and you can say something with your mouth.A person who has no reserves of knowledge and the ability to discern the essence can only speak innocuous and empty words.

When Ma Yun was a guest on the "Dialogue" column, he once answered a question from the host very wisely. From this, we can see Ma Yun's knowledge reserve and ability to penetrate the essence.

Moderator: This is definitely a savvy consumer, but I found her in the online world, she cares more about price than quality.

Jack Ma: Little girls born in the 90s are hard to fool.Now it is very difficult to deceive people like Wang Jianlin. If we really see these young people, this is the hope of China's domestic demand. The elderly have no domestic demand, and successful people do not spend money.People who really want to be successful will spend money. China's biggest domestic demand lies in the change of lifestyle and the change of young people's consumption.Online shopping is cheap, not because we are cheap, but because traditional shopping malls are too expensive.It costs 500 yuan online and 5000 yuan in traditional shopping malls.The 500 yuan in the shopping mall has changed to 5000 yuan. It is the land or the real estate. They are too dark, not because we are too cheap.China’s online shopping is so big today, one billion items, one trillion in sales, you go to Guangdong, when you went to Guangdong a few years ago, you only sold 70 billion a year in Guangdong or online, this year Guangdong through Taobao 1 billion from January to October.Many manufacturing enterprises in Guangdong, in the past, had no orders abroad for the products they processed after the financial crisis. The large production capacity of these factories was directly sold online. Selling, consumers are also happy.

The reason why Ma Yun was able to make the company so big, and the reason why he often speaks amazingly, is that he can see the essence of things.It can be seen from this conversation that Jack Ma knows his customers very well.He knows which group is his user, and what kind of consumption habits these users have.Knowing these things makes sense.

(End of this chapter)