I don't like the world, I only like you

Chapter 19

001
My mother-in-law is a very funny person, Mr. F always said that I am very similar to his mother, did I say it was because we both like to tease you?
Mr. F used to have a "gossip girlfriend" who was the daughter of their neighbor. The mother-in-law's greatest entertainment was to tease her son.He always said, "Why don't you go play with my daughter-in-law?"

At the beginning Mr. F justified: "Don't talk nonsense."

"Isn't my daughter-in-law her? Don't you have someone else?"

"no!"

"Then it's just her."

"..."

I took Mr. F to buy clothes, but I couldn’t decide between the two colors. The mother-in-law said: "I want blue, my daughter-in-law should like blue."

Jun F was speechless: "Who is your daughter-in-law, why don't I know."

Later, when I went to their house to play, my mother-in-law heard about the "adultery". Every year, the parents' meeting is the most thrilling moment for Mr. F.

My mother-in-law was very happy to see my mother: "I'm going to say hello to my mother-in-law."

"do not want!"

"Then I'll go say hello to my daughter-in-law."

"do not want!"

"Son, you can't do this."

Even Mr. F's father, who has a lot of things to do every day, talked to Mr. F: "I am not completely opposed to puppy love, but you have to stop it."

F is crazy, I don't have puppy love!It's your wife who should stop it!

002
Talking about the topic of having a child, I said: "If I have a child in the future, I don't want him to be rich and powerful, I just hope that he will be a happy person."

The mother-in-law said: "Well, what did I think when I was pregnant with F, I didn't expect anything, only one thing."

"what?"

"It must be handsome."

"..."

She showed me the photos of F when she was a child, and said, "I have always suspected that F was picked up wrongly in the hospital."

"What?"

"How can my character give birth to a stuffy bottle?"

"He...inherited from his father."

"After he went to school, I became even more skeptical."

"What?"

"How could my son study so well?"

"..."

She flipped through the photos and muttered to herself: "But such a handsome son, no one can give birth to him except me."

"..."

003
Mr. F said that his biggest wish when he was a child was to get out of his mother's "clutch".

I asked why?He recalled with grief and indignation, "My mother is the most controlling person I have ever met. She would intervene in everything from my childhood, from what school I went to to what socks I wore the next day. The clothes I wear every day, from inside to outside, from head to toe, she gets angry when I don’t wear them according to her requirements, it’s terrible, how on earth does my dad put up with her?”

Me: "How I put up with you, that's how my father-in-law put up with my mother-in-law."

he:"……"

Me: "You said she knew what your reaction would be?"

Him: "Kill me."

Me: "Very good, you have the handle in my hand, I have already recorded it."

he:"……"

004
F's nephew, a top student, came to Beijing to play during the summer vacation and stayed with us for a while.

The little nephew is very obedient. He gets up at [-] o'clock every morning, recites vocabulary for half an hour and practices calligraphy for half an hour.

I asked F: "You were like this when you were young?"

F nodded: "All the children in our family are like this."

I yelled: "Then why do you sleep until the sun rises on weekends and ask me to bring breakfast to bed? What about the traditional virtues of your family?!"

He smiled shyly: "There is no way, those who are close to vermilion are red and those who are close to ink are black."

005
I like my little nephew very much. I buy all the delicious and interesting things I see when I go shopping for him.One day he suddenly said to me: "Don't buy me anything anymore."

I asked why.

"As much as I love it, I always feel like I'm gnawing on the old," he said.

I spit out, boy, that's really not the way to use the word.

006
After getting acquainted with my little nephew, he was finally willing to confide his heart to me.

"There is a girl in our class who always steals things."

"Huh?! What did she steal?"

"A lot, my student ID card, my homework book, my access control card..."

"Wait, did she take everyone's or just yours?"

"Only took mine."

I laughed out loud, "My little girl likes you!"

The little nephew blushed, "She always...does strange things."

"is it beautiful?"

"I don't think so, but many boys in our class like her."

"How do you like it?"

He was silent, blushing and didn't speak. After a long time, the young and mature nephew rested his chin and sighed, "But... I'm worried that she won't be able to keep up with me."

I spit out another mouthful of water, squinting at F, "Do all your kids look like this?"

He hastily said, "I don't."

007
My little nephew asked me: "Why don't you and Uncle F want children?"

Me: "Uh... because we are all busy now and don't have time to take care of the children."

"But you took good care of me."

I was relieved to be a mother and said to him: "If I have a child in the future, you should take care of him like I take care of you."

"Okay!" He hooked me, "I will definitely love your daughter very much."

"Why a daughter? Can't a son?"

"My mother said that daughters are more like fathers, so you must have a daughter who looks like Uncle F."

I almost forgot that this guy is an uncle...

008
In fact, I think my little nephew is quite pitiful. He lacked a childhood of unrestrained play, only books that were so heavy that he had to be dragged in a trolley case and countless cram schools.

He secretly told me that he likes being with me.What am I asking?He said it was fun.

Our home is simply a paradise for children, if you want to eat in bed, OK!Want to lie down and watch TV, OK!I want to pile up my summer homework until the last day, OK!I want to go to McDonald's to eat French fries at eleven o'clock in the evening, OK!I want to write a love letter to a beautiful female classmate, OK!
F said to me sadly: "He will be used by you to become a devil in the world."

I said, "Would you like to interview the Demon King of Confusion, he must be happier than a nerd."

Why are so many adults keen to train their children into a standard product produced in a workshop, at the expense of children's imagination, creativity and independent thinking ability.

009
Every year when I go back to my hometown during the Chinese New Year, the whole family has a must-have entertainment item-laugh at me who can't play mahjong.

In their eyes, not knowing how to play mahjong is a great shame. During the holidays, after dinner, the mahjong table is set up, and everyone sits on the table, leaving me alone on the sofa to play with the children silently. It was established in this way, other adults are playing mahjong, only I am willing to accompany him.

My little nephew asked me, "Why don't you play mahjong with them?"

I said: "Because I want to accompany you, otherwise you would be so boring."

Someone next to me ruthlessly exposed me, "Because she is stupid."

I:"……"

"I just don't bother to learn."

Someone: "That's poor learning ability."

I:"……"

Mother F: "Don't pay attention to him, you go after this lap."

Someone stopped immediately: "No, no matter how much I win, I won't be able to get her back."

I:"……"

010
I went to see Li Zongsheng's concert with him, the name is "Since Youth Can't Be Keep", this name is really sad.

At the scene, Lao Li teased, "Let's sing together when you open your voice, although... Maybe the person who listened to this song with you back then is not the person next to you." The audience burst into laughter.

On the way back, I asked him which song Lao Li liked the most.He thought for a while, and said: ""I Really Love You", during the years when I was studying outside, I dare not listen to this song."

I made up my mind about the late night when he was alone in a foreign country, and I burst into tears when I heard "I was wronged for love once, and I can no longer avoid it. Since then, you have become the most beautiful miracle in my life. I think I really love you." The scene, can't help feeling sad.

"Does this song speak from your heart?"

"kindness."

"You want me to sing it to you, don't you?"

"No."

"what?"

"When I listened to it, I thought, I must force you to sing to me in the future."

"..."

My friend, shall we follow the normal routine?It's not easy for me to accept the scene if you change the lines casually.

011
The company organized a trip to Thailand, and it happened that Mr. F had a week's vacation, so he followed along carrying a suitcase.

This guy is a very boring person. No matter where he travels, he does not go to scenic spots or take pictures. The range of activities will not exceed 100m from the hotel. He can sit in the coffee shop for an entire afternoon. I asked him to ride an elephant. He thinks it is dirty. I took him to see a temple, he said he didn’t believe in Buddhism, and asked him what he wanted to eat, he thought about it seriously: I want to eat sliced ​​boiled pork...

I also really convinced him.

I couldn't bear to see him come all the way here to be alone, so I canceled the trip. When he got up in the morning, he saw that I hadn't left and asked, "Where are you going today?"

I said, "I'm not going anywhere, I'll be with you."

He was very happy, and led me downstairs to drink coffee.

My colleague came back from playing around and found that we were sitting face to face, one was reading the newspaper and the other was catching up on the manuscript.The colleague shook his head and said, "You are definitely the most boring couple in history."

Nonsense, I am obviously very interesting!They were all killed by him!

012
I found out that Mr. F's intelligence fluctuates up and down, depending on his mood. When he is in a good mood, his IQ returns to the infant stage.

He is in a very good mood when he comes out to play with me, from Mr. F to F kid.

Child F had a Thai massage at the hotel last night, and it was so refreshing. When he came back, he pulled me and said, "You can learn from others, and you will help me massage every day after I get off work."

I smiled and said: "Okay, then I will resign immediately, and I will come to work in the hotel tomorrow, and I will practice with 100 first."

He was furious: "No! How can you press someone else!"

Me: "Didn't you ask me to learn from others?"

He thought about it angrily for a long time, and finally said with infinite regret: "Forget it, don't learn it..."

I smiled very satisfied, turned off the lights and went to sleep.

After a while, I suddenly said, "I think I should treat you better."

He asked, "Why?"

Me: "Caring for mentally handicapped youth is everyone's responsibility."

013
One advantage of taking him out is that there is no need for a map. This guy has a GPS system in his brain. No matter where he goes, he can find the way back to our hotel accurately.

I went out to the night market with my colleagues and got lost, and the two stared at each other.I said, "I'll ask our guide dog."

The colleague was shocked: "Did you bring out the guide dog?"

I nodded and sent a WeChat message, and Mr. F's voice came two seconds later: "Lost again?"

Colleagues laughed.

Since then, Mr. F's glorious image in the eyes of his colleagues has been ruined.

Our daily ridicule became, she: "Why don't you bring Mr. F out?"

Me: "He's lying on his stomach in the coffee shop."

She: "You have to take him out for a walk often."

Me: "I'll buy him a Frisbee and play on his own."

……

Somebody doesn't know about this yet, if they know it, they will kill me.

014
Going to see a ladyboy show, asked Mr. F if he would go, and shook his head, "I'm not interested in watching men."

I raised my eyebrows: "Are you interested in seeing women? Did you miss other women while I was away?"

He didn't change his face: "I'm only interested in seeing my woman, come back early."

This guy is so quick, you can never beat him in bickering.

I saw a beautiful woman in the restaurant, and I was very surprised. I secretly took a photo and sent it to him: "Look at the beautiful woman!"

He replied: "I think the one in the photo is more beautiful."

I held my phone and giggled for a long time, when my colleague stretched out his head to look at it and beat me up. "You actually said that he can't talk sweetly, he is the best of the best!"

015
Mr. F always has some strange insistence.

For example, he resolutely refuses to take medicine for a cold. He firmly believes that drinking more water and exercising will heal well.

"You've been sneezing for a week, take your medicine now!"

"If you don't eat, you'll be fine." He said calmly with a mask on.

Another week and he's still sneezing.

"If you continue like this, I will take you to the hospital."

"No, it will be fine."

It was another week, and he still didn't take medicine. I asked why, and he said, "My grandma is a doctor."

"and then?"

"She told me since she was a child that medicine has side effects, and people who are resistant to it will be better by drinking more water and exercising."

I slapped it across the face, "Did the grandma tell you that if you don't listen to your wife, you will die a miserable death!"

016
I woke up hungry on Saturday morning and remembered that there was cheese in the refrigerator. I asked Mr. F if he wanted to eat it, and he nodded.I asked him to get it, a certain slacker didn't want to move, and wanted to rock-paper-scissors with me.I lost and didn't want to move.

We dawdled for 10 minutes, and finally decided to continue to sleep hungry. He sighed: "It's time to give birth to a baby and come out to us..."

After I made up my head with black lines, the child asked me: "Mom, why did you give birth to me?"

Answer: Because my parents are too lazy, someone has to do the housework.

017
After cleaning at home, the sky was washed blue and blue after the shower, and the white clouds were boundless.After I finished drying the clothes, I lay down on MUJI's lazy sofa with the watermelon in my arms and ate it spoonful by spoonful.The summer cicadas were buzzing on the branches, the wind on the clouds was blowing gently, and my back was warmed by the sun. I was in a very good mood.

I suddenly said: "When I was young, my mother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up."

"How do you answer?" he asked.

"I said, I want to bask in the sun and eat watermelon."

He laughed out loud.

"Really, I like this. Sunshine, floor-to-ceiling windows, clean clothes, nothing urgent to do, and I can eat watermelon and read books all afternoon."

"that's it?"

I turned around and he was looking at me.

I smiled and said: "And you, you are my favorite in this world."

(End of this chapter)