Even the whole world is trying to match us up

Chapter 101 Emotion 2
"No, it's not right no matter how you think about it."

The greedy Natsume Kiyoha couldn't even bother with the fried pork cutlets.

Because now he only feels that his head is itchy.

Either it's going to grow a brain, or it's going to grow the grass on top of the slow sheep's head.

Why the rage? Of course it’s because of anger! Why is the logic reversed?

"Shouldn't it be because the child is disobedient that he chooses to get angry?" Natsume Qingyu scratched his head and asked.

"Under normal circumstances, it would be very disappointing to go out to play and have Coke spilled all over you." Seeing the confused look of the young man, Hatsukano Suzune didn't move the knife and fork at all and shook her head slowly.

"Yes, that's right."

Natsume Qingyu nodded, unable to deny this.

Although he didn't get angry, that didn't mean he wanted it to happen.

"Then let me ask you, Club Member Natsume, why aren't you angry?"

Things seem to be back to square one again.

Natsume Qingyu tried his best to recover his surprise and answered rationally:
"Even if I don't reprimand him loudly, he will apologize for me and take corresponding remedial measures out of guilt. What's more, it's my fault that the Coke is not put away."

"In other words, this matter is not worth your anger and anger." Hatsukano Suzune summed it up cleverly.

"..."

Natsume Kiyoha didn't know what to say for a while, but after a while he asked again: "Assuming that nothing is worth getting angry about, what is the meaning of anger in reality?"

"Have you seen "Animal World"?" Hatsugano Suzune ignored his words and asked softly.

"affim."

Compared to "The Legend of Zhen Huan", Natsume Kiyoha preferred to watch "Natural Legend" when he was a child.

He still remembers an episode called "Smart Pig".

There is a pig living in Australia that can even hang on trees with its tusks to sleep.

He was so shocked that he imitated the situation and turned his whole body upside down on the sofa.

His parents said he looked like a carrot growing in the field.

But he was imagining that he was a pig, a pig so carefree that it could hang upside down from a tree.

Now it seems that I was really a smart pig at that time.

What a black history!
"Question: Under what circumstances would a beast roar loudly?" Suzune Hatsugano suddenly stretched out a slender white index finger.

A sense of déjà vu came over me. Fortunately, this was Natsume Qingyu's area of ​​expertise.

"Answer: scare the enemy away from your territory. Or scare the tribesmen and lead them."

When beasts of prey approach their prey, they do so very quietly and silently.

They will roar only when facing 'enemies' invading their own territory. They will always use powerful roars to try to create an atmosphere that will overwhelm you and make you fearful.

Of course, there are also some beasts whose howls are signals to convey a certain command, such as wolves.

"Very good, then why do you think people get angry and reprimand others loudly?" Hatsugano Suzune smiled slightly.

"Trying to scare others to achieve your own goals?"

Natsume Qingyu followed the logic of the previous language and gave an incredible answer.

"So that parent is trying to use a loud voice to scare his children so that they listen to him?" His eyes gradually opened.

Because you need to be furious to be furious!

Is it true that emotionally stable people don’t get angry?
Not necessarily, it's just because they feel in their hearts that this 'angry' thing is not worth getting angry about.

Things have happened, and they want to get a solution. Even if they communicate softly, they can get the results they want.

If this method still fails to achieve the goal, it is useless to get angry, and even a bad attitude will bring some unnecessary trouble.

If that doesn't work, you can try to use the power of social resources and legal 'force'.

Like calling a lawyer, calling the police, etc.

Humans are social animals, and it would be foolish to try to solve everything emotionally.

Unlike hot-blooded anime movies, those who succeed in social reality are often those who are unusually calm.

Thinking of this, Natsume Qingyu thought that he had become greater again.

Pick up the grilled salmon with chopsticks and quickly throw it into your mouth like a machine.

The food appearance is very heroic, eating for the sake of eating.

Mainly because we chatted for too long and the grilled salmon was a bit cold.

Taking advantage of the little remaining warmth, he wanted to make a quick decision.

"As expected of my club member." Hatsukano Suzune glanced at Natsume Kiyoha who was devouring his food.

"I'll take this as a compliment."

Natsume Qingha stuffed the last piece of fried pork chop into his mouth, his cheeks were bulging, but his expression was very serious, "However, after listening to what you said, I feel that I don't like Adler's teleology too much. This kind of attributing the motivation of anger to the angry person is like making excuses for other people's faults. In a sense, it confuses right and wrong and lacks certain rationality."

After hearing what the boy said, Hatsukano Suzune didn't rush to speak. Instead, she clenched her hands and fell into silence.

What Natsume-san said makes sense.

Psychology has never been a pleasant and relaxing pastime, but when a person is in the mood for entertainment, it is as happy as learning magic.

That must be a misunderstanding of Adler's psychology.

Whenever a person says that his life suddenly becomes enlightened after seeing a psychology joke, there is a high probability that he has misunderstood it as 'psychological magic'.

Psychology is not mind reading, nor can it change a person's will instantly.

All it can achieve is to slowly untie someone's knot in a clever way.

It is a very serious matter. It does not mean that you can see through people's hearts just because you have read a few books on it.

The human heart is like an onion, and psychology is like a knife.

The deeper you dig, the hotter it will be and the more tears you will cry.

A few books are not enough to wipe away tears.

Adlerian psychology clearly denies the rationality of the existence of psychological trauma and mental illness.

And instead pointed out.

It is not our past experiences that define us, but the meaning we give to our experiences.

Life is not determined by others, but chosen by your own mentality.

Like a child who has closed his heart.

People often think.

It is precisely because he has experienced painful abuse that he is afraid of being hurt again and chooses to refuse social interaction, lock himself in his home, and become unable to adapt to society.

This is very normal logic.

But Adler's teleological point of view attempts to overturn it and overturn a popular perception.

It blames children who are subjected to domestic violence or school bullying and stay home because they don't want to go out.

In other words, it has nothing to do with the experience, it is the victim who chooses to escape.

His purpose is also very simple. As long as he behaves abnormally, he may get reflection from his parents or society.

Received a lot of attention and care that I never had.

Furthermore, in today's society, children often cry out about "running away from home" after having a big quarrel with their parents.

But is he 'willing' to run away from home?

The answer must be no.

As children, they know deeply that they are not yet capable of surviving in the outside world, and it must be painful in the outside world.

Therefore, the most essential purpose in their hearts is to get an 'apology' or 'care' from their parents. But why are there still children running away from home?
Because the moment they stepped out of the house, a subtle change occurred in their inner feelings.

From 'unwilling to leave home' to 'as long as he takes the initiative to return home, he has given up'.

To admit defeat means that he has lost all the previous emotional foreshadowing and turned into a clown who 'failed to achieve his goal'.

So they walked aimlessly in the park, along the river embankment, and even went directly to a friend's house to play.

When it gets dark, I start to struggle with the thought of "can I go back?"

Choose to hide in an invisible corner.

That way no one would ask him.

'Child, it's so dark, why don't you go home? '

But in their eyes, adults always stand with them, and they are just disobedient children.

So they don't long for the care of stranger adults, but they still want to get an 'apology' from their parents.

From beginning to end, the person who influences them is always themselves, and it is they who make the choice.

all in all.

Adler's thought points out that individuals living in the world are living to achieve a certain purpose.

Placing all the 'fault' on the victims themselves is indeed an extremely cruel thing to do.

As the saying goes.

Comforting lies won't hurt, pointing out the truth is the sharpest knife.

but……

"Gentle Natsume-san, I can understand your thinking. It is indeed a bit offensive to deny the meaning of the past. But if we always rely on the theory of causes and use it to explain things, then people will slowly fall into 'determinism' If you are in such a state, your mentality will become stagnant.”

Hatsukano Suzune slowed down her speech and looked at Natsume Qingha steadily, "The past that has happened cannot be undone, and the only one who can change it is yourself. We need a positive and reasonable reason to help people get out of psychological trauma, rather than letting them Trapped in suffering. Our 'purpose' is good, not limited to the past and actively changing the present."

It's similar to the way she always follows the principle of 'fall in love with yourself first, then you can fall in love with the world'.

"That's right." Natsume Qingyu glanced at Tamagoyaki in front of him and nodded to express his understanding.

Since it is a recognized discipline, even if it is controversial, it will still have certain functionality.

If the medicine is 30% poisonous, then 70% of the therapeutic effect can be used.

He suddenly raised his head and smiled.

"Instead of studying psychology by yourself through boring books, it is more interesting to hear the knowledge of psychology from the mouths of beautiful girls."

"When the summer training camp is over, I will buy a psychology book and read it." Natsume Kiyoha then added.

"Natsume-san, don't you think it's contradictory to what you just said?" Hatsukano Suzune frowned and corrected the question.

"...is there any?"

Natsume Qingyu pretended to be confused and stuffed a candy into his mouth, "Oh, it's not conflicting. Of course reading function books is boring."

"Then you don't have to embarrass yourself."

"But that beautiful girl can't always stay by my side and tell me stories."

Hatsukano Suzune turned into a poker face and shouted coldly, quite disdainfully.

"Okay, actually I just want to..." Natsume Qingyu took out a white tissue and wiped his hands, "Next time we talk about this topic, I can also be able to fight."

"..."

Hatsukano Suzune moved her shoulders and returned her gaze to the food, "Since you are a member of my club, I can lend it to you for free."

"Then... it's better to obey orders than to be respectful." Natsume Qingyu's tone gradually became cheerful.

With the topic of psychology at this end, the two began to concentrate on their meal.

But after a while, Natsume Kiyoha announced that his battle was over.

"I'm done eating." He wiped his mouth.

Seeing this, Hatsukano Suzune nodded and whispered:

"Well...I'll try to eat as quickly as possible."

Out of the restraint of a good tutor, she didn't eat at all when she was talking, and her progress naturally dropped.

"I think you misunderstood me."

Hatsukano Suzune raised her head in confusion and opened her eyes slightly.

Across the table, a young man with a warm smile like a spring breeze crossed his hands to support his chin and stared at her intently.

The look in his eyes was completely different from before, calm and a little unpredictable, as if it was the most real look in his heart.

Just by looking at him, there seemed to be an invisible pressure coming over me like a tide.

After a while, the voice sounded again.

"I don't want to rush you, but I want to tell you that I will wait for you next, and you can still enjoy it slowly."

The other party made a very gentlemanly gesture to please use it slowly.

"OK, thanks."

Suzune Hatsukano picked up a piece of vegetables and said unceremoniously, "But can you please take back this gesture? It makes you lose your appetite."

The scene suddenly turned cold.

It was said in a euphemistic way that it was disgusting.

Natsume Qingyu, who came back to his senses, had a black line on his head and an embarrassed smile.

"Sure enough, if you wear multiple hats for a long time, it's really easy to have a split personality."

Flowers, music, the smell of coffee.

Such a suitable atmosphere, once you eat, you will accidentally enter the professional state of the flower field master.

It's as natural as wanting to sleep after eating.

He stretched out his hand to call the previous waiter, pointed to another plate of grilled salmon and said:
"Please reheat her portion of grilled salmon, thank you."

At the beginning of Nanabagosu, Kano Suzune raised her head and looked at the young man who just felt uncomfortable.

There seemed to be some subtle emotion in his eyes.

Is he Natsume Kiyoha or Master Hanada?
"No problem, sir."

Perhaps because of the previous incident, the waiter's attitude was very positive.

I trotted back to the kitchen and soon brought back steaming grilled salmon.

A rich fruit plate was also handed over, which was probably worth a lot of money.

"I didn't order this."

Natsume Qingyu understood very well, but still followed the process.

"Don't worry, sir, there's no charge for this dish."

Seeing that the young man was refusing, the waiter quickly said, "It's mainly to express a little apology for the unpleasant things just now."

"Then I accept it gratefully."

Natsume Qingha's face was filled with sunshine and he was no longer polite.

Accepting other people's wishes when appropriate is also a kind of kindness.

　Thank you to all the families who have read this far!
　　Thanks to [Supreme God Azatos] and [Muguang Traveler] for the reward!

　　Thanks to [Book Friends 20230611131931087] [doge Xian] [Ke Feng] [Book Friends 20230817532-cA] for their monthly votes!

　　Note: This chapter is inspired by Adler's psychology and quotes three ideas from "The Courage to Be Disliked". The rest are extensions of my own ideas, and professional experts are welcome to communicate privately.

　　(Then why I want to write about this psychology, I will know tomorrow.)
　　(I didn’t realize that this idea is very similar to the heroine, the person who influenced me.)
　　
　
(End of this chapter)