Watching in the dark night

Chapter 92 Yu Suan (Part )
  I grew up in a rural family of eight.

Father, mother, us five sisters and the youngest brother.

I am the eldest among the children, so when I was young, I always followed my younger siblings whenever there was something delicious or fun to eat at home.

Of course, our family was very poor and these things were not common, so they were not very attractive to me.

The reason why people suffer is just because they have desires. Those things are just unsatisfying things that I don’t expect or want to have.

My biggest wish is to eat the sesame candy my father bought from town once a month. Although I can only get half a piece each time, I am already very satisfied.

After I graduated from junior high school, my family had no money to support my education, so I wanted to keep the remaining money for more important things.

I knelt outside the door for three days and three nights, not eating a single bite of the food my mother sent me. The few pieces of fat meat that I once had to fight for at the dinner table no longer have that much appeal to me.

If I were not allowed to continue studying, I would rather starve to death at home.

My father was helpless, and my mother kept crying beside me because she felt sorry for me. He finally agreed to let me finish high school and never care about me again.

I got the good news after I fainted for the third time, and that night I cleared away all the food that wasn't completely spoiled.

It can't be wasted. I have to eat well so that I have the energy to continue doing what I want to do!

The three years of high school passed very quickly, but they were also very happy! Swimming in the ocean of knowledge, I feel that I am not poor, and I am extremely rich inside.

However, after receiving the university acceptance letter, I was brought back to reality!
  I was really poor and couldn't even pay for college tuition. My father no longer cares about me, but I don’t want to drop out of school and go home to farm.

He often smoked cigarettes, pointed at me and said: "Your sisters can stay at home and farm the land after graduating from junior high school, and wait to marry into a good family. Only you are more expensive? What's the use of reading so many shabby books?" Besides teaching you selfishness, what else has it taught you?”

I would like to say that it taught me a lot. For example, if you want to live the life you want, you can only rely on your own efforts.

If you want to study, of course you do!

So I left home and chose to work a summer job to earn money for school.

No matter how much my father scolded me behind his back, telling me not to return to this home in the future and to break away from my father-daughter relationship, I never looked back at the door of my home.

I don't want to live this kind of life for a second longer, getting slapped by my father for half a piece of sesame candy, just because my little brother wanted it from me after eating it, but I didn't give it to him.

I chose the university city where I applied, found a job that provided accommodation, and concentrated on working during the summer to earn tuition.

Because I work without taking any breaks, I was appreciated by the store manager. She loaned me tuition out of her own pocket, so I finally collected the tuition for the first semester before school started!

After entering college, I feel like I have entered a new world! There are people of all kinds from all over the world. Some of them are brightly dressed, and some of them come from poor rural areas like me.

But everyone has the same purpose, to strive to make themselves better!

I was studying, working late nights, and working part-time as a tutor on weekends. In fact, I am very envious when I see my roommates participating in clubs one by one and learning things that interest them.

But I can’t, I don’t have time, I have to make money! I am very satisfied with this life now!
  Because of the university I attended, it was ranked high in the city. So after graduation I immediately found a good job and met my ex-husband.

He.is a very good person. He has a good family background, excellent character, and is a senior executive of the company. For such an unmarried man with excellent conditions in all aspects, many girls in the company like him very much.

But he chose me, a person who didn't even dare to say a few words to him.

Although I did very well in college, my birth made me suffer from low self-esteem. But he never seemed to pay attention to this. Whenever I mentioned my family and I didn't want to say more, he would always change the subject with a smile.

After a few years of dating, he proposed to me. When he mentioned that he wanted to visit my home, I hesitated for a long time and agreed to it.

I will regret this decision until my death! I often think that it would have been better if I had married him directly and not brought him home.

But where in this world can there be any regret medicine?

I took him back to his hometown, and he didn't express any opinions about that backward and dilapidated place.

When my father and mother saw him coming, after asking him about his situation, they smiled so much that there were several creases on their faces.

I sat silently, watching him humbly chatting with my parents, but my heart was filled with fear.

Sure enough, after the wedding. All the relatives in my family, whether I know them or not, all know that I went to a big city and found a good husband.

The attitude of my parents and siblings towards me has also changed greatly.

From that time on, every once in a while, I would always receive a call from my father or mother.

They didn't care about how I was doing, but they wanted me to help a daughter of one of her older cousins ​​get a job in this city.

Or, if one of my unknown brothers or sisters wants to come here to play, we, as a couple, can help play with them.

I felt exhausted and extremely irritable.

Although he didn't say anything, after this happened more and more, he would inevitably frown slightly when he answered my mother's phone call.

These things happened all the time when I was pregnant.

I sometimes wonder, do we really have that many relatives in our family? Why was it that during the Chinese New Year in the past, there were always eight of us celebrating the Chinese New Year at home, without even seeing a few people?

Finally one day, when I was pregnant and had to accompany my so-called distant cousin to find a job, I was completely angry!

I called my mother to tell her that I didn’t want to be disturbed during my pregnancy. She was already having a severe reaction and would vomit after taking only two steps.

But she only wanted to clarify to me the relationship between our family and that distant cousin, and asked me to pay attention to my attitude. They didn't even ask me if I felt uncomfortable with morning sickness.

My ex-husband finally couldn't bear it anymore and said that he took his distant cousin out for an interview and asked me to have a good rest at home. I couldn't let my body collapse because of an outsider!

I felt very guilty. He came back very late that night and his expression was not very good, which made me even more embarrassed.

He quickly got up and helped him boil water to soak his feet and make delicious food! Keep asking him if it’s hard!
  He was silent for a while, shook his head and replied, then went to take a shower with a complicated expression.

Within a few months, I was divorced. a week after i gave birth
  (End of this chapter)