monster's bride

"Am I ugly! Am I ugly!" Wang Hui's hand that had been behind her back suddenly took out a pair of big scissors.

The scissors, a tool that had never appeared in the house before, the tip of the knife used by tailors to cut cloth, was inserted directly into Dr. Shao's neck.

He hurriedly tried to escape, screamed miserably, covered his neck and rushed towards the bathroom door. Wang Hui, who was clearly behind him, appeared out of thin air at the bathroom door the next second and blocked the road.

She kept waving the scissors and piercing his body, so crazy and extreme that her eyeballs fell out.

"It's all your fault, it's all my fault, it's all your fault, it's all your fault for turning my face like this, it's all your fault!"

Suddenly, the entire bathroom and even the ceiling were splattered with blood.

It's two days before the new year.

Lu Zhizhi went to the hospital for a psychiatric examination again.

After observing her condition and questioning her this time, the doctor further conducted a detailed examination on her and found that the diagnosis was not satisfactory.

Although she took her medicine on time, the subtle changes in her mood and psychology were detected by doctors, and the situation became more serious.

To say that it was just excessive fear that led to neurasthenia before, after experiencing a series of events, she was subtly amplified by the ugly dark side of her heart and put it on the bright side.

"When you see a person being killed, what's your first thought?"

Lu Zhizhi pursed his lips, "Fortunately it wasn't me who died."

"Has your mind changed?"

Lu Zhizhi lowered his eyes and clasped his fingers together to pick his nails.

The doctor patiently waited for her to think about it for a while, and then she spoke in a low voice: "Once upon a time, there was a group of bad students in the class I taught. Their families had something to do with the school. They always bullied their classmates and cheated on exams."

Doctor: "Have you ever criticized them?"

Lu Zhizhi: "Of course there were more than once. Because I thought it was unfair to other students, I confiscated their mobile phones and reported their cheating behavior to the superior. But the parents of the other students were investors in the school. A lot of things were fooled, and because of this I was ostracized by my colleagues for a long time and almost lost my job.”

"Later there was a kidnapping case, and those teenagers and I were kidnapped. We were in a small house."

"I still have my responsibilities as a teacher. I took the initiative to help them untie the ropes and wanted to help them escape. At that time, I overcame the darkness deep in my heart and still put my responsibilities first. Although the final result was still Unsatisfactory.”

Doctor: "I understand. Now let me go back to that scene. What do you think?"

Lu Zhizhi suddenly exerted some force on her hand, pulled it, and pulled out the thorns next to her fingernails. Blood beads overflowed from the gaps, and she felt a slight pain.

"It's none of my business. I don't want to lose my job. It took me a lot of effort to climb from the county town to this big city, and it took a lot of effort to reach such a glorious position."

At that time, deep in her heart, she had such thoughts, but she had never put selfish things on the table so blatantly like now.

Lu Zhizhi added: "Many times now, I will subconsciously ignore some things that are not good for me, or ignore some problems and details that I can actually detect. I don't want to overthrow the safe and comfortable environment I have now. I feel I am trying my best to maintain some semblance of peace."

The doctor said: "Subconscious avoidance or ignorance to achieve the purpose of making oneself feel safe and comfortable can be understood as a protective mechanism, but using the same method on different occasions is very problematic."

"If you encounter another murder and the target is your innocent student, can you still make the same judgment as before?"

Lu Zhizhi shook his head honestly, indifferently to the point of cruelty, "I would be very scared. In fact, I would be extremely frightened every time I encounter something like this. Now I just think, luckily it's not me who died."      She is a death-phobe.

Whether it was then or now, this has never changed.

Doctor: "Have you noticed that you seem to be easily frightened or panicked? This is not caused by your previous neurasthenia."

Lu Zhizhi: "Yes, this started when I was very young. My mother liked to threaten me with some urban horror rumors. This may have caused me to be very afraid of some mysterious things until I became an adult."

The doctor nodded and said gently: "It's understandable, but now the situation is getting worse. Do you feel like things like that often appear around you?"

Lu Zhizhi's eyes flashed slightly, and he rubbed his jeans with his palms until they became hot, "You can say that, but I have forced myself to accept it, forced myself to understand that there is no problem, and I am learning to get along with it."

Doctor: "Your current solution is to ignore certain things that you think are disturbing or wrong, and only live in your comfort zone."

Lu Zhizhi nodded, "Yeah."

The doctor eloquently wrote down a long list of medical records on the computer. After a brief silence and evaluation, he said:
  "I can now confirm that you are not suffering from acquired mental problems. This kind of thing has largely started when you were a child. Your family atmosphere is very unhealthy. You have a serious personality disorder. It’s easy to see, but it will lie dormant until the right time to erupt, and it has a 50% incidence rate.”

Lu Zhizhi took a deep breath and sighed, as if he expected it, "That's why I have a serious mental illness."

"You may have to suspend your teaching duties and undergo treatment."

"I will consider."

After walking out of the hospital, Lu Zhizhi carried the medicine prescribed by the doctor to the bus stop. The hot breath from his mouth turned into white mist and dispersed.

She stared blankly at the pedestrians and cars passing by on the street.

Ask her to take a break from work?

That is absolutely impossible.

She doesn't have much savings, nor does she have enough money for treatment. She will starve to death in Beijing.

Don't let the school know about this.

In the daze, the cell phone call in his pocket suddenly came in. It was Bai Ji.

"I just finished the discussion and saw sweet potatoes for sale on the street in front. Do you want to bring two for you?"

Lu Zhizhi also smelled the sweet sweet potato smell in the air, "Okay, where are you?"

She subconsciously looked in the direction of the sweet potato cart. The bus in front of her had just arrived, and the rear door opened in front of her.

Lu Zhizhi turned around and saw a young man wearing a mask, a black short cotton-padded jacket and casual pants, with a refreshing atmosphere.

I don't know why he wears a pair of black-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose, which makes him look more refined and delicate.

It's Bai Ji who is different from usual.