see you in spring

Chapter 177 Spiritual Pillar Three

That night, apart from Sun Yan and his wife, there were also Han Guyu and his wife who couldn't sleep.

Ever since hearing Zhou You's words of begging for reconciliation, Gu Yu lay in bed with his eyes open until the latter half of the night, tossing and turning, with mixed emotions, unable to fall asleep again.

She was angry, why should Zhou You get back together if he wants to get back together, and get divorced if he wants to get back together?
What makes her even more angry is that she clearly knows that their natures are hard to change. Even if they get back together, their lives will soon become a stagnant water without any hope, and they will still continue to suffer and suffer because they can't have children. .

But she was still tempted by what he said about getting back together.

The reason she gave herself was that she was a lively person and she was afraid of living alone.She was frightened when she thought about how her limbs were so weak when she had a fever at home that she couldn't even make a sound when she wanted to ask for help.If Zhou You hadn't walked into her room to see her that night, no one would have known she was burned.

This kind of reason, which is a matter of life and death, cannot stop the car once it emerges.After all, patients are sensitive and fragile to begin with. This disease made Gu Yu deeply feel the fragility of human beings. She was afraid of living alone and dying alone.This incident made her realize how important it is to have a companion by her side. Even if that person makes her miserable on a daily basis, he can still save her life at critical moments.

After all, compared to being lonely and helpless, the noise of chicken feathers is not so bad.

But even if she finds reasons for herself, her rationality is still reminding her: she has lost him.

From the moment she knew she couldn't have a baby, she was afraid of losing him.

Because she was afraid that he would leave her if she couldn't give birth to a child, she would quarrel with him again and again about the child. Because she didn't have the bond of the child, she wanted to deepen their relationship by hurting each other.

Unexpectedly, in the end, he still wanted to leave her.

She knew in her heart that Zhou You suddenly changed his mind about divorce, not because there was still love between them, nor because he suddenly couldn't bear to leave this family.

In these years of mutual torture, she felt that no matter how strong the love between them was, it would have been worn away long ago.He doesn't want to divorce, probably because of responsibility, and he's afraid that she won't survive the epidemic.As a man, a husband who has been with her for more than ten years, he cannot abandon her at this critical point.

If she had not been infected, their divorce certificate might have been issued by this time.

Now facing his persuasion, if she agrees to get back together, is this kind of marriage just out of a sense of responsibility really what she wants?
What a proud person she turned out to be, how could she accept such a feeling that was almost alms?
This kind of compromise is not fair to him or her.Perhaps for them, divorce means letting go and relief.

Strangely enough, after signing the divorce agreement, all her previous obsession with having children no longer seemed so strong.

Due to the disintegration of her marriage, she finally thought about letting go of the low self-esteem, guilt, and mountain of pressure she felt before.

Although I can't bear to part with it, isn't that what life is like? You get something at the same time you lose it.

Recalling her previous state in the marriage, she didn't know whether she was seriously ill now, or whether she was seriously ill now.

At this time, I didn’t fall asleep even though I was traveling around the house.

He was lying on the small bed in the guest bedroom. He had been sleeping here since they had quarreled about getting divorced before the Chinese New Year.

At this moment, he stared at the childlike but dusty airplane-shaped ceiling lamp above his head, remembering how excited Gu Yu was when he was decorating this suite and planning a future house for their children.

At that time, he also laughed at her and told her not to be too anxious, as the child might not come yet.

Unexpectedly, it became a truth.

His tears slowly dripped down his face, and just as he was about to wipe it off, his face was suddenly licked by something warm and soft.

He turned around and saw that it was the fake "Doudou" that Sun Yan had sent him today.

Doudou looked at him with two wet black eyes, his tail wagging slightly.

He thought of the dog he and she had raised, which was their "half son." God was so unfair to them that he didn't even leave them "half a son."

He picked up the fake "Doudou" in front of him, sat down on the sofa, covered his face and cried bitterly.In the middle of the night, the cry of a man was particularly piercing.

He knew that from the day she found out that she was extremely difficult to conceive, there were cracks in their relationship.

Fragility and disappointment accumulated little by little in their marriage. She often lost her temper and vented all her sensitivity and anxiety on him. Her gradually out-of-control emotions left him at a loss as to what to do.To escape this pressure, he spent less and less time at home.

At the beginning, he would take into account her feelings of not being able to be a mother, endure her to coax her, and go to the hospital with her for treatment.But three years later, as the energy, time and money required for the treatment increased, the hope of childbearing became more and more elusive, and his patience finally ran out.

Faced with her craziness during ovulation every month, Zhou You even developed ovulation phobia. He didn't want to go home during those few days every month, but if he didn't go back, Gu Yu's complaints would escalate into rage. The anger will last until the next ovulation period, making him feel worse than death every day.So he had to bite the bullet and go home to complete the "mission."

The original love between husband and wife was forced into a boring "task", and Zhou You finally couldn't bear it anymore.

He told her more than once that even if they didn't have children of their own in this life, they could adopt them and even live a life of two.

But Gu Yu, who had dreamed of having a smart and beautiful baby with him since she was in college, couldn't do it. She didn't want to adopt other people's children, and she couldn't accept that she wouldn't be able to have children in this life.

Seeing that she was over thirty, the anxiety of not having children and becoming an older mother made her temper worse and worse.At the same time, she watched Sun Yan and Jia Lie's children grow up day by day. Sun Yan even had a second child, but her belly still did not change. In this contrast, she could not use a peaceful expression. state to face yourself and him.

In order to give their breathless marriage an outlet, they decided to get a dog first.That's when Doudou walked into their home.

I have to say that after having a dog, Gu Yu put half of his energy into the dog, and traveling around felt much more relaxed.Their relationship finally eased, and they even went out walking their dogs together when the weather was nice.Both of them were careful not to add cracks to the marriage.

During that time, in order not to put pressure on Zhou You, Gu Yu allocated some of his energy to researching the certificate. Zhou You finally felt the long-lost freedom, and Gu Yu's career was getting better and better, and everything seemed to be on the right track again.

But without children, there is still an insurmountable gap between them.

When his mother once again urged them to have a child, Gu Yu, who had just celebrated her 34th birthday, exploded again, and the emotional black hole swallowed her up again.

She became increasingly sensitive, suspicious and mean.She pressed him again and again: "Do you really want a child?"

No matter whether she talks about it or not, she will end up having a hysterical attack.

To be honest, when a person reaches middle age, when everyone around him is discussing children, of course he will instinctively desire to have a child himself.But he never told Guyu about this feeling because he didn't want to increase her pressure.When he is in front of her, every time she talks about the child, he has the attitude of "take good care of her if you have her, and live well without us".But for some reason, the less he wanted to put pressure on her, the more pressure she felt.

Seeing her irritable appearance, he sometimes felt that it might be God's best arrangement for them not to have children.

Faced with this kind of relationship between husband and wife, going home in recent years has become a torment of traveling around.

After work, he would rather sit in the car alone in a daze than go home and face her.He was afraid that if he accidentally said the wrong sentence or made the wrong expression, she would explode.

She has not yet gotten over the pain of being unable to have children.But he was tired of this marriage.

In order not to listen to her complaints, he went fishing far away when he had time and was away from home all weekend.Usually when he got home, he would go to the small room to put on headphones and play games. If he hadn't been afraid that she would be distracted, he would have wanted to move to a small house to sleep.

He had consulted a psychiatrist. He knew that she had inner demons because of her infertility, but he could bear it as long as he could. There was nothing he could do.

They thought they would spend their entire lives in this repressed relationship, but they didn't expect to encounter an epidemic.

In this disaster, he felt that they should not continue to torture each other, and he finally plucked up the courage to divorce her.

Unexpectedly, she was infected.

He was indeed infected because she was infected in the first place, and he felt that he couldn't just walk away like this.But later, as she stayed in the hospital longer and longer, what he was thinking about was not his future life, but her.

He missed her crazily and worried about her. He never realized that she had become a part of his life over the years. Without her, he no longer had the mind to go fishing or the energy to play games, just like those before. Hobbies have meaning because of her.

He felt like his whole body collapsed without her.

Fortunately, he figured out all this before they were actually divorced.

(End of this chapter)