I am studying and eating melons in Chronicle

"What's the use of telling me this now?"

Qiao Ruixue was furious and cried even harder, the sound of her wails reaching through the wall panel to the next door.

A group of teachers were still frightened, and they all looked embarrassed when they vaguely heard the noise.

"Xiao Qiao is quite energetic."

Due to the teasing of one of the male teachers, everyone was made to smile, and the heaviness of the previous fear also dissipated a lot.

Fu Zhen wanted to say something to persuade him, but he coughed twice, which inevitably touched the bloody incision. The pain was so unbearable that he raised his eyebrows.

Qiao Ruixue suddenly fell silent, looking a little at a loss. She poured a glass of warm water and handed it to her lips, "I, I won't say anything anymore. Don't be angry. Drink some water..."

"I'm not angry." Fu Zhen paused for a moment, feeling quite uncomfortable with his daughter's considerate care. He explained slowly: "You are my daughter. In times of crisis, you want to save me, but as a mother, I naturally have to save her as well." your."

"You didn't look like my mother before..." Qiao Ruixue muttered softly like a mosquito bite, but it was very clear in the silent box, as if the slightly resentful breath at the end could be heard clearly.

Suddenly he realized that he was talking nonsense and his tongue was about to tie up, so he quickly changed his words: "Don't think too much, I said the wrong thing. You were okay before..."

Only the last few words seemed slightly guilty.

The weak woman lying flat on the bed couldn't help but sigh: "In the past, it was my fault."

Qiao Ruixue didn't answer and stubbornly tilted her head.

After a while, he couldn't suppress his curiosity and asked aggrievedly: "Why?"

Why on earth?

This doubt that had been buried in her heart for twenty years always troubled her when she woke up late at night.

She had no father since she was a child, and her mother was extremely cold to her. Even her grandparents didn't treat her particularly well.

In addition to having no worries about food and drink, Qiao Ruixue sometimes felt that she was not as good as that wild child in the countryside who had no one to raise her.

Fu Zhen knew the reason, but found it hard to explain. After a long time, he closed his eyes tiredly, and with a long voice, he gradually fell into memories...

That year, she had just turned twenty.

They are among the first batch of ambitious young people who called on the country to mobilize and voluntarily go to the countryside to build rural areas. Their families have been practicing medicine for generations, and they are determined to spread medical skills to the countryside and save more lives lost due to minor illnesses.

She was not afraid of hardship, but it was hard to accept life in the countryside for a while, and the villagers also rejected them, educated youths who were not good at farming, and some were even naturally malicious and targeted.

The feeling is especially obvious when it comes to being a lesbian.

After only staying in the country for half a year, her initial ambition and pride had been exhausted. If she could work hard to overcome the setbacks in life, then alienation, isolation, rumors, verbal bullying...these psychological pressures were what crushed her to death. Wuzhishan.

When she was being violated, the collusion of the village cadres, the overwhelming power of the clan, and the suffocating power to cut off external connections. All these experiences seemed to prove that the light of the law had not yet reached the edge of the village.

Fu Zhen gave birth to Qiao Ruixue involuntarily the next year. It snowed heavily in the late winter of that year. The farmers in the village, with their limited education, kept saying happily that Ruixue would herald a good harvest. This name was forcefully given to their daughter. .

But she felt that this was the most embarrassing moment in her life. For a moment, she even thought of running into the snowy mountains without caring about anything else and freezing to death with her newborn baby in her arms.

But seeing his daughter dying just after birth, she still took this breath and chose to swallow her anger and stay humble. Fortunately, she saved several elders in the village and gradually gained the right to speak. Later, she was occasionally allowed to go out to communicate. , although he was being stared at, he still found an opportunity and was rescued by his family.

The leaders of that village were dismissed and investigated, and the man who forced her to give birth was also imprisoned. So far, the fair trial result is a kind of comfort.

But when she returned home, everything changed. She is obviously the victim.

But because he had a child with him, he was criticized and gossiped by neighbors and acquaintances.

"How shameless!"

"That's what I said when I went to the countryside. I didn't know how to behave."

"When you give birth to a child, but abandon your husband, don't you still think that he is a scoundrel? The Fu family is too unkind."

At that moment, she felt as if she had been stripped naked and stood in the sun, being insulted, all because she brought her daughter home.

Fu Zhen couldn't help but think that if she didn't take Qiao Ruixue with her, others wouldn't know about her scandal in the countryside, and she could start over.

But that was her biological daughter who had gone through all kinds of hardships to give birth to her, so how could she abandon her own flesh and blood and run away?

In that place where boys are extremely patriarchal, civilization seems to be uncivilized. Women have a low status and cannot decide their own marriage and uterus. They have no dignity either in their mother's family or in their husband's family. If she leaves, you can imagine Qiao Ruixue's ending. And know.

It is not unusual for a baby girl to be drowned alive.

Over the years, her ears seemed to have been hearing that the evil people who went to the countryside were suffering from inner struggles, so they had an extremely cold attitude towards their daughter.

Fu Zhen closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath. Her voice was light and weak, as if she had no life left.

Dead silence filled the entire narrow box.

No one had ever told Qiao Ruixue about her mother's past, and even her grandparents who had raised her since childhood kept it secret. Therefore, after receiving such a large amount of information, her brain immediately shut down.

"you……"

She didn't know what to say.

It seems that anything you say is useless.

Fu Zhen spoke first: "I'm sorry. Although your appearance was not what I wanted, you are innocent. I shouldn't be angry with you because of my suffering for so many years."

Qiao Ruixue clenched her fists, her eyes were red, her expression seemed particularly angry, and she burst into tears: "You are right, and so am I! It's the perpetrators who are evil in nature and the bystanders who can only make sarcastic remarks. It's their fault!"

"Your blood is flowing in my body, but I also have the genes of that bad guy, so... I can understand that you have been ignoring me... If it were me, I wouldn't know what to do."

"But you should have told me earlier. Don't treat me like a child forever. I should have the right to know the truth."

Her words were incoherent and she said whatever came to mind, but it was obvious that she did not blame Fu Zhen.

As a mother, Fu Zhen knows best that her daughter is a person who is cold on the outside and hot on the inside. She is very similar to her when she was young.

But life is easy to break, and she is afraid that she will follow her own old path.

"No matter what the reason is, whether it's past hardships or being a mother for the first time, between you and me, the 'victim' is always you, and this is what I owe you."

Fu Zhen was in a low state of mind, as if he was about to fall into a deep sleep. He was determined to hold on to narrating these for a long time.

Before she went to bed, she repeated it several times in a daze: "Ruixue, I'm sorry."

Qiao Ruixue sat on the pony, lowered her head, and said nothing for a long time.