Divorced Woman 2019

Chapter 5 Favorite
The moment each petal falls is either weather-beaten, or the nutrient has been forgotten to give, or because of sudden overwhelm.

Qin Lei is undoubtedly like a flower petal. For so many years, she has been a daily braggadocio in the emotional world she has worked hard to maintain.She keeps chasing after and hypnotizing herself, just to be able to have a piece of sunshine to surround herself forever.But the sun didn't stop going west because of her efforts, so she had to keep chasing it by herself. A person is a person after all, let alone a woman.

No one is a train that can go straight forward. After all, even a train needs fuel or electricity to move forward!

At this moment, Qin Lei felt physically and mentally exhausted for the first time. This exhaustion came from the depths of her heart. This kind of exhaustion from the depths of her heart was like an invisible net, tightly wrapping her body and making her unable to stretch. , not to breathe.

This net is not only getting tighter and tighter, it is also dragging her into the dark depths where she doesn't know the direction, and there is no resistance
The withering of petals is helpless, and there is no room for one's choice, but people should not be like this. If you end your life like this, then the moment you close your eyes, you must be full of more regrets than other women!
Life shouldn't be like this, and a woman's life shouldn't be like this.Although I don't expect myself to have the sunshine all the time, and never lack the nourishment of the rain and dew, at least I should have the part that removes the night.

Since Qin Lei had a mobile phone, he resumed his previous social activities, and chatted more with his former girlfriends.Although I was able to chat with them about their recent life in the past, the contact was not very frequent.

This is not because of Qin Lei's aloofness, but because of the trivialities of life between each other, so that there is not much time to chat.

Of course, in comparison, I chatted more with Fu Xin. Both of them were reminiscing about the good times in middle school, and occasionally heard Fu Xin complaining about his dissatisfaction with reality.

And whenever it comes to these things, Qin Lei can't express her own thoughts, after all, she doesn't have much social experience.

Their conversations will also bring some loneliness about the current situation of the family, Qin Lei always stops the conversation every time he talks about this.As time passed, Fu Xin also felt this, so he stopped talking with her about family matters, and instead tried to make Qin Lei happy in different ways.

Qin Lei was indeed attracted by his conversation, and at the same time began to re-examine this man, as if he had never known Fu Xin before.

Qin Lei described to me how they felt chatting together: Even when they were together with Meng Jingtao before, they never had such a pleasant moment.In my opinion, maybe years of polishing have made her forget those sweet memories with Meng Jingtao.

In the afternoon of this day, Qin Lei picked up the phone after finishing the housework. When she opened QQ on the phone, she found that there were many messages from Fu Xin.

She flipped through them one by one, some of his work and some of his former classmates, and the last few messages were a few jokes shared.Just as Qin Lei was laughing and leaning back and forth, she did not forget to look at the sleeping baby.Fortunately, the little ancestor didn't wake up. Just when she was secretly happy, her mother-in-law pushed the door open and entered.

She is used to the habit of her mother-in-law entering without knocking, but what she is not used to is her mother-in-law's habit of hugging and making out no matter what state the baby is in.

It was the same this time, the unsurprisingly, the baby started to cry, which was the last thing Qin Lei wanted to see, and it was also something that all mothers didn't want to see.

When the child turned on the howling mode, the mother-in-law flashed a displeased expression on her face, and then put the child down, talking to herself in the dialect of her hometown.It roughly means that the child is still like this at such an age, it must be something wrong with Qin Lei.

Qin Lei was already used to her behavior, so he couldn't talk about being angry or annoyed.When her mother-in-law was about to leave, she did not forget to tell Qin Lei in Mandarin: "Hold the child more if you have nothing to do, so you can save yourself so much."

The education level of the mother-in-law is not low. In the early years, she and her father-in-law also ran a company. She is also a person who has seen big scenes, but at the same time she is also an unreasonable person.In front of outsiders, she will show how much she loves Qin Lei, but behind her back she becomes like a wolf grandma.

If it was normal, Qin Lei would just feel a little disgusted or feel nothing, and would even subtly think that what her mother-in-law said was right.But through chatting with her girlfriends and Fu Xin these days, she knew what other women were like, and after comparing them, she realized how sad she was!

She thought of her husband. At this time, she didn't want to complain about her mother-in-law's unreasonableness, but just wanted someone close to her to talk to. But when Meng Jingtao couldn't be reached through several phone calls, her heart was not comforted. Instead, I feel more and more helpless and sad!

She tried to dial Fu Xin's number.After only two rings, she felt that this was inappropriate, so she hung up the phone.That is, less than 2 minutes later, the phone rang again. She answered the phone as if she was grabbing a life-saving straw, thinking it was Meng Jingtao calling, but Fu Xin's name was displayed on the screen impressively.

"Did you call me just now?"

"Well, I seem to have made a wrong dial." Qin Lei explained awkwardly.

"Oh, I just finished my work. If we have time, let's chat for a while?" Fu Xin didn't seem to want to stop talking because of this explanation.

"There's nothing wrong now." Qin Lei continued to perfunctory.

"It's boring to be at home every day, isn't it? Women have their own troubles at home just like men outside."

"Fortunately, I'm used to it."

"In my understanding, is getting used to numbness?"

"." Qin Lei obviously didn't know how to answer, and remained silent.

"not in a good mood?"

"No," Qin Lei quickly covered up.

"Actually, everyone has their inherent worries and sorrows. If a person says she has nothing to be sad about, maybe she is in sorrow, but she can't see it."

"You seem to be a fallacy, right?" Qin Lei began to refute.

"Let me give you an example. Wu Dalang knows it. It's the guy who sells cakes. Before Wu Song came back, he was bullied in Yanggu County. At this time, he can swallow his anger, or think that he has a beautiful daughter-in-law. Consolation, but there is sadness that he was bullied. But when the brother who beat the tiger came back, his life changed qualitatively. My younger brother is a civil servant, not only a civil servant, but also the captain of the Criminal Police Department of the Public Security Bureau. With such an identity, who would dare to call him a three-inch ding, an ancient tree bark? At this time, Wu Dalang should not be sad at all, right? But her daughter-in-law A stick smashed him into sorrow, and if the pear seller hadn't told him that his wife was stealing, he would never have realized that he was in sorrow." Fu Xin told the story in Water Margin with a smile.

"What you're talking about is fallacious." Although Qin Lei said so, his face softened.

"I'm just stating a fact. There are many examples like this in real life." There was a smile in Fu Xin's words.

"In my memory, you are not such a talkative person?"

"Then who should be divided, of course I am willing to tell you."

"No, I'm not that attractive."

"Have you, I know best in my heart, and do you think I didn't reply to your message once? On the contrary, you just ignored me again?"

"I was really busy at that time, and I didn't do it on purpose." Qin Lei began to defend.

"I don't believe you've been busy, and of course I don't dwell on it. I like talking to you, but it has nothing to do with you, it's entirely my own behavior (laughing emoji)."

"Says like I'm innocent"

"It's not innocent. In fact, I was one of your countless secret lovers back then. Of course, I have no other meaning when I say these things now. I just want to talk about my youth and ignorance before."

"Let's not talk, I'm going to cook." Then he ignored Fu Xin and hung up the phone.

Qin Lei suddenly felt that this chat had to end now.When she saw that it was more than three o'clock in the afternoon on the phone, she realized how stupid her reason was.But she is not good at lying, such an excuse seems to suit her well.

Sometimes, the human heart is very strange, it is always contrary to the wishes of the own mind.For example, when you encounter a certain thing, you know that it is not what you want, but you want to do it infinitely in your heart.Sometimes you can even predict that the result will be tragic, and you will do it without hesitation!This is human, and this is human nature.

Women are also human beings, more emotional than men, and even more courageous than men to give.

Compared with women, men sometimes seem too indecisive and indecisive, and even at certain times, what men call giving may be just an excellent reason to cover up their selfishness.

At this time, Qin Lei kept repeating in his heart. From the beginning of marriage, it seemed that her husband had never cared about him carefully or talked sweetly about him.Maybe I chose to get married just for the sake of getting married. If not, I might not care about his past love history.

Maybe it's because of his numbness to love that he has never expressed his love to himself, maybe it's because he is not worthy of him expressing these things to me...

At this time, Qin Lei kept thinking about it in her mind. The long-term family life had made her not good at using her brain, because she felt a little dizzy just after thinking about it for a while, so she simply stopped thinking about it.So five words flashed in her mind: one pregnant and stupid for three years!

Thinking of these things, she smiled subconsciously, and she didn't know why she was smiling?Are you laughing at your own stupidity or your own random thinking.
At this time, Qin Lei felt that something should be done to resist the current panic, so she picked up the rag and began to wipe the coffee table vigorously. As the lines of the water crossed repeatedly, she suddenly thought of something.She felt that she should change her attitude towards life. She couldn't just keep crossing like this water mark, and then was dried, and then crossed again.
Qin Lei, who was sitting on the sofa, was not in the mood to watch TV at all. The so-called TV programs were just decorations for her to eliminate her loneliness.

From school to marriage and family life, Qin Lei seems to be busy with others all the time, never thinking about himself.Fu Xin's words were already showing signs of sprouting in her heart.Fu Xin's words warmed her cold heart.

This kind of warmth is like the sun shining on the remaining snow on the hillside in spring...

(End of this chapter)