hurry time, love slowly

Chapter 32
Mo Xiaobei hadn't come home for two years. When she stepped into the house, her father was still sitting at the cash register, smoking a cigarette and watching TV as before.

Seeing Mo Xiaobei coming in with his luggage, his father said lightly, "I'm back."

Then he continued to watch TV by himself, picked up a cup to drink water, but found that he had bottomed out, so he said to Xiaobei: "Go and pour me a cup of tea."

"Eh." Mo Xiaobei put down the luggage in his hand, took the teacup handed over by his father, and responded.

Mo Huaqiang instructed: "The tea leaves are out of juice, so make them again."

The sensitive Mo Xiaobei cared about his father's indifference, but that was all he could do.

He knew that, as his father said, Mo Xiaobei was partly responsible for his father's disability, which may be part of his father's identification.

Part of the role of superstition is to paralyze people's cognition, attribute the responsibility for their own mistakes to the theory of strange powers and chaotic gods, and it may not be so hard to live.

After all, it is much easier to say "the way of heaven is not fair" than to try to change the status quo.

But when she was young and didn't have the ability to distinguish, the phrase "It's you, the broom star, who caused me to be disabled..." was deeply imprinted in Mo Xiaobei's heart, and she felt guilty and blamed herself for many years.

It wasn't until I was in junior high school and gradually formed my cognition that I realized the absurdity of this sentence.How guilty I was once, how resentful I am now.

"Sister, you're back?" Mo Xiaonan, who came out of the inner courtyard, said in surprise when she saw her sister Xiaobei pouring water.
"I'll do it." He picked up the cup in his sister's hand, ready to add water to it.

"Change the tea leaves." Mo Xiaobei reminded.

"Uh." Mo Xiaonan said, "Why did you come back so early? Didn't you say it will be New Year's Eve?"

"I'm afraid I won't be able to buy tickets." Mo Xiaobei said.

Mo Xiaonan brought the water to his father, poured another cup for Mo Xiaobei and handed it to her, looked left and then said: "Sister, you are thinner than you look in the video. But you are more beautiful than in the video."

Mo Xiaobei took a sip of water and said, "Yo, you can talk so well." She looked at Xiaonan, and compared her height: "Why are you growing taller again?"

She put down the glass: "Bring in my luggage... Where's Mom?"

Mo Xiaonan followed behind with her luggage: "Mom is cooking in the kitchen."

Mo Xiaobei came to the kitchen: "Mom."

Li Mei turned her head: "Xiaobei is back. Come quickly, help me taste the saltiness." Li Mei picked up the braised pork that had just been fried.

"How is it?" Li Mei asked, "Is it salty or not?"

"Just right." Mo Xiaobei said while eating.

"That's good, your dad is very picky." Li Mei turned around and picked up the vegetables on the table and handed them to Mo Xiaobei: "You wash the vegetables. You can eat right away."

Mo Xiaobei took the food and saw his mother's graying hair. He felt an indescribable feeling in his heart, and his nose was slightly sour.

Compared with the father, the mother who is two years younger seems to be five years older than the father.

She was washing dishes by the sink, looking at her mother's back and lost in thought.

Although her mother rarely cared about her, she was strict with her since she was a child, even though she had a lot of resentment towards her mother in her heart.

But this does not affect a daughter's sympathy and love for her mother.Love, it's that complicated.It is not simply good and bad, love and dislike can be distinguished.

She knew that her mother was also a poor person. In Mo Xiaobei's memory, since her father became disabled, her mother accepted all scolding and beatings from her father. All she could do was endure and secretly wipe tears;
After the emotions were digested, she was as good as ever to her father and took care of the family. Her mother only had a fifth grade elementary school diploma, and her thinking was extremely traditional. She never thought of divorcing her father;
One, her knowledge of domestic violence is limited; two, divorce is not a glorious thing; three, she can live without her father, but her father cannot leave her, and she can't bear it; four, Divorce, and the family falls apart.

His parents once said during a quarrel that if his grandparents hadn't insisted on telling him about this marriage, he would not have chosen his mother.

Ever since his father became disabled, he didn't even have the most basic respect for his mother...

He despises his mother's unpalatable food, dislikes his mother's dirty clothes, dislikes her poor housework, and he dislikes everything about her...

Even though he can't even take care of himself, even though he depends on his mother for food, drink and lazard.

But this does not prevent him from disliking this woman who has done everything for her and endured everything. The biggest problem with his father is that he never feels that there is a problem with him.

Mo Xiaobei, who has received a higher education, can't empathize with her mother. She even thinks that her mother is responsible for her own fault.

So many times when her mother complained about her father in front of her, she would just say coldly: "You can get a divorce."

It is said that a daughter is the mother's little padded jacket, but Li Mei has never felt it with Mo Xiaobei, as if Mo Xiaobei had never felt the strong maternal love from her.

For Mo Xiaobei, she is a tool to bear part of the family responsibilities, mother's love does not need to be given to a tool, her love can only be given to Xiao Nan.

Well, one person is enough to be loved.The person she loves is also the person she loves the most, so what does it matter!

Thinking this way, Mo Xiaobei felt relieved again.right!Every time I think about it, I feel relieved, and one day I won't mind so much.

Mo Xiaobei sighed, put the washed vegetables on the chopping board and cut them.

She walked through her brother's room to her own.

This was originally a big room. After her first period in junior high school, her mother asked someone to build a gambling wall here, but the sensitive Mo Xiaobei didn't feel that this was also a kind of maternal love.

Mo Xiaobei looked at everything in the room, touched the table, there was no dust, and smelled the sunshine on the quilt.

She was a little surprised, and she opened the door and poked her head into the small south room and asked, "Mom cleaned my room? Did Mom change the quilt? Don't you guys know that I'm coming back today?"

"Mom doesn't have time to do these things. It's all your brother, I, I will do it for you, and your quilt is mine. I just carried it to your bed from outside."

Mo Xiaonan, who was doing homework, didn't notice her sister's disappointed expression.

"Oh!" Mo Xiaobei said, "I didn't hurt you for nothing."

Mo Xiaobei took out the gift he bought and handed it to Xiao Nan: "Didn't you say that wired headphones are not easy to use last time? I bought you a Bluetooth one."

"Sister, you are so kind." Mo Xiaonan said while tearing apart.

"It's five hundred oceans, you can take it away." Seeing Xiaonan's happy face, Mo Xiaobei smiled himself.

She walked to the cash register and handed the sweater in her hand to her father: "Dad, you can try on this dress later to see if it fits. If it doesn't fit, I have to change it."

Mo Huaqiang took Mo Xiaobei's clothes and said "um", put it aside without looking at it, and continued eating melon seeds, watching TV, and drinking tea.

Mo Xiaobei stopped talking, went back to the kitchen, and brought the women's sweater to his mother: "Mom, you can try this dress later."

"I don't like this color." Li Mei glanced at it, but didn't take the clothes Mo Xiaobei handed over: "I asked your brother to eat with your father."

Seeing this, Mo Xiaobei threw his clothes on a chair beside him, went to the yard, and knocked on the window glass: "Xiao Nan, it's time to eat, go and call Dad."

(End of this chapter)