Tokyo Wingman King

Chapter 195 192. Rejection and Freedom
Trapped in a cocoon again?
The freedom that Jiandao longs for may be the same thing as what Beidao said in his poem "Freedom is just the distance between the hunter and the prey".

Before agreeing to Majima's tutoring at home, and after hearing that the nurse aunt left on her own initiative, Asama had anticipated this situation.

Just like [Murphy's Law] says, what should come, will come.

What he held in his palm was the girl's slightly cool catkins, and he didn't know who the sweat in his palm belonged to.

Her hands, which are suitable for picking flowers, writing, reading, playing the piano, and doing many beautiful things, have been stained with some traces of time, and the strength of holding his left hand shows no sign of weakness.

It's not just the hands that connect them, but also the eyes.

Asama Shisui and Majima Mai looked at each other wordlessly.

Therefore, avoiding and procrastinating cannot eliminate the problem.This confession is inevitable until a higher mission is found for them to pursue.Despicable as he is, he has no right to interfere with their freedom of expression.

While he was hesitating, thinking about his words, the girl's tears fell silently to the spotless floor.

The tears left a dark trace like a small flower on the wooden floor that had not been properly waxed and maintained.

Futami Tsukiumi endured misunderstandings and bullying, Izumo Kateia chose self-exile when she was abandoned, and Fusukawa Kazuichi wanted to escape from the shackles of his family.

Where is Mai Shimajima?
She has been trying hard to adapt to the environment, to her mother, to her ugly identity, to the life of dropping out of school to work, to makeup, to working in the love counseling department, and to [Shisui Asama].

In fact, Mai Shimajima, who took the initiative to adapt, was the most vulnerable person.

Therefore, having money and a system, she would regard herself as a kind of safe shelter.

Unlike Futami's bold embrace, Majima Mai was cautious even in her confession.

But he couldn't bear to see this humble posture, this self-limiting, unfree state.

He was obviously talking about freedom with her, but the words he spoke were full of shackles.

What went wrong?
Before he came, she had lived alone.

If you rescue a deer from a trap in the wild, do you have to take the deer home and keep it for the rest of its life?
Isn't it good to follow his guidance, learn knowledge well, build awareness, find hobbies, and eventually become a person who is worthy of both the body and society?

Asama Shizui of Logical Thinking lv.1,
Once again, I entered the maze of my own creation and self-defense.

After thinking about it, Asama unconsciously held Majima's hand and said,

"Mai, these freedoms and rights you mentioned, you have already had them since the day we met."

Mai Shimajima's eyes, which were still crying, shone with surprise.

"However, I deny you and your freedom, which also exists."

"."

"Ma Yi, people always influence each other, and this influence is not equal."

Jiandao understands that his influence on her is far greater than her influence on him, but as long as you are willing to do it, why do you deliberately avoid it?

"Jingshui, you said, don't love abstract people, love concrete people. Why do you respond with abstractions when you are loved as a concrete person?"

"."

"Jingshui, I remember you talked about Rousseau's "Confessions" in the love counseling department exam materials. You said Rousseau was an extremely hypocritical person. He used the abstract love of loving all mankind to justify his abandonment of 5 The sin of a biological child. He sacrificed the concrete minority for the imaginary majority in an environment that did not belong to the trolley problem. This is a kind of hypocritical and refined self-interest."

"Ma Yi, responsibility and love cannot be confused. Rousseau's hypocrisy does not lie in not loving, but in using other loves to eliminate his irresponsibility. Indeed, what I have always pursued is vague, nihilistic, and abstract love.

Those specific loves, such as books, grape-flavored Fanta, and Chinese cuisine, are a kind of material desire. They are okay for things, but not for people.People cannot be objectified in the name of love. "

"Jingshui, but as long as you are a human being, you will definitely love something, just like the yearning and love of plants and trees for light. Every time you look at me one more time, I will be more indulged in the happiness of being illuminated by light. Jingshui, love It is allowed to be unfair. If you are willing, I will be your lifelong [lover] or [thing], that’s fine.”

Asama looked at Majima, who still had tears in his eyes, as if he were seeing Futami with burning eyes, as if he were seeing himself in his previous life.
Love is really a very sinful thing, it can cause people to self-destruct, but this kind of sacrifice is often not cherished.

"If I were really light, I wouldn't do this. The sun is only safe for you if it is far enough away from you."

It's not a direct rejection, but the attitude of drawing a clear line of distance cannot be questioned.

Jiandao was silent for a moment and confessed, a complete failure.
Asama tried to let go of his hand, but Majima tightened his grip again.

Seeing that Asama didn't move her hand away, Majima closed her eyes. The warmth of his hand gave her the energy to continue.

The old air conditioner made a harsh rumble and fell silent again, as if it had stopped operating.

It's not enough to see clearly his true intentions.

Mai Shimajima opened her eyes again, stared at Asama, and asked two questions with a seductive question,
"So, Jingshui, can you tell me how you rejected Yue Hai's confession to you?"

".It's not convenient to say."

"Then use the same reason you rejected her to reject me again."

Asama felt that his chest was entangled with a heavy emotion that made him breathless. He just wanted to break free, but he couldn't bear to cut it off.

"Okay. Mai, let me declare to you again that I am a person who has lost the desire and ability to love. Without love, there will be no harm. I also hope that you can slowly understand my thoughts. From now on, we will still Friends, colleagues, or other partnerships, but it is best to maintain [friend] level standards in words and deeds; we can tolerate each other's independent mental space; we should never hurt each other."

Listening to Asama saying the promise, he probably said the same to Futami, right?

Mai Shimajima sighed deeply.

Even if he refuses, Asama Shizui will only say that it is his own problem.

He had never doubted her feelings, and there was no point in rejecting her with such ugly words as [Maybe you just mistook your debt for liking].

However, these words would make her many times sadder than rejecting her directly.

"Jingshui, do you know that your bastard-like, indecisive words will actually give us hope?"

Asama breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Majima Mai start scolding herself.

"No. All the entrances and exits for lovers have been welded shut by me. Only the door of friendship is always open. I have said many times that I have no expectations or interest in love. Mai, life is vast and you should not be trapped in love. In a word. I hope you don’t have to worry, I will personally cut it off for you. Life is short, and the beauty of girls is much shorter than that of boys. Don’t wait for people you shouldn’t wait for, and don’t hurt hearts you shouldn’t. "

"Even if all of us hate you?"

"Just hate me."

"Even if you see everyone falling in love or getting married with other people, will they stay away from you?"

Asama paused, controlling his expression,
"Yes, if that is your choice. In addition, you must know that your likes and dislikes about me are not that important."

Majima looked into Asama's eyes, trying to find any trace of a lie, but he couldn't.

She forgot the throbbing and worry she felt when she expressed her feelings. At this moment, instead, there was a surge of anger in her chest, anger for Asama's pessimistic lack of desire.

She was even more angry that Qianjian actually thought that she, Majima Mai, would really hate him and stay away from him.

He has long since become everything to her.But, am I just [not that important] to him?
Tears welled up in the corners of Jiandao's eyes again, and the nerves at the surgical site on her forehead began to tingle.

"Then you were nice to me before, but you were just pitying me?"

"I have no right to pity anyone. I just like you, appreciate you, and want to do something for you, and for these things, I don't expect any return or response."

When she heard "I like you", Majima Mai's heart seemed to skip a beat.

Reason told her that what Asama said he liked was no different from his liking a book or a dog.

Jiajima is even more convinced that Asama is the one who just wants to give umbrellas to people.

All his rhetoric and stance are too conceited and arrogant, as if he is the only moral saint in the world.

He swept all the feelings of girls who liked him into the trash can of "selfish love".

Jiandao thought of the [Principle of Stimulus and Response], the same method he used when he talked to her.

"Such words are too cunning. Do you want to make everyone fall in love with you, then reject everyone, and finally waste everyone?"

"I will not hide my thoughts, and I have never wanted to please people or consume anyone."

"Jingshui, do you want to be the sun and let all the planets revolve around you?" "Then please be your own star."

"."

The ten minutes of conversation seemed like a century had passed.

Asama looked at her phone and smiled gently,
"It's getting late. Goodbye, friend."

"Jingshui. Can I be the most special friend in your heart?"

"Mai, you are special enough."

The hands of the two people loosened their hands smoothly.

Her body also seemed like an electrical appliance with its power cord unplugged, and its energy drained away.

Maijima kept her spirits up and sent Asama out, looking at his back - a man holding an umbrella. The raindrops illuminated by the street lights flew to his umbrella and were extinguished one by one.

Keeping watching him disappear into the night on the street, the girl dragged heavy steps upstairs, fell into the bed, and covered her face with her hands.

Holding hands is indeed a sentimental process - after holding hands, you are destined to let go.

spouse?

In Japan, it means mistress.

Why do you do this to yourself?
The girl's affection is deep, and Asama has to contemplate the tragedy of love and resist his adolescent impulses.

George Orwell recorded a sewer worker named Henry in "Down and Out in Paris and London".It turned out that he was a decent man, but he met a beautiful girl who kept expressing her deep love for him.The girl Hongxing cheated on her twice during the month they fell in love. Henry went to jail because of her. The girl promised to wait for him, but when Henry met after he was released from prison, she was already pregnant with someone else's. child.

The key point is that it is true that the girl loves Henry, and it is also true that she sleeps with someone else.After experiencing such a disillusioning love, it is understandable that Henry fell into the city's sewers.

Asama did not become misogynistic because of his experience and big data cases, nor did he become the "young walking dead" in Baudelaire's poem because of his failure experience in his previous life.

He has a life purpose and a passion, he just doesn't want to be in love.

Even though Futami, Shimajima, and Immortal River are 1000000 times more beautiful than the girls in George Orwell’s novels.

He still wants to refuse.

Asama Shisui hopes that he will get used to rejecting good girls sooner.

Futami and Majima's eyes darted between the left and right sides of his head.

[She is excellent] plus [she likes you] plus [you appreciate her] must equal [do you want to accept it]?

wrong.If there is a word "no" in your heart, you should examine it carefully.

As for why Boqi, who has been with her the longest, did not confess, perhaps it is cowardice caused by extreme inequality.

Asama picked up a Porchi express delivery from a convenience store, walked on the windy street, picked up a can that was sizzling on the ground, walked 200 meters, and threw it into the trash can.

But there is no bin to transfer people’s troubles.The human brain itself is a trash can.

Really annoying.

The phone in my pocket vibrated.

Immortal River sent an [eh hey.jpg] expression.

It seems to be going well.

Asama looked up at the sky.

I really want to be an optimistic and cheerful person like Immortal River.A vitality idol like her, she even finds joy in rejecting other people.

After enduring the hot and sticky drizzle along the way, I finally reached the door of my house.

Asama opened the door of the apartment, put the folded umbrella into the umbrella tube, and looked up to see Pochi sitting on the sofa reading a book.

The blond girl lifted up her forehead, revealing her smooth forehead, and tied her hair into a sky-high braid with hairpins and rubber bands.

"Stinky Ah Shui, you went out to have a good time and have fun again."

Asama changed her shoes and glanced sideways at Pochi on the way to the bathroom.

"Hurry up and let your hair down, otherwise everyone will know that you are talking nonsense."

Pochi put down the book in his hand, jumped off the sofa, sniffed around Asama, and couldn't even hide away.

"I'm staying with Majima-chan today."

Pochi said with a pout.

"Well, I was assigned to a study group."

Asama looked at the kitchen. Pochi had most likely taken the lunch he had prepared for dinner.

"Went to her house?"

"Ah."

"Flower-hearted radish!"

Asama resisted the urge to beat the golden retriever severely. Bullying is not what an aloof person should do.

After settling the two-day mission bonus with Pochi, Asama opened the express box and handed a [Residence Privilege Card] that allowed employment and was valid for 6 years to Pochi.

"this is?"

"Illiterate? Your new identity."

"[Asama Paki]!!! Great!!!"

Pochi changed his pouty mouth to a pout and kissed Asama's face.

"Forbidden."

A ruthless hand pressed against her face.

"Let me hug you, Ah Shuishui~~~"

"Do you know what this means? Pochi."

"Does this mean I'm officially marrying into the Asama family?"

Asama's family doesn't have a dog to accompany you, and my mother is allergic to cats and dogs.

"It means Pochi that you can become a human again. It will be convenient for you to go to college, travel, work and do whatever you want."

The joy on Pochi's face melted away instantly, revealing a pitiful look.

"Ah Shui, are you going to kick me out?"

"Have confidence in yourself, Pochi, you are already a human being."

"But I'm not ready yet. Look, I haven't learned even one percent of your cooking skills."

The blonde girl bit her mouth, tears welling up in her eyes, and she almost made a puppy whimpering sound.

Fortunately, the early preparations worked, at least they didn't refuse the arrangement.

Asama sighed,

".Let's wait until after the summer vacation."

Is freedom such a thing worthless?
　After rejecting Shimajima, Asama began to realize that the freedom he was selling was not worth a penny.

　　Thanks to the bosses for their support
　　
　
(End of this chapter)