Writing about entertainment was approached by a female villain archetype

Chapter 189 The Funniest Show in the Spring Festival Gala

28, make the noodles; 29, steam the steamed buns; stay up overnight at [-] o'clock, twist and twist on the first day of the new year, and there are dumplings every year on New Year's Eve.

This is a folk proverb that Xu Chuan inadvertently saw on the Internet when he was on Earth. It is said to be the custom of celebrating the New Year in the north.

Xu Chuan didn't know if it was true, because he didn't celebrate the New Year in the north.

This year is the first time.

It's around 12:[-] noon on New Year's Eve, and the backstage of the Spring Festival Gala can be described as full of people, and this time happens to be the time to distribute lunch boxes.

The corridor in the room was full of people sitting, squatting, and standing.

At this time, Xu Chuan was sitting on the sofa in the dressing room eating a boxed lunch, and Cai Meng next to him was also eating a boxed lunch one by one.

While eating, he complained in a low voice: "It's a big TV station, why is this boxed lunch so unpalatable today? It's not as good as our crew's boxed lunch."

"I told you a long time ago that you don't need to stay here with me. You must listen. Now you can only eat this with me." Xu Chuan said with a smile.

"How can I do that? As your assistant, I ran home to celebrate the New Year when you participated in the Spring Festival Gala. Firstly, I have no professionalism, and secondly, I don't have the loyalty of friends. Do you think I look like that kind of person?" Cai Meng put the boxed lunch on the table , said after taking a sip of water.

After finishing speaking, she continued: "Just take me to eat a few more big meals in the future to make up for my hunger these days, hehe."

"Okay, you can eat whatever you want." Xu Chuan said and put the boxed lunch on the table.

Seeing the boxed lunch that Xu Chuan ate but didn't eat after two mouthfuls, Cai Meng moved to Xu Chuan's side and said, "How about it, Brother Chuan, do you also think today's boxed lunch is particularly unpalatable?"

"Not only is it unpalatable, it's not as good as the 8 yuan construction site meal next to my university." Xu Chuan echoed in a low voice.

After eating box lunch for the Spring Festival Gala for so many days, today is really a bit strange.

However, the biggest reason why neither of them can eat is probably because of their mood.

It's about to be broadcast live, and I really have no appetite.

"Yes, yes, there is a box lunch for construction workers next to my school, but it's great..." Cai Meng immediately regained his energy when he heard this.

"Hush~~" Before Cai Meng finished speaking, Xu Chuan gave her a wink.

When Cai Meng saw this action, he immediately stopped talking, and then turned his head indiscriminately. Only then did he realize that a CCTV reporter had entered their dressing room.

Obviously, this is coming for an interview.

Every year on the 9th, CCTV starts at [-]:[-] a.m. and conducts a full-day themed report on the theme of "One Year After Another".

The content of the report includes New Year celebration scenes in various places, and of course also reveals the secrets of the Spring Festival Gala backstage.

When I come to interview at this point, the questions I can ask will definitely include the content of the Spring Festival Gala box lunch.

Thinking of this, Xu Chuan and Cai Meng tacitly brought back the uneaten box lunch.

Sure enough, Xu Chuan, as the first time to participate in the Spring Festival Gala, is also a very topical figure. The CCTV reporter who came to interview after scanning around the people in the dressing room, walked over with the photographer without any hesitation.

After approaching, the reporter directly smiled and said, "Mr. Xu, hello."

"Hello." Xu Chuan said with a smile while holding a lunch box, and added to the camera after speaking, "Hello, everyone in front of the TV, I am Xu Chuan."

Seeing Xu Chuan being so proactive, the reporter immediately regained his spirits.

She smiled and said, "Ms. Xu, many viewers in front of our TV have always been very curious about the backstage of our Spring Festival Gala, and they are also very curious about our actors' meals.

It happens that you are eating now, can you introduce our Spring Festival Gala box lunch to the audience friends? "

Hearing this, Xu Chuan immediately lifted up the lunch box and put it in front of the camera.

Then he said with a smile: "Everyone, this is the box lunch for the Spring Festival Gala. There are potatoes and beef, tomato and eggs, shrimp and vegetables. How about it? Isn't it very rich?"

After finishing speaking, Xu Chuan put down the lunch box, picked up another small box and held it up in front of the camera, saying, "There are also after-dinner fruits, bananas, and dates."

Having said this, the corner of Xu Chuan's mouth suddenly couldn't help twitching.

This is the fruit that dog days go with.

Bananas with dates?

It is said on the Internet that it tastes like shit when eaten together.

Fortunately, I didn't have time to eat.

Thinking of this, Xu Chuan put the fruit down, planning to fool Cai Meng later to try to see if it is the legendary taste.

"Then can you describe to the audience the taste of our Spring Festival Gala box lunch?" The reporter continued to ask.

Xu Chuan was a little speechless when he asked this question. Potatoes and beef, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, shrimps, and vegetables, do you need to describe the taste of these dishes?Isn't this all home cooking?

You should ask me if it tastes good.

If you ask, I will definitely give you a reply of "reporting to eat", the authentic accent of the old Beijing.

I saw Xu Chuan answering while thinking, "The taste of box lunch? How should I describe it? Do you know what kiwi tastes like?"

"I know." The reporter was taken aback by Xu Chuan's question, why did he ask about kiwi fruit?
"The box lunch doesn't taste that way anyway." Xu Chuan replied solemnly.

"Pfft~~ Hehehehehehe..." Cai Meng, who was next to him, burst into laughter when he heard this.

Not only him, but the photographer who took the photo also visibly trembled.

The reporter naturally realized that Xu Chuan was teasing her.

But it doesn't matter, the effect is better than a serious interview.

Ever since, the reporter asked with a suppressed smile: "Mr. Xu, we all know that this is your first time participating in the Spring Festival Gala. May I ask what is your biggest feeling about participating in the Spring Festival Gala? Can you share it with the audience?"

"The biggest feeling?" Xu Chuan started to think again after hearing this, and then said solemnly, "The biggest feeling may be that there are many people in the backstage, to be honest, I have never seen a backstage with so many people, it is too lively.

Just now, before the lunch boxes were distributed, my colleague helped me get the buns. Six buns were squeezed in the corridor at the door. When she came in, there was only a plastic bag left in her hand. "

As soon as these words came out, Cai Meng, the photographer, and the reporter couldn't help but let out a burst of suppressed laughter.

Not only them, but the other actors and staff who were eating next to them, who were watching the fun, didn't froze when they heard this.

Without waiting for the reporter to ask, Xu Chuan continued: "I was really hungry at the time, and I thought, since I lost it in the corridor, I might find it if I look for it in the past.

Then I went out and squeezed through the crowd, and when I came back, good guy, half of the more than 20 apps on the phone were uninstalled. "

"Hahahahahahaha..." As soon as Xu Chuan finished speaking, a burst of laughter came from the dressing room.

The cameraman's camera is almost unsteady.

The reporter is almost holding back his internal injuries. Why is this guy talking so much nonsense?
"Every Spring Festival Gala, our backstage is really lively." The reporter concluded with a suppressed smile.

Then he continued to ask: "Mr. Xu, we have another theme for this year's interview, and that is "New Year's Eve Dinner". May I ask, in your mind, which year was the most impressive New Year's Eve dinner?"

As soon as this question came out, Cai Meng couldn't help frowning slightly.

She felt that it was inappropriate to ask Xu Chuan this question. Isn't this just adding salt to Xu Chuan's wound?
However, in the face of the CCTV reporter's interview in the background, Cai Meng can't go overboard to stop it.

After Xu Chuan heard this question, his mood also drifted a little.

After pondering for a moment, he said, "The most impressive thing is the New Year's Eve dinner when I was 8 years old. I was born in the countryside, so my grandma raised chickens, ducks, geese and pigs at home.

It was that year, I don’t know why, maybe the ducklings, chickens, geese, and piglets my grandma bought and raised were so cute, or maybe it was because I awakened my love for small animals that year.

Anyway, when I was after school or on vacation, I played with those chickens, ducks, geese and pigs every day. To put it inappropriately, they were like my hair during that time.

In this way, as time passed slowly, by the time of the New Year, they all grew up. "

Having said that, Xu Chuan paused.

"And then." The reporter asked suspiciously, didn't you talk about the New Year's Eve dinner, how did you talk about it?
"Then that year's New Year's Eve dinner, among the twelve dishes, I served eight of them." Xu Chuan said while looking at the camera with a complicated expression.

"Hahahahahahahahaha..." As soon as the words came out, another burst of laughter broke out in the dressing room.

The reporter actually wanted to laugh too, but the problem was that she couldn't. She had to look at Xu Chuan with a look of empathy and asked, "So, you were very sad at the time, and that's why you were so impressed by this New Year's Eve dinner, right?"

"That's true. I was so sad. At that time, tears flowed down from the corner of my mouth. I just ate three bowls with tears in my eyes. If it wasn't for my grandma who was afraid that I would last too long and wouldn't let me continue to eat, I wouldn't have eaten. Just can't stop.

It can only be said that the free-range chickens, ducks, geese and pigs in the countryside are really delicious, and the audience must try it if they have the opportunity. "Xu Chuan said and gave a thumbs up to the camera.

reporter:? ? ? ? ?

Are you seriously ill?

According to the routine, you should be sensational, brother!

But will Xu Chuan be sensational at this time?

For those who are not rich, the songs I will sing later and the advertisements I will put up later are already sensational enough.

It's still sensational to put it here now, and I'm not the heroine of a bitter drama.

After calming down, the reporter asked the last question: "Mr. Xu, Chinese New Year is coming soon, can you send a blessing to our audience in front of the TV?"

Hearing this, Xu Chuan straightened his body and became serious, then cupped his hands and said to the camera: "Dear audience friends, tens of thousands of blessings are gathered into one sentence.

I wish you and your family and friends good health and safety, no matter when and where, health and safety are the most important. "

"Okay, thank you, Mr. Xu, for accepting our interview. Thank you for your hard work." After the reporter finished speaking, he led the photographer to another person in the dressing room.

And Xu Chuan here couldn't help looking at the bananas and dates in front of him. He said to Cai Meng meanly: "Cai Cai, do you know what it tastes like to eat bananas and dates together?"

"What kind of taste could it be? Have you ever eaten watermelon? It's not that kind of taste anyway." Cai Meng said imitatively.

"Aren't you curious? In this way, if you take a bite of banana and two jujubes and feel it, it is said that it will produce a very wonderful taste, which is a new feeling that ordinary people can't experience." Xu Chuan said seriously.

"What is a new feeling that ordinary people can't understand?" Cai Meng looked at Xu Chuan suspiciously, always feeling that he was cheating himself.

"You'll know once you eat it, can I still lie to you?" Xu Chuan said with a smile.

Cai Meng's curiosity was indeed aroused when he heard the words, so according to Xu Chuan's statement, he first took a bite of the banana, then stuffed two dates into his mouth, and began to chew.

Xu Chuan looked at Cai Meng expectantly and asked, "How is it? What's the taste?"

"It's the taste of bananas and dates." Cai Meng said vaguely while continuing to chew.

"Impossible." Xu Chuan was a little puzzled when he heard this. Are all those videos on the Internet acting out?

Just as he was planning to try it himself, Cai Meng on the other side suddenly put on a pain mask.

"Bah, bah, what does it smell like?" Cai Meng quickly swallowed what was in his mouth, and then spat out the jujube residue into the trash can.

"I'll go, does it really smell that way?" Seeing this reaction, Xu Chuan was immediately surprised.

"You really are tricking me." Cai Meng couldn't help rolling her eyes at Xu Chuan when she heard this.

"I'll try it too." Xu Chuan has never tried it before, and now it looks so amazing that he really can't control his curiosity.

Xu Chuan was not the only one who was curious.

The dressing room is not big, and the movement of the two people is not small. Others are also led astray when they see the strange things that the two put on.

Xu Chuan was biting bananas and stuffing dates here, and the others in the dressing room couldn't help but also biting bananas and stuffing dates.

Ten seconds later, [-]% of the people who tried it in the dressing room put on the pain mask, and the remaining [-]% looked at the others in bewilderment, their eyes full of doubts "Is it that exaggerated?" .

Xu Chuan was one of the [-]%.

He really didn't taste the legendary "shit smell", that is, banana and jujube.

"Oh my god, what does it smell like?" All of a sudden, the dressing room became noisy.

This noisy scene was naturally seen by the reporter who was interviewing another actor nearby.

The actor being interviewed was also a little strange. She turned around and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Mr. Wu, try eating a banana and two dates." The one who had something good to do immediately encouraged him with a smile.

"Is there anything special about eating this way?" The person called Mr. Wu asked suspiciously.

"Just try it and you'll know, hahahaha, it's a very novel feeling." The man continued to encourage.

This Teacher Wu couldn't help instigating it, and the reporter was also very curious about what it was like for these people to make such a fuss all of a sudden.

So, Teacher Wu tried it in front of the camera.

Unfortunately, she felt a taste that her taste buds could not accept, and her expression immediately became tense. Her reaction was much stronger than that of other people.

After barely swallowing it, she immediately drank two sips of water, then said with an embarrassing face: "Who made such a bad way of eating?"

As soon as these words came out, everyone immediately looked at Xu Chuan in unison.

Seeing everyone looking at him, Xu Chuan turned his head and said, "Banana and jujube are referred to as jujube for short, and jujube is irritated. It is normal for the taste of irritability to be bad. So let's eat the irritability in advance now, so that next year we won't be irritated. Do you guys say so?"

"Hahahahahaha." As soon as these words came out, the people in the dressing room were taken aback for a moment, and then immediately laughed again. The atmosphere was joyful.

"I heard that Mr. Xu would be blind... No, it's because of his eloquence. Now it seems that it is true."

"Mr. Xu, do you want to consider acting in a language program next year?"

"I think it's okay, you have this talent."

Everyone joked for a while.

After a few more minutes, the reporter left.

Everyone in the dressing room has a friendship of "eating burnt dates" together. After the reporter is gone, the atmosphere of chatting is even better.

There are also some "wicked" people who think that such a good thing, naturally they can't just try it by themselves, there are acquaintances in other dressing rooms, so why not fool around?
Seeing the high spirits of these people, the corner of Xu Chuan's mouth couldn't help twitching.

Good guy, judging by the state of this group of people, they are planning to let all the actors in the backstage of the Spring Festival Gala eat it once, right?
Thinking of this, Xu Chuan hurriedly said: "Everyone, please don't say that I came up with this idea. I don't want to be beaten when I celebrate the Chinese New Year."

"Pfft~hahahahaha."

"Don't worry, eating burnt dates is such a good meaning, we will help you spread it."

"That's right, as the saying goes, when you drink water, you don't forget the well digger, and when you eat burnt dates, you don't forget you."

"Hahahahahaha."

Seeing their happy faces, Xu Chuan said helplessly, "Farewell, farewell, I still want to keep a low profile."

"Whatever I want, you are like a firefly in the dark, unable to keep a low profile."

"Mr. Xu, everyone knows that you came up with the idea without saying anything. When Mr. Wu was interviewed just now, it was recorded, based on my experience.

The content of the interview just now will appear on live TV in less than 10 minutes, and ordinary people across the country can see it. ’ said an actor with a smile.

In fact, the time to appear on live TV was much faster than the actor estimated.

Just 10 minutes after Xu Chuan finished the interview, CCTV's "Year after Year" live broadcast was already preparing to broadcast his interview screen.

"Next, let's follow the reporter's camera to see what's going on in the backstage of the Spring Festival Gala." The anchor's voice fell.

The female reporter who had just interviewed Xu Chuan appeared on the screen.

I saw her standing at the door of Xu Chuan's dressing room, and said to the camera: "Dear audience friends, the place where I am now is dressing room A08 at the backstage of the Spring Festival Gala.

It is understood that some of our performers tonight are all preparing for the performance inside at the moment, and it is exactly noon, so they should be eating.

Next, follow our lens to see how the performers in this dressing room are eating. "

After finishing the opening, she held the microphone and brought the camera into the dressing room.

What will be played next is her interview with Xu Chuan.

Although it is true that many people do not watch the Spring Festival Gala, most of the TVs at home are turned on during Chinese New Year's Eve.

So at this moment, many people still saw Xu Chuan's interview intentionally or unintentionally.

"Do you know what kiwi tastes like? Box lunch doesn't taste like that anyway."

"Go out for a while, good guy, half of the twenty apps on my phone have been uninstalled."

"There are twelve dishes for the New Year's Eve dinner, eight of which are served by me."

"Tears flowed down from the corner of my mouth... I ate three bowls with tears..."

When these nonsensical words came out of Xu Chuan's mouth, many people watching TV immediately burst into laughter.

Even elderly people can't help but smile knowingly when they hear "If it weren't for my grandma who was afraid that I would hold on so long that I wouldn't let me eat".

As for young people, most of Xu Chuan's "jokes" can be laughed at.

This includes Qiu Zhixia, the obedient younger brother that Qiu Yicheng said.

His stomach hurt from laughing, and while laughing, he shouted to Qiu Yicheng who was helping his parents prepare the New Year's Eve dinner in the kitchen: "Sister, sister, sister, come here quickly, come and see Xu Chuan, a living treasure."

Qiu Yicheng in the kitchen, hearing Qiu Zhixia shouting like a soul, shook off the water on her hand, and said as she walked out: "Don't take a bite of Xu Chuan, no big or small."

When Qiu Zhixia heard this, he rolled his eyes, and then said with a smile: "Then how about I change my name to brother-in-law?"

Hearing this, Qiu Yi gave Qiu Zhixia a white look, neither denying nor admitting it.

Seeing that Qiu Yicheng didn't speak, Qiu Zhixia continued to smile and said, "Then when will I take my brother-in-law to meet my brother-in-law?"

"Shut up, you!" Qiu Yicheng said to Qiu Zhixia a little annoyed.

"Shut up and shut up." Qiu Zhixia began to murmur in a low voice.

Generally speaking, he is still more afraid of Qiu Yicheng's sister, and it is accurate to say that he is afraid, and he is quite respectful.

As Qiu Yicheng's younger brother, Qiu Zhixia's appearance can be described as handsome. He is tall and has long legs and well-proportioned muscles, which is not bad compared to celebrities.

It is because of this that this guy's relationship with women has been very good since he was a child.

I've been in love since junior high school, and now I'm in my junior year, and I don't know how many girlfriends I've changed.

Of course, it doesn't matter if it's just that.

When it comes to dating, it’s not a big problem to change girlfriends frequently.

The point is that this guy likes a different type of woman.

Let's put it this way, when he was a sophomore in high school, this guy fell in love with his school's new music teacher.

When Qiu Yicheng heard the news, she was completely taken aback!

Later, this guy's girlfriend became more and more mature.

Those who are the same age or younger are not interested at all. He loves divorced young women. If he is not afraid of being beaten to death and affecting Qiu Yicheng, he probably wants to try even those who are not divorced.

Perhaps, he might have tried it, but Qiu Yicheng and the others didn't know.

Anyway, I don’t listen to what I say, and I don’t change what I hear.

Qiu Yicheng was really helpless.

His parents are even more helpless.

This is why Qiu Yicheng said "Qiu Zhixia was very obedient" in front of Xu Chuan.

When Xu Chuan first heard about it, he thought it was his younger brother who was ignorant, eating, drinking, whoring and gambling.

Later, when I found out what was going on, I was almost stupid, what about Qiu Zhixia, why not change my name to Qiu Mengde.

In the living room of Qiu Yicheng's house, after she chatted with Qiu Zhixia, she went to the kitchen to pack up the New Year's Eve dinner with her parents.

As for Qiu Zhixia, he was really bored, he was not lazy here, but was kicked out by Qiu Yicheng after he went to the kitchen for a while to help out.

As a result, he could only continue to swipe his phone while saying New Year's greetings to the young woman he met and looking at something.

About half an hour later, he discovered that the official account of Station D of CCTV also released the interview with Xu Chuan.

Qiu Zhixia instinctively clicked and read it again.

"Hahahahaha." Looking at it, he couldn't help laughing again.

Netizens who watched the video had the same reaction as him.

After reading it, he couldn't help but click on the comment section.

[Brothers, we already have the answer to what is the funniest language program in this year’s Spring Festival Gala]

[Hahahaha, please watch the skit "Interview with Xu Chuan" below]

[If this year's skits and cross talks are not as funny as Xu Chuan's interview, then they are really too funny]

Along with this discussion, half an hour later, the interview video of Teacher Wu was also released by CCTV.

The previous content is well-regulated, and there is not much to watch.

Until the scene of eating burnt dates appeared, the curiosity of netizens was completely aroused.

You have to say that people usually don’t go to buy bananas and dates to try.

But today is Chinese New Year, more or less people will prepare some fruits at home, so many people have bananas and dates on hand.

This is all right, a bunch of people started to try.

Qiu Zhixia is no exception.

After eating, his expression changed immediately, and he spit it out directly: "Why the hell is this like eating shit?"

Soon, a bunch of people began to share their experience of eating this stuff under this video.

Some said it was delicious, some said it was unpalatable, and most of them said that they didn't taste anything special.

Anyway, a group of people have nothing to do, so they started arguing.

And the entry of #范干和果果吃什么味# directly rushed into the trending search.

The popularity is just below #报话徐川#.

It was at this time that a reply in the comment area made many people burst out laughing.

[I'm in the backstage of CCTV. I just heard that 9% of the performers in the backstage have been fooled into trying it. The feedback on taste, you can experience it yourself.

Anyway, according to Xu Chuan, he called this behavior "eating burnt jujubes", which means to eat the "irritability" of the coming year in advance and pray for a smooth year. 】

As soon as this reply came out, a bunch of people commented frantically.

【Hahahaha, Xu Chuan just made it up because he was afraid of being beaten】

[Not to mention, the compilation is really a bit like that. 】

[I announce that the funniest program of this year's Spring Festival Gala really appeared, the title of the program is "Everyone Eats Scorched Dates"]

[Then the question is, is "Interview with Xu Chuan" more funny, or "Everyone Eats Burnt Dates" is more funny]

[I think the funniest one may be "It turns out that language programs really don't have interviews and eating burnt dates is funny"]

As soon as this comment appeared, it immediately received crazy comments from many netizens.

It's afternoon now, and there are still a few hours before the Spring Festival Gala airs. After the airing, if it is really hit by this comment, it will be a real joy.

　Thanks for the reward of [Cute Leaf Sauce]
　　
　
(End of this chapter)