What to do when the devil's wife comes to the door

11 years of relationship, how does it feel to be separated

Since writing this book, I have not stopped updating it.

It is obvious to all.

Yesterday was really impossible.

Something really happened.

What's the matter?

Just to break up with my girlfriend...

To be exact, break up with your ex-girlfriend!
We met when we were 11, and we established a relationship after 12 years... 23 years this year, a whole... 11 years of relationship...

Then, they broke up... After 11 years of long-distance running, they were actually quite reluctant to part with each other, and they both still loved each other, but this is the reality.

Everything in the world develops and changes, and so do people... Because it is a long-distance relationship, with less gathering and more separation, many conflicts can only be resolved through the screen of the mobile phone, and mobile phones are actually not good. You don’t know the other person’s status, whether they are really angry or not. , and many times... both parties will subconsciously say something that hurts the other party and is irreparable...

Those can be explained clearly later, but the injury is the injury, after all, there is a thorn... If there are too many thorns, there will be many scars...

In the end, it will be disheartened.

I don't blame her, I just blame me for not protecting her.

Many times, I thought that as long as I worked hard to earn money, buy a car and a house... add her to the future plan, make some big decisions that will help us in the future, and wait until we get married.

Even the point is not to get married, but to have children, raise children, raise children...

There are also plans for the education of future children, and so on.

However, once a boy is serious and wants to spend his whole life with a girl, he will become very straight, thinking about big plans for the future, ignoring girls' feelings and details...

For example, various festivals.

In fact, I lived for her at the beginning, but later... because she said it was a waste, the money should be reserved for the future, I wait for you to marry me, and then... I have been working on cars and houses...

But, she really doesn't care, but seeing her colleagues get presents from her boyfriend every festival and accompanied by her boyfriend, she can hold back once or twice...

However, after all, it is the envy of others.

I'm more envious...

You will also feel hurt.

Gradually...she is very silent, but it actually longs in her heart for you to understand her from her state and satisfy her...at least let her not envy others, it's not a good gift, even if you care... two people go to have a meal.

Even though we were in a different place, she wanted me to show up.

But... I didn't show up.

The more disappointed, the more estranged...

There is a contradiction.

So... Xiaohuo warns everyone with his own experience, don't let your girlfriend envy others...

We met yesterday.

Talked a lot.

Go climbing together, climb the TV tower.

Tired, but how I wish the road would never end... She and I cried a lot, hurt and tired, I was not around at all...

I can only bear it by myself, can't help sending me messages, sometimes I'm busy... I didn't reply in time, and then she couldn't help the impatience in her heart, and she would say some ugly things, and when I saw it, I naturally thought she was okay Looking for trouble, so the quarrel is hard to avoid, although I will calm down soon...but it is always separated by the screen.

The other party can't feel whether you are relieved, whether you are still angry, and how to comfort you.

Sometimes...if we are together, maybe a hug can solve a lot of things, but...in a different place.

Gathering less and leaving more, many disappointments... After all, she doesn't love me anymore, I lost her.

I heard her talk about a lot of grievances yesterday, and felt that I was not a human being, but I also have grievances... I am also working hard for the future, and finally bought a car, finally bought a house... finally...

But what she said woke me up.

You always talk about the future, and finally you have all the conditions for us to go on in the future, but...you lost me.

I was stunned for a moment... Yes, if I worked hard to get all the future conditions, and I lost her, then what's the point of working together...? ? ?
Why did we work together in the first place? ? ?
Isn't it just to be together...

However, we worked hard to the end...is it actually for the sake of trying to separate?
In fact, I am quite unwilling... I want to keep him, I want to say that I will change!

But she said that in the days without me, she slept very soundly, no longer worried, and could rest well on weekends... She has gained more than ten catties, and now she is more than 90.

It turned out that she was only 78, and I felt even more uncomfortable. With a weak body of 78 catties, it is hard to imagine how difficult it is to resist so many difficulties...

It's even better if she doesn't have me. Even if I want to keep her, what qualifications do I have...

She has cried.

I cried from the TV tower all the way down the mountain, I hugged her to comfort her, but I found that she was really different from before.

She won't face me, there is no emotion in her eyes... It's that kind, I've known it for a long time, it's the kind that is very familiar with me, but there is no emotion at all, this is not artificial... It's not intentional, but it's really gone ...I really lost her.

In the past, no matter how much we quarreled, as long as we met and hugged, her eyes were all about me, and I was all about her... No matter how decisive she said...we still have each other, yesterday...I really felt, She really doesn't love anymore...Even if there is a little love, it is insignificant, not enough to reverse her heart of leaving, maybe...that insignificant thing is not love...but, dependence...or not dependence, but a habit ...has a habit of having me in her life, but it's not love, I know this habit she'll get used to quickly...

At the foot of the mountain, we ate a lobster meal like nothing happened, and ate a few skewers of barbecue.

Later, we sent her back together, on the street... Maybe she also knew that it was the last time, and wanted me to walk slowly, and even offered to get me a pair of glasses... When we were together, my eyes were not short-sighted...

However, I am not qualified to stay.

She has been sent to the school gate, she is a teacher... and a shareholder of the school.

We brought up to sit down and chat because it might be the last time... She talked about all the grievances over the years, dysmenorrhea...stomach pain...it's all because of me, indeed it's all because of me...

In her words, I became a person who can only hurt her, and I... can't find any reason to refute it. I really only hurt her and failed to protect her.

Later I also talked about my grievances. I am a person who is not good at expressing. I was actually afraid of her worrying about many things. I didn’t tell her about it. I was afraid of her when I was sick...work...life...and many other family matters that collapsed Worried, I think...we are men, so we should let her be carefree, but...I find this is wrong, sometimes share it with her, two people bear it together, in fact, it is better than one person, because it will understand each other !

she cried…

I cried…

cry hard...

I've never cried in front of her, or in front of anyone, and we're not young...

Not a child either.

I cry because I really lost her, I really want to say that I can change, I can change how you want, as long as you don't leave me, I'm really wrong... But, I don't deserve it...

Really, I don't deserve it!

I don't deserve to be in her life anymore... I really want to do many things with her, travel... eat food, share stories...

But because of the screen, sometimes when I shared my life, she thought I was showing off to her or something... to stimulate her or something!
Hey…

She said that I don't love her, but last year her family was all sun, we went to her house together without hesitation, and then I became sun... I was afraid of disturbing her, I was afraid of bothering her, so I drove home by myself because I was too weak, even Driving is in poor condition.

Finally got home.

Lying there for a week, alone!Very painful!Very painful!

Sometimes I can't even get out of bed to pour water...

When you are thirsty and hungry, eat a banana on the bedside...

But this is not worth advocating. As I said before, in fact, many times, we can carry it together... She even thought that I was afraid of taking care of her after I left... She was right, sometimes I really A big man with too serious ideas always doesn't want to leave the scene of weakness to her.

Hey!
I can only sigh!

In fact, this kind of situation... There are many, many, and she did not deny it. She thinks that I am a good person, and thinks that I am very good most of the time, but for her... the harm to her is indelible.

She said she wouldn't look back.

Never again, I don’t want to experience rolling in pain in the middle of the night, I don’t want to wait for my news, I don’t want to suffer from insomnia, I don’t want a lot!

I really don't have any reason to go back.

I'm really not reconciled, did we work so hard at the beginning just to separate in the end?
We talked a lot later... I got some understanding, but I think I'm making excuses, maybe it's because I don't love it.

Later, at 11 o'clock... I told her to leave quickly because I really didn't want her to see me break down and cry.

this maybe...

It's still my big man's idea.

I kept chasing her away, not really wanting her to go... I really didn't want her to see me cry and be... guilty.

Later, she left without looking back...

Really don't look back...

Never once has it been like this.

In the past, every time I sent her off, she sent me off... We would silently watch each other disappear before leaving, each time we were reluctant.

This time, I stared at her, she really didn't look back, didn't stop at all.

i cried a lot...

Then go home.

Got home at 3am.

Hundreds of kilometers of road.

I don't even know how I got home... I was in a daze, and it was still raining heavily, which is ironic and appropriate for the occasion.

I just feel that it's really over, but... what should I do, I'm used to having her, for a moment... I feel that life is meaningless...

What is the meaning of my future life?
I always remind myself that people always have to go through many things...

Breakups are also one of them.

However, we were each other's first love...we've known each other since we were students.

We used to love each other very much, she would always call me Brother Ming, ask me if I finished the novel, ask me this and that... Even yesterday I deleted me with her mobile phone, because I couldn’t bear to delete her, so I deleted it with her mobile phone me.

I sneaked back to look at last year’s chat history, she still loves me very much...Maybe I let her down too much...

I couldn't sleep all night.

until dawn.

I always think that yesterday and today... are one day!
I have seen many, many things that I didn’t know how to cherish before, and things that were within easy reach before, have disappeared...

I regret it.

On the one hand, I regret that I failed her and failed to protect her well. On the other hand, I regret that I should not have known her back then, so that...she would not get hurt.

There won't be so many ups and downs.

Joys and joys.

If I were given a chance to do it all over again, I would either choose not to love her, or... would care about her feelings and take better care of her.

It will no longer be career-centric.

I went in the wrong direction, why did I start a career, it was all for her...

(End of this chapter)