lady, please calm down

Chapter 45

The main building of the west cross courtyard.

Chen Chu, Cai Er, Liu Changqing and two scholars surnamed Wang and Zhang gathered together.

Everyone was originally writing lyrics for "Journey to the West: The Legend of Shi'er", but before writing the lyrics, they first talked about the advertisement of Juyang Zigua.

Yesterday, Cai Er told Chen Chu that the purple melons were not selling well, and the latter thought it might be a publicity problem.

So now we're getting together to compose another advertisement and publish it under the new chapter of "Journey to the West".

"If advertising isn't working well, use the news to spread the word."

"Men, what is news?" Liu Changqing asked this question on behalf of everyone.

"News is what happens on the street."

"What's the connection between interesting stories and Juyang purple melon?" Cai Er asked.

Chen Chu thought for a while, then randomly found a dilapidated tabletop painted with black paint in the house and erected it against the wall, dipped his fingers in clean water, and wrote on the tabletop: Is the sixty-year-old woman giving birth again, is it moral decay or human nature distortion? .

"."

"."

The people below were stunned and inexplicable.

So Chen Chu said again: "Seeing this title, do you want to know the reason?"

Several people look at me, I look at you, finally Wang Shusheng said: "Think"

"Well, this is the role of the title. It must be horrifying and eye-catching enough. But the content that follows is the key to marketing Purple Melon."

Chen Chu dipped in the water again, and continued to write in slightly smaller characters:
According to Xia Huche, a reporter from our newspaper in Tongshan County, recently Aunt Zhang, who is nearly sixty years old, gave birth to a unicorn in a certain Lane in Tongshan County. Aunt Zhang’s husband, Uncle Zhang, happily told reporters that he has no children under his knees. No daughter, I have already cut off the idea of ​​continuing the incense.

But I didn't want to, ten months ago I ate Juyang purple melon in Caiwei Pavilion in the city. After that, Uncle Zhang no longer hurts his waist, his legs are no longer sore, and he has become more energetic.

What he didn't expect was that the old wife gave birth to pearls from old mussels, which made the Zhang family have descendants.

Speaking of this, Uncle Zhang wept with joy.

At the same time, Uncle Zhang specially took the opportunity of this interview with this newspaper to express his solemn thanks to Caiwei Pavilion in Tongshan County and Zigua in Juyang. Thank you for making Uncle Zhang look like a second spring, and thank you for giving them the experience of being a parent. joy!

Great kindness and great virtue, unforgettable forever!
Our reporter Xia Huche interviewed in Tongshan County.June 27, the seventh year of Fuchang. '

Chen Chu finished writing.

Looking back, everyone was sitting on their chairs with their mouths open and eyes wide open, as if they had been struck by lightning.

Only Yunong, who was standing by the wall, didn't pay attention to the table, but secretly took out a candied fruit from her purse and stuffed it into her little mouth.

While no one was paying attention, I chewed a few times quickly, occasionally stopped, turned my round and innocent big eyes to observe, and then chewed a few more times
Like a squirrel eating a squirrel.

Cai Wei, who had already entered the main room, wanted to settle the score with Chen Chu, but at this time she also forgot about it.

Standing at the door in a daze, he actually asked a naive and stupid question, "Is this true?"

Cai Kun knew it was not true, but he almost asked the same question as his sister.

This report has a name, a time and a place, just like what happened around me.

"Quickly engrave it! Don't change a single word!"

After Cai Er recovered from the shock, he yelled immediately.

But Chen Chu tapped on the broken tabletop that served as a blackboard, and said, "No rush."

"Ah?" Cai Er didn't understand why, but he didn't ask, waiting for Chen Chu to tell the reason.

"You think, if it is published, the entire page will be this interview except for "Journey to the West".

"Brother, how to do a full set?"

Chen Chu looked at Yunong.
Yunong, who was not aware of it, secretly stuffed a candied fruit to Cui Yuan beside her, then turned her body and lowered her head slightly, sucking the juice from her fingers, and when she was about to touch another one
"Yunong~"

Chen Chu's call startled the candied fruit in Yunong's hand.

"Nunu is here, what's the matter?" Yunong hurriedly responded.

Chen Chu couldn't help laughing, "I need you to write something and publish it."

"Nunu can't write articles." Hearing this, Yunong felt bitter.

The rest of the people also looked at Chen Chu suspiciously.

Although Yu Nong is proficient in literature and ink, it is ridiculous to ask her to write articles and publish them. When the time comes for Confucian scholars to read them, they will definitely be criticized.

Let alone her, even the two scholars Wang and Zhang sitting here have no guts to publish their articles for the world to judge.

Literati look down on each other, and if you dare to publish it, it will attract countless scholars to criticize and find fault.

Whoever dares to spread his articles to the world is not a great Confucianist in the world, or a talented scholar who is famous all over the world.

To put it bluntly, none of them qualified.

"It's not for you to make a fuss." Chen Chu explained.

"I can't write poems either." Yunong put her small hand on her chest, shaking it slightly but extremely frequently, signaling to the young master not to embarrass her.

"I'm not asking you to write poems. I'm asking you to write some knowledge about makeup, right? For example, whose rouge is better, which shop's lip paper is beautiful in color and lasts longer, for example, what kind of makeup is suitable for which face shape? "

"Uh, Nunu understands this."

"Brother, how do you apply the makeup of your daughter's house that was published in "Journey to the West"?"

Although Cai Er did not expressly object, but that look clearly showed the attitude of 'not understanding'.

But Cai San, who was standing at the door, clapped his hands and laughed, "Xiaogou Chen, you want all educated and literate women in the world to read this newsprint. My guess is that you will sell your daughter soon." Household items."

shit.

Chen Chu fell asleep immediately.

Because this crazy beauty hit some of his plans
Surprised in his heart, Chen Chu said calmly: "Cai Xiaogou, where can I sell my daughter's things? It's just that the world's population is divided into men and women, and the women's consumer market is also quite huge. For example, our "make my daughter look good" 'Isn't the Zhuyan fruit going to be sold to them a lot?"

There was some truth in these words, Cai San leaned against the door, playing with his hair, and tilted his head to look at Chen Chu, with a half-believing look in his winking eyes.

Chen Chu said to Yu Nong again: "Yu Nong, don't limit your column to cosmetics, such as clothes, jewelry, fabrics, female celebrities, including poems and songs, you can write and share your daughter's favorite things. .At the same time, readers are also invited to submit articles and write letters to discuss and communicate.”

Chen Chu looked at the rest of the people again, and continued, "You too, you can write or receive manuscripts for folk tales, anecdotes, tourist attractions, gourmet sharing, and courtiers for a fee. In this way, the article about Zigua’s interview is hidden in it, so it doesn’t seem obtrusive. Be careful not to comment on current policies, so as not to cause unnecessary trouble.”

Although Cai Er was amazed by Chen Chu's whimsical idea, he still couldn't help being puzzled when he heard this, "Brother, are you making such a big battle just to sell purple melons?"

Chen Chu smiled, and said in a calm tone, "Perhaps...this newsprint will be of great use in the future."

"Will Journey to the West, Shi'er Biography, be called "Newsprint" from now on?"

"Uh, let's call it "Today's Headlines."

After negotiating various matters, Chen Chu picked a light-hearted topic and said, "Everyone will have a pseudonym in the future, why don't you think about it now, and let everyone take a closer look at it when you say it."

This matter was really interesting, and several people talked about it.

Wang Shusheng gave himself a pseudonym of 'Qingyuan Dongtian Master'.

Zhang Shusheng is called "Fanshanren".

Liu Changqing borrowed the character 'Pleiades Star Officer' from Journey to the West.

Even the brothers and sisters of the Cai family joined in the fun, and each took a favorite pseudonym.

When it was Yu Nong's turn, he blurted out: "My family is called 'Chu Yu'."

Several people looked at Chen Chu with playful eyes, but Cai Er frowned and reprimanded: "Young Master Chen loves you, it is your blessing! Do you really not know your identity?"

Cai Kun was not worrying indiscriminately.

It is not uncommon for a man to go to the Goulan to play, and it is not uncommon for him to say any kind of sweet words in the bed, but when he leaves the Goulan, he will become a "gentleman".

"Today's Toutiao" is going to be published in the world, and there are a few men who are willing to put together their own names and the names of "sisters".

Speaking of which, Yunong was a bit out of line, Cai Er was worried that Chen Chu would be unhappy, so he said that.

After staring blankly for a while, Yunong hurriedly lowered her head, aggrieved and changed her words: "The 'Chu' mentioned by the slave family is the Chu land, the Chu country of Chu."

Chen Chu didn't have the stink of the scholars at this time, but he didn't think of this level, so he went on to say: "Yunong's column still needs a good poem to support the appearance, so that it can be convincing and let the women set it up. Female readers are convinced. Let's all think about it."

This is to find someone to catch the knife at the scene.

The Cai brothers and sisters and Liu Changqing are not good at poetry, so this task can only fall on Zhang and Wang.

But it is not easy to write a good poem in a short time.

After half an hour of hard thinking, Zhang Shusheng finally choked out a masterpiece:
The fairy in the world leans on the red building, causing passers-by to watch endlessly.

The snow-white rabbit walks in the sky, and the silver toad swims in the water.

"No."

After reading this poem, Chen Chu felt that he could do it
After vetoing several 'good works' one after another, Zhang and Wang were slightly annoyed, and couldn't help saying: "Since none of them can catch Mr. Chen's eyes, why don't you compose a song and let the two of us experience it?"

Low oil, the level is not good, so why don't you let me talk about it?

Chen Chu got up and stood in front of the blackboard, and raised his hand after getting wet.

Seeing that Brother Chen was about to compose a poem, everyone turned to look over, even Yang Zhen, the eldest son and others surrounded the door.

"Brother Chu is going to become famous! I knew he was not an ordinary person, let's see, Brother Chu will definitely be able to compare with these two scholars!"

The brothers at home are awesome, and before Chen Chu wrote a word, Wu Kui decided that he was going to be a blockbuster today.

After pondering for a moment, Chen Chu began to write with his hand.
Liu Changqing on the side also felt that Master was going to show his real talent today.

Master and his old man can write "Journey to the West: The Legend of Shi'er", how can there be no gully in his belly!

Liu Changqing looked at the blackboard and read slowly: "A man needs to be self-improvement!"

With just one sentence, a masculine masculinity rushed over.

great poem!

Then, the next sentence slowly flowed out from Chen Chu's fingers.
"Pfft~"

"puff!"

Down below, the Cai family brothers and sisters broke the defense one after another.

Liu Changqing's expression became extremely strange. Standing aside, he didn't read it, and he didn't read it.

"Mr. Liu, you read it!" Yang Zhen said anxiously.

Liu Changqing, who was constipated, looked at Chen Chu, then at Yang Zhen, and finally gritted his teeth and said:

"A man needs to be self-reliant, first of all, decal yellow on the mirror.

Hengmei coldly pointed at Qianfu, no one should mess with my old lady. "

"Nice poem!"

"it is good!"

"Li Bai in the Tang Dynasty couldn't write Ye Hao!"

The brothers in Qifengling, who didn't know anything about the ball, applauded and looked bright.

Our first brother, great!
　Two chapters and [-] words, readers and gentlemen, just say that I am not strong enough!

　　
　
(End of this chapter)