Chapter 1 Epiphanies and Dreams
"There are two me in the world
one wants to go home
one wants to travel far
A toast to the bright moon
One kneels down to pick up broken silver
A White Horse in Green Shirt Xu Fengnian
A pyrotechnic world speaks softly
A heart higher than the sky chasing the stars
a mediocre looking for results
One is in the text, the white horse in the spring shirt walks slowly

One is in life, and the dog is poor. "

Ye Xingchen, who has been in the society for four years since college, is sitting on a corner of the barbecue stall and looking at the vehicles passing by on the road in front of him, talking to himself.

"Since when did you become so artistic, it's not like you."

At this time, a boy with a flat head sitting opposite him said in a row.

Ye Xingchen shook his head bitterly, picked up a bottle of beer on the table and took a big gulp.

Looking at Ye Xingchen in front of him, the flat-headed boy seemed to be in a bad mood. He hurriedly picked up the beer beside him and got up and said, "Hey, didn't you agree to drink with me today? Why are you drinking alone? It's too dishonest. Come on, if you don’t drink with me, it’s okay if I drink with you.”

As he spoke, he drank more than half of the bottle of beer in one gulp.

"It's done." The flat-haired boy emptied the beer bottle in his hand, then sat down again and asked, "What's the matter, work is not going well, or the family is not in harmony."

"It's nothing, I just feel too tired to live."

Ye Xingchen, who was still lifeless just now, suddenly became calm at this moment, and his eyes did not have the slightest wavering.

"Damn, don't scare me. I don't need to be scared. Tell me what's going on. Don't worry about it. If you're dead, what will Dad do, ah..."

Speaking of which, the boy with a flat head began to cry "showing his true feelings".

"Fuck you, who can't think about it, you can talk, if you can't talk, go to the dog's table." Ye Xingchen pointed to the dog who was playing happily in the trash can over there, and looked at the crew-haired boy in a bad tone.

The boy with a flat head is named Zhao Hao, but Ye Xingchen usually likes to call him by splitting his name, Zhao Ritian, this name is so domineering.

"I can't think about it, that's good, that's good, tell me, what's wrong with this, so depressed." Zhao Hao resumed his serious look, opened another bottle of beer and handed it to Ye Xingchen.

Ye Xingchen took the beer and said, "It's nothing, I'm just too tired."

"Work?"

"More than that, all aspects are quite tiring."

"As far as I know, your job is not bad. Your monthly income is more than [-], and you still sit in an office every day. Look at me, it's only [-] yuan after entering the factory. It's about to be crushed." Zhao Hao looked at Ye Xingchen with envy at the moment.

Ye Xingchen smiled wryly: "Come on, I still envy you. At least you can do whatever you want, and the family won't care too much about you. As for me, my life seems to be planned out, and I don't have freedom."

"Who says no one cares anymore, it's just that I don't listen." Zhao Hao said relaxedly, "Maybe I'm more rebellious, but I feel that time passes really fast. If I don't live for myself now, I'm afraid I will There is no chance. Besides, in this form, this thing mutates every day, who knows how many rounds I can resist, maybe it will be dead when the sun recovers tomorrow."

"Eh..." Ye Xingchen suddenly became speechless, not knowing what to say.

This is Zhao Hao continuing to say: "You are too entangled. You care about other people's eyes, but you also want to live out yourself. You understand the truth when persuading others. When you change to yourself, you will not be able to do it. If you are not tired, whoever is tired."

"Too."

Ye Xingchen nodded. There was nothing wrong with what he said. Looking at the beer in his hand, he couldn't help frowning.

Zhao Hao saw what Ye Xingchen was struggling with at a glance, and continued: "Master, I remember you said something to us when you were a freshman, and I realized it at that time, but I didn't expect that you, as a master, haven't understood it yet. "

"what?"

"We will die one day, maybe ten years later, maybe 30 years, maybe 50 years, who knows, there is no trace of our existence in this world."

"Uh, I have a little impression." Ye Xingchen searched for the memory in his mind at this time.

"I don't remember the topic we talked about at that time, but I have remembered this sentence until now. Just when you finished saying this sentence, at that moment, I realized what tm face, what tm sophistication, and what pressure , it doesn’t matter at all. I thought about this sentence all night, and I woke up the next day feeling refreshed, and I have been happy every day since then, because nothing is important anymore.

Xingzi, let me ask you a question. "

Ye Xingchen looked up at the friend in front of him. He realized that he seemed to have never understood him before. After a while, he said slowly, "Are you asking?"

"Assuming you will die next year, of course I'm not cursing you."

"Yes, you continue."

At this time, Ye Xingchen seemed to have grasped something, eager to hear it.

"Suppose you were to die next year, what kind of job would you choose, what kind of life would you live, what kind of attitude would you have towards your friends, what kind of attitude would you have towards your family?"

With a bang, Ye Xingchen felt clear in front of him. The big stone that had been stuck in his heart disappeared at this moment, and he felt much more relaxed.

It took a long time for Ye Xingchen to wake up from that feeling, and then raised the wine in front of him and said, "Haozi, thank you! You are very powerful. I think you are the one with the highest level among the six of us."

"Stop, don't flatter me, just drink it yourself, drink it."

After the two touched each other, they drank freely.

……

Ye Xingchen didn't know how much he drank that night. Anyway, after taking Haozi a taxi to take him home, he staggered back home. Fortunately, his home was nearby, and his parents paid 50 yuan and the down payment. The remaining 50 was Ye Xingchen's own repayment of the loan slowly. In this small city, housing prices are not cheap at all. Ordinary people may not be able to rely on their own ability to buy a house or a car in their entire life.

After returning home, Ye Xingchen fell asleep on his bed. Maybe it was because of the alcohol, or maybe it was because of the unhappiness. Ye Xingchen fell asleep very quickly.

In the dimness, he seemed to hear a voice.

"If you were given a chance to start over in your life, would you live the way you want?"

"meeting!"

Although Ye Xingchen's consciousness was very vague at this time, his answer was exceptionally firm.

"I will live for myself, to be happy.

But life cannot be restarted. "

"who said it!"

……

Then Ye Xingchen's eyes suddenly lit up with a strong white light, as if under this white light, there was nowhere to hide from the darkness.

After regaining consciousness, Ye Xingchen vaguely heard that voice again.

"Remember what you said and live for yourself."

Ye Xingchen asked the doubt in his heart: "Who are you?"

"I, I am you. Oh, forgot, I still have a name, Ye Xingchen."

(End of this chapter)

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